Karlie laughed, which helped release some of the tension in her shoulders.
“What’s confusing you?” he asked, squeezing her hand gently.
“Everything? Can that be the answer?”
“It can be whatever you want it to be,” he said.
She blew out a breath. “I think I just don’t know what to think or how to feel. I was so angry with you when we broke up.”
Jax interrupted. “I know you were. You have no idea how sorry I am about that whole situation. I should have taken your feelings into consideration and I didn’t. I was such an asshole about everything.”
Karlie drew in a shaky breath. “Wow, okay, thanks for apologizing. I didn’t think you knew how I felt afterwards.”
Jax dropped his gaze. “Harry might have filled me in on your past relationship with Rick.”
Karlie’s eyebrows rose to her hairline. “Oh?”
Jax looked at her sheepishly, shrugging one shoulder. “Yeah. He mentioned what happened with him and I realized pretty quick why you were so bothered by the women around me. I promise, I won’t do something like that ever again.”
She smiled briefly, appreciating what he was saying. “You were saying?” he prompted.
“Oh, yeah. I was just saying I was so angry because I thought you didn’t get it; didn’t get me. Then, when I heard about the girls…” She trailed off, looking at him through her lashes.
Jax winced and pulled his hand from hers to drag it through his hair. “I’m not proud of all that.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, already having a good idea of what he would say. She just wanted to hear him admit it.
“I should have never tried to do anything with any of those girls. It’s trashy and it made me trashy because of it. Even though nothing happened, it didn’t look good and, if anything, I’m sure just upset you further.”
“Wow, who are you and what have you done with Jax?” she joked, chuckling. It was so weird hearing him validate everything that had been bugging her.
Jax joined her in laughing but quickly sobered. “Harry and my mom had a lot to say to me about everything. Each in their own way, contributed to me getting my head out of my ass.”
Karlie nodded. “I’m glad. You’re right, I heard about the other girls and was so…hurt that you’d moved on so quickly when I was still struggling to get from one day to the next.”
“Honestly, I knew as soon as I tried anything with the girls that I wouldn’t be able to go forward. I kept thinking about you. It felt like I was cheating even looking at another girl.”
Karlie raised a brow. “Really? Cheating?”
Jax nodded as pink stained his cheeks. “Yeah, I didn’t want to admit it to myself either. I swore to Harry and my mom that you were just another chick to me and set out to prove it. Instead, I just proved to myself that you’re it for me.”
Karlie’s eyes widened at his admission, and she dropped her gaze to her hands, studying the chipped nail polish on her nails. She glanced at Jax from the corner of her eyes and noticed his cheeks were still stained red and that he sat hunched over. Everything about him screamed he was uncomfortable, but he was baring it all for her. She found it incredibly sweet that he was able to do so.
“I’m not so angry now,” she confessed in a rush, bringing her gaze back to him.
He looked up at her and she shrugged. “I mean, I was at first. I dreamed about finding you and attacking you or whatever. I couldn’t hear music or do anything that made me think of you because I’d get angry again.”
“What changed?”
She snorted. “Bailey essentially told me to pull my head out of my ass. That I was allowed to be weepy or whatever, but I needed to live my life. That was the day I overheard those girls talking about how you weren’t actually sleeping with anyone.”
Jax smirked. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah. I overheard them in Common Ground. I called Bailey as soon as I was in my car, but she refused to tell me anything. Said I had to woman up and find out myself.”
Jax shot a full-blown grin her way, obviously pleased with what she was saying. “And that’s how you ended up at the show?”
“Well, kinda.” She looked down at her coffee. “I wasn’t super open to going at all. But, again, Bailey, told me to ‘shit or get off the pot.’”
Jax sputtered as she said the last part of the sentence. “Should I have waited for you to swallow to say that last part?” she asked, giggling as she handed him some napkins.
“Yeah, I think that might have helped some.”
He dabbed at his shirt which was now sporting a few spatters of coffee.
She laughed. “I’m sorry! It’s not funny, but it is.”
She helped him mop up the liquid that landed on the table top. “You were saying?” he said.
She furrowed her brow in confusion before realizing what he was asking. “Oh, yeah. I was just saying that I saw your show written on my calendar and I realized I wasn’t as angry anymore. I just missed you.”
She smiled at him and he returned it. He reached back over and clasped her hand in his.
“So…” he said.
“So…” she returned.
They looked at each other. Karlie wasn't sure who moved first, but the next thing she knew, she was in Jax’s lap, straddling his legs, as his hands roamed her upper body while they kissed. The kiss was sloppy, all teeth and tongues. Karlie felt like she couldn’t get enough of him as Jax threaded his fingers through her hair and held her in place while he mauled her mouth.
She felt the hard length of him pressed against the juncture of her thighs, and she rubbed against him, moaning low in her throat at the delicious friction it created. She ripped her mouth from his and panted, looking at his half-lidded eyes.
“You have no idea how much I want to do this,” she said, grinding onto him, making his head drop back while he moaned. “But, I think we should ease into this again, if that’s what you want.”
Jax brought his head back up and looked at her. He sighed. “I do want us to try again. If you want to take it slow, we’ll take it slow.”
“Yeah?” she asked, moving her lips to a few centimeters from his.
“Yeah,” he whispered, closing the last bit of distance to kiss her.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Karlie
“So, what do you want to do today?” Karlie asked, sliding from Jax’s lap and back into her own chair.
Jax shifted in his seat as he shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me. Whatever you want.”
“That is the problem with small towns, huh?” Karlie asked, laughing nervously. “What is there to do that isn’t tractor pulling or muddin’?”
Jax smiled. “I’m sure we can think of something that doesn’t involve either of those things.”
Karlie nibbled her lip as she glanced back down at her coffee. “Honestly, I was planning to stick around the house today. I have a few things I need to get done.”
“I don’t mind helpin’.”
Karlie shot Jax a dubious look. “You might want to be sure what I need done before you go offerin’ your services.”
Jax cocked a brow at her. “It can’t be that bad.”
Karlie snorted. “Well, the yard needs mowin’ and I need to pull some weeds.”
He nodded. “All right, where’s your mower?”
“You’re serious?” she asked, shocked. What guy would willingly mow your yard?
“Serious as a heart attack. Or one of those church men when they see those seven layer fudge cakes at the silent auction.” Jax grinned and she couldn’t help matching it.
Karlie laughed and shook her head. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. My mower is in the little shed out back. I’m just going to change real quick.”
She walked into the kitchen and dumped her tepid coffee in the sink before going back to her room. She heard the sound of the back screen door slapping shut and giggled to herself as she thought about the discovery awaiting Jax.
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She quickly pulled some older clothes on and slipped into the shoes she reserved for yard work. As she pushed through her back door into her tiny backyard, she heard Jax cursing.
“Jesus Christ, how can you find anything in here?” he muttered to himself.
“Need help?” she asked.
“I’ve got it.”
She heard a few clanks and bangs from the shed and bit her lip to stop the laughter bubbling up as she patiently waited for him to pull the mower out. A few moments later, he gave an “Ah ha!” and pulled the tiny push mower out behind him. She looked at his face and coughed to stop the smile that threatened to escape. His brow was furrowed and he looked confused as he looked at her mower.
“This is it?” he asked dubiously.
“Yep.”
“How does it work?”
She snorted. “I think that’s pretty obvious. You push it.”
“But…that doesn’t explain anything.” Jax crouched next to it and touched the blade assembly.
Karlie stifled her laughter. What she hadn’t told Jax was she was cheap with her lawn implements and because she didn’t want to waste the money on gas for a mower, she spent about twenty bucks on a human powered mower. Got the job done, even if it required a bit more elbow grease.
“Here, let me show you. It rolls this way and you just push.” She gave the mower a push and cut a small swath in the ankle high grass. “Easy peasy.”
He blinked at her. “This is what you were referring to inside, weren’t you?”
She shrugged and smiled. “I did try to warn you.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Yes, you did.”
He sighed and took her place behind the mower. It looked comically small next to him. It barely reached his hips, so he had to hunch over. She patted her back pocket and felt her phone. That was good; she wanted to take a picture to remember this by.
Jax leaned down and pecked her on the lips before pushing the mower and starting his job. She darted into the shed and gathered a few garden implements to help her get the weeds that were threatening the flowers in her flower bed.
She didn’t have a green thumb by any means, but she did enjoy planting perennials each year and cultivating them. She didn’t plant anything too hard to take care of, like roses, and she tried to stay on top of everything in the summer. She started weeding and kept stealing glances at Jax. He seemed to struggle a bit on the first few passes with figuring out how to turn the mower and keep his momentum. She could attest to how difficult it was to keep going in certain rough spots.
As she watched, Jax reached behind his head and pulled his shirt off. Her mouth dried and her chin dropped as she took in his gleaming torso. He’d only been working for a little bit, but it was North Carolina and it was hot as hell outside, so sweat was already dripping from his torso.
When he turned where she was, he flung his shirt at her, laughing when it slapped her in the face. She screeched and tossed it away, furiously wiping at her face to get the sweat that clung to it off. She shook her head and turned back to her task at hand. She settled into a rhythm, and before she knew it, Jax was putting the mower up and she was tossing the weeds into the small compost pile she had near the tree line.
“Water?” she asked, setting her gardening tools back in the shed.
“Yes, please,” he panted, leaning against the shed while she shut and locked it.
They tromped inside and Karlie filled two large glasses with ice-cold water from her fridge. They both greedily sucked it down.
“Wow, I didn’t realize how hot it was until I came inside.” She poured a little more water into her glass.
She held the pitcher up toward him, asking if he wanted more. He nodded and held his glass out. She poured him another glass-full and placed the pitcher back in the fridge, then leaned against the counter and pressed the cold glass to her forehead.
“That sun definitely sneaks up on you,” Jax agreed, drinking from his glass. “You have anything else that needs to be done?”
She shook her head. “Not outside at least. You mowing saved me quite a bit of time, so thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome. I didn’t mind doing it. Besides, I know you enjoyed ogling my sweaty body.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I can’t complain about that.”
Jax drained the last of his water and placed the glass in the sink. “What do you say we get cleaned up and I take you to lunch somewhere.”
Karlie nodded. “I’d like that.”
“I’ll run home and shower real quick and come back for you. Say, forty-five minutes?”
“Yep, sounds good.”
Jax grabbed her hand and tugged her to him, placing his hands on her hips. She still had a partially full glass in her hands, so she carefully set it on the counter behind him before wrapping her arms around his neck, not caring that they were both sweaty messes. He leaned down and brushed his nose against hers, looking into her eyes the entire time. It was an intense stare and one she’d never seen from Jax before. If his words hadn’t convinced her earlier that he was serious, the way he was looking at her certainly would have.
He tilted her head toward him and pressed his lips against hers, still staring into her eyes. Her eyes fluttered closed, breaking the connection. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed closer to him, reveling in the feel of his body against hers, even if he was a bit sweaty. It had been so long since they’d been together intimately, and she keenly felt it.
She wanted to pull him down the hall and to her room, stripping him of the rest of his clothes before having her dirty way with him. But she also knew it was a bit too soon. Their emotions were still too raw.
With that in mind, she regretfully pulled back and opened her eyes. Jax was still looking at her intently. It was almost like he was trying to tell her something, but didn’t have the words.
She cleared her throat, trying to dispel the tension radiating between them. “Forty-five minutes?” she asked.
He released her, and she stepped back. “Yeah, I’ll see you then.”
With that, he was gone, leaving her standing in her kitchen, turning the events of the morning over in her head. As she got ready, she pondered the two instances where things seemed to be approaching the point of no return physically. Even though they were together again, she thought she’d feel residual anger or something about everything that happened.
Instead, she just felt, dare she say it, happy. It was an odd feeling, to say the least.
A knock jerked her from her thoughts as she slid into her shoes. She grabbed her purse and rushed to the door, smiling when she opened it to see Jax standing there looking much like he had earlier in a different pair of ripped jeans and t-shirt, but those same boots. He looked divine.
“Ready?” he asked.
She nodded and stepped out, locking the door behind her.
He grabbed her hand as they walked down the front walk and then opened the car door for her. The entire ride to “the best pizza in Gunner Falls” was spent holding hands and sneaking glances at each other. Karlie wasn’t sure what it was about this particular date, but it felt different. There wasn’t any pressure like their first date, and she didn’t feel self-conscious like she had at some of his shows. It was…nice.
Once parked, Jax helped her from the car and they walked hand-in-hand to the little hole in the wall pizza joint called Dough Boys. They sold pizza by the slice—only cheese or pepperoni— or a whole pizza with any topping you wanted. They even did calzones. Karlie had no idea what anything but their pizza tasted like. She always ordered a slice of cheese
They placed their order, grabbed something from the fountain, and settled into a table.
“So, we have another show tonight,” Jax said, his leg jiggling as he looked at her from beneath his lashes.
Though they were on opposite sides of the booth, she could feel the bounce. It was shaking the entire table.
“Yeah?” she asked, sipping her drink.
He nodded. “Yeah. You want to come?”
She realized the source of his sudden nerves. “Are you sure you want me there? Might put a crimp in your style.”
She winced as the words left her mouth. She meant to be flirty and joking, instead, she came across as defensive. “Sorry,” she said immediately. “I didn’t mean that how it came out.”
“It’s cool.” Jax looked away from her and sighed.
She could see the hurt on his face. She touched his hand and drew his attention back to her. “Seriously, I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me. I tried to make a joke and I’m obviously not good at it. I would love to go.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said as their order was called.
Karlie watched him walk to the counter and chat with the guy handing him their slices. Even though he was laughing, and obviously joking with the other guy, Jax’s shoulders were tense and she knew she was the cause of that.
She felt like a heel as Jax came back to the table and set the tray between them. “Jax, I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s fine. I deserve whatever you say to me.”
Karlie sighed and realized he wasn’t going to listen to whatever she had to say. So, she decided to take action. She stood and moved to his side, pushing him so that he’d slide over. He watched her warily as she sat beside him. She turned her body so she could see him and grabbed his hand. “I want to be with you. I want to go to your shows. I want all that. I’m sorry that I let an old insecurity color my words. I’ve ruined what’s been a great day. If I could take my words back, I would.”
She leaned forward and leaned her head against his shoulder, willing him to believe her. His fingers ran through her hair and she sagged in relief.
“I believe you,” he whispered. She lifted her head and looked at him with a bit of skepticism. “Really,” he insisted. He leaned down and kissed her lightly. “Now, get back to your side so we can eat,” he said, pushing her lightly. She laughed, slid out and back over to her side.
Jax (Southern Sands Book 1) Page 17