“The woman you loved is dead, Rush.”
“No, she’s not. She’s in there. I know it.”
Denny rubbed her temples. “She...I’m not that person anymore, Rush. I think and do things that are violent and angry. I kill shit, for God’s sake.” She looked up at Rush. “That’s what I am now. A killer. And I’ll use anyone and anything to protect my family from those bastards.”
“Even a child?”
“Anyone.”
Rush knelt in front of Denny. “But that’s not the core of who you are, baby. The core of Golden Silver is kind and sweet, nurturing and giving. You have a tender heart and a loving soul. You’ve just let that demon within take up more real estate than you should, but you’re ultimately in control, love. You have to remember that.”
Denny looked down into the soft features of the only woman she’d ever let inside her heart. “You think I want to feel these things, that I want to––”
“I think you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re so busy running around protecting everyone, you haven’t taken the time to learn how to control it.”
“The Hanta?”
Rush shook her head. “The feelings. You’re a lot like the Incredible Hulk. Once your emotional state overcomes you, the door to the Hanta’s room opens. Your mother used tai chi and meditation to combat that and keep the door closed.”
Denny stared.
“I watched your mom a lot, Denny. She was...is...a fascinating and brave woman who accepted the Hanta responsibility with her shoulders thrown back. She refused to allow it permanent residence in her heart.”
Denny cast her eyes at the floor. “And you think I’ve let it move right in.”
“Oh, love, it’s not your fault. It’s not like you were prepared for this.”
“Isn’t that the truth? It’s been a game changer.” Denny looked into Rush’s face.
“But it doesn’t have to be. You have the ability to pull up the reins and take charge. You just haven’t taken the time to learn how yet.”
Denny looked up at her. “But I need to.”
Rush smiled at her. “Yes, yes you do. But not right now. Right now, you need to get that prick off your back. I understand that, but you can’t go around picking fights with demons who could kick your ass into next week.”
Denny stared into Rush’s eyes for a long time. “I’ve really missed you––missed us.”
“‘Us’ is right here. It just looks a little different is all. I’m right here, baby. I’ll always be right here. On that, you have my word.”
“I appreciate that. I really do.”
“There’s one more thing, love. Whenever your mom needed to know something she couldn’t find in the lair, she went to the one who knows the entire history of the legacy.”
Denny stared at her. “You don’t mean…”
Rush nodded. “Your demon knows everything. You share the same body, but you share much more than that. Try it. It can’t hurt.”
“That’s brilliant.”
“Maybe, but I can’t hang around to watch. It used to give your mom a terrific headache.”
And then she was gone, leaving Denny with the first tome of nearly a dozen to get through.
She didn’t have this kind of time.
Shelving the book once again, she fingered the spines. “You know, I may not know which history to look up, but you know, don’t you? Rush is right. You’ve had a front row seat to this whole game.”
Closing her eyes, Denny opened her mind and allowed the Hanta access into her life. She could feel it, like a drug creeping into her system, and it slowly woke up and accepted the invitation.
“You know what I want––what I need––where will I find the information I need about you and my legacy? Where. Is. It?”
Keeping her eyes closed, she felt the door to the Hanta’s room open as if it were peeking out. She would control this thing. She had to.
Opening her eyes, she studied the spines of the books, all the while feeling the demon tremble inside her.
Tremble?
What was in these books that would make the demon feel afraid?
“Come on, you pussy. Step up here. We’re gonna fix this thing once and for all.” Denny allowed the door within her to open slightly more. “You can do it.”
Waiting as still as she could, barely breathing, she felt the demon take over and, ever so slowly, she walked across the small room, her left hand rising, and pulled out a book titled Here and Now.“No, no, that can’t be––”
A clicking sound from behind her made her turn around. When she moved to the bookshelf that held The Histories, she realized a false wall had opened a couple of inches.
“No way. Seriously? Gee, Rush, ya think you could have told me?”
Rush’s sudden appearance surprised her. “You know, Denny Silver, I may have lain with you and done all sorts of erotic maneuvers with you, but even my deep, deep love for you doesn’t negate the promises I made to your mother years ago.”
“You promised my mother––”
“That I would never tell you where anything was or help you out in any way where the lair is concerned. She said finding out progressively was the only way to truly make the lair your own.”
“Gee thanks––”
“You don’t understand. These lairs...they are not just places or libraries, or even secret alcoves. They are organic.”
“Organic? You mean like––”
“Like a living organism, yes, and each one connects to the others.”
“I thought you couldn’t tell me.”’
“I can’t tell you any details about this lair, but I made no such promise about the generalities. I’m surprised Ames Walker hasn’t mentioned it.”
“Yeah, well he’s pretty tightlipped about a lot.”
“Just don’t ask me to break any promises I made to Gwen because I won’t do it. Not even for you, love. She trusted me with a great many secrets, and I intend on keeping those promises.”
“Being organic and connected explains why we’re able to read each other’s entries...why the blood ink.” Denny nodded. “It’s beginning to make a little more sense.”
Rush moved through the wall and into a room almost as large as the lair.
Denny slowly took the room in. The rectangular space measured about ten by ten, with a small bookcase on the left. Three large steamer trunks lined the wall on the right and a single highback leather chair with brass tacks sat in the corner beneath an electric lamp. The room looked like something out of the Victorian era.
“What the hell?”
Rush hovered just off the ground. “The lair’s job is to protect knowledge, to convey wisdom, and to keep secrets. This is the room which does all three.”
Denny walked into the room and a motion sensor flicked on a row of overhead lights.
“Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any weirder.” She turned her head sideways so she could read the spines.
“These are the real Die Geschichten.”
Rush hovered next to her. “Apparently. Gwen came in here to read all the time.”
“And here are all of Mom’s other journals.” Denny counted a dozen leather-bound diaries. “She was busy.”
“Yes, she was, but not doing what you think. Keep looking around.”
Denny walked over to the three trunks and carefully opened the one on the left.
“Oh wow.” Denny pulled out a three-foot long cylinder. “What have we here?”
“Don’t mess with it in here, Den. Wait until Ames sees it. You don’t want to chop off an arm or a leg.”
Denny set the cylinder aside and pulled out a tattered leather jacket. “I don’t remember ever seeing her wear this.”
“She only wore it at night when she went out. Like you do. That was her favorite fighting gear.”
Denny tried it on. It was a little big on her, but it felt so good knowing it once covered Gwen’s skin. “How do I look?”
&nb
sp; “Like a little girl playing dress up. Your mom isn’t that much bigger than you.”
Digging into the trunk, she found a metallic-like blanket, a pendant, a ring, a baseball cap, three fountain pens, and a pair of reading glasses.
“You hit the mother lode.”
“That would be true if I knew what the hell all of this was...”
“Why don’t we see what’s in the other two?”
Denny tried to open one, but found it locked.
“Do you see a latch?”
Rush looked all around it. “I don’t.”
“Can you go inside and see how to unlock it?”
“Sure.”
But the moment Rush’s essence touched the trunk, some electrical force sent her flying through the outer wall of the house.
“Rush?” Denny backed away from the last two trunks.
“Jesus H. on a raft, what was that?” Rush returned through the same wall she’d been ejected through. “Sweet Jesus, that didn’t feel very good.” Rush floated over to the trunk but did not touch it. “Some sort of security device, I suppose.”
“No shit. I’ll have to figure those two out later. Right now, I need the information in these books.”
“You gonna call the Hanta?”
“I have to. It’s the only one who knows what I’m looking for.”
Rush moved closer. “Don’t trust it, Den. It’s a demon, after all. It has its own agenda.”
“You know a helluva lot more about it than I realized.”
“And some day, I’ll tell you all about it, but right now, you need to summon it and I need to get the hell out of here.”
“It makes you that nervous?”
Rush slowly faded. “No, Denny, my love. You make me that nervous.”
The Histories
Twelfth Century
The exorcism complete, I, Magdalena Von Richtenberg, cast the demon into the night, but it turned on me, entering me and taking up residence.
Not one person knows.
Not even she who dwells in the bosom of the Lord.
Last eve, he came to me as I slept and explained his evil mission. He is to kill her as a means of weakening the Church. His singular goal is to destroy her before she becomes the woman she will one day be.
I tried to reason with him. Reasoning with a demon who has possessed me was a girlish notion. He intends to use me to do his vile work. I must leave the safety of the abbey and travel as far away and as fast as I can from here. I stop now only to write this down should anything befall either of us.
He seemed afraid, unsure. I believe he is a young demon sent by his Master to do a simple job of killing a simple woman.
But she is not just any woman and I have no intention of being part of such a plan.
He told me he need only kill her and then he will go on his way, never to bother me or mine again.
What fool would believe a demon?
Surely, I do not and I told him thusly. When I explained to him I well knew his Master, he appeared surprised.
“You are but a pawn to him, demon. He cares not for you––only for what you can do for him.”
This gave him pause, I believe. It appeared that way...of course, he is young and as gullible as the living.
When I asked him what his Master wished, he said it was to weaken the Church’s hold on mankind. He said his Master found it difficult to recruit his underlings now that the Church has become so powerful.
Aye, he said underlings.
I pointed out that he was one such minion. He liked that not at all. I tried to convince him to find another master or to be his own Master.
He rather liked that idea.
Before the dream ended, he bade me not to leave the abbey until he had time to think on his options.
I agreed, but I ended saying, “If you still wish to kill her, I will throw myself from the roof before that will happen. What will your Master do to you then?”
When I woke up, I felt him only slightly. Perhaps he had listened to my reasoning.
I am packed and ready for the long trip from here in the event that he chooses to complete his mission.
All I can say is I have prayed on it and I know with utmost clarity:
I will not kill Hildegarde von Bingen.
Denny stared at the name. “Who the hell is she?”
Leaving the secret room she now referred to as the sanctuary and re-entering the lair, she pulled up information from her laptop on one Hildegarde von Bingen and then dialed Lauren’s number.
“I need your help.” Denny said the moment Lauren answered the phone.
“You don’t sleep anymore, do you?”
“I need info on a Hildegarde von Bingen.”
“The nun?”
“You’ve heard of her?”
“You would, too, if you were still in college.”
Denny rolled her eyes. She could hear Lauren’s fingers on the keyboard.
“Okay, I’ve got a brief bio on her that I’m emailing you. Easy reading.”
“Brief bio? Is there an extended version?”
Lauren made a derisive sound. “Absolutely. This woman...she was amazing. The crap she did for a woman in that time was remarkable. Read up on your email, but don’t stop there. Listen to her music.”
“Her what?”
Lauren laughed. “Read the bio. Call me if you need me to fill in the blanks. And please try to sleep like a normal person.”
“No idea what you’re talking about. Thanks.” Leaning over the desk, she opened her email and read the post Lauren had sent.
“Read it out loud.” Rush appeared. She was wearing a leather catwoman suit.
“Nice outfit.”
“I just want to fit in––you know––Team Denny and all.”
Denny smiled. “Welcome, then, to the team.”
“Read, please.” Rush hovered a moment before lighting on the top of the desk.
Denny leaned over and started reading. “Hildegarde von Bingen, ten ninety-eight to eleven seventy-nine. She was a German writer, composer, philosopher, mystic, abbess, visionary and polymath.” Denny looked at Rush. “Really? A woman in the twelfth century did all that?”“She sounds incredibly talented.”
“There’s more. She wrote theological, botanical and medicinal texts, as well as poems, songs and letters to popes and emperors.” Denny read more.
“She keeps impressing me more and more.”
“Yeah. Pretty prolific. Oh, this is good. Here’s a great quote: ‘Woman may be made from man, but no man can be made without woman.’”
“A lesbian?” Rush asked.
“More like a feminist, maybe? She even went on speaking gigs, unheard of in the twelfth century, I’m sure.”
“So, what’s this about?”
“According to my histories, if they are, in fact, mine, my Hanta was charged with killing her before she could accomplish all of this.”
“The reason why your family ended up with this lovely legacy?”
“You think that’s what happened? You think Magdalena refused and in doing so, cursed us forever?”
“Something did, baby.”
“Why don’t we find out?” Denny moved back to the Sanctuary and continued reading.
The Histories
Twelfth Century
It has been ten days since I last wrote and there is much to tell. The demon within is called a Hanta Raya. They typically are handed down from one generation to the next...a curse for the family chosen.
Since I have chosen to be God’s bride, I am perfect for this legacy. It will die with me, but he need not know that. All he needs to know is that he is expendable to his Master. Pathetic fool of a demon. They are all expendable once they are of no use.
After a week, when he realized I would never take her life, he came back to me and told me he would allow me to live as long as I agreed to let the legacy take root within me. All I need do is agree to a few stipulations and he would release me from any notion of kill
ing Hildegarde.
I, of course, agreed. I agreed to care for myself, to document my trials, and to hunt for other demons roaming the earth. If I am willing to destroy other demons in order to feed the one within me, then I’ll not have to destroy another human. It seems little price to pay to save Hildegarde.
Save Hildegarde.
It has now become the second most important role I have on this earth, behind serving our Lord, and if allowing this demon inside me to destroy other demons will keep her safe, then that is precisely what I shall do. My Lord will care for me. My Lord will protect me.
I suppose his Master could send others after her if he wanted. According to my research, Asmodeus enjoys playing games with humans so much and so often, he might not remember sending my demon after Hildegarde for weeks, or even months, or even years.
All I know is that I must get as far away from her as possible, and if the Hanta has decided to allow this, then the Lord has heard my prayers. I shall exchange my life for hers by agreeing to serve as host for this Hanta Raya. This great demon.
Now, all I need do is leave the abbey, the city, the country, and pray the Lord watch over her. She has so much to offer. I am certain she will do great things.
Denny looked up at Rush. “Well, that was an understatement.”
“Ya think? She gave up her life and her career as a nun to save Hildegard, but it looks like our little nun didn’t stay married to the Lord, did she?”
Denny flipped through the book and quickly scanned several passages. “Looks like she left the abbey and moved to Paris.”
“Oh, good choice. I’ve always wanted to go.”
Denny glanced up, but didn’t reply. “She fell in love with a young man and had his child.”
“Starting the legacy she thought she would end with her.”
“Right. In the meantime, the Hanta betrayed Asmodeus by not killing a woman who may have single-handedly kept the Catholic Church alive in this early part of the twelfth century.”
“Wait. Wait. If Ass-mo wanted a twelfth century woman killed, he must have known she would do great things. Can they...can they see into the future?”
The Demon Within (The Silver Legacy Book 2) Page 21