Who would have guessed they’d end up falling for each other, when the first few days they hadn’t been able to be in the same room without arguing?
Love worked in mysterious ways.
And with impeccable timing.
They’d wasted so much time and now that she was just about to leave, they’d fallen for each other. What would happen to them now?
They hadn’t talked about it at the cabin or on the way back; they’d only wanted to enjoy those precious moments together, live for the moment and ignore the future, but now they had to discuss things and decide where they would be going from there.
He got off the bed and quickly put on some clothes, determined to speak to her before they went to dinner. He walked out of his room, checked that nobody was around and sneaked to her room.
He knocked lightly on the door, hoping she was still there, and when the door opened and he saw her standing there with her hair freshly done and a shy smile on her face, he couldn’t help taking her face in his hands and kissing her.
She was taken aback at first but she immediately kissed him back, and he pushed her gently inside her room so that they could close the door behind them.
“You shouldn’t really be here,” she said, looking into his eyes and this time finally holding his stare. “What would your family think if they saw us?”
He shrugged, running his fingers through her hair.
“I don’t care, they can think whatever they want. I needed to see you.”
“We need to talk.” She cut him off, just before his lips connected with hers again. He stopped and nodded, taking her hands and brushing them with his thumbs. “We need to talk about how we’re going to act with your family.”
Sean nodded. “Yeah, that’s one of the reasons why I came here. The other one being the need to kiss you.” Alyssa laughed, and Sean placed another soft kiss on her lips before turning serious. “I think we shouldn’t tell them—not until we’ve figured out how to make things work between us. No need to build their hopes up for nothing, especially Tammy’s.”
Alyssa’s face fell, and Sean realized he had probably used the wrong words but, damn, he’d never been good with words and he was so overwhelmed by his feelings for Alyssa that it was a miracle he’d managed to articulate a proper sentence at all.
“So you think what we have is nothing?” She pushed away from his chest, and looked him straight on. Her eyes looked desperate, as if she thought it was already over. “Because when we were at the cabin I thought you’d felt there was more than just attraction between us; maybe I’m the only one who felt it, though.”
Sean hung his head, feeling as if he’d never be able to make this right now. He could feel it in her tone that she was mad at him; all their efforts at getting close had been erased by one stupid sentence and he was sure they’d start fighting again now, just like they had the first days she was here.
“What I meant is this is going to be hard; there’s no point in hiding our heads in the sand and pretending we don’t know it. We’re both adults, and we both know from experience that life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. We have to be aware that things may not work between us, no matter how hard we try. We live six states away from each other, we belong to opposite worlds—we may feel the chemistry now, but once you’re back in your world you may end up feeling this isn’t worth the hassle after all.”
“So you’re giving up on us already?” Her voice trembled and Sean knew she was on the verge of tears. Great; he’d come here to talk to her and tell her how much she meant to him, and he’d turned out to be the bad ogre who broke her heart.
He took a step closer and reached for her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers.
“I’m not giving up, I’m just . . . I’m being realistic. I know how you girls love believing in fairytales and Prince Charming, but we both know life isn’t a fairytale. There’s no point in rushing things and planning a happy ending already; let’s take it one day at a time and see if we can make this work.”
“If we can make this work?”
“You know what I meant,” he said, stifling the urge to roll his eyes. She was starting to get on his nerves now; he was trying to open his heart to her and here she was, turning every word he said into something he hadn’t meant.
“I don’t think I do; you didn’t look as if you were afraid to rush things in the cabin, though. But maybe I’m just being the stupid, dreamy girl who fell for the handsome countryman thinking he was Prince Charming, exactly like my friends who slept with the personal trainer or the dance teacher at the resorts where they went on vacation, right? Just sex, no strings attached. How naïve of me to think it actually meant more to you.”
She pulled her hand free and moved away from him. Her words were like daggers through his heart, and he grabbed her arm, spinning her back.
“Damn, Alyssa, stop being such a pain. You know it was more than just sex to me, just like it was to you. Do you think I’m okay with you leaving in two days? I wish I could lock you up in this room and never let you go back to New York.”
He lifted his hand and brushed a finger across her cheek. He watched her close her eyes and lean into his touch, and his heart filled with love and hurt at the same time.
“I want to make this work, but I have to accept that my wanting it cannot be enough. As much as I want, I can’t give you what you deserve. I’ll never measure up with the guys you used to date; I’ll never be able to offer you anything but my love, and it would be selfish of me to want this kind of life for you just because I know I’ll be heartbroken the moment you leave.”
She opened her eyes, and he saw they sparkled with unshed tears.
“I don’t want you to measure up with anyone because all I need is to feel the way I felt this afternoon, when I was in your arms.” She smiled and took his face in her hands, staring straight into his eyes. “I love you, Sean. I don’t care if it’s too soon to say it or you don’t feel the same. I want you to know I’ll do anything to make this thing work, no matter what it takes. But I need to be sure I won’t be fighting for some kind of unrequited love. I need to know it wasn’t just a pleasant way of entertaining a guest while waiting for the rain to stop.”
Sean rested his forehead against hers and let out a sigh. He knew it was crazy, but it was exactly how he felt too—he’d felt it at the cabin while she was in his arms, and he felt it now, only much stronger.
“I love you, too. I have no idea how it happened or how it’s even possible to fall so fast for someone, but it’s just the way it is.” He pulled back a little, and kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose and finally her lips. “You’re used to living in a dream world where you can always get what you want, but I’ve grown used to the fact that no matter how hard you try, things don’t always go the way you want them to. I try to keep my feet on the ground and face the reality. I’m sorry for being so blunt, but I just didn’t want to delude you.”
“I’d rather be deluded than heartbroken.” She pulled away and he didn’t resist, knowing she needed some space. “You’d better get out now, before someone finds you here. And I have to wash my face if I don’t want your family to wonder why my eyes are red and puffy.”
“You’re beautiful,” he said, smiling, and she made a face.
“You’re an awful liar; don’t play poker.”
He laughed and bent in to kiss her, but she moved away. “Get out,” she said firmly, but still gently. “I don’t want to be late for dinner.”
He nodded and looked at her for a moment, before she opened the door and ushered him out.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Alyssa got out of the shower the following morning, and as she put on body lotion, she remembered Sean’s hands on her skin, and butterflies fluttered around in her belly.
Last night at dinner she’d tried to act as if nothing had happened, but she’d managed to steal a few glances at Sean and he’d either smirked or winked when he was sure nobody was looking.
She wondered how she was ever going to pretend for a whole day that nothing had happened, when she’d barely restrained herself from kissing him when seated across the table.
She needed to see him.
They only had twenty-four hours left and she didn’t want to waste a minute; she needed to stock up on memories with him for when she’d be back in New York.
She got dressed, stopped in the kitchen for a quick breakfast, and fifteen minutes later she was walking toward the barn where she knew she’d find him.
“Morning, Cowboy.”
Sean turned back, and his face lit up when he saw Alyssa smiling warmly at him. She took a step and bent down to place a quick kiss on his lips.
“Don’t worry,” she whispered in his ear, “I double-checked to make sure nobody was around.”
He smiled and took her face in his hands.
“Good to know,” he said with a naughty grin before claiming her lips in a breathtaking kiss. When she pulled back he was staring at her with hooded eyes.
“What?” she asked, feeling a little self-conscious.
He shrugged. “Nothing. I’m just . . . you’re so beautiful, I can’t keep my eyes off you.” She gave him a sheepish smile and turned away.
“What’re you up to today?” he asked, and Alyssa was glad for the change of subject.
“If I help you finish whatever it is you’re doing,” she said, arching an eyebrow, “would you go for a ride with me?”
He looked at her, an amused smile playing on his face.
“What?” she asked, annoyed by his expression. “If I remember well, the last time I went riding by myself you almost bit my head off when you found me.”
“Yeah, I remember that,” Sean said, looking down. “Well, I’d love to go riding with you but . . . I’ve got a lot of things to do today. I can’t leave like that.”
“But we won’t be away long,” she said, whining like a child. “I promise I’ll help you when we come back. Please Sean; I’ll never have the chance to go riding again once I’m back in New York, not in the fields anyway.”
“I understand that, but I have things to do . . .”
“Go on, Son. I can take care of this for a while.”
Sean and Alyssa gave a start when they heard Sean’s father talk behind them.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard Alyssa wants to go for a ride, so you should go with her. We sure don’t want her to get lost on her last day, do we?”
Sean shrugged, pretending he didn’t care. She knew he was trying to act as if going with her would be a real sacrifice, something he didn’t really feel like doing but he’d have to for the sake of their business. He was a much better actor than she was.
“Right, I’ll go. But I need to finish this first, okay?” he asked, looking at Alyssa. She nodded.
“Can I help at all?”
He smiled, shaking his head. “I’m fine. Besides, it’d take twice the time if you helped.”
She pouted and Sean’s father let out a chuckle.
“Go sit on the swing and carry on reading about your vampires until I’m finished here,” he said with a smirk, and Alyssa gave him a glare in return. He’d kept teasing her about it ever since she’d admitted to reading a book for teenagers and about vegetarian vampires on top of it all.
***
Half an hour later, Sean and Alyssa were riding through the fields in silence, both of them knowing this would be their last day together, their last few hours to be with each other before the dream would be over.
When they were far enough from the ranch, Alyssa pulled the reins and stopped. Sean noticed and followed suit, turning to face her.
“You want to stop here?”
Alyssa shrugged and turned the horse around in a circle, looking at the familiar landscape.
“This is where you almost bit my head off, the time I went horse-riding on my own” she said with a slight smirk. He laughed and led the horse closer to her.
“How long are you going to bring that up for, again?” he asked in a sour tone, but with a half-grin. “What should I do now, get on one knee and beg for forgiveness?”
“I guess that wouldn’t hurt,” she said, arching an eyebrow. “Apart from your ego, of course.”
Sean’s arm snaked around her waist so suddenly she didn’t even have time to pull back; a moment later she’d been hoisted up in the air and was sitting sideways on Sean’s horse.
She giggled and looped her arms around his neck, staring into his piercing blue eyes with an impish grin plastered on her face.
“You’re a little rough this morning, Cowboy,” she said, huskily.
Sean smiled. “That I am. Don’t forget you’re dealing with a pigheaded and gruff cowboy here,” he said as he nuzzled her neck. “But I’m sure that’s one of the reasons why you like me, don’t you? Because I’m nothing like those stiff lawyers in Armani suits you’re so used to.”
Alyssa giggled again. “Are you going to kidnap me and ride away with me into the sunset?”
“Mmm . . . maybe.”
“I like that,” Alyssa said, her fingers gently caressing the back of his neck. She felt him squirm lightly on the saddle; good to know he was ticklish—at least she’d have a little advantage if she wanted to get back at him for one of his remarks.
“And I like you,” he said, inches away from her lips.
The warm breath on her face caused her heart to start racing, and she pulled his face closer until her lips met his. The kiss started out slow and gentle, but it quickly turned into a passionate tangle of tongues and lips; when Sean pulled back to catch a breath, he stared at her from under his lashes before placing a soft kiss on the tip of her nose.
“I thought you wanted to go riding?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, a half-smile curling his lips. “We haven’t been out for ten minutes and you’ve already stopped and tried to seduce me.”
“I wanted to be alone with you; riding seemed like a good excuse.” she said with a nonchalant shrug.
“Naughty girl,” Sean said as he started nuzzling her neck. This time she was the one squirming on the saddle at the touch of his warm lips on the soft skin just below her ear. She loved when he kissed that particular spot, and apparently Sean had already understood it.
“I think I’m going to fall off the horse and break my neck if you don’t stop,” she said, feeling a little dizzy. Sean pulled back and looked at her with a mock pout. “But if we get off and sit in that inviting meadow, you can carry on all you like.”
Sean laughed and placed one last kiss on her lips before deftly dismounting. He reached for Alyssa and pulled her off the horse with his hands on her hips. When she was safely on her feet, he took the reins of both horses and secured them around a low branch of a nearby oak tree.
Alyssa spread the blanket Sean had snatched last minute from the swing on the back porch on a patch of soft, green grass in the sun. She sat down and closed her eyes, letting the rays warm her face. She opened them again when two strong arms pulled her against a rock-hard chest.
“Hi,” he said in a low, hoarse tone, when their eyes met.
“Hi yourself.”
He smiled and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear; his fingers trailed along her jaw and she closed her eyes, enjoying these last precious moments with him.
“Don’t fall asleep on me now,” he whispered, his lips brushing her cheek. She giggled and her eyes fluttered open.
“I wasn’t going to fall asleep; not while you keep searing my skin with your touch.”
His eyes twinkled with amusement.
“Do I?” he asked. Alyssa nodded. “Well, then maybe I should stop. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Sean lowered his hand but Alyssa grabbed it and
put it back on her cheek. He smiled.
“Please, don’t stop.”
Sean nodded, and his hand moved from her cheek to the back of her neck. His fingers raked through her hair, and she couldn’t take it any longer. She needed to feel his lips on hers.
She slowly laid back, her hands fisted in his sweater, pulling him down with her. He didn’t offer any resistance and followed her to the ground, supporting his weight on his elbows.
They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, their eyes conveying the feelings words couldn’t express. Alyssa knew at that very moment that this was what love was all about: the incapability of being away from the other for even one minute; the need for the other’s touch and kiss; the simple beauty of just lying on the grass and staring into each other’s eyes as if nothing else mattered.
And right then nothing else really did; it was just the two of them, wrapped up in a bubble where nothing could ever tear them apart. A bomb could go off, the sky could fall, but she wouldn’t even notice as long as Sean kept looking at her like that, as if she were the only woman in the whole world.
She’d had guys paying compliments to her in the past—her grandmother used to say she’d taken the good looks from her Irish side—but she’d never really cared much about it, and had never considered herself anything more than an ordinary-looking girl. Now, though, every time Sean told her she was beautiful, she got a flutter in her chest, and she’d started to really feel beautiful inside and out just from the way he stared at her.
“You’re quiet,” he said, softly rubbing her temples with his thumbs.
“That’s because I’m waiting for you to kiss me,” she said with a naughty smile. Sean let out a chuckle and lowered his face a little, his eyes never leaving hers.
“Well, I didn’t want to seem too eager, ya know?”
Alyssa grabbed his sweater in her fists and gave a light tug.
“Man up, Cowboy. We haven’t got all day.”
Sean laughed out loud, the sound echoing in the silence, and dipped his head, claiming her lips in a breathtaking, toe-curling kiss.
Hold on to Love Page 19