by Amy Sparling
"Why does it matter?"
"Because if anyone can make a believer out of you, it's that boy." My first inclination is to object and point out all thing things that make him weird. But I don't, because honestly if anyone is going to make me a believer, I want it to be Raine.
"You have a truck?" Anna's eyes go wide like I had just told her I owned an NFL football team or something. "Yeah," I say, wondering if I should tell her it was a gift. She's wearing a sundress that goes down past her feet and drags behind her as she walks.
"Will you drive us to Raine's?" She asks, clasping her hands together.
"Um," I say, hesitating. No one's been in the truck besides me and Brendan.
"Not many people drive on the island," Pax says. "Which is a good thing, because I'm used to driving on the other side of the road."
Anna smiles. "You'd kill us all." To me she says, "We only have Raine, I mean besides my parents, and he hardly ever drives us around."
"Sure, I'll drive," I say. We're walking the three blocks to the parking lot. From here, I can see it's already packed solid with cars of tourists who want to hang out on The Strand and enjoy the variety of shops it has to offer.
"You make him sound like an asshole," Pax says. "Raine just prefers walking everywhere. It's spookier that way."
"Well I prefer driving," Anna says, scraping her moccasins across the pavement. We reach the Ford and Anna slides her fingers across the blue paint. "Very cool," she says.
Pax goes all gentlemanly on Anna and hops in the backseat, letting her sit in the front. It's weird seeing someone else besides me there, in my seat. Even though I'm the driver now, the driver's seat will always feel borrowed from Brendan. Anna sits where I belong, where I've sat a million times, and I sort of hate seeing her there. If Brendan were here, she'd be in the backseat.
"Where to?" I ask, pulling out of the parking lot and onto Broadway. "Corner of First Street and Post Office," Anna and Pax say together. Even with my limited knowledge of the island, I know where Post Office Street is—it's the rich district.
Anna reaches for the radio, realizes there isn't one and then sits back and bobs her head to an imaginary beat. She keeps saying things like, "This is so cool," and "I never see girls drive trucks."
The corner of Post Office and First has a small lot with a big Victorian house and a little girl running across the grass with a puppy. I park on the side of the road and busy myself with shutting off the engine, removing my key and hooking it onto my belt loop. Then I slip on my flip flops one at a time, trying to take as long as possible so Anna and Pax can get out before me. I don't have to try very hard because Anna bolts out of the truck and yells for Raine. The little girl runs up to Anna and gives her a hug. The puppy barks at their feet, wagging his tail and begging to get some love until Pax finally gives in and swoops him off the ground.
I watch all of this as I climb out of the truck and slowly close the door behind me. I am so totally out of place. What am I doing here? I hardly know these people. My stomach aches. Raine, who had been sitting on the porch swing, comes off the porch and walks toward us.
"Nice ride, Tay," he says. I mumble a thanks, hoping no one heard that stupid nick name he just called me. He sprints across the tiny yard to me and the Ford, stopping at the back tires. "You have like a three inch lift on here? That's so bad ass."
"I have no idea," I say, watching him walk around the front of the truck, checking it out like it's some kind of centerfold Playboy model. "Is this your truck?" he asks, with a look of newfound respect on his face.
"It is now," I say.
"Now?"
"I stole it."
He looks from the truck and back to me. A grin pulls at his lips. "I never know if you're being serious or not.
I shrug. "Neither do I."
"So where are we going?" Anna asks, holding the yelping puppy as it licks her face. "Taylor knows practically nothing of the island, so there's like a million places we could take her." She nods at me, answering my unasked question of, No freaking way is this night all about me. "Just nowhere super scary, even though Taylor is like some kind of hardened war criminal with no fears at all."
Raine's hands delve into his pockets, a place I've realized his hands love to be when he's talking. "I was thinking we could do something normal for once. Like mini golf?"
"Hell yeah!" Pax says. "Finally, something normal."
Anna sighs all dramatically but agrees. No one asks for my opinion. Anna begs to ride there in my truck, but Raine wants to walk. I even do something I'd never imagine myself doing and offer to let Raine drive, but he insists on walking. It's ten blocks away but he tells me some crap about walking being better for your soul.
The mini golf place is on the edge of the beach and it's a hot spot for Friday nights. Raine announces that tonight is his treat, since apparently Pax paid for their Mexican food last week, and he buys us four tickets.
Girls in bikini tops and cut off jean shorts prance around the course with their little golf clubs and high-pitched giggles. One of them runs right past us as we walk up to the counter. Anna's face falls. Maybe she isn't like those girls, with her dress/skinny jeans outfits and such. Maybe that's why she's bothering to be friends with me. I nudge her with my elbow. When she looks at me, I pretend to gag. This makes her smile. Pax's low whistle in the girl's direction wipes the smile away.
"Don't be a pig," I say to him.
"What?" Pax throws his arms up, surrendering. "I didn't do anything."
I nod in the direction of the boobalicous bikini girl. "It's totally rude to whistle at other girls when you are hanging out with two friends who happen to be female."
"Want me to whistle at you too?"
"Do it and I'll hit you."
Raine returns from the counter and hands everyone their ticket, a ball and a golf club. My ball is pink. "I would listen to her, man," he tells Pax. "This chick's not afraid of anything."
The first obstacle is to launch your ball up a ramp, into a giant snake's mouth. If you succeed, his eyes will light up red-and then your ball falls out of a hole in the snake's butt, and rolls toward a little hole in the ground. Anna goes first and begs for a do-over when her ball crashes through the border and into a bush.
As she and Pax scramble around the outskirts of the course looking for her lost ball, I think about what Raine had said. I am afraid of things. Not stupid things like ghosts, but real things. Like not having enough money to eat, or getting murdered by a blood thirsty psycho. Or losing my best friend.
My three new friends seem to think I'm the coolest person on the planet because I'm not worried about the supposed ghosts on the island. Would they still want to be my friend if they knew what I really feared?
The whole night blows by so fast, friends interacting with each other, arguing about do-overs and who has to retrieve a lost ball from the wilderness, keeping score (boys against girls)—I just lose myself in the experience and go along for the ride. And after one block of walking back with tired legs, when I wish I had the truck so I wouldn't have to walk over a million old tree roots that threaten to trip me into oblivion, Raine puts his arm around me and Anna's shoulders and pulls us close. And just like that, Raine was right: walking is way better for my soul.
Chapter 17
"So are you coming on the tour tonight?" Anna asks as if I know what she's talking about. It's been a week since the mini golf experience, and now it's Friday again. I guess she has more plans. I've managed to work three successful night shifts without experiencing a single calamity from the ghost of Mayor Kline's wife, or anyone else for that matter. Still, no matter how much I insist that the only creepy things in the museum are the stupid statue people, no one believes me.
"What tour?" I scoop up a handful of M&Ms from the glass candy jar on Margret's desk, toss my head back and pour them into my mouth.
"Raine's tour tonight. It's been sold out for weeks because he added an extra stop at the train station." Anna's been hanging out at the
museum almost every day since we met, but it seems like every time we talk, she's telling me something new that I don’t know about but she thinks I should. Yesterday it was the annual cockroach festival. Yeah, a festival about cockroaches. Today it's Raine's tour.
"If it's been sold out for weeks then how am I supposed to go?"
"Oh please," she says, joining me in the binging of M&Ms. "Like he'd make you buy a ticket."
"Well I'd feel weird just assuming that and showing up," I say.
"You're not assuming anything, it's a fact. Me and Pax have season tickets and he didn't make us pay for them. If anything, I'd say he likes you." She throws another handful of M&M's in her mouth and stares at me, almost daring me to object.
"Wait, what?"
"Ugh, look at you. Someone likes you and you're totally clueless yet I'm over here practically throwing myself at Pax and he never makes a move." She blows a raspberry with her tongue. "Life sucks."
"Life doesn't suck, Anna." I resist the urge to tell her that she knows nothing about life sucking. She's never gone to bed hungry, or seen drunken men feel up her mom just to give her a few bucks and send her on her way. She dresses like some kind of new age hippie who belongs in a cool part of the country, not the south, but even that wouldn’t get her made fun of as much as being the poorest kid in school. She's never been responsible for killing her best friend. But in the interest of keeping my new friend, I don't say any of this. "Just trust me, your life is great." She rolls her eyes. "And I'm pretty sure Pax likes you too."
"How do you know that?" She stares at me so hard she must be trying to find my soul. "Has he said anything to you?"
"No, but if he didn't like you then he wouldn’t spend so much time with you."
"I don't know. He just hangs out with me because we follow Raine on all his tours."
"But if he didn't like you, he wouldn’t do that."
"Maybe he just thinks we're friends," she says, as if lying to herself like this will make it true. Geez, don't be such a martyr.
"Guys and girls are never just friends," I say, not really knowing if that's true but wanting to make her feel better. But if I say it like I mean it, then she'll believe it. The girl is too small and fragile to get upset.
"Are you sure?" she asks, leaning closer to me so Margret can't hear. "How do you know that?"
"I don't know," I say, scrambling to make sense of it all. Is this what being a normal teenager girl is like? Obsessing over tiny details about the opposite sex? Wait, that's exactly what it's like. I may have never been involved with the cool kids, but I have seen my share of teenage reality shows set on the coast. "Maybe grownups can be just friends, but guys are nothing but hormones. If they hang out with a girl it means they like her… at the very least, it means they want in her pants."
"You're right. You're totally right," she says, the stress leaving her face. "I'm so glad you moved here. I had like no girlfriends before now."
I smile. "I'm glad too," I say, even though I'm not at all happy I'm here. Moving here meant losing my best friend. Sure, I have a new friend – three actually – but they don't even come close to being the kind of friend Brendan was. And here I am, lying to her, telling her random crap about Pax liking her even though I have no idea if he does or not. Life takes away one friend and gives me another, and I lie to her.
Because the truth is, guys and girls can be just friends.
I just wasn't very good at it.
Margret lets me leave work a little early so Anna and I can catch the start of Raine's tour. I have no idea what to expect as Anna leads the way down the strand, talking a mile a minute about ghostly orbs in photos she took last time, but I'm excited just to see Raine again. And I'm embarrassed that I'm so excited. He's just a guy. Just a guy with a dumb wardrobe and a unique job, and a gorgeous haircut and, well, he's just a guy. It's not like he likes me. It's not like any guy would ever like me.
"Everyone meets at the corner of twenty-fifth and Post Office, and the tour kind of takes you in a big circle so we'll end up at the same place," Anna says. I follow the sounds of her bracelets clinging together as we walk through the historic district. I wish I had thought to bring another shirt to change into after work. Jeans and a Railroad Museum of Sterling polo shirt are totally not sexy.
"I hate that I didn't bring extra clothes."
Anna looks me over. "Yeah that's kind of lame. We probably have time to rush back home to your house if you want to change?"
"Can't," I say, trying not to get offended that she didn't at least lie about how lame I look. "My truck didn't start this morning. I think the battery is dead. It would take way too long to walk back."
"Sorry. Raine knows a lot about cars so ask him to fix the battery." Knowing full well that batteries get replaced, not fixed, I nod and tell her thanks for the suggestion.
We arrive at the meeting place about ten minutes before eight. Dozens of people stand around, many with cameras around their necks. I guess I expected maybe ten people, so this startles me. "Told you it was sold out," Anna says, pursing her lips as if she's made some amazing point. She's right, I'm wrong. I get it.
She scopes out Pax from the crowd and rushes up with a little too much eagerness to tell him hello. He holds out his arm and throws it around her in a one armed hug. He looks truly happy to see her. My heart skips a beat. Maybe my lie wasn't totally a lie. He must like her if he's hugging her like that.
We stand around chatting for a while. Well, Anna and Pax delve into their own little world, talking about ghost hunter shows on television and since Mom and I don't have a TV, I don't join in. A girl next to me is about thirteen and looks terrified out of her mind to be here. Her parents are really excited, talking about how last time they went, they swear they saw a ghost on the stairs. When she catches my eye, I smile. "Don’t be scared, this is all just make believe."
For a second, she looks relieved. Then an older woman next to us jabs me in the back with her bony finger. "Excuse me Miss, but you are wrong. Don't be spreading lies like that."
"I'm not lying," I say. "Ghosts aren't real." The woman gives me this look like she's cursing me to suffer a thousand painful deaths. "You'll be sorry for saying that one day."
"Okay, whatever." I look back at the girl whose parents are now staring in shock at my little confrontation. "You can believe crazy people if you want to, but I'm telling you ghosts aren't real." Now her parents are glaring at me too. I look back at Anna for some support, but she looks more terrified than the girl. The old woman cackles at my stupidity before turning back to her friend, who is equally old and creepy looking. I cross my arms and mutter, "Oh please."
Anna steps forward, putting her hand on my shoulder. She offers a look of apology to the girl's parents. "What my friend means to say, is that she doesn't think she believes in ghosts because she's incredibly brave. She actually works the night shift at the railroad museum."
Now there are about ten people staring at me, some young some old, but all of them have the same look on their face. The old woman, who five seconds ago looked as though she wanted me dead, now looks at the logo on my work shirt. "You work the late shift?"
"Yeah." I try to say it all sarcastic like, so she knows she owes me an apology.
"What have you seen?" She demands. She's no longer glaring at me in disgust, so that's a step up I guess.
"I've seen a dusty old museum and some Windex I use to clean the display cases."
"Surely you've seen spiritual activity."
"Nope." I uncross my arms and put my hands on my hips. I wish she would just shut up and turn around so everyone will stop staring at me.
"You poor soul," she says. "You don't believe so they have turned their back on you. So sad."
Raine appears from out of nowhere, wearing his stupid jacket, black jeans and the darkest pair of sunglasses I've ever seen. His shoes make solid slaps on the pavement. "Hello and welcome everyone." Finally, the people turn away from me and look at him. "I'm so glad you've
all come to see the rich history and spiritual presence that exists on Sterling Island. My name is Raine and I'll be your tour guide." He walks toward the head of the crowd, holding a hot pink hole punch. "If everyone can just hold out your tickets, I'll come by and punch them, then we can begin."
The crowd shuffles into a line. Anna, Pax and I move out of their way and end up at the end. It's probably not a big deal, but I feel so weird standing here without a ticket. I'm not the kind of person to ask for something for free. The hole punching sound gets closer and closer, until Raine reaches Anna and takes her ticket. "What's up, guys? I'm glad you came." Punch. "Pax, dude, remind me to tell you what happened on sports radio this morning." Punch.
He gets to me. "I'm sorry, I don't have a ticket, but—"
"It's cool," he says, sliding the hole punch in his back pocket. In a low voice, so no one else can hear, he says, "I wouldn’t make you pay anyhow."
He steps back and projects his voice through the crowd. "Okay everyone, let's begin. First of all, I know a lot of you have questions for me and we'll make time for that at the end of the tour. Photography is allowed, and encouraged. I've seen many photos of this tour that have apparitions in them after they've been developed. If you want me to take a photo of you at one of our stops, just let me know."
A small girl raises her hand. Raine points at her. "Yes, you can take a photo with me, but after the show." She smiles.
We walk as a group to the first stop, an old Victorian house on a corner lot. It's three stories tall, has a wraparound porch and a big fat sign on the door that advertises the place is for sale. Most people, including me, walk up on the porch and peer in the windows. Others stay at a safe distance away on the street.
Raine gazes over everyone as he talks. "We're allowed to go inside this house, but for those of you who'd rather stay outside, you can walk around the back here and meet us in the back yard. A few people walk around the house. Anna, Pax and I follow Raine.