“Cole.” Smiling warmly, she held out both hands as she approached him. He grasped them both, planting kisses on them, and continuing to hold them after lowering them from his lips.
“Hello, my dear. I am in dire need of some companionship tomorrow night to go to dinner in the French Quarter and listen to some excellent music with me. I wondered if you would consider indulging me with your company?”
Her bright smile broadened.
“This music is completely different from what we heard at the opera, but I think you will enjoy it. What do you say? You haven’t heard it have you?”
She gave him look of mock exasperation, knowing he already knew the answer to the question.
“I am sorry for the short notice. Will you come?”
Again, that boyish hopefulness in his face tugged at her heartstrings. How could I think ill of this man? He wears his feelings for me on his sleeve.
The air was pregnant with anticipation as she paused, and he waited.
“Why, yes, Cole. I believe I would. Thank you for thinking of me.” Her tone was playful, and her eyes twinkled with merriment. Cole smiled back at her, relieved she had agreed to go with him. Maybe I am making progress after all.
The next night when Cole called for her, she looked radiant in an emerald green gown. His open-mouthed gawk as she descended the stairs erased any hint of sophistication from this dashing gent. Was it the same one she had worn on the ship that night of dinner and dancing? If so, it held special memories, and he hoped it would bring the same type of evening tonight.
“Ah, Darcy, the beautiful queen of my heart. You look so splendid. I am almost afraid to take you out in public for fear someone might try to steal you away. I am so very proud to be seen with you, my dear. Do you know we are turning heads and creating talk about town?”
“No, what are they saying?” She giggled. The mischievous twinkle in her eye showed him she was intrigued to be the topic of conversation.
“Oh, so you think that is pretty funny, huh?” he teased as he helped her with her wrap. “Well, I am not going to tell you. I will save that treat for you until later.”
She laughed a beautiful laugh, which had been locked deep inside her for far too long.
“With Edgar gone, I didn’t think I qualified as fodder for a gossip mill.”
“Oh, you are. And I am the envy of every male, married or single, within a fifty mile radius.”
With a happy chuckle, she tucked her arm into his, giving it a little squeeze as she did. Then they headed off for another excursion into the world of previously denied joys. Proud and happy, Cole was grateful to be her most capable guide.
The fragrant scent of her skin and hair wafted up to him on the night air, and he thought he would lose all control. His head was spinning with the nearness of her, yet knowing he had to proceed with caution, he fought with himself to suppress his carnal urges.
She was like a wild creature he was attempting to tame, and he did not want to scare her off by making the wrong move, or moving too fast. He had seen how quickly she could switch into flight mode and skitter away like a sandpiper on the beach, but it was getting harder and harder to restrain his physical desires for her. Oh, how he looked forward to the day when she would be the one to satisfy his overwhelming need for her. Until then, he would bide his time until her hurts and distrust eventually gave way to willingness and desire of her own.
That night they dined at Antoine’s on a marvelous étouffée, drank bottles of champagne, and ate crème brûlée for dessert. When she proclaimed she could not hold another bite of food or sip of bubbly, Cole put her arm through the crook in his and guided her out into the street. The infectious, unusual beat of the music from Bourbon Street floated to where they stood. Darcy’s eyes sparkled with fascination, and her face glowed with the flush of champagne and the dew of perspiration from the tropical night. Their feet automatically headed toward the sounds, and once again, Cole was delighted to find his choice of entertainment pleased her so greatly.
Highlights in Darcy’s hair glistened gold, bronze, and copper under the light of the street lamps, and her face looked much younger when she was all smiles. He was like a proud parent watching his beloved child take her first step. She greeted every new experience that others took for granted, with such exuberance, it made Cole both humble and honored to be the one to finally introduce these joys to her.
Together they were special moments and treasured memories, which he hoped he and Darcy would reminisce about in the years to come. No matter what the future held, he would always have the unmatched thrill of sharing all of these ‘firsts’ with her. As they rode home in his rented carriage, the champagne had loosened her tongue, and she was chatting away cheerfully. He sat silently, smiling, as he reveled in the pleasure of her comfortable banter. Disembarking the carriage, they began to walk slowly up to her door.
“Oh, Cole, what a fantastic evening! If you are half as good at everything else as you are of choosing ways to entertain me, then I am a lucky woman indeed.” Again, she blushed and clamped her gloved hand over her tattletale lips. She bashfully looked up and saw Cole’s eager smile, and knew he read every possible meaning into her statement. Regaining her composure, she continued calmly. “Thank you for a very enjoyable evening. You are spoiling me, Cole.” They took the final two steps to her door. Suddenly she stopped, looking over at him. “Is that your plan? Get me hopelessly in love with this lifestyle so I cannot live without it?” She told him, as if struck with an epiphany. Cole’s face suddenly became serious, almost grave.
Tightening his grasp on her arm, he swung her around to face him. His unexpected actions drew a small gasp from her.
“No, my plan is to get you to fall hopelessly in love with me so you cannot live without me.” His voice was hoarse with emotion, and his eyes were moist, fiercely yearning for a sign that his hopes may someday be realized.
She stared back at him, suddenly feeling unsteady on her feet, her head spinning. What was happening? She still was not ready to give him the encouragement he so desperately wanted. She lowered her gaze reproachfully to where his hand firmly gripped her elbow.
Following her gaze, he released his grasp. But instead of letting go of her completely, he slid both hands around her waist pulling her closer to him. She did not resist.
“Darcy,” he whispered, his lips nearly touching her face. “I have waited for you, and I will continue to wait as long as it takes for you to return even a portion of what I feel for you, but please, please give me something to show my waiting is not in vain.”
With a sad smile, she looked up into his expectant face. Oh, what do I do now?
“Oh, Cole, I am flattered, I really am,” she whispered back, “but I have been through things no woman should have to endure, and it has left damage that is still too fresh and too deep to risk making a mistake. I am just beginning to heal”—her smile brightened somewhat—“and I have you to thank for it. I am sure no other man anywhere would be as patient and understanding as you have been, and it means more than know.” She took a deep breath, paused, and saw his unwavering stare into her eyes. “What could I give you to show my appreciation without giving you false hope?”
“This.” His lips quickly covered hers in a kiss overflowing with passion and desire. He had wanted to take it slow and easy for her sake, but once his mouth closed on hers, all willpower was gone, and he wanted to devour the sweetness of her mouth leaving none for another day. This intimate gesture carried him away to a place he had thus far only dreamed about, and now he wanted to stay here forever. Briefly, he could feel her relaxing in his arms, but far too soon, she pulled away.
“No. That’s enough. I can’t. I don’t expect you to understand, and perhaps it is not fair of me to ask you to, but I just can’t yet. I must sound like some irrational, psychotic female who is playing games with your heart. I promise you I am not, and I pray that you aren’t either. I wish I…I…” She turned and dashed into the house, sobbin
g as she went.
For a long moment, Cole stood frozen to the spot where she had left him. His mind raced with a thousand thoughts, his heart chaotic with emotions, as he stood staring at the door through which she had disappeared. At least she is beginning to feel. That is better than the stone statue she was when we first met.
He had a kiss to sustain him, but would it? Not really. It just whet his appetite for more. He should be thankful because it was a huge step for Darcy, but waiting was becoming harder and harder. He must be patient. He could not pressure her. If he did, she would turn and flee like a startled doe in the forest at the slightest whiff of danger.
Sighing he turned and headed back to his lonely hotel room. At least she still wanted to see him. That was progress! Each baby step took him closer to his ultimate goal...Darcy!
When Darcy entered the house, it was eerily dark and silent. Only one lamp was glowing softly in the hallway. She picked it up and sniffing back her tears, made her way upstairs to bed. It seemed strange that Eva did not show herself. Oh, well, she had been acting very strange lately, and it is very late.
Thoughts of Cole fluttered around in Darcy’s head like butterfly wings. The helpless, hopeful look he had given her tonight was seared into her mind’s eye forever. She felt cruel and selfish for not being able to return his feelings for her. She enjoyed his company immensely, and he had opened new worlds to her she would otherwise have missed entirely. Yet, she was still too fearful that feelings for someone would open a Pandora’s Box. It was too big a risk. She could not easily put all she had suffered behind her and go skipping merrily off to find love and happiness in the arms of someone, no matter how handsome and charming.
What is wrong with me? Am I going to stall so long that I will lose the one man willing to be patient with my doubts and fears and wait for me to become whole? Hours passed before she fell into a fitful slumber.
The next morning, she arose late and upon exiting her room Eva was nowhere in sight once again. Some personal maid! Huh! I never see her anymore! There was nothing she really needed Eva to do, she just missed her friend’s companionship. Eva was continuing to distance herself more and more after each outing Darcy had with Cole. What if it came to choosing between her precious friend and the man who might hold her future happiness? She didn’t want to think about it and prayed she would never need to face that dilemma.
As usual, later that day another bouquet of beautiful flowers came for Darcy with a card of thanks. She carefully stored the card with the others in a treasure box in her dresser. Sighing, she wished she could share the joy of this budding romance with her friend, but it was obvious Eva wanted no part of it.
August settled in over the low country, bringing with it the oppressive heat and humidity of the dog days of summer. For a break from the heat, Cole took Darcy for a canoe ride down a picturesque river. Gliding across the water beneath a canopy of ancient oaks and towering cypress trees, they enjoyed the respite of the cool shade and refreshing breeze not found in the city.
“I love this place,” Cole told her.
“Umm. It is heavenly.”
“There is solitude without feeling lonely and peace without cost.” He spoke in a hushed, almost haunted tone. Then brightening, he said, “I love listening to all the bayou sounds, the bellowing gators, the bullfrog’s bark, and the different bird calls. It makes me forget there is anything outside of this Eden.” Swatting some stinging insects, he added, “And the mosquitoes.”
Darcy was eyeing him shrewdly, seeing within his eyes a lost little boy with a huge hurt.
“What did you do before you became a professional gambler?” She asked in hopes of learning more about the man that was worming his way into her heart.
“Killed a man.”
Her loud gasp made him regret his bluntness. When he looked at her, her face registered shock and disbelief.
“It wasn’t like it sounds. Let me explain before you judge me too harshly,” he replied quickly. He knew he’d better talk fast. “It was very tough where I grew up, and two days after a fight with this fella, he died from a knife wound they say I gave him. I was charged with manslaughter, and I served five years in the state penitentiary. While I was in there, I learned how to play cards, so I turned to gambling when I got out.”
“Oh,” her voice sounded small and frightened, and Cole took note of how she looked from side to side refusing to look at him.
Now I’ve done it! Now she is even more afraid of me.
“Oh, Darcy. I am so sorry I upset you. I didn’t mean to make you fear me. That is the last thing I want. It is just the truth, and I want you to know the truth about me. It was an accident, and I regret it every day, but I paid for that unfortunate choice with five years of my life. It was a kill or be killed situation, and it could just as easily have been me that died. That is one reason I never went back.”
“What about your family?”
“I don’t know what happened to them. My younger brother died when I was a young boy. He fell off a bank and drowned. My parents blamed me because I was supposed to be watching him. They never forgave me for that crime, so the next one was the final straw. They didn’t come to my trial or visit me the entire time I was in prison. I am sure they consider me dead to them, so I have chosen to believe the same of them.”
“I’m so sorry.” She sounded more natural now. Perhaps she was getting over the shock.
“Guess we are in the same boat.” Then they both laughed at her pun. “I mean we do have a lot in common. My parents turned their backs on me when they sold me to Edgar. I have not seen them since, or forgiven them for it. I don’t know where they are or if they are still alive.” Sighing deeply she continued. “Family is so important yet we both have none. Maybe that is what is wrong with us?”
Cole cocked his brow.
“I didn’t know there was anything wrong with us. Pray tell me what you think is wrong with us?” His curious gaze made her blush and look away. Hurray, yet another emotion!
After a flustered moment, she finally went on to say, “I just meant that we have both been on our own since we were quite young and had to find somewhat unconventional ways to survive. We have no family, no one to fall back on, no one who cares about us. We are completely on our own.”
Cole’s smile vanished. He put down the oars and reached for her hands. Taking them in his, he leaned close to her face.
“Darcy, that is where you are so wrong. You do have someone to fall back on, and someone to run to for help and comfort—me! That is what I have been trying to get through your pretty little head ever since I met you. I truly do love you, Darcy. I am asking you to let me be the one you run to in good times and bad, to protect you, and enjoy life with you as long as we live. It would be my honor and privilege, and bring me greater joy than you can imagine. My darling, you have absolutely nothing to fear from me. I will never hurt you or use you. I only want to cherish you and make you happy…and help you forget about the past.”
His gaze revealed the intensity of the emotions raging within him. Perhaps it was the romantic surroundings, his words, his look, or his touch on her small hands, but Cole was thrilled that something made her incline her face to him and gently kiss his ready lips. Cole’s heart nearly flew out of his chest. She was kissing him of her own volition. She kissed me! When he attempted to reposition himself to pull her closer and kiss her again, the canoe began to rock. She squealed, and they both laughed heartily as they struggled to right it again.
Safe on land, they walked hand in hand up to their waiting buggy. What a glorious afternoon it had been. Darcy was still smiling. Cole was happier than he had ever been.
“Well, Darcy? Do you believe you can trust me yet?” Cole asked as they rode away.
She hesitated before answering, apparently giving it some serious thought. “I will take what you said under advisement.” She smiled at him shyly, and he gave her hand a tight squeeze.
Tucking her arm beneath his, she scooted clos
er to him on the buggy seat, and the touch of her thigh against his sent flames shooting through him. Oh, let this be the beginning of much more to come.
“My hopeful heart will consider that a ‘yes’.”
Chapter Six
The next day, the air was pregnant with foreboding, as clouds hung low over the eastern sky, and a southeasterly wind began whipping across the area. Carrie came blustering in, sweaty and puffing after the morning’s shopping at the market.
“Lordy, I feel like I done been slapped in the face by a soppy wet dishrag. This weather is about to do sumpthin’ that it don’t usually do. I feels it in my bones. There is sumpthin’ bad comin’, Missus.”
“Well, thank you for that weather report, Carrie, but don’t forget that Mrs. Mary Alice Higgins is coming over for a visit this morning at ten o’clock. Please be sure to have a light snack for us and something cold to drink.”
Mary Alice had been true to her word. She had kept in close touch with Darcy since the days prior to the funeral. Eva seemed a little more amiable today as well. Having someone come to visit made Darcy feel almost normal. She was always glad when Mary Alice came over because she would deliver all the latest gossip, and sometimes it pertained to Darcy.
Promptly at ten o’clock that morning, the doorbell rang, and Eva opened the door to the smiling face of Darcy’s sister-in-law. All three women exchanged cheerful greetings then settled down in the parlor with some lemon cookies and iced tea for refreshment.
“Mary Alice, dear, it is just wonderful seeing you again. Please, tell us all the news. We are just dying to hear!”
“Well, let me think where to begin. Oh! Cecelia Braddock is expecting another baby. I believe this is number eight. Her husband doesn’t look robust enough to produce so many offspring, but I guess looks can be deceiving.” The two women chuckled, but Eva remained solemn.
“You know those two old maids, Tillie and Lucy Bass? Well, they are very involved in politics and follow all the activities of the Women’s Rights activists Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. They are both Yankees.” She made a face with the word ‘Yankees.’ “But they are trying to bring about much-needed improvements to the status of women. They are campaigning for equal wages for equal work, government subsidies for families, and of course, the right to vote for women in this country and around the world. Another thing they want is to remove the double standards that give men the unfair advantage right now. You girls should come to the next meeting. I admit I have gone, and I like what I am hearing.”
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