by Kristen Cobb
Lifting her right hand Conri wove his fingers through hers. “There is something else I should probably apologize for while I am at it. Do not become used to this by the way. I made a promise that I would trust in our love for each other above all else. If I had kept that promise your plan never would have worked. I lost faith, and for that I am sorry.”
He thought about apologies in general for a moment. His wife had been thoroughly unrepentant earlier. Not even a single apology. “While we are on the topic you owe me an apology. Actually you owe me numerous apologies. One for lying to me. You should have talked to me about your fears. I realize my attitude could be deemed less than pleasant at the time but you still should have consulted me before making a decision that affected the both of us. We also promised to do better at communicating with each other. You certainly did not keep that promise. You also owe me an apology for publicly humiliating me and another for breaking my heart. When you wake up I want an apology. No, I demand an apology.”
Kissing the side of her face he remembered what Ronan said about Nessa loving the way he gave her ridiculous commands. “You will be repentant because I have ordered it to be so. Your intentions might have been good but the pain they caused was very real for me. Do you have any idea what it felt like to hear you no longer loved me?”
Conri hesitated before revealing the depth of his pain, continuing only because he realized Nessa needed to understand just how much her actions wounded him. “I have not cried since I was a little boy, hungry and alone with nowhere to go, until the night you told me we were over. I sat outside on the balcony at my father’s house beneath the stars and wept. I have never felt a pain that deep and devastating in my life. Do not ever do that to me again. I will only forgive it once.”
At the time he assumed the distraught look on his wife’s face was due to the guilt of sleeping with his best friend. With everything else going on in his head he did not even consider the possibility she still loved him. He knew now her own heart shattered that night as well.
“Now, on to our next topic. How we prevent this insanity from ever happening again. You never did actually ask me to bond. Mentioning the possibility does not strictly qualify. There is a difference. After the kidnapping you chose to leave me rather than ask me to bond with you. I cannot know for certain whether that omission was due to my initial reaction to the topic or because you now have no wish to do so with me. Since I have promised to trust in your love for me I will assume the former is true and not the latter.”
He’d given this particular subject a great deal of thought since Ronan mentioned it. “One of the things I feared most was how your powers might change me. I realize now that life changes us whether we wish it or not. The abduction and torture has changed me. Falling in love with you has changed me. Spending time with Ronan has changed me. It is impossible to avoid change. If you wish to bond I would be willing to take the chance. Having to die then being reborn makes me a bit nervous but if the alternative is a life without you I deem it a risk worth taking. I will leave it up to you. If bonding is something you want then all you need do is ask but do not feel as if you have to. We will find a way to assuage your fears about my safety because we are remaining together. I absolutely forbid you to leave me.” He raised her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it. “I also cannot have my wife living the rest of her life as a bird.”
He watched the men milling about for a moment. Ronan still strutted about naked. He ripped through his clothes turning into a horse. Someone offered him their tunic but he refused. Ronan did not seem at all bothered by his nudity, definitely a shifter thing.
Ronan’s back had been covered with blood when they first arrived. Walking naked to a nearby farm his brother returned with a bucket of water and his back washed clean of Nessa’s blood. According to Ronan the farmer’s daughter aided considerably in accomplishing the task. Conri was able to wash his own hands clean of blood with the water in the bucket. He made no attempt to wash Nessa yet. The last time he checked her wound the bleeding had not stopped, although it finally slowed to a trickle, a good sign.
Rory on the other hand immediately commandeered the clothes from someone close to his size, leaving that man naked. Rory fell to his knees beside Nessa when he caught up to them, demanding they do something to help her. Someone suggested starting a fire and trying to cauterize the wound. That seemed unlikely to be helpful due to the placement of her wound. Taking an arrow to the gut generally proved fatal because of the bleeding on the inside as well as what could be seen on the outside. Their best option was to allow Nessa’s body to heal itself.
His refusal to do anything at all to help Nessa other than protect her infuriated Rory. Ronan calmly proclaimed Nessa would be fine. That being the assessment of an immortal Rory had a difficult time accepting Ronan’s opinion on the subject. Conri backed up his brother’s statement, assuring Rory that Nessa’s body could heal itself given enough time.
He told Rory to continue moving toward home. They would catch up later. Everyone stayed, not just Rory. Word of his wife’s heroic deed spread quickly. She saved the life of their king. Any past misdeeds were apparently forgiven.
Rory walked toward them, staring intently down at Nessa. “How is she?”
Conri lifted the blood soaked deep blue tunic, leaning around her to peer at the wound. He would rather not move her body forward to check her back. “The bleeding has nearly stopped. By morning she should wake. She can hear you though.”
“But she is not conscious. How can…”
“It is not the same with us. When dealt a mortal wound our bodies appear to shut down. All of the available energy is used to facilitate a faster healing process. The mind however remains quite active. Sleep will not come until a sufficient amount of healing has taken place so I assure you, she is awake and alert.” Conri almost laughed as he watched Rory looking down at Nessa as if she were a curiosity.
Rory sat down next to them, picking up Nessa’s other hand. “No one is leaving until you can ride with us. I am grateful that you saved my life but you are never, ever to do that again.” Rory looked up, pointing back and forth between him and Nessa with raised eyebrows.
There was no guarantee his impassioned plea would change her mind. “I hope so.”
They sat together quietly after that, each holding one of her hands, the two men who loved her. If Nessa remained committed to her current plan of protecting him in animal form he would not turn her away. A life without her being the worst fate he could imagine.
15
Conri’s warm body was wrapped around her from behind, strong arms keeping her safe through the night. Slowly opening her eyes Nessa looked down at his fingers woven through her own. She did not deserve him. Her sword lay on the ground next to Conri’s. Both hilts rested on a thick root of the tree behind them.
His ramblings while her body was shut down exposed the true depth of her betrayal. While her intentions could be considered honorable and pure of heart the way she went about implementing the plan much less so. Conri made a valid point, she should have consulted him, given him a say in deciding his own life. She had no real defense for her actions at this point. If it were possible to go back and do things differently she would but life did not work that way. They would both have to live with the pain her choices caused.
Her husband demanded multiple apologies and he would get them. Smiling she remembered hearing him order her to be repentant. He also warned her that he would only forgive such a deception once. A man as honorable as her husband should not even have to forgive it once. She deeply regretted her decisions now.
Lifting his hand to her lips Nessa felt Conri’s arms gently tighten around her. Trying to move even slightly caused almost blinding pain. Beginning to heal was not the same as healed. She wanted to look him in the eye while apologizing. He needed to see that her remorse was genuine. The man deserved at least that.
Brushing her hair aside Conri kissed the side of her forehead. “Good morning
wife. How are you feeling?”
“Sore.” She slowly sat up away from his body, gnashing her teeth against the pain. “Would you hold my shirt up so I can finish healing the wound?”
Gripping her tunic on both sides Conri lifted the garment until it rested just below her breasts. Bending an arm enough to hover a hand over the wound on her back proved difficult. Drawing in the needed power she began directing a condensed flow of energy into the wound from both sides, asking the powers of the earth to heal her. The healing took longer than one of Conri’s wounds. The arrow traveled straight through her entire body, inflicting damage the entire way. She could actually feel the healing taking place.
Mildly excruciating pain coursed through her midsection as the flow of energy slowly healed the wound all the way through her body. Once she saw the outside of the wound heal Nessa lowered her arms, leaning back against Conri, needing a moment to catch her breath. She’d never experienced the process herself. How had Conri endured the healing of so many wounds at once? Drawing out the infection alone must have been extraordinarily painful.
Conri pulled down her blood soaked shirt, dried blood making the garment stiff.
Sitting up she attempted to move. Amazingly enough she felt fine other than a bit of residual discomfort due to the healing process. Turning around in his arms Nessa wrapped her legs around his waist, stuffing her feet between Conri’s back and the tree. The smile on his face surprised her.
So much needed to be said she had a difficult time deciding where to begin. The apology. That was probably the best place to start. “I would like to begin by saying I love you, and only you. There will never be anyone else for me. You are the strongest man I have ever met and I am not talking about your physical prowess. I have never been embarrassed to be your wife.” Running a hand through his seriously mussed hair she took a deep breath before continuing. “Now, that being said, you were right, I do owe you an apology or two.”
Conri nodded then wrapped his arms around her, a serious expression on his face. He pulled her up onto his lap rather than between his legs on the ground. “I am ready to hear your apologies wife.” The joy sparkling in his beautiful brown eyes a complete contrast to the serious expression on his face.
She longed to kiss him but that would have to wait. There had been far too little communication going on between them as of late, another issue her husband mentioned. “You were right. I should have discussed my fears with you. It was not my decision to make alone. I am truly sorry that I hurt you. I am also sorry that I lied.” She tried to remember all of the apologies he demanded. “I am sorry that I publicly humiliated you by pretending to be with Rory. But in my defense…”
Conri set a hand over her mouth. “Stop right there. Anything that comes after but will only ruin a perfectly acceptable and seemingly genuine apology.”
Once he pulled his hand away from her mouth she kissed his palm. “I will never do anything like that again.”
He leaned forward to kiss her. It pained her to do it but she laid a hand against his chest to stop him.
A surprised and hurt look destroyed the happiness in his eyes immediately. “You still plan on leaving me? How can you…”
Now it was her turn to put a hand over his mouth. “I am not leaving you. I would simply like to finish our discussion before you distract me to the point where my mind no longer functions properly. You did say we need to communicate more.” Slowly pulling her hand away from his face she was rewarded with a self-satisfied grin. “We still need a plan to protect you from the threat my powers bring. Did you mean what you said? Are you truly willing to bond with me?”
“I am.” He pulled her up a bit more on his lap. “Now can we…”
“No. There are a few things I need to tell you first. There are risks associated with the bonding as well.” Even their bonding could not completely protect him, a fact he needed to know before deciding to remain with her.
“I remember, the dying and being reborn. Not exactly ideal but if you say everything will be fine I am willing to trust you.” He leaned in to kiss her again.
Laughing, she laid a hand against his chest again, halting his amorous advance. “Not so fast, there is more. I learned something from your father that you need to be aware of.”
Leaning back against the tree with a great heaving sigh Conri raised his knees so she could relax against his legs, both hands roaming slowly down to her waist. “I am listening. What did you learn from my father.”
She doubted the information would change his decision but he needed to be apprised of all the risks. “There were originally four ancients, all male. The ancients were the only true immortals but apparently your grandfather and the elders murdered the other three. Your father is the only one left. According to your father when one bonded partner dies so does the other. The other three ancients had all bonded with a mate. The elders used their bonded mate to kill them. Our bonding is still the best option because it gives you my powers but it will also put you in danger for a completely different reason. The elders believe the ancients are too powerful. Your father has almost entirely stopped living in an attempt to avoid the threat they pose to his life. He has not bonded, nor does he even leave his home very often. I am now faced with the same choice. I should say we. From now on I will not make decisions for the both of us. This affects you too. If we are going to be together we need to decide what the best course of action is. Do we bond and make you a target of the elders right along with me or leave things as they are, with you vulnerable to anyone that wants to try and control me?”
Conri considered the options for a moment before responding. “So our bonding would actually put you at risk. If they manage to kill me you would die as well.”
“I am more concerned about the fact they would be trying to kill you.” No matter how she looked at it her presence in his life put him at risk. Apparently nothing could change that fact.
“I do not think we should give my grandfather the power to control our lives. I say we go with the bonding.”
While hesitant to put him in any kind of danger she had to agree. Bonding seemed the best option. She would never possess the strength of will to stay away from him. “I agree. I think we should do it at Rory’s, in the inner ward. It will provide the most protection while we are vulnerable.”
“Sounds like a perfectly acceptable place to die. Anything else?”
She gave him a disapproving look for the offhand comment about his dying before continuing. “Yes. I think we should invite your father.”
“I do not want to wait that long. We would have to go back to Rory’s and get supplies. We do not even have any food. It would…”
“If not for Kaelan either you would be dead or I would be bonded to Declan, possibly both. There are plenty of men here that can escort Rory back to the castle.” He was looking at her with no real emotion on his face now. She knew what that meant. He did not want to deal with the issue at all. She had no intention of letting it go. “Your father is the best warrior I have ever seen and one of the ancients. I would feel much better if he were there. We will never be more vulnerable than during our bonding. If someone tried to hurt us or stop the bonding by cutting down the tree we would not survive. Please.” She kissed the side of his neck. “Please can we go to Killala and bring your father to the bonding?”
“That is not fair. You are trying to manipulate me.” Conri’s heavy lidded gaze told her he was not even slightly angry about her tactic.
“No, I am trying to seduce you to get what I want. I do believe you used the same technique on me the other night.” Sliding her hand beneath the hem of his black tunic she ran it up the warm skin beneath, first up his side then down his muscular chest.
He tried not to smile. “I did no such thing.”
“Now who is lying?”
Conri grabbed her sword off the ground with a grin. His hands brushed against her breasts while adjusting the strap unnecessarily as if there were a perfect position. Lifti
ng his own weapon he quickly threw it over his head, standing up with her body still wrapped around him. Nessa wound her arms tighter about his neck. Setting both hands beneath her backside Conri began walking without saying a word.
Wrapping her legs a bit tighter around his waist Nessa considered sliding down his body to the ground and walking but decided against it. Why not remain in the perfect position to continue her assault. “Where are we going?” She kissed behind his ear then gently sucked on the lobe.
“Killala.”
“Now?” She could feel his erection pressing against her at the junction of her thighs.
“Yes now.” Conri suddenly stopped walking. “You are well enough to ride?”
“I am fine. Thank you for asking. I am also well enough for other things.” A bold statement given their circumstances.
Conri did not resume walking. As he stood there looking into her eyes she could almost hear his thoughts. He wanted to kiss her but was afraid they would lose control and wind up making love right here in front of everyone. There were at least a hundred men with them in the tiny copse of trees with nowhere to go for privacy.
Deciding caution and self-control were overrated she could wait no longer. “I need you.” She moved ever so slightly, rubbing her most private parts against the hard length of his shaft. “Please.”
His eyes were wild now. It would not take much more to push him over the edge. Conri was staring intently into her eyes, trying to control himself, jaw clenched. “Ronan!”
In no time at all she heard Ronan’s voice behind her. “You bellowed dear brother.”
“We ride to Killala. Now.” Conri’s nostrils flared ever so slightly, his breathing labored.
“Excellent.” She heard a few gasps behind them, which meant Ronan turned into a horse in front of everyone.
“William, escort Rory back to the castle. Most of the men here are ours. You are in charge until I return.”