Happy…whole.
And now look at me.
I laughed bitterly. I wasn’t ever going to feel whole again, though. And happiness felt just as out of reach.
“You’ll be happy again, Kit.”
Closing my eyes, I pressed the heels of my hands against my eye sockets. “Coll, please stay out of my head, my emotions. I’ve had…me…invaded enough.”
“I…I’m sorry. Damn it, I’m sorry. But it’s just right there and it’s hard for me not to see it.”
Hearing the soft brush of her shoes against the floor, I turned and looked at her.
“I can’t and I won’t tell you that you’re going to get over this,” she said, watching me with sad eyes. “I know better. But I also know you. You’ll pick yourself up…you’re already doing it.”
Was I?
Her fingers brushed my arm.
I reached up and caught her hand in mine. Then I looked back at the tree. “What kind a crazy bastard decorates a tree with weapons?”
“I have to admit, I wondered the same thing when I was watching him. But when he was done, I couldn’t think of anything that would have suited you more.”
Tentatively, she slid an arm around me and I sighed, rested my head against her shoulder. She was taller than me, curvier and I felt like a little girl standing in the embrace of her bigger, wiser sister. Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. We both eyed the presents strewn across the floor.
“You going to open them?”
“No.” I wasn’t ready to do that.
No yet.
I didn’t know if I ever would be. Not any time soon, at least.
I’ll wait…
* * * *
One gift hadn’t been wrapped.
I didn’t see it until after Colleen had left.
She’d offered to stay. And I’d been so tempted to let her. Instead, I’d just asked her to charge the wards, maybe give them an extra kick, then, before I could give in to temptation, I’d told her goodnight and locked the door behind her.
Unable to stay in the living room, staring at the tree, I fled down the hall to my room and that was where I found the other gift.
A blade.
His metal gleamed in the soft light falling in from over my shoulder, dancing along the length of steel, along the grip. I recognized the design right away, but what I couldn’t figure out…how had this blade gone from something I’d only half-worked on for a few minutes one day to this?
I’d been sketching it while I talked to him one day. Doyle had been there. Then Doyle had taken off with the sketch. I hadn’t realized it until later.
Well. I guess that explained the why.
Swallowing around the knot that had decided to take up permanent residence in my throat, I moved into my room and sank to my knees in front of my bed. My fingers shook as I reached out to touch it. Silence roared in my head as my fingers brushed the grip. I’d stopped expecting to hear any music, so it didn’t tear into my heart, although I’d be lying if I tried to pretend I wasn’t disappointed.
But still…the blade. Man. He was beautiful.
His length had the odd gleam unique to silver. It wasn’t pure silver—I already knew that. Silver wasn’t a good metal for swords or knives, not on its own. It’s too soft. But a talented swordsmith can forge a blade with enough silver in it to make it suitable…deadly.
Damon had apparently found a very, very talented swordsmith.
I closed my hand around the grip and lifted it and despite everything, I couldn’t stop from swinging him once, just once. A smile spread across my face at the sound he made, slicing through the air. Maybe I couldn’t hear the music anymore, but this blade made his own song.
The weight of him was different in my hand, the balance something I’d have to get used to. But maybe if I was going to adjust to life without the music of my blades, it would be easier at first if I did it this way.
A new blade. Something that didn’t carry all the memories of the past.
I glanced around and it wasn’t a surprise to see the scabbard lying near the foot of my bed. He’d wanted me to see the blade first, but he’d made sure he had the right tools for me to carry it, too.
“Damn you, Damon,” I whispered, stroking my finger up the blade. I caught the end and bent it, watching it bow just a little and then go back to its sleek, straight length the second I let go. Perfectly balanced. Perfectly forged.
I sheathed him and left the blade lying on the bed. A few months ago, that’s the very spot where Damon would have been.
Instead of the man, I had a piece of forged steel and silver.
The irony wasn’t lost on me.
Chapter Twelve
I wasn’t surprised to see Justin loitering outside my office when I pulled in.
I was actually more surprised by my presence than his.
As the car door opened, I met his gaze across the busted pavement and tried to pretend life was normal. Things were normal. Everything was fine.
Justin did the same and flashed me a wide, wicked smile. It didn’t have the same effect it used to, but I was able to smile back. I pulled the blade from the back seat and slid it into place, acutely aware of the fact that he was watching.
“That’s a new piece,” he said, his voice neutral as he crossed over to stand near the front of the car. He leaned one hip against the banged-up hood and studied the sword for a moment before looking up at me.
“Yeah.” I shrugged restlessly and stroked a finger down the pommel. “It’s new. My other one is still back in Wolf Haven and this…” I finished on another shrug. I wasn’t ready to pick up my old sword until I could hold her without feeling like I was dying inside. I didn’t have to explain that to him, either. He’d know. “I could use some practice with it, though. I’m not as up to speed on fighting with a blade like this as I ought to be. If I can get you a similar one, wanna go a round or two?”
His brow lifted up. “If that’s your way of getting some blood out of me, I guess it’s the least I can do.”
“Ha-ha.” I hauled my bag out of the back. “I called TJ. She’s sending somebody with my gear so I’ll have some sort of practice blade for you later on. You can come back by when you feel like it or I can call.”
He shrugged. “I was sort of thinking about hanging around. If any work comes in, I can help you with it.” His shoulders moved in a restless shrug and he added, “Not going to be doing anything with Banner for a while. Maybe never. Dunno yet. So I’m at loose ends.”
I studied him from under my lashes. “Just what sort of disciplinary action is this, Justin?”
A mean grin curled his lips. “The best kind.” Then he shrugged and looked away. “Don’t worry about it, Kit. They aren’t coming after me and I made my point clear. All’s well and good. I’m just sort of…jobless.”
“Well.” I turned and stared at the empty parking lot. “As you can see, I don’t exactly have a bunch of people storming down my door, Justin. I can’t really see how hanging out here is going to improve your job prospects.”
“Oh, things will turn around for you, Kitty.” He watched me. “They always do.”
“Whether things turn around for me or not, that doesn’t mean I’m looking to take on a partner.”
“Not even for old time’s sake?”
I gave him a baleful look as I started up toward the door to my office. Halfway up the walk, I felt the shimmer of something skitter along my flesh. I recognized the odd presence —strong and female, full of magic. I’d felt this person before. It was the same woman I’d sensed last night, only I hadn’t fully keyed into the fact that she was female.
I’d been in too much of a panic to realize it then.
It wasn’t the were I’d been sensing off and on, either.
One glance at Justin told me that he’d felt it, too. “Any idea who that is?” I asked.
“Nope.” He smiled. “Hey, this is your place of business. I’m just here to…”
“Look pretty?”
I offered.
“Well, until you want to me to do something else, I guess that will work.” He pretended to smooth down his jacket. “She’s female…I can tell that much.”
I lifted a brow. “I can tell that much, Romeo.” I went about unlocking the doors and something about the familiarity of it soothed the jangled mess of nerves inside me. I was at my office. A smart-assed friend was with me. Somebody with magical blood was loitering far too close for comfort. This was all familiar territory. And it was daylight. I was safe as long as there was daylight.
But Jude can come out in the day—
Stop it, I told myself, shoving that fear down deep inside, so deep, so far, I couldn’t even feel it, couldn’t sense it. If I couldn’t, maybe Justin wouldn’t.
The wards whispered away under my touch and I moved inside, stepping away from the door long enough for Justin to move in behind me before I shut the door. I reactivated the wards before doing anything else.
I wasn’t sitting defenseless in my office with some sort of magic thing out there.
“You can’t exactly expect her to come in if you have the wards up,” Justin said, a wry smile on his face.
Absently, I stroked my sword, staring outside, trying to find whoever it was. She hadn’t come close for me to be able to see her yet. Not in the parking lot. Not on the street beyond. “I…”
“Kit. This isn’t how you work,” Justin said quietly.
I turned and stared at him. “I know how I work,” I snapped, jerking my chin up at him. If I wanted to stay in the office with the wards up, then…then…
Shouldering past him, I locked myself in the bathroom and pressed my back to the door. I could do this. I could. I was here, right? I’d come in here, I had a blade on me. I’d left Wolf Haven. I’d done a job already and I’d faced Damon.
Damon’s not the problem.
Of course you’re carrying a blade…you go grabbing at them in the night like a scared pussy.
You left Wolf Haven to shut TJ up. You didn’t do it because you wanted to.
That voice kept nattering over and over in my head. Fisting my hands, I drilled them against my temples in an attempt to drown it out. Shut up shut up shutupshutupshutUP!
A moment of silence passed.
Then…a whisper… You’re stronger than this…we made you stronger…go out there and prove it.
An icy shiver raced down my spine and I dropped my hands. Shoving away from the door, I looked around. Okay. That…that wasn’t right.
We made you stronger?
If I was stronger than this, then I was that way because I had made myself that way. Granted, I didn’t feel very strong right now.
Groaning, I tugged at my hair and shoved off the door. Maybe I was closer to losing it than I thought.
* * * *
A few minutes later, I slipped out of the bathroom.
Without looking at Justin, I deactivated the wards.
Without looking at Justin, I settled behind my desk.
Without looking at Justin, I reached for the pile of mail that had built up.
Normal. I’d just pretend to be nice and normal and do nice and normal things. That’s the ticket.
That’s…
The shimmer of magic hit me stronger.
Rubbing my fingers together, I glanced up toward the window and mentally braced myself. “I don’t like this already.”
Justin had settled down on the busted-up couch and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him pull out his tattered deck of cards. “A job’s a job, right, Kitty?”
Grunting, I pulled out a knife and starting opening mail. Most bills had gone electronic decades ago, but the United States Postal Service wasn’t totally defunct. A lot of high magic users didn’t totally trust E-shit of any kind so they stuck to traditional methods, like mail or courier—that wasn’t a bad thing. Courier work had kept me fed for quite a while.
Another business enterprise that still relied on the USPS? Junk mail. A couple of flyers, a request for my presence at a very important seminar for small business types. Junk, junk and more junk.
Then something that burned when I touched it.
High magic in the mail wasn’t an unusual thing. Since you had to be human to work in most government jobs outside of Banner, sending stuff like this wouldn’t even catch the attention of a postal worker, but it seemed a little weird to waste a spell of this caliber when a courier would have gotten it to me quicker and made the spell unnecessary.
“What’s that?”
Justin had caught the magic coming off it already, moving my way as I leaned back to study it. The envelope looked like something out of another century—like two or three of them past. The handwriting was a broad, elegant scroll and totally unfamiliar. Tapping the edge of it against my desk, I met his gaze.
“It would appear to be an envelope,” I said.
“Ha-ha.” He held out a hand.
“I know how to handle my own mail.” I reached inside a drawer and pulled out a thin strip of leather. On it were a series of beads. It was one of the charms I’d bought from Green Road over the years and like most of the inactive spells, it didn’t do anything until it sensed my touch. Magic lasted longer when it wasn’t constantly wasting its energies. Colleen crafted most of the spells and charms I used and she keyed them all to my touch. Once I touched it, the magic in it hummed to life.
“Too much magic in that thing to rely on a charm,” Justin said.
I shot him a look. “Justin…this isn’t how I work…letting you do the job for me.” I waited until he backed off before I did anything else.
If I was getting a bad vibe from it, I’d let him handle it, but I wasn’t.
There was plenty of power pulsing from the thing, but it was neither malevolent nor harmless. It just…was. Odd as it seemed, the thing just pulsed with power, like it wanted nothing more than to get my attention.
I placed the charm over it and waited.
The beads on it glowed as the magic within flared. Finally, the beads flashed green, signaling it should be safe to proceed. If magic of the nasty, dark kind had been sensed, the beads would have gone black. Scooping up the charm, I dumped it back in the drawer and reached for the envelope.
Justin stood close by and I could feel the tension crawling off him. “Tone it down,” I muttered. He was freaking me out and wasn’t I messed up enough already?
Slipping my knife under the top edge, I broke the seal. Then waited.
Nothing but that steady pulse of magic. Okay. I sliced it open and set my knife aside, blowing out a breath. “I feel like an—” I started to say as I reached inside to pull out the document inside.
I never managed to finish the sentence because magic shrieked, splitting the relative quiet of the morning with a wail like a dying banshee.
Hurling the thing down, I shoved back from my desk and braced myself. Magic built around us, harder, higher, hotter. Tighter—somehow, the feel of the magic grew tighter, wrapping around us like a bubble. Oh, hell, I hope that bubble didn’t pop with us inside.
I put myself at Justin’s side, noting yet again that the silver on his sleeves had started to spark. His dreads whipped around in an unseen wind. “What the hell is this?” I asked, but my voice was lost in the magic maelstrom.
“Old magic,” he shouted. “Not felt anything like it in a while. Just stay by me.”
I felt the odd, static warmth of his magic wrap around me—it had a strange, metallic sort of feel and made me think of blades clashing, shields flashing in the morning sun.
The two magics built and built—that foreign presence that I didn’t like at all and Justin’s familiar magic, like a giant warrior mantling over us, shield lifted and ready.
And then, as abruptly as it had started, it died. It didn’t fade; it just ended.
Justin cut a dark look my way and snapped, “Next time I tell you there’s too much magic to trust to a charm, will you listen? You know blades. I know magic and—”
I put a hand on his arm.
Somebody was coming.
I could hear her.
Felt each footstep like an echo on my soul.
“Not now,” I said, keeping my voice low as I shifted my attention to the door.
As one, as though we’d rehearsed it a hundred times, we moved back to where we’d been. Justin’s protections didn’t lower, though—that strange, mantling sort of shield stayed up and ready and I was damn thankful as I settled behind my desk and pretended to study the sheet of parchment in front of me.
The note on it was simple. It filled me with an odd sort of revulsion and curiosity.
Glad to see you’re still open for business. I’ll be there shortly to discuss a job.
I.
That was all.
I.
Okay.
Who is I.?
The door opened and I looked up. Guess it was time to find out.
Chapter Thirteen
The woman standing there was nobody I’d ever met before and the power I’d sensed in her wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg. If she’d turned around and walked right out, I would have been just fine with that, too. She made my teeth ache.
Plucking up the piece of parchment, I held it aloft and met her gaze. “Your handiwork?”
“It is.” She glanced around and lifted a hand, touching it the door jam. “May I enter?”
The question bothered me. She wasn’t a vampire, but most people didn’t ask to enter a place of business…not if they weren’t vamp or vamp-affiliated.
Leaning back, I kept my hands on the arms of the chair, trying to get a better read on her. I couldn’t. All I could get was old and powerful. “You got a name…something other than I?”
A smile flirted with the corners of her mouth as she continued to stand there, just outside the door. “I do. You can call me Isidore.”
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