“Ah,” Karlie said, sipping her drink.
Shortly, they were eating breakfast and the only sounds were of the silverware clinking. It was odd sitting at her table with another person since Karlie had sequestered herself after the debacle in Raleigh.
“So,” Bailey said after a few minutes of silence, “want to talk about the other night?”
Karlie shrugged. “What’s there to talk about?” she mumbled.
“Well, there’s the fact that you’re wearing some pretty wrinkled clothing and, I love you, but you smell.”
“I do not!” Karlie straightened in her seat and glared at Bailey who just shrugged.
“Girl, you can’t smell yourself. You’re immune. You’re taking a shower once we finish. But that’s not the important thing. If you’re wearing clothes that look like they’re a week old, it must have been bad.”
“Yeah.” Karlie agreed, her gaze dropping back to her half-eaten food.
“Wow, so much detail. Please, hold some back.”
“There’s not much to say.”
Bailey pinched Karlie’s arm. “Ow!” Karlie cried, rubbing her forearm.
“Don’t be coy.”
Karlie huffed and pushed her hashbrowns around her plate. “Remember that night a few weeks ago where he talked to a girl at the bar and bought her a drink?”
Bailey’s brow furrowed as she thought. “Yeah, vaguely.”
“Remember the conversation I told you about?”
Bailey pursed her lips as she sipped her drink. “About not bein’ too friendly?”
“That’s the one.”
“Okay…” Bailey said slowly. “That still doesn’t tell me anything.”
Karlie sighed as her mind flashed back to the previous week. If she wasn’t careful, her thoughts would be plagued with memories of seeing him with that girl on his lap and the others flirting with him.
“I found Jax with some groupies around him. One was on his lap.”
Bailey’s eyes widened and her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. “On his lap?”
“Yep,” Karlie said, popping the p.
“I take it from our hasty exit the conversation about it didn’t go well.”
“Understatement of the year.” Karlie snorted and shook her head.
“Did you confront him?”
“Yep. Fat lot of good it did me. He just stared, didn’t say a damn thing to me either.” Karlie concentrated on the food that was now cold and congealing on her plate. The little appetite she did have earlier had vanished with this conversation.
Silence descended and it was uncomfortable this time. Karlie’s skin prickled, and she could feel the tension radiating off Bailey’s body, but wasn’t quite sure why.
“Why are you upset?” Karlie asked, glancing at her best friend.
“I pushed you to go out with that fucker.”
A pit opened in Karlie’s stomach at her words. “You didn’t force me to do anything. I’m a grown woman. I chose to go out with someone I wasn’t sure about.”
“But if I hadn’t pushed you—”
“You didn’t make me do anything,” Karlie said, placing her hand over Bailey’s.
Bailey turned her hand over and threaded their fingers together. “You say that, but it doesn’t make me feel better.”
Karlie gave her hand a squeeze. “I know, but it’s the truth.”
Her eyes flitted around the room while Karlie tried to figure out what to say. “So, have you talked to Harry recently?”
“Yeah.” Bailey pulled her hand from Karlie’s and fidgeted with her fork. “Yesterday, actually.”
Karlie licked her lips and cursed herself as soon as she asked her next question. “How is everyone?”
Their eyes met and Bailey gave her a knowing look. “Everyone? You mean Jax, right?”
Karlie averted her eyes and shrugged.
“I’m not sure you want to know the answer.”
“I’m a big girl.”
Karlie looked back at Bailey and saw the troubled look on her face. Her brow wrinkled and she looked serious about whatever she knew. “Just tell me,” Karlie said.
Bailey licked her lips and looked down. “Jax has been taking a different girl home every night.”
Karlie’s mouth opened into an “O” of surprise. “Well, good for him.”
She cleared her throat as her gaze flitted around the room, trying to find something, anything, to concentrate on.
She abruptly stood and grabbed her plate and silverware. She walked to her trashcan and scraped the food into it. After placing everything into the sink, she grabbed Bailey’s stuff and did the same. She then turned the water on hot and got to work scrubbing the plates.
As she worked the sponge over the already clean surface of the plate, Karlie imagined she was scrubbing Jax’s face from her memory.
“Hey,” Bailey said, placing a hand over Karlie’s, stopping her furious cleaning.
Karlie realized at that moment that she had a death-grip on the handle of her sponge and relaxed her fingers. Her hand tingled as the blood rushed back into her fingers.
“I’m fine,” she said, shaking Bailey’s hand from her. “He’s allowed to do whatever he wants. Though, I guess I should say whoever he wants.”
“You’re allowed to be upset.”
Karlie snorted. “I’m not upset.”
“The almost threadbare plate begs to differ.”
Karlie glanced down and sighed, realizing she was still cleaning the same plate. She put it in the dish drain and grabbed the other one, taking more care to not go on a scrubbing spree.
“It just hurts, you know?” Karlie looked into the suds in the sink. “He seemed so serious about giving us a go. He said and did all the right things. I just don’t understand…”
Bailey placed a hand on Karlie’s shoulder, making her jump then relax. “Don’t stress yourself out. Be upset. Eat ice cream and drink chocolate. Don’t let that asshole take anything else from you. You’re worth more than what he made you feel like.”
Karlie clenched her jaw to keep from releasing the sob she felt rising in her throat. Bailey had hit on exactly what was bothering her. Jax treated her like she was nothing, and she didn’t know how to recover from that. She promised herself after Rick that she’d never let another man treat her as less than she deserved. And there she went with Jax, letting him in even though she knew he might not live up to her expectations.
She coughed, releasing a strangled sob. She dropped the dish sponge into the sink and gripped the edge of her counter. She tried to take steady breaths to keep the hysteria she felt bubbling at bay. She concentrated on the bubbly water in the sink, trying to count the bubbles to ward off the creeping hysteria. Two arms wrapped around her. They were slender, not muscled like she was used to at this point, but they were welcome. Bailey hugged her close and let Karlie release the emotion she had warring inside her, never judging or saying a word.
Bailey forced Karlie out of the house the following Monday, telling her “You can’t stay inside forever. It’s summertime and I need my friend.”
Begrudgingly, Karlie went with Bailey to a community pool and hung out, though she wasn’t much fun, especially not once she heard some of the girls talking.
Karlie was lying on her poolside chair when a loud conversation a few chairs over caught her attention.
“Did you see him last night?” 'blonde one' tittered, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
“Oh my God, yes! Those muscles,” 'blonde two' agreed.
“God, when I saw that sweat dripping down his torso, highlighting the tattoos on his chest while he played guitar, I wanted to lick it clean off,” a brunette piped in. “Can you believe Bea hooked up with him last night?”
Karlie felt sick as she listened, certain she knew who they were talking about, but unable to stop listening or move away.
“She’s such a lucky bitch! I haven’t talked to her today. Maybe she and Jax are still together doing the di
rty,” 'blonde one' said.
“Nah, I don’t think so,” the brunette said. “I think he’s a love ‘em and leave ‘em type. I mean, the only person I’ve heard he kept around more than a night is that chick that used to go to all his shows. What was her name? Casey or something?”
Karlie’s cheeks heated when their conversation turned to her. She did not want to be a part of it. She abruptly stood and grabbed her wallet, walking past the girls to the snack bar. As she moved away, she heard one of them ask, “Hey, wasn’t that that chick?”
She breathed a sigh of relief as the screen door clanged behind her. The snack bar was empty, and she walked to the counter to glance at the menu.
“What can I get ya?” a bubbly teenager asked.
“An order of fries and a Coke please.”
“Alrighty. That’ll be $3.50 please.”
Karlie handed her a five and told her to keep the change before settling into one of the hard plastic chairs surrounding the picnic tables in the small dining area. From inside the screened-in snack bar, she could see out and watch the moms with their kids splashing in the water and the gossiping girls without fear of overhearing anything else about herself.
She basked in the anonymity of where she sat and enjoyed the dulled sounds of children screaming. After a few minutes, her fries and Coke were brought out and she slowly munched on her snack while people watching.
The screech of the gate caught her attention and she turned her gaze to the group of people walking in. Her eyes widened and she felt clammy as she caught sight of the guys huddling just inside the fence. It was Jax and Harry’s band, scanning the area looking for something.
Karlie cringed when she saw Bailey waving from across the pool. In horror, she watched as they trooped over to where the two of them were sitting. All the band members were there, which meant her heart ached as she watched Jax follow behind everyone, smiling and nodding to people. The group of girls from earlier were watching him raptly, fluffing their hair and thrusting their chests out.
Once everyone was settled, she groaned as she realized Jax had claimed the chair next to hers, of course. She sat there, nibbling her lip, as she watched a parade of girls strut by where Jax was now sitting. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the spectacle. He took his shirt off and sat down, stretching out on his chair with a ball cap on his head, his hair curling under the edge, and sunglasses shading his eyes.
She couldn’t see his facial expressions, but she could certainly imagine it. She was sure he was smirking and smiling at the girls, flirting with them as they stopped to speak to him. Disgusted, she tossed her trash and pushed through the door. Laser focused, she walked quickly across the sizzling concrete, wishing she’d thought to put her flip-flops on before going to the snack bar, and stopped by her chair, furiously grabbing her towel and folding it before pushing it into the tote bag she'd brought.
“Karlie?” Jax asked.
She ignored him, too focused on her hurt and anger to admit that she wanted to talk to him and hear his voice again. Gooseflesh broke out at the sound of his voice and it took everything in her not to turn to look at him. She gathered the last of her things and slipped her cover-up back on then turned on her heel and started to walk away, but drew up short when a hand stopped her.
Tingles spread where Jax’s hand touched her elbow. She shivered and closed her eyes, relishing in the sensation. Realizing what she was doing, she jerked herself away and turned to look at him. “What?”
“I just want to talk.”
Karlie scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Talk? Please. We both know that’s not your strong suit.”
Jax jerked back like he’d been slapped, and Karlie felt a small frisson of satisfaction knowing she’d hurt him even a little bit.
She turned again to walk away and Jax pleaded, “Please, wait. Don’t leave.”
As she walked away, she said, “Unfortunately, we’re past the time that I care what you think or want.”
With a wave over her shoulder, she kept walking, even when she felt the weight of Jax’s gaze burning into her back.
Chapter Sixteen
Jax
Jax watched Karlie leave the pool and sighed. That definitely hadn’t gone how he'd planned. He couldn’t say what he'd planned, just that he hadn’t anticipated her leaving without talking to him.
He sat back down on his chair and looked to his left, eyeing where Karlie had been sitting. He knew when Harry mentioned he was meeting Bailey at the pool that Karlie would most likely be there as well, which is why he tagged along, though he hadn’t been specifically invited. He wanted to see her. It was odd not talking to her or seeing her.
Though it wasn’t immediate, Jax realized soon after their break up that Karlie was probably one of the best things to happen to him in a while. She was kind and helped him focus on things. Whereas before he might be wondering about what pussy he’d taste after a show, he'd known he would be seeing her and could, instead, concentrate on playing great music.
That initial thrill of being single quickly faded when he realized that all the girls he talked to weren’t Karlie. He compared their bodies, hair, and even their smell to Karlie; every one of them drew up short. There was no comparison.
But he'd screwed up too much and he didn’t know what to do to fix it, if it was even possible to fix at this point.
“Why are you here?” a voice to his left asked.
He glanced that way and stifled the sigh that threatened to escape. Bailey was sitting on Karlie’s vacated chair glaring at him.
“It’s a public pool.”
Bailey snorted and Jax fought the urge to roll his eyes. Antagonizing the best friend of the girl you missed wasn’t the way to go about it.
“It is. But you know what I’m asking. Why are you here?”
Jax didn’t answer for a few moments, trying to figure out how. He finally shrugged and said, “I wanted to see her.”
“And you thought she’d see you?”
Before Jax could say something, Harry walked up. “What are you two discussing?”
Jax clenched his jaw and looked away, unfortunately meeting the gaze of a few girls that had been trying to hook up with him.
“I’m asking your asshole friend why he came when he knew Karlie wouldn’t want to see him.”
Jax slid his eyes over to Harry and Bailey to try and get a read on each of their thoughts. Bailey’s were obvious, but Harry was a bit more reticent. “I’m not taking sides, I’m just going to say that I think there’s more to this than what you know,” Harry said slowly.
“Please, what more is there to know? He slept with some bimbo the night they broke up, and all I’ve heard about is how he’s working his way through groupies again.”
Jax flushed at Bailey’s words. “I’m not working my way through groupies,” he said, turning to face the two of them.
He moved so his feet were planted on the hot concrete and leaned over so his elbows were on his knees. He looked at Bailey with what he hoped was an earnest expression. “I’m serious,” he continued when he saw the dubious look on her face.
“You really expect me to believe that you’re not sleeping with the girls that go around saying you’re ‘showing them a good time in the back?’”
Jax dropped his gaze as he accepted what she was saying. It was messed up and he knew it, he just didn’t know how to stop. He sighed. “Yeah, I do.”
His gaze flickered to Harry, who was looking at him thoughtfully, before turning his full attention to Bailey. He thought that if he could just get her to believe him, maybe she would help him win Karlie back. He was miserable without her.
“This is gonna be good,” Bailey muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. “I can’t wait to hear all about how you’ve been a little choir boy since the break up.”
Jax took a few moments to gather his thoughts before telling her, “While I might have started out trying to sleep with different girls, I soon realized I couldn’t.”
Bailey’s nose wrinkled and he felt ashamed for how he'd acted right after he and Karlie broke up. He pushed on. “It’s shitty, I know. But I don’t know any better. Karlie is the first woman I want to be better for.”
Bailey scoffed and shook her head. “Wow, that’s great for you. I’m glad you’ve realized this, but that doesn’t tell me shit.”
Jax’s nostrils flared as annoyance settled in. He shot Harry a look and saw that he was looking away from them, not bothered by their conversation. He wouldn’t be any help, that was obvious.
Jax plowed on. “I haven’t slept with anyone since Karlie. I tried, God, have I tried. But I just don’t want to. So, I find a girl, talk her up, buy her a drink or two, and take her to the back where we just talk. After a while, she leaves and I go home. That’s all there is to it.”
Bailey’s mouth opened a few times, but no sound escaped. His mouth thinned as he waited for whatever sharp words were sure to be released.
“You expect me to believe that you just take women into the back of wherever you are and talk to them? And they just tell people that you slept together without you actually doing it?”
Jax shrugged. “I mean, yeah? You could find a few if you want.”
“Why in the hell would they lie for you?”
Jax regarded her. “Do you want to be known as the girl Jax turned down?”
“You’re a tool, bro,” Harry said, facing him again. “Talking about yourself in the third person? I didn’t think you were that bad.”
“You know what I mean,” Jax said, waving his hand. “A lot of girls like the idea of being with a bad boy. I used to not turn any pussy away until I met Karlie. I thought I’d go back to it, but I can’t bear to think of doing that.”
“Huh,” Bailey said, relaxing her posture and leaning back onto the chair. “I’m a bit impressed, even if I still don’t believe you.”
Jax sighed in frustration. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to recover from the clusterfuck that was the other night when that girl was on his lap, but he didn’t think it’d be this bad.
Jax (Southern Sands Book 1) Page 13