He’d put my brother, who had proven to have shit for brains, over Lincoln, a man who had given his life for this family three times over. That shit didn’t sit well with me. I’d told my father this many times, including that night in Miami. No matter what decision my father made, I should have stood my ground. I should’ve been the leader that he’d groomed me to be and stood by the one person that had had my back through so much deep shit.
Since that day in Miami, I had fought the inner urges engrained in me since I was born. I’d barely spoken to Eddie, except if forced to. However, when we were alone, I craved to wrap my hands around his piece of shit ass neck and squeeze until his life faded. You would think I’d be thrilled to know that every time he looked at his reflection, it reminded him of the day that he got the shit beat out of him in Miami. I fucked his nose up so bad that the doctors told him that they couldn’t get it as straight as it used to be. Unfortunately, that’s not enough for me. It’s why I’ve kept my eyes on him. I didn’t trust him. I felt for a long time that there would come a time where he would show his true colors.
I felt that time was now. There would be no stopping me this time. Whenever this shit came to a head, I would beat the shit out of him again, then put a bullet in his head.
All of this, again, had me thinking about what to do. My father wasn’t going to like the outcome of this little feud Eddie and I had. However, there could only be one to rule, and it would undoubtedly be me.
The funny thing was how Lincoln thought my brother and I had a great relationship. I guess I was a great actor because that was farthest from the truth. The times Lincoln would complain about Eddie, or threaten to put a bullet in him, I was level-headed. I never encouraged it. I never showed that I not only wanted Lincoln to kill Eddie, but that I willed it. If I could’ve, I would have told him to do it a long time ago so that I could be rid of the dead weight that had been pulling down the family for years.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t always feel like this. There was a time that I loved my brother. I looked up to him, worshiped him even. I thought he was larger than life. To a kid like me, Eddie knowing how to fight was like having Jackie Chan living with me. However, that changed my first year of high school. Eddie turned his back on me when I needed him the most, and I hadn’t forgotten that fact. I was fourteen years old when I felt the ugliness of betrayal at the hands of someone close to me. It was a bitter horse pill to swallow, but it prepared me for life. It showed me that anyone was capable of disappointing you.
I also changed inwardly during that time in my life. I started fighting more. My aggression became uncontrollable. I stopped hanging out with the friends that I knew for years and found another group of friends that were more my speed. My new crew and I started running shit in the streets. My father couldn’t control me, so he started molding me to channel my talents to serve him better. When I was seventeen, I began working for Pops. By the time that I was twenty-two, I was my father’s head enforcer. Darrell and Hugo were part of my crew back then. They were my Lieutenants, men that I trusted with my life. We invoked fear in anyone that no one ever thought about going against my father. When Lincoln came to the family, the fear went to new heights.
When Lincoln arrived on Pops’ doorstep, I knew he was different. He was quiet for a while, learning all that he could. He was very observant. I could tell that we were alike in many ways; hard-headed, aggressive, and mean. He and I never said much of anything to each other. Instead, we sized each other silently, knowing that there would be a fight between us soon. There could be only one alpha amongst us, and I was determined for that person to be me.
I didn’t know at the time, but Lincoln had serious family trust issues. His family didn’t have a clue on how to handle him. Instead of getting to know their son and brother, they kept him at arm’s length. When he got into that shit with his formal employer, they turned their backs on him. They didn’t give a shit that he was exonerated; they still treated him like shit. That was the last draw for him, and he decided to come to the dark side.
He wasn’t trusting of us at first. It took a minute, but I saw something in his eyes that told me that he knew he was right where he belonged.
I will say at first that Eddie thought Lincoln was refreshing. He felt as if he could control Lincoln. Let me tell you, watching him parade around like he was running shit, throwing orders at Lincoln, was funny as hell. If you let Lincoln tell it, Eddie hated him the first day that he came to the house. That wasn’t true. Eddie’s hatred for Lincoln manifested on the third day after he arrived at our doorstep.
On the third night, Eddie and I decided to take Lincoln out for some drinks. We wanted to welcome him officially into the family. You know, break him in to see what he was made of. Admittedly, Eddie and I had two different objectives for taking Lincoln out. Eddie wanted to show Lincoln what it meant to be a part of our family, to understand the pecking order. My goal was to test Lincoln. I wanted to know what kind of man he was. I wanted to know if that evilness that I saw in his eyes was true or just a front. As I mentioned, at the time, I had no desire to be in charge. I was doing my thing backing up my father’s interests. I just wanted to know if I could count on Lincoln to do the same.
So, there we were; playing pool, drinking, and minding our own business. Yet, Eddie, at this time, thought he was next in line to lead the family. It didn’t matter where we were, he walked around as if he was running shit. That night he was doing his usual, walking around with his chest poked out. What made my day was seeing that Lincoln wasn’t buying what Eddie was selling. The look of distrust was evident on Lincoln’s face that night and he never lost it after that day. Eddie couldn’t tell what was happening, that he was losing Lincoln, but I did. I also saw the perfect opportunity to test my theory when six rather large clueless idiots approached us. They were tired of waiting around until our pool game was finished. They thought they had a couple of bitches in us, and they wanted our table.
I started toward the idiots to handle the situation. Eddie, however, decided he would take over. I didn’t argue and neither did Lincoln. We stood silently behind Eddie as his chest puffed out authoritatively. He kept saying shit like, “You don’t want trouble over here. You best be smart, shut your mouth and keep moving.”
I will say it looked as if it was working. They seemed to believe Eddie had some balls until… well… until I decided it was time to end this talking bullshit. I didn’t have time for this. I knew Lincoln didn’t either. I felt it. Therefore, I threw a bottle, hitting one of the idiots right on his forehead.
I’ll tell you, popping Lincoln’s cherry was fun as hell. It was a sight to uphold. Man, just thinking about that night riled me up.
Lincoln and I beat the shit out of anyone that stepped up to us. We didn’t hold back. We got bloody, and we fought dirty and without prejudice. Most importantly, we had each other’s back. It didn’t matter that we didn’t know each other. We were family. He learned that I had no problem starting shit when necessary and that I knew how to back up my shit. I had also learned that Lincoln was a fucking beast.
Eddie never got the chance to prove himself to Lincoln. Apparently, he wasn’t ready for the brawl that I started. Unfortunately, for him, his face first met someone’s fist, then it met the floor seconds into the fight.
The bond between Lincoln and I started that night, and it grew from there. His presence also pushed me towards my destiny. I didn’t need to be the enforcer anymore. It was time for me to step into my role in this family. My father knew that, between my brother and me, I would be the one to carry us. I didn’t care either way at first. As I learned more and more about this life and all it took to lead it, I realized that I was born for this.
The name Leonetti was feared by most. However, there were some that wanted to test us. The Capuanos incident with Eddie and that woman was a good example, as well as what happened to them after we learned of their treachery. We solidified our power through our little ‘underground communi
ty’ and have no problem doing it again.
I’ve led by example countless times. I was not a pussy who delegated shit to his men because he was afraid to pull the trigger. Fuck no, as you’ve witnessed, I had no problem ending a life. I’d done it a few times; some of the bodies my father knew about and others… Well, let’s just say that he didn’t have a need to know.
I took another sip of the bottle in my hand when I heard the key turning in my lock. I watched my door knowing instantly who it was. When he appeared, his face scowled, I knew this wasn’t a business visit.
I turned back to face my dark television and took another swig.
“If you’re coming to search for her, I can save you the trouble. She’s not here. No, I haven’t seen her, and I don’t know where she is.”
My father didn’t reply. I actually had to look around my apartment to find him because he wasn’t making a sound as he moved either. I found my father at my bar, pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He then came and sat across from me, took a few sips, and then looked at me.
“You don’t know where she is. You expect me to believe that?” he asked me.
I shrugged, but I had no verbal reply.
Pops pulled out his cigar and lighter, sparked and puffed a few times before he said to me. “What’s happening with you?”
I sighed and took another swig as I looked over at him, “Who the fuck knows.”
My father shook his head and chuckled. “Brothers…You two are so much alike.”
I frowned, saying, “Eddie and I are nothing alike.”
My father kept a cold gaze on me and said, “I’m not talking about Eddie. Just because Lincoln didn’t come from my own loins doesn’t mean that I don’t think of him as my son.”
“When he was young, his mother would call me, asking what she needed to do to handle her youngest. She would always say how he was tough to deal with, always fighting, hot-headed. Shit, some of the things Lincoln did as a kid reminded me of how I was at his age. She knew Lincoln was going to become someone they couldn’t handle. I knew her husband hated when she called me, especially when the advice I gave her worked. There was no changing the inevitable; Lincoln was just a different breed. That’s why he ended up the way that he did, and that’s what brought him to my doorstep.”
“So, why did you turn your back on him?”
“I didn’t turn my back on him,” Pops boomed. “I have three sons and one of them fucked up bad. If I can’t show leniency with my own family, how the hell do you justify me showing the same to an outsider?”
Pops took the last of his whiskey and I stood, grabbing his glass to pour him more. When I returned, handing him the glass, he said to me, “You don’t understand my decision, and I’m not here to explain it to you. What I want to know, and what I have been trying to understand for months, is the hatred you have for Eddie.”
I grunted and took the last of the Scotch, “You’d have to go back pretty far to understand where it comes from.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Pops, Eddie and I haven’t been on the level of loving brothers since I was fourteen. That’s how deep the betrayal goes. Now, don’t ask me why he despised me back then. Whatever the reason, that’s when I started thinking I had no brother.”
“Succede, Angelo. My brothers and I fought all of the time when we were kids.”
“Yeah, Pops, but when you, Uncle Tony and Uncle Joe had to handle shit in the neighborhood, not once have you ever said you were by yourself or that one of your brothers sought to take you out.”
I let that stay in the air before adding, “I get the whole brotherly squabbles and knocking each other around. But when someone outside of the family threatens your brother, that shit shouldn’t fly.”
“And you’re saying it did? That Eddie didn’t have your back?”
“Pops, I’m saying he’s never had my back. I wouldn’t trust him if he’s standing in front or behind me. I never have. I learned from my mistake once, Pops. I don’t need another lesson.”
“And you think he’s plotting against you?”
Now, here was where I should have told my father everything that was going on. I should have told him about the drugs, the shit with Victor Waters, how Eddie indirectly told me that he was going after the crown and all that. But I wasn’t going to tell my father shit right then. He didn’t do anything when we had proof that Eddie was setting up Lincoln, so nothing would come from me telling him the shit that Eddie was doing now. My father was going to have to see it firsthand.
I said to him, “I don’t know if he is or isn’t, but I’m not going to give him the opportunity to catch me slipping. I don’t have someone out here watching my back anymore, so I have to be extra cautious. I don’t have time to deal with the petty shit, which is why I’ve been going hard. We need that fear evoked back behind our name, Pops. It’s necessary.”
“Yeah, and how are you going to keep the fear in the hearts of everyone and at the same time chase this woman of yours?” Smoke billowed around us as he leaned closer to me. “She’s going to be the death of you if you’re not careful. Your weakness is someone else’s gain.”
“I know!” I replied, trying not to prove my father correct.
“And you have tipped your hand, which is why I said initially that you and Lincoln are alike. The life we lead doesn’t mix with a personal life. Drake had no clue that Georgia would be okay with his lifestyle. We still don’t know since he’s been out of the game, so who’s to say that she will. It is different for you, however. You’re deep in it. How do you think she’s going to respond when she finds out who you are? Knowing that at any point, you could order a hit and kill her father and brother without blinking an eye? How could you live with yourself if she leaves you once she finds out? Hell, could you?”
Damn, that was a good question. I wanted Raquel so much that I didn’t think that maybe her hesitation had to do with who I was in the family. I know she had an idea of what I was capable of, because of her actions at the meeting, but did she understand how far I would go in the name of my family? The rage I felt for her brother the day of the meeting was potent. I could kill him with my bare hands and not lose any sleep. I would get away with it too. Hell, I hadn’t been caught so far, but what if she found out somehow? Would she leave me or turn me in?
I thought of something crucial and asked, “What about mom?”
My father waved me off. “Please, Angelo, you forget your history? Your grandfather was in the game before he died. He ran alongside the Bertucci family, who are still running shit in New York to this day. She knew what to expect. You know your mother is strong-willed and opinionated, but she knew her place. She let me run the family the way I wanted, and I let her run our house the way she wanted. We worked well because she knew her role, she understood. Can you honestly say that Raquel will?”
I didn’t have an answer to that either, so I remained quiet.
He added, “That’s why you need to stick to those that are used to your lifestyle. There’s no second thought with a woman who is from your world. Why don’t you let me set something up?”
Half of me wanted to say, “Yes, hook me up,” but the smarter-half of me screamed, “No!”
I needed to be honest with myself and with my father, so I advised him, “With all due respect, there’s no need. There is no woman out there that would satisfy me. Believe me, I’ve tried to find her. Pops, the only woman that I want and desire is the one insufferable, frustrating, and fucking stubborn as hell woman named Raquel Waters. The same woman that it seems for some reason too many people have been telling me that I can’t have, including her.” I leaned closer to Pops, as I added, “But I’ve tasted the forbidden fruit, Pops, and I want it. It’s all or nothing.”
Chapter Ten
Raquel
Shit, where did I put those big girl panties again?
I looked at his building again. More importantly, I looked at the darkened window of his apartment. I knew he
was home. Don’t ask how I knew. I just know.
I couldn’t seem to get out of my car. This was the second time that I’d been to his place that day, trying to will myself to go to him.
It had been two days since he and I had that blowout in my office. I didn’t want to seclude myself. I actually hoped that he and I could talk about what was happening between us, but I knew how that conversation would end. He would simply dominate the air around me until I suffocated, relented or fought back. I knew I would also end up giving into him, and I knew he wouldn’t fold for me.
I decided to fall off the grid for a few days. I needed this time to get myself together. I needed to get my head on straight and my strength up so I wouldn’t be blinded by this sexy, hot ass, aggressive Italian or my family. I needed to gain some of my self-control back. I needed to put him and others in their places, and I started with my own family.
I no longer worked for my father. The day I walked out was the day that I quit. I hadn’t verbally spoken or seen my father or my brother, and I knew that they were going half out of their minds. I did respond to one of my father’s emails, just telling him that I was alive, but that was it. He asked where I was and if I was still in Philly. However, I didn’t reply. He and my brother probably thought that I was overreacting or being childish, but I didn’t care what anyone thought. It was all about the principle. My father and brother had tried to run my life since I drew my first breath and my mom took her last. I’d felt for a long time that I was living in the shadows of my mom. They wanted me to be something or someone that I wasn’t. The more they pushed, the more I pushed back.
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