by Lily Zante
She pulls her curlers out and primps her hair. “It’s nice to make an effort. I’m sick of always hanging around in the diner.”
But she doesn’t always hang around in the diner. She goes out a lot, especially now that she’s with Rhys. She socializes much more than I do. That’s more my fault, because I’m a hermit. I prefer my own company.
“I don’t have those lovely job perks like you do.”
“Job perks?” I ask, not understanding.
“I don’t get to drop lunch off for Callum Sandersby. You do.” She waves her hairbrush at me. “Can you at least put some lipstick on before we go?”
“I didn’t bring anything with me.”
“Don’t you carry make up with you?” She looks at me as if I’ve killed someone.
“No, I usually go home.”
“Here,” she rummages around in her make up bag and throws me a lipstick. I open it up, see that’s is a gaudy red color and swivel it back down again. I’m not putting this on.
“What do the two of you talk about?” she asks.
“We don’t talk about anything much.” Not that its any of her business. “I drop his food off, and I leave.”
“Why do you think he asked for you?”
If she had asked me yesterday, I might have considered my alternate wishful reason behind Callum’s request. I might not have said it out loud to Joni, but I would at least have considered it. But now I know the truth, and still, I’m not about to tell her. “I don’t know.”
“For someone who’s meant to be clever, going to all those night classes like you do, I’m surprised you haven’t worked it out yet.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t you see the connection? Elias is the boxing heavyweight champion, and Callum’s making a boxing film.”
“Right. That’s what it must be.” How can I so easily forget that Joni isn’t a good friend?
“Scott’s crazy about you and you don’t give him the time of day.”
“I don’t have those feelings for him.”
“You’ve always thought you’re better than everyone else.”
We’ve had this argument many times, and I’m not going to get into another row with her about it now. “I see Scott as a friend.”
“How do you know that when you haven’t given the poor guy a chance?”
Because I’m not interested. Because I haven’t felt any remote hint of attraction. I have no interest in trying to get her to see my point of view because she won’t understand. If I’m overly picky about who I allow into my life, she’s the total opposite. She’s never turned down a single guy who’s asked her out.
“Callum’s way out of your league,” Joni tells me.
“Thanks for pointing that out.”
“I don’t mean it like that. I mean that Scott is more on your level. I’m just doing you a favor. Someone’s got to tell you.”
“I can figure it out myself, thank you.”
She opens her mouth as if she’s realized she’s being overly malicious—even for her. “I don’t want you to make a fool of yourself.”
“Thanks for watching my back.” I’m taken aback, not by her words so much, as by the venom in her voice. “Even Rhys agrees.”
“He would.”
“I’d hate to see you making a fool of yourself, Nina.”
“Nice of you to be so concerned but we both know Callum isn’t interested in me. He’s just using me because of Elias, remember?” My sarcasm is lost on her as she applies her red lipstick slowly, “I was worried that you might think he’s into you. Chasing you …” She presses her lips together and carries on talking but I’ve stopped listening.
Chasing me.
The words send fear shooting through my veins. I can almost hear the janitor counting to fifty real fast.
“But,” Joni turns to me. “A guy like him, he probably sees you as a challenge only because you play so hard to get.”
“Thanks.” What a great friend to have.
I lower my head, and instinctively tighten my stomach. Like the way I used to when that man used to tell me it was time to go down to the basement. I didn’t know it then, but I was putting up my own human shield, made out of my own skin and muscles, tightening, bracing my body against his invasion.
“Hey. Don’t look so upset.” Joni touches my arm.
“Huh?” I jerk my head up. Force myself back to normality, like I used to when I’d emerge from the basement, feeling like a dirty little rag. When Elias would ask me where I had been. All I could think was that I had done something that would keep him safe from that evil man, and that he would never do to Elias what he had done to me.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Nina.”
“I’m won’t.” I think about the blade against my skin. Slicing into my flesh gives me a release. I tell myself that it’s all the badness. All my sins, and dirt seeping out.
“Are you okay? You’ve been acting really weird, lately.” She lifts my chin up with her finger. “I’m sorry if it’s not what you want to hear, but I don’t want you to go around thinking that Callum Sandersby is into you.”
“I don’t need you to tell me.” The evening has suddenly gone from a supposed fun night out, to something else. When the doorbell rings, I glance at her, startled. “Who’s that?”
“Probably Rhys.” She slips on her jacket.
“What?” No wonder she’s getting all dolled up. “Is he coming? You said it was only you and me.”
“It was, but Rhys wants to watch the movie.”
“But I don’t want to watch it with him.”
“Scott’s coming too. He’s meeting us there.”
“You invited him?” “
“He’s meeting us there.”
“Really?” I scoff.
“Why are you so angry?” she asks, then, without waiting for my answer, “I need to go to the loo. Could you get that?”
My stomach churns when the doorbell rings again.
“Can you get that?” Joni cries, as she disappears into the washroom. I want to run the heck out of here and go home.
“It was supposed to be you and me,” I groan to myself as I walk towards the door.
“Joni’s getting ready,” I say, as soon as Rhys walks in. I can’t get it out of my head, that indelible image of him with Joni at the party.
“Scott’s gonna be happy,” he says, grinning at me like a predatory shark. I take a step back, and I must have moved too soon, because it’s given him the advantage. He can smell my fear.
He sniffs, as he walks towards me. “Do I smell?” he asks, ducking his head under his arms, not unlike a Neanderthal. I glance towards the hallway, willing Joni to hurry the hell up and get over here.
His face is close to mine, and my back is flat against the wall. I can smell his body odor, and his breath.
It takes me back, way, way, way back, and I feel like my eight year old self again. Helpless, and lost, and so, so scared. I feel as if I’m going to pee myself.
Rhys smiles at me, then lays his hand flat against my belly. I am terrified that it will slip lower, like the janitor’s hand used to. I clench my legs together.
“You want some?” he whispers.
I manage to exhale, but I can’t find my voice. I know, at some deep, low, survival level, that I am not supposed to talk back.
“You want some of what I gave Joni? She squeals like a pig when she comes. I bet you don’t make that noise. I bet you don’t even sweat. I bet you sparkle, or some shit like that. You’ve got a little more class.”
I release a breath.
“Is that the noise you make?” he asks, grinning. “‘Cause it gave me a stiffie.” He tries to thrust his hand between my legs, but I grip his wrist super tight. His eyes widen in surprise. “Gotta lotta strength in you, given that you’re so tiny.” He licks my neck. I recoil in disgust and I turn my face to the side, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. I can feel his hand resting on my body and I’m thankful that I’m we
aring jeans.
“Baby!” Joni’s voice floats over from the distance. In the time it takes for her to appear into view, Rhys strides towards Joni and clamps his mouth to hers. She makes a moaning sound. I flinch at the sight of her with him. Moving away, I suddenly have trouble swallowing. My throat feels like its burning and suddenly, I don’t feel so great anymore.
“I don’t feel so good,” I announce, in a shaky voice. My heart rate rockets and I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Joni looks annoyed. “Are you upset because of what I said about Callum?”
“That actor dude?” Rhys asks.
“I don’t feel well,” I answer. She has no idea. She never will. She can’t see the pig of a man she’s with for who he really is, and she will never understand the scars I have to live with.
“You’re upset.” Joni tries to put her hand on my arm, but I shake it off.
“I’m not. I really don’t feel too good.” My stomach twists and heaves as if I’ve eaten something well past it’s best before date.
Joni won’t give it up. “All of a sudden you don’t want to come? Is it because of Scott?”
“Give the poor guy a chance,” Rhys drawls over her shoulder. I can see him grinning at me behind Joni’s back.
“It’s not Scott that’s the problem,” I fix him with a pointed stare. I grab my bag and walk out, just in time to hear Joni say, “She’s upset because I told her that Callum Sandersby isn’t into her.”
The last thing I hear as I close the door is the sound of Rhys laughing.
Chapter Twenty
CALLUM
* * *
We’re in a fancy restaurant with a group of people from the set. I didn’t really want to come but it’s someone’s birthday, which is the only reason I’m out.
We’ve ordered desert, and I stick around for it, but don’t order anything. After this they want to go for drinks in the bar. I want to get back to my suite. We shot some brutal fighting scenes in the ring earlier and I got beaten to an inch of my death. My ribs started to hurt and I’ve got a slight cut on my upper lip. I’m exhausted and all I want to do is sit in a salt bath.
“Try some of this cheesecake,” the girl to my right says, lifting the fork to my mouth. I push her hand away.
“I need to maintain my physique,” I explain.
“You’re looking pretty good to me, Cal.” She smiles at me, and there’s a world of suggestion on her lips.
I sat through dinner eating salad and tuna. How boxers eat this forever, beats me. It would be enough for me to want a change of career.
I yawn. It’s odd how that happens. I’m not even tired, but I need to make an exit otherwise I’ll end up going to the bar with this bunch of guys, and as nice as they are, I see them all day long on the set. I want a break. I consider talking to Nina, because having a conversation with her can be a challenge, and I’m sick of being surrounded by ‘yes’ men, and women.
“I’m going back,” I announce fully yawning now.
“Already?” The girl to my right whines.
“He’s a lightweight,” the girl on the left states, jabbing me lightly in the ribs.
“I am a lightweight,” I say, nodding. We’re sitting around a circular booth, and I get her and the person next to her to move out of the way.
“Are you leaving, Cal?” someone shouts.
“I got beat. Can’t you see?” I point to my lip. I yawn again, as if my built-in radar needs to get the message home. “I’m outta here. See you guys tomorrow.”
“Bright and early. We have extra scenes to redo.”
I wave as I walk out.
Milkshake from Frankie’s Kitchen. That’s what I suddenly develop a thirst for. My cell phone vibrates in my pocket and when I fish it out, I smile, but I’m also puzzled.
It’s Harper, and I wonder how she got my number.
“Am I disturbing you?” she asks.
“No. We were having dinner, well, dessert, really.”
“We?”
“The guys on set.”
“Oh, okay. I called to let you know that you’ve been invited to a party at City Hall.”
“A party?”
“Eli’s promoter is putting on an event, for Eli, publicity and all that. You know how these things work.”
I’ve seen posters going up about the rematch next month. A couple of the guys on set were talking about it. But to be at a party where Elias will be? I’m beyond ecstatic. Maybe I should tell Rudy? He needs to know about all possible publicity events, even though this is a private event. I’m going as a guest of Elias, not as a means of promoting ‘Death of a Legend.’
“I know all too well, unfortunately.”
“Can you make it?”
Can I make it? Hell yes! “Sure.” I’ll get a good opportunity to talk to Elias. He might even be civil to me this time. “Thanks. But will Elias be okay with me being there?” I laugh to make light of my hesitation. “Because I remember that he wasn’t so friendly last time we met. “
“He was the one to suggest I invite you.”
Now that’s interesting.
“The only reason I’m calling you instead of Elias doing it, is because he’s not the type of guy to pick up the phone and make small talk.”
“And, he’s obviously got more pressing concerns,” I add.
Harper laughs. “That too.”
I’m not fully convinced Elias is entirely behind the invite. My gut tells me it’s Harper. “I’m thrilled that you called.”
“It will be nice to see you again,” says Harper, and I’m suddenly not sure of her motive for asking me. People are always nice and courteous towards me. Women can’t seem to do enough to please me. It’s only the Cardozas that I can’t get to like me.
“Well, thanks. It will be good to see you guys.” I reply.
“I’ll text you the details. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I got your number from Frankie.”
“Cool.”
“There’s no formal invite. It’s all word of mouth, and only a few select people are invited.”
A few select people. I’m honored to be counted among such company, especially given the fact that this is Elias’s event and his crowd.
“As long as you’re sure that Elias isn’t going to be pissed off when he sees me.”
Harper laughs. “He’s really not that bad.”
“Easy enough for you to say.”
“Did you want to bring a friend?”
“A friend?” Now I’m getting really scared. Is she fishing for information about my status? It would depend on who’s asking. Harper’s pretty friendly but I really don’t want to get involved with the girlfriend of the current world heavyweight champion. I never want to get involved with anyone’s girlfriend, but least of all a boxing champ. The guy would kill me if he ever suspected anything—not that I have any interest in her. At all. Or will, ever.
“I have to let security know so they can let you both in.”
“It will just be me,” I tell her. “Will Nina be there?”
“I hope so. We asked her.”
“But will she turn up? It’s not a night school night, is it?”
“You seem to know a lot about her timetable.” There is a touch of amusement in Harper’s voice.
“She’s the only person I’ll know there.”
“She’ll be there,” Harper tells me, “and she also doesn’t have anyone to bring along, so...”
This reassures me on two levels. First of all, I’m relieved to hear that Nina doesn’t have a boyfriend, and secondly, I think Harper might be trying to get me and Nina together. Maybe Nina hinted to her that she likes me, and this is Harper’s way of getting us together. Maybe this is it. Nina likes me and this is her way of letting me know. I have to admit our daily meetings at lunchtime are getting more relaxed now, though I didn’t see her today. She gave my lunch to Dottie. I’d say I was making progress. Slow and painful but it’s still progress. “I’m looking forward to it.”
&
nbsp; “I’ll text you the details and time.”
“I’ll be there.”
I hang up and my brain goes into overdrive.
Nina is one of those women who doesn’t want to show that she’s got the hots for me. Now I get it. I understand her game. I’m so used to women throwing themselves at me, and their over-the-top admiration for me often leaves me feeling embarrassed, more for them than for me.
Nina isn’t that type of woman. That’s not her style. She’s more subtle.
I can hardly wait.
I leave the restaurant and get a cab straight to the diner. I want to see Nina’s reaction when I tell her I’m going to Elias’s event.
I’ve got on my baseball cap and shades, which I guess look conspicuous given that it’s dark outside. The diner is quite empty as I look around and see different waitresses here tonight. No sign of Nina, or her friend. But Frankie is here. A few heads turn as I glide into a booth at one end of the diner and order a milkshake. A short while later, Frankie comes over looking all smug and cheery. “Are you looking for anyone in particular?”
“Me? No.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“Thanks, but I’ve already ordered.”
“The daily lunch delivery not enough?” she asks, with a smile.
“The daily lunch delivery is working out very well. Thanks for arranging that.”
“Happy to help.”
A waitress brings me my milkshake. “You decided to come here at this time, for only a milkshake? Don’t you want to eat something?”
I explain that I’ve already had dinner, then I take a loud slurp of my milkshake, and sigh in contentment. “It’s damn good. Worth taking the cab to get here.”
Frankie is still hovering around my table. “Sit down, please. Join me.” I motion for her to take a seat.
She obliges, then says, “She’s not working tonight.”
“I never asked.”
“Your eyes did,”
“You don’t miss a thing, Frankie.”