“You saw me a couple of hours ago,” I said as he pulled away, his thumbs gliding over the tops of my hands.
“I always miss you.” He shrugged as if I should already know that. He cocked his head, nodding toward the flowers Matt left for me.
“Secret admirer?” he teased, clearly trying to make light of it, but I could hear the apprehension in his voice. I wasn’t sure if it was jealousy, or if he was worried it was from whoever broke into the house.
“I was going to tell you about it when I got home,” I said, biting my lip. “They’re from Matt. He’s harmless, but just awkward and pushy sometimes.”
Josh frowned when I offered him the card; I didn’t want something like that hanging between us. He waved it off and slid his hand up my forearm and then back down to link our fingers together.
“I trust you.” I could see in his eyes that he did, that he knew what I felt for him was real. “But if he gives you any trouble, I won’t hesitate to kick his ass,” he added, his smile turning a touch mischievous. I suspected he would like a legitimate reason to pummel Matt.
“Noted,” I giggled, leaning in and kissing him this time.
Chapter Twenty-Two
For being a small university, and a club sport, there sure was a large turnout for the rugby game. Taylor dragged me by the hand, zigzagging through the gaggle of mostly drunk rugby fans.
“Guys, wait, I can’t keep up in these damn heels,” Laney yelled, and I pulled on Taylor to slow her down so Laney could catch up. Taylor had offered to cover up the scrapes and bruises on Laney’s face with some full coverage makeup, but she’d adamantly declined and had gone all out in a tight dress that showed off all of her voluptuous curves. Taylor whispered to me before we’d left that she thought maybe Laney wanted the bruises to be visible for sympathy, but I hoped that it was just because her face was so sore.
I knew it was sort of her brand, and she looked undeniably stunning, but why on earth she decided to wear five-inch royal blue heels to a club rugby game I would never know. Taylor had dressed to impress as well, but she’d been more sensible with her shoe choice of low heeled black booties. I felt underdressed next to them in my trainers, dark grey athletic leggings, and a black and grey hooded sweatshirt. But that was my brand, so why change it now that Josh was around? We were getting stares as we passed by, and even over the rumble of people talking, I could hear some of the whispers about the break-in and Laney’s injuries. Laney didn’t seem deterred, she didn’t shy away or try to cover her face, and I admired her for that.
I was really hoping tonight would help lift her spirits from the break-in. When she wasn’t happy, everyone knew, and a black cloud would descend on anyone near her. Laney felt everything hard. Love, hate, and especially jealousy and loneliness. I didn’t think she had necessarily intended to react in a jealous rage with Nick, but I didn’t see how she could expect him to hang around when she did things like that.
When Josh and I got home from the gym earlier, Laney was in a terrible mood. Her parents had come to the house against her wishes to check on us. Her dad was still concerned about the break-in, and rightly so, but the fact that he cared so much seemed just to irritate Laney, resulting in a screaming fight between her and her mother. Taylor and I walked them through the house and pointed out all the new window locks, as well as the new deadbolts Jeff installed on the front door, which seemed to ease their worries. The awkwardness when Laney’s parents left and she refused to say goodbye to them nearly swallowed me whole. She’d never understand how lucky she was to have two caring parents, and that was almost as sad as knowing I’d never have them, either. I knew Taylor felt it too because she accompanied me out to their car and saw them off.
“Look, there’s Jeff.” Laney pointed to a group of people right by the edge of the field. It didn’t escape me that Jeff’s eyes lingered on Taylor just a touch too long as he greeted us.
“Hey, creep,” Taylor teased, bumping into him playfully and then turning her attention to the field.
Jeff shrugged and smirked at her. “Hey, sunshine,” he said, but the sarcastic nickname he had for her somehow lost its bite over the last few days. He cocked his head toward me, giving me a once over. “I hope you didn’t get all dressed up on my account.” He smiled, mischief dancing in his dark brown eyes as he looked from Laney, then to Taylor, and finally back to me.
“Yeah, I searched my closet high and low for my sexiest hoodie and sneaker combo.” I rolled my eyes, but I returned his smile. I liked the banter I had with Jeff. I felt safe with him, especially because Josh was a barrier I knew Jeff would never cross by actually flirting with me. I think that’s why I always kept Matt at arm’s length; I never wanted to give him the impression that there could be something more between us. I definitely didn’t have to worry about that ever crossing Jeff’s mind. Even if Jeff was rough around the edges, he was loyal—I could see that by how he treated Josh, Taylor, and myself. He even managed to mostly be patient with Laney, which I knew first hand could be a challenge.
“Healin’ up nice,” Jeff said to Laney, and the way he chewed his gum extra quickly told me he was nervous she was going to have another meltdown. Jeff struck me as the type of guy who didn’t do well with crying or emotions.
“Thanks,” Laney beamed as she laid a blanket down for all of us to sit on. She patted the spot next to her, encouraging Jeff to sit. I could sense the apprehension in Jeff’s awkward stance before he finally went with it and sat down next to her. I let Taylor slide past me to sit on the other side of Laney. I continued standing, looking across the field at the group of rugby players huddled up. I noticed Nick right away, and I was sure Laney had as well. I just hoped seeing him wouldn’t make her mood plummet.
“You want some?” Jeff asked the group in general, holding up a few water bottles, but I didn’t get a chance to investigate if he was offering us water or vodka because I turned when someone tapped me on the shoulder.
“How are you feeling?” Matt asked as he pulled me to him, hugging me tightly before I could protest. The hug was awkward and cold, nothing like when Josh enveloped me in his arms.
I half-heartedly hugged him back before I pulled away from him and put space between us. I felt unusually uncomfortable, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of my newly intimate relationship with Josh or because I still had my guard up.
“Did you get the flowers? I’ve been so worried about you. I tried to call, but none of you would answer.” His blue eyes appraised me and glanced briefly toward where Taylor and Laney sat. I instantly knew when he recognized Jeff. “He’s sitting with you?” Matt’s hands went to my shoulders, his hall monitor voice in full effect. His fingers pressed into my shoulders but faltered, his hold on me becoming limp. It felt like an imitation, like he was trying to be the dominant, alpha guy he thought girls wanted, but instead, it came across as a fabrication and was mildly annoying.
“The police took my phone, and Taylor’s is still missing,” I said quickly, glossing over the details. “But Jeff is Josh’s cousin. And he’s really helped us a lot with everything over the last few days.” I bit my lip, not wanting to upset Matt, but I also needed to let him know that things had changed between Josh and me. He was my friend and I felt like I owed him that much, especially because I felt like hiding it would only hurt his feelings. “The flowers were lovely. I really appreciate the gesture and…” I tried to get the words out, but Matt cut me off.
“Do you even know Josh?” Matt’s tone was accusatory, and I knew him well enough to realize that it meant he was about to lecture me. He didn’t let go of my shoulders, but his suspicious eyes that narrowed on Jeff faded to a look of confusion when they settled on me. When I didn’t respond, he tried to change the subject, keeping his arm around me to steer me away from the blanket as he spoke. “Have they figured out who tried to break in? Because I have some theories…”
I opened my mouth to speak, but there was a loud gasp from spectators in front of us, causing us to jer
k our attention to the side of the field. There stood Josh, having just jumped over the fencing, decked out in his rugby uniform. His eyes weren’t on me but were instead locked on Matt. The soft, loving expression he had when he visited me at work today was replaced by one of absolute venom.
“Get your hands off her,” Josh snarled. Matt complied immediately and even took a step away from me.
“I was just checking on her. Her house was broken into, you know.” The condescension in Matt’s tone made me cringe. Not only did he sound indignant, but he also knew that Josh had been at my house since the attack. I glanced over at Josh, and it looked like his patience was hanging by one bare thread.
“Don’t ever touch her again.” I flinched at the tone Josh used, and my emotions were all over the place. Part of me wanted to tell him to calm down, that I could take care of myself and that Matt wasn’t a threat to our relationship. But another part, the part of me that melted in his arms this morning, was absolutely enthralled that he cared so much about me. “I don’t want to have a problem with you, man.” Josh’s tone softened slightly, but his stance was still defensive. “But I will fuck up anyone who makes her uncomfortable.”
“Duly noted.” Matt held his hands up in defense.
“Travin, get your ass back on the field!” one of his teammates yelled. Josh hopped over the fence but turned back to me with an expectancy in his eyes. I moved away from Matt and leaned over the metal chain link, reaching up to cup Josh’s face in my hands and pressing my lips against his. There was a shocked gasp from Matt, and I assumed it was because this was the first time I’d ever publicly displayed any sort of romantic affection since I’d been at Kensington.
“Aww,” Jeff teased, and I laughed, pulling away and ending the kiss. I realized that the soft side of Josh I’d seen over the last couple of days was something most people didn’t get to be a part of. I felt my face flush with embarrassment, but instead of shrinking away and hiding from the curious eyes on us, I smiled at him so fiercely that my cheeks hurt.
“I missed you,” Josh whispered against my mouth, and even though it had only been a few hours since I’d seen him last, I felt my face flush and my heart flutter, but I tried to keep the nervous energy from bubbling up out of my stomach. There was something about him that excited me in a way that nothing else ever had.
“I know,” I said with a smirk, thinking back to the way he’d tickled me until I apologized for teasing him last night. He seemed to enjoy the light banter then, but he clearly wasn’t in the same playful headspace as last night and the gleam in his eyes told me he would hold up the game the entire night if he had to.
“Say it,” he demanded, gently circling his fingers around my wrist and bringing my knuckles up to his lips. It was stark how large his hand seemed in comparison to mine.
“I missed you,” I repeated his sentiment, and by the way his eyes softened and he bit his lip, I knew that’s what he’d wanted to hear.
As quickly as he appeared, he reached behind him and grabbed something that must have been tucked in the back of his uniform and pressed it into my hands. One more kiss against my surprised lips, and he jogged back across the field toward his teammates. I shook out the balled up jersey, and my chest constricted when I saw his last name and the number ten stitched on the back. It was entirely too big for me, but I wanted to wear it, and I wanted to see his face when he saw me in it.
“What the hell is going on, Addison?” Matt’s voice had gone up an octave, and he wasn’t scolding me so much as having a borderline temper tantrum. “You can’t stand guys like that. He’s a controlling asshole. And what…” he gestured toward the baby blue and white jersey in my hands, “…you’re just going to wear that? You do realize what he’s doing, right? He’s plastering his name across your back to show every other guy that you’re off limits, you’re his.” Matt’s pale nostrils flared out, and I wasn’t sure if the redness surrounding his nose was because he was pissed off or because he was cold.
“That’s not what he’s doing,” I lied. That was exactly what Josh was doing, and I wasn’t so naive that I didn’t see that.
I didn’t understand why I felt this way with him, it was something I’d never experienced, and I liked that he was the only part of my life that I hadn’t cautiously planned out. It felt so natural, and I had such a knee jerk reaction with him that I didn’t think I could fight if I tried. I suspected the reason I didn’t mind Josh’s protectiveness was because he made me feel safe, and I never thought I’d experience that type of relationship because of the way I’d grown up. I’d always had to be self-sufficient, so I didn’t like it when people told me what to do. Matt could attest to that; I’d gotten irritated with him on many occasions because he couldn’t keep his opinions to himself. He thought I was too closed off, didn’t date enough, didn’t get out of my comfort zone. Now here I was, smack dab in the middle of anywhere except my comfort zone, and he still had a problem with it.
“My God, Addison.” Matt ran a hand through his fluffy blonde hair. “You start hanging out with guys like this, and then your house gets broken into, and you don’t see the connection there?”
That made me angry because I knew Matt well enough to know that while he was kind and helpful, he didn’t like it when things didn’t go his way. He wasn’t actually concerned about my safety; he was acting the same way Laney behaved when a guy she’d spent all night flirting with went home with another girl. She’d call the girl a slut, pick apart how she was dressed, the shoes she wore, and the way she did her make up all because Laney felt dejected. If Matt was really concerned, it would have been evident, but instead he just looked haughty and superior.
“Just because you don’t like someone, Matt, doesn’t make them a criminal.” I glared up at him, showing him that I wasn’t some googly-eyed school girl that he apparently thought Josh had rendered me. “Both of them were there for us when Laney got hurt like nobody else was. When the police acted like it wasn’t even a priority, when the doctors released Laney without even letting her fully recover, Josh and Jeff were there. They not only stayed with us, but they secured the house, fixed the broken window, and put better locks on all the doors and windows.” I should have felt bad when Matt’s head hung a little. It was a low blow, and I shouldn’t have said it. It wasn’t like any of us had tried to call Matt that night—we liked him, he was our friend, but he just wasn’t someone you call in an emergency.
“Just be careful,” Matt warned and puffed his lips out in defeat, air whooshing in annoyance.
I smiled at him, hoping we could make amends. I just wanted to be friends, that’s all I’d ever wanted with Matt. “Look, let’s just forget any of this happened. Why don’t you sit with us?” I gestured to the empty space on the blanket next to Taylor, who was leaning across Laney and animatedly speaking to Jeff. He was grinning, clearly amused by her bubbly personality, and if I had to guess she was probably telling him about the graphic novels she loved so much.
“I don’t…” Matt’s hands were in his pockets, and he was so tense that I almost reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. I thought better of it, not wanting him to take the gesture to mean something it surely didn’t.
“Come on. Laney will be mad if you don’t ask her how she's doing.” He laughed quietly because he knew I was right. “And you’ll like Jeff once you get to know him. He’s really funny. He’s irritated by everything, kind of like Taylor,” I added, pulling him over to our blanket.
“Hey Jeff.” I interrupted Taylor with an apologetic grimace. “You remember Matt. Can he switch seats with you? He wants to check in on Laney.”
Matt started to protest but apparently didn’t have the heart to disappoint her once Laney let out a cooing “aww” at his supposed thoughtfulness.
I sat on the end so Jeff could sit between Taylor and me. I couldn’t help but smile at how excited she seemed, telling him everything from how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were her guilty pleasure movies when she was sad, and how
cheese was her favorite thing in the world.
We watched the game. Josh wasn’t playing yet, and neither team had scored any points. Rugby was incredibly confusing, so when Jeff explained the terms and what was going on to me, I paid close attention. I had the feeling there would be a lot of rugby games in my future, and I might as well understand what was happening. When Josh did finally take the field toward the end of the first half, Jeff elbowed me, and when I looked over at him, the amount of pride radiating out of his dark eyes hit me hard.
“Did you teach him how to play?” I didn’t mean to pry, but the question spilled from my lips before I could stop it. I wanted to know everything about Josh, and about Jeff, too. So far, Josh had been frustratingly short with answers, not in a mean or annoyed way, but he just didn’t freely share information.
“Sure did. He’s too good for club rugby.” He shrugged like a proud father.
“Why did he pick this school, then?” I mean, I was thankful he did, or we would have never met or developed this intense connection. And the old me would have been fine with that—if I never met him and I just went through life rescuing my old dogs, I could have died happy. But now that I did know him, now that I knew what this felt like, I couldn’t imagine never feeling this way again.
Jeff tilted his head back, took off his baseball hat and then replaced it, and made a clicking noise with his tongue. If he was trying to act like he wasn’t withholding something from me, he was pretty terrible at it.
“What?” I asked, pulling my leg up to rest my foot under my other leg.
“Eh…” he rubbed his hand over his face like he didn’t know how to start the conversation. “I’m not sayin’ it has anythin’ to do with you. I’m just sayin’ you should ask him.” Jeff leaned over so he could speak more privately and not be overheard by the rest of our group. “I know him better than anyone does, do you believe me?” he asked, and I nodded. “He would do anything for you. So just never forget that.” His eyes were so intense, staring into mine as if he were searching to see if I believed him.
Beautiful Legend: An Angsty College Romance Page 14