by Holly Jaymes
I convinced myself I was feeling better. I showered and changed as quickly as possible, putting on a loose cotton dress because I was self-conscious of my body, even though I was pretty confident that I wasn’t showing yet.
I left the house eventually, already two hours late for work and made my way to the studio. In the car, I drove with the windows rolled down, allowing the breeze to blow in and ruffle my hair. I was too hot, from nervousness and the hormones. I didn’t know how I was going to face Susan and lie to her face.
Sawyer
The day after the Leewards turned up at the hospital, I was at a fundraiser. The evening was going well, and events like these gave me the perfect opportunity to network.
I had already made a sizable donation to the charity for the event, and that gave me some relief from that nagging feeling in my soul that Fay was right about me. I still couldn’t get her out of my mind. I was hoping that I might get another opportunity to prove her wrong. For some reason, winning her approval had become very important to me.
I was in a conversation with Liam Bradford, the head of the city’s Transport system. He was interested in me attending a panel discussion he was setting up; when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I turned around to find a woman standing there, in a glittering silver cocktail dress. There was a half-drunk glass of wine dangling from her hand, and she was staring at me with her dark eyes narrowed.
“Hello,” I said, not recognizing her, but she looked vaguely familiar to me.
“Sawyer Barnhart. Well well well,” she had a menacing way of speaking. I had an immediate feeling that this woman was a little drunk, which was never a good sign, around me.
I looked over at Liam who was standing beside me still. He seemed a bit confused. I smiled at the girl.
“That’s me. I’m sorry, I don’t seem to recognize you,” I spoke as calmly as possible. However, from the expression on her face, I could sense that this wasn’t going to end well.
“You don’t recognize me? Veronica Hail!” she snapped as her voice rose by several decibels. Some heads turned to eye us as I gulped, still trying to smile.
“Of course, yes, Veronica, how are you?” I asked her.
“You haven’t cared about that for the past six months, why are you asking me now?” she snapped again. I glanced at Liam, who now had a silly grin on his face. He was enjoying this.
“Maybe we can talk in private and discuss the situation,” I suggested, knowing that I needed to get her away from this crowded place as quickly as possible. I had a reputation to maintain.
“I’m not going anywhere. I want everyone to know what a dickhead you are!” she rattled on, swaying a little on her feet. I grabbed her, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her steady, but she struggled against me, so I stepped away from her.
“Leave me alone! I should have known you were never going to call!” her voice was high-pitched and shaky. She looked like she was about to burst into tears.
The low hum of chatter around us seemed to have grown silent now. More groups of people were staring at us.
“We should talk,” I said as I made a move to walk away from her. She was completely ruining my image in front of Liam, and I needed to stop her.
“Yeah, that wasn’t what you said when you took me to your apartment. We weren’t going there to talk, were we? I didn’t have much of an opportunity to talk with your dick down my throat!” she had screamed those words out, and there was a sudden hush in the ballroom.
I clenched my jaws, glaring at her. My anger was rising quickly in my veins. Liam had backed away smoothly now and left Veronica and me facing each other.
“I should probably get you a cab. You’ve had quite a bit to drink,” I whispered to her. She screeched, like a war cry. Before I knew what she was going to do, she had thrown her glass at me. The red wine spilled all over my tuxedo, bloodily staining my crisp white shirt and my pants.
Veronica huffed now.
“That’s what you deserve. That’s what every woman in this city should do to you. You’re an asshole!” she shrieked. With that, she turned around and ran past the groups of people who were staring at me now.
“Sir, can I offer you a towel?” a uniformed waiter had appeared at my side. I had been standing still, looking at Veronica slithering away now.
“Thanks, I’ll just go take care of this in the restroom,” I said. I then proceeded to force a casual smile on my face every time I caught someone’s eye as I made my way to the restrooms at the back.
I knew they were all talking about me, and this time, they didn’t have a whole lot of good things to say. I could feel the back of my neck burning up as I hurried in. There was an attendant in the restroom, and I couldn’t control my rage anymore. I ordered him to step outside, and I locked the door behind him.
When I looked in the mirror, I could see how badly ruined my clothes were. I wouldn’t be able to spend the rest of the evening like this. I would have to go home now. Besides, I was too embarrassed to mingle.
I wet a towel and tried to dab at the stains, which wasn’t working.
The whole time, Fay’s words were repeating in my head. Medicine was a noble profession, and I didn’t behave like a doctor. I was supposed to be out there saving lives, which was what I thought I was doing. But, at the same time, shit like this happened to me!
If I was such a do-gooder and a person to be looked up to then why did so many women in this city hate me?
I couldn’t help but think that Fay was right, even though I had been fighting that idea for the past three months. I did not behave like a respectable doctor, a forerunner in my industry. I was nothing more than a pretty face on television screens. I was an insult to my profession.
Fay
Doctor Roberts took off her latex gloves and popped them in the bin beside her swivel chair.
I was in a hospital gown, sitting up on the table with my legs splayed wide.
“You can sit comfortably now, Fay,” she told me with a calmness in her eyes. Did I detect some sympathy? Was she pitying me because I was pregnant and I’d explained to her that I wasn’t with the father of my child?
“You should have come to me sooner,” she scolded, clasping her hands together. She had no idea how much courage I needed to even come to her now. I nodded my head and pursed my lips together.
“I had no idea till a few days ago,” I told her and lied. I knew she didn’t believe me. There was no way that I couldn’t have known.
I swung my legs over the edge, fixing the hospital gown on my lap.
“Well, everything seems fine. I’m going to prescribe some vitamin tablets for you, and other than that, keep doing what you’ve been doing. Remember to stay hydrated and make sure that you’re not overworking yourself,” she continued, smiling at me. The sympathy on her face was blatant now.
Would she be so sympathetic if she knew who had got me pregnant? That it was one of her colleagues, whose office was just a few floors above hers?
I had gone to the extreme, bordering on comical lengths to disguise myself when I walked into St. Xavier’s Hospital. I had dressed in baggy clothes, I covered half of my face with my hair, and I wore my sunglasses all the way to Doctor Roberts’ office. Thankfully, there was no sign of Sawyer anywhere. Finally, now, I was feeling a little more relieved.
“Yes, I’m going to be careful,” I told her as I stood up, reaching for the pile of my clothes on the chair beside me.
Doctor Roberts swiveled in her chair away from me, giving me some privacy as I changed.
“How are you doing otherwise, Fay?” she asked as I slipped my oversized shirt on over my head.
“I’m fine. It’s just that this is a big change and I’m trying to get used to it,” I told her.
“Have you considered informing the father? This baby is as much his responsibility as it is yours, you know?” she continued. I gulped, imagining Sawyer’s face if I told him he got me pregnant. How was I supposed to explain to Docto
r Roberts that we didn’t exactly like each other?
“I want to keep him out of it. I haven't spoken to him for…” I said.
“Three months,” she finished my sentence and swiveled around to look at me.
“That isn’t a very long time, Fay, I’m sure he will want to know. I always advise all my patients, all mothers, that this is a challenging journey to go on alone. Do you have other help?” she asked and I shook my head, a little embarrassed.
“Only my mother. She lives in Florida, in a retirement home. She’s not exactly in the best of health. She wouldn’t be able to help, and I don’t want to worry her right now,” I replied.
“Friends?” she asked. I shook my head again. “You haven’t told anyone else have you?” she added.
“I’m waiting for when I think the moment is right,” I told her as I picked up my purse. Doctor Roberts stood up from her chair. She had a concerned look on her face.
“The time is right now, Fay, tell him. He deserves to know. Your baby deserves to know its father too,” she continued. I gulped, nodding my head nervously. We both knew it wasn’t going to happen. I had already made up my mind to keep Sawyer out of our lives.
“Check in with me in two weeks, Fay, I want to keep a close eye on you,” she added, as I left her office. I thanked her and stepped out in the hall, closing the door behind me.
I fumbled in my purse looking for my pair of sunglasses. I looked up and realized they were already in my hand.
Sawyer was at the end of the hall, in his scrubs, with a file in his hand and a stethoscope hanging from his neck. I froze for a few moments, my heart racing in my chest.
He was handsome as he stood there, staring back at me, his eyes narrowing as his face flooded with recognition. He looked scrumptious in those scrubs, good enough to eat and I hated myself for admiring him.
He took a few slow steps in my direction. A smile was spreading on his face. I wanted to despise him. We weren’t friends! Did he think I was going to be happy to see him? Did he think that we would hug like long lost friends?
Sawyer was gaining distance on me, and the sunglasses dropped from my hands when I turned and ran.
“Fay!” I heard him call out my name. My flat pumps squeaked on the freshly mopped hospital floors as I ran to the emergency exit doors, bursting through them so I could take the stairs.
I didn’t know if he was after me, but I didn’t stop to look. All I wanted was to get out of there. I didn’t want to have to look at him again. I recognized that searing feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was my body telling me that as much as I fought to resist Sawyer Barnhart’s good looks; it was impossible. I still wanted him. I was attracted to him beyond control.
I was out of breath as I reached the ground floor and I kept running down the hall towards the open main doors of the hospital. I ran out of the doors into the sun, and I kept running.
I prayed that I could get away from him this one time. If my prayers worked, then I would never return to this hospital again.
Sawyer
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw her. I had been thinking about Fay a lot these past few days, and there she was; right in front of me. I thought I was dreaming until she skipped around and started running away. I called after her, startled by her strange reaction to me.
I was aware that she wasn’t my biggest fan; however, I hadn’t expected her to make a run for it either. What was she running away from?
While she took the stairs, I took the elevator. I was pretty sure that she was going towards the hospital’s main doors. When I stepped out of the elevator, I saw her zooming past. She wasn’t even looking to see if I was behind her, she was on one straight track to the doors.
I chased after her, slightly worried now and she burst outside. I followed her, but she kept running blindly. I saw the ambulance rushing towards her, but Fay didn’t seem to notice its siren.
She was stepping right out in front of it, but I caught the loose edge of her shirt and pulled her back just moments before the ambulance screeched to a stop in front of us.
Fay fell back into my arms. She was panting. The ambulance door jerked open.
“Are you ok?” the paramedic shouted, but he didn’t have time to stand there and deal with us. They had an emergency case in the back of the ambulance to deal with.
Fay was still in my arms. I was holding her tightly to my chest. I could sense her breathing hard. Her knees were going weak.
“You okay?” I asked. She had gone limp as I held her, she wasn’t even trying to get out of my grip. She dabbed a hand on her forehead. Her eyelids fluttered weakly.
“Yes, I’m fine, t…t…thanks,” she said, stammering.
People were gawking at us, staring at the scene we’d just created. Slowly, she started turning to me, but she wobbled on her feet again.
I reached for her, and before she could stop me; I lifted her up in my arms. I saw Fay look surprised, but she didn’t protest, she allowed me to carry her. She was still shocked by her near-death experience, and there was something critical on her mind; I could sense that too.
“Where are you taking me?” she whimpered, as I carried her back into the building.
“To my office, you need to sit down and get a hold of yourself,” I told her.
Fay kept her gaze firmly turned from me as I carried her down the hall, up the elevator, and to my floor. Neither of us said a word. I knew it was a strange thing to do, to carry a completely healthy person in public like that, but I could sense that she wasn’t feeling too well and I wanted to stop her from running away again.
Fay
Before I knew it, I was in Sawyer’s office and still in his arms.
I felt dazed by the blinding sun in my eyes and reeling from the knowledge that I had been so close to a life-threatening accident. What was I thinking? Why had I been so desperate to run away from this man? Desperate enough to put my life in danger, and also my child’s? Why wasn’t I strong enough to stand up to my fears?
Sawyer had his strong arms tightly wrapped around me. We were in the middle of his office, and he still hadn’t put me down. I could see every sharp edge of his face. I noticed the way his green eyes burned into mine as he stared at me. There was a grin tugging the corners of his lips. He thought this was some big joke!
I wriggled in his arms until he got the hint and put me down. I was shaky getting back to my feet, and I swayed but held my ground quickly.
“Congratulations! You successfully made a big show of yourself,” I hissed. I was struggling to smooth out my clothes that were all messed up now since he’d carried me. My shirt was creased, my loose baggy jeans had ridden up my calves.
Sawyer was watching me. He still had that humorous look on his face.
“Are you going to tell me what is going on?” he asked, in a calm, deep voice.
“It’s very simple. You got one more opportunity to prove to your fans that you’re some superhero. Maybe there were some cameras around that caught you in action!” I snapped.
Sawyer’s smile turned sour, and his eyes darkened. Breathing in deeply, he walked over to his desk and sat down on his chair.
“A simple, thank you, Sawyer, for saving my life, would suffice,” he said, still calm. I couldn’t be calm. I was face to face with the man whose child I was carrying. Could he see it on my face? Did he know that I had a big secret I was hiding from him?
Sawyer’s eyes roamed over me, taking in the shape of my breasts under my shirt. He had a look in his eyes that told me he was daydreaming about our night together. He was picturing me naked, I was sure of it. I suddenly felt very self-conscious, like he could see right through me, so I crossed my arms over my breasts in the form of defense.
“Fine, thank you! You did a good job. I’m sure everyone thinks that. I’m surprised you didn’t get a standing ovation on the spot,” I said. My voice was sizzling. An attack was my best defense, and I was using it full throttle.
In his scrubs, behind
his desk with that stethoscope around his neck, for the first time, Sawyer looked like a professional. His biceps bulged, and his shoulders were broad and sexy. I knew what his cock felt like inside me, I thought, but still, he finally looked like an actual doctor.
“Fay, I don’t understand why you’re attacking me for a good deed. Are you saying that I shouldn’t have saved your life? I should have just let you hurl yourself into that ambulance, just so that I didn’t end up looking good to the audience?” his voice had taken on a more serious tone. I could sense that he was losing his patience with me again. That was what I wanted. I wanted him to hate me just as much as I hated him before I actually met him in person.
“I thanked you, what more do you want me to say?” I snapped, keeping my arms crossed tightly over my breasts.
Sawyer breathed in again like he was exhausted with me.
“Why were you running?” he asked. I crossed my brows at him, pretending like I couldn’t understand his question. In reality, I was buying time.
“Excuse me?” I said.
“When you saw me, you started running like you’d seen a ghost. Why? You couldn’t have been that shocked to see me at this hospital. You know I work here,” he was speaking in an even emotionless tone, but now I was even more worried. I didn’t want him to think that I was at this hospital because of him.
“I was late for an appointment…am late for an appointment. I wasn’t running from you,” I replied, keeping my nose up in the air.
“You weren’t running from me?” he asked, tilting his head to the side like he was talking to a stubborn child.
“No, I wasn’t. Why should I? I hadn't even seen you there,” I stated.
Sawyer allowed my words to hang in the air for a few moments. There was a renewed silence between us. He was thinking. I was hoping that he believed me. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel that I was hung up on him.