by Lily Zante
The camera catches Harper. She’s holding her hands up to her mouth, fear swimming in her eyes. My heart skips a beat when I see Nina alongside her. I know that look. Of blame, and guilt.
I frown. This isn’t her fault.
I call her, even though we couldn’t hear one another last time. Her cell phone rings and rings and rings, but she never answers.
I watch in horror as a jubilant Garrison is being lifted on shoulders, showing off the many belts.
I don’t even want to think what Elias is going through. Like they do, the journalists and the papers, they built him up soon after his first win against Garrison—hard not to when he had achieved such a phenomenal win. But in recent weeks I’ve seen the tabloid press throwing digs at him, doubting whether he was a champion at all and making him out to be a one hit wonder.
Now they will tear him to shreds.
Who we saw tonight, that wasn’t the Elias we all know. The man I know is a beast. A fighting machine. A monster, full of rage, at least that’s how I remember the guy in that first unforgettable fight with Garrison.
My thoughts are with the Nina and Elias, and I wish I hadn’t let Rudy dick me over.
This is not where I wanted to be tonight. I should have been in The Garden. I should have been there for Nina.
Chapter Fifty-Three
NINA
* * *
“I need to see him.” Harper and I wait outside Elias’s locker room. He’s been in there with the doctor for a good while now. Jake and Santos are outside with us. I hear them talking. They’re saying out loud the things I’ve been thinking.
“What happened?”
“He fell apart out there.”
“Never seen him lose it like that before.”
“How did he lose so badly?”
“His head wasn’t in the game.”
I walk away, hanging my head in misery. I did this to him.
Me.
I know where his head was. I know why he couldn’t get it together.
Because of me.
I feel an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself.” Harper hugs me. “Nina,” she rests her head on my shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up about this. Not after everything you’ve been through.”
“But it was because of me.” I know. I fell apart when I found out about him. It took me days to get myself together and I was just a waitress, a woman going to different night classes trying to keep busy, trying to keep it together. Elias had to step into a ring with a man who wanted to finish him. He had the world’s eyes on him. I had the luxury of breaking down in private. Elias didn’t. He couldn’t get it together. He got beat up instead because he couldn’t fight back, and now the press will slaughter him.
They will think he’s the one hit wonder.
I know where Elias’s head was.
We deal with these things in our own ways. Elias dealt with it by fighting. He would always fight—street fights, underground fights—whatever it took to use up the anger inside him.
He was just starting to get his life together, and now they will break him. Except that Elias is unbreakable. He’s stronger than me, but still, I worry what will happen to him. How he will deal with such a public failing. He took a real beating, and each time he watches that fight, he’ll hate himself for it.
All because of me.
“You can go in,” Santos comes over to tell us and Harper rushes off.
“How bad is he?” I ask him.
“The doc says he’s gonna be fine. Nothing fatal.”
That lifts my spirits. As we walk in, Harper has her arms around Elias’s waist. She’s holding him tenderly, as if she’s afraid he might break.
I let them have their time and speak to Lou. He tells me Elias has a suspected mild concussion and the usual cuts and bruises. Nothing too serious. “I don’t know what happened out there.” Lou looks as bewildered as I feel. “He trained harder, better and longer for this one. More than he did for the last fight. He was ready. The best I’ve ever seen him.” He rakes a hand over his neck. “He lost it completely.”
I know what happened. Guilt rolls over me like a deadly tsunami. I rest against a wall, glancing at Elias, unsure of whether he wants to see me or not. Wondering if the sight of me will bring back too many memories, and worse now—guilt.
For there is guilt. I let the janitor do what he wanted so that I could save Elias. I’m sure that monster would have said the same thing to him. Elias has gone through his whole life the way I did, putting himself in harm’s way in the belief that it would save me. To discover the opposite is like drinking a poison slowly, rotting the flesh, constricting the airways, dealing a slow fatal blow.
“Go to him.” Harper walks up to me. “He needs you.”
Does he? I’m not so sure. I step towards him, my heart breaking into a million pieces. Elias is the picture of everything he wasn’t supposed to be tonight. His eye is cut and it looks like he has butterfly stitches holding it together. His body is still bloody.
“Hey.” I want to hug him and make everything be okay for him. I try to hold myself together, but it is hard to do that when Elias looks so broken. It’s not the state of him that crushes me—the purple-ish bruises, and the battered body—it’s the look of utter defeat in his eyes. “The doc says you’re going to be okay,” I say, feeling like a stranger grappling to find the right words of comfort.
“I’m going to be.” His voice is low, husky. He sounds shattered. His heart and soul are crushed. For all his life he wanted to prove that he had what it takes. He wanted to show people who never so much as glanced his way. And he did with his first fight, and now he wanted to shore that up with a solid second win. He wanted to put the haters and doubters to rest, but now he will feel as if he’s failed. Worse, he might even start to believe that he was only a one-hit wonder.
“This is … “ I swallow, but my mouth has turned dry. “This is all my fault.” But Elias isn’t even looking at me. His expression is vacant. I’m suddenly not sure that he’s fine. He’s gone. It’s like he can’t even hear me.
“Are you sure he’s okay?” I ask Lou. “Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital, get him properly checked out?”
“The doctor did.” But Lou’s assurances don’t help assuage my worry. Elias’s eyes are dark, and hard, like glistening flint.
“You need to rest, young man,” Lou tells him.
“Nah.” Elias wipes the back of his hand over his bloodied nose, and it starts to bleed again. Harper rushes towards him with a tissue and the white paper soon turns red. “I got this,” I hear him say.
I get that he is mad, yet I want him to tell me that it’s not my fault. I need some sort of reassurance from him, even though I know it was all because of me. I’m starting to feel lost again. Lost and rudderless. A failure and a waste of space.
“We should go,” Santos tells me.
I walk away, desperate to leave. Each moment I stand here only reminds Elias of the things he would rather not remember.
“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Harper asks, lowering her voice as she touches my arm. “I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
“Is Callum not coming at all?”
“Something came up.”
“Where are you staying?”
I mumble my hotel name at her.
“I’ll come and see you tomorrow. You’ll still be here tomorrow morning, won’t you?”
I’m touched by her concern for me. “Don’t worry about me. Take care of Elias. He’s the one you need to worry about.”
Chapter Fifty-Four
CALLUM
* * *
“What the hell?”
I glower at the headlines of the paper on the newsstand. Pulling down my baseball cap, I survey the blatant lies.
Callum and Alyssa Back Together
* * *
Hollywood’s Hottest Couple Share Cozy Dinner
* * *
Alyssa Forgives the One
Night Stand
* * *
He Made A Mistake
There’s some mention about ‘the waitress’ but the article focuses on me and Alyssa and our ‘romance’. It goes on to say that we’re flying off to the Bahamas now that filming has ended. There are rumors that I will pop the question.
What the hell?
We’ve gone from ‘getting together’ at the start of this film, to me proposing to her three months later.
Rudy.
Dinner with him and Alyssa and the others, two nights ago.
A huge mistake.
I was so pissed off about missing the flight to New York that I wasn’t really present when we got to the restaurant.
I couldn’t wait to leave.
But this? I smack the paper against the wall. This is a new low. Fairytale romances and glittering multi-million-dollar deals are forged here in Tinsel Town, a place which swims in lies and deceit. But this isn’t fair to Nina. She’s been dragged into this unknowingly. Because of me.
One-night stand?
He made a mistake?
No frigging way.
These are the types of headline that will make Nina see red, if she ever decides to talk to me again. She won’t believe this, at least, I hope she won’t, because she can see through the bullshit.
I walk off, wanting to be put my fist through Rudy’s face.
I’ve left her numerous messages and texts since the fight, but she hasn’t called back. Each time I call her, her phone goes to voicemail. I consider calling Harper, then as quickly I decide against it. Nina is annoyed at me, and it’s better I speak to her first, besides, I won’t be surprised if they’re all still in New York.
I’m sick of Rudy and him telling me that the success of a film depends on rumors and giving the fans what they want.
‘What they want is for you and your leading lady to fall in love.’ He’s always telling me I can’t mess with the studio. I can’t change the system.
Hollywood made you, Sandersby.
You’ll never get a chance like this again.
* * *
NINA
* * *
I’m back. Elias and Harper are still in New York. Lou thinks it will be a good idea to go back to Dwayne Bank’s place, and Harper agrees. She says it’s peaceful over there. Elias is doing a few interviews today, but Harper tells me he’s still not in a good place. Losing the fight has been the biggest setback for him.
Now that I’m here, I wish I hadn’t rushed back. I wished I had braved Elias’s wrath and stuck around. I would have owned up to my blame in this.
Callum has called me a number of times. He’s left messages and texts, but I haven’t returned them. I saw the newspaper headlines the day I landed. Alongside the huge gut-wrenching picture of a jubilant Garrison, and the bloodied and battered face of Elias on the front page, there’s a small photo, also on the front page, showing Callum and Alyssa, and a small picture of me, looking a disheveled mess. It was probably taken as I left the diner one day. I didn’t even notice anyone taking it. The headlines scream about how Callum has made up with Alyssa, and how I was the one-night stand. How he made a bad mistake.
Once upon a time, this would have killed me, seeing my photo and my story in a freaking local paper. But everything has been eclipsed by my worry over Elias and his state of mind.
Even Callum takes a backseat.
When I arrived at the diner this morning, Frankie told me to go home and take it easy. I couldn’t. I can’t go home. Not right now. There’s nothing for me there. I’ll be too close to temptation.
My saving grace is night school. I’ve missed a few classes over the past few weeks, but I need to get back to it. Night school gives me a much needed distraction, and I have a lot of assignments to catch up on.
I sit by the corner, catching up on my assignment when things are less busy. Joni comes over. We’ve been civil towards one another. I haven’t been in a talkative mood ever since my return, so I’ve kept myself to myself. She asked me about the fight, and I told her what she wanted to know. She said she was back with Rhys, but I didn’t have much to say about that. I was curious about the last guy she hooked up with, during her twenty four hour split from Rhys, but I didn’t care enough to ask her.
She comes over again with a newspaper and spreads it out on the table. “Did you have a one-night stand with him?”
I ignore her and focus on my homework.
“You did,” she gasps, taking my silence for an answer. I stop writing and feel the muscles on my face tighten. It’s not a question I will answer. She’s being who she normally is—a nosey bitch instead of a friend. I give her a hard stare.
“There’s no need to get all moody with me. I’m only asking, Nina. ‘Cause this isn’t like you. You don’t even like guys.”
“Evidently I do.”
“It says here he’s back with Alyssa. Is it true?”
“If it’s in the paper, it must be.”
“Are you okay?” she asks, as if she gives a damn.
“I’m perfectly fine.”
Joni folds the paper and moves it to one side. “We saw the fight. What happened to Elias? It’s like he didn’t even try.”
I blink. What does she expect me to say to that?
“He must be upset?” she asks.
“He must be.”
“You look upset. Do you want to come out with us tonight?”
Us?
“No, thanks.”
“Scott won’t be there.”
Still no. I shake my head.
“Rhys says you could probably do with some cheering up.”
I grit my teeth. “No thanks.”
“Don’t be like that, Nina.”
“I’ve got assignments to catch up.” I consider asking her why she’s back with Rhys, but she might think I care, and I don’t. She thinks it’s love, what Rhys does to her, how he treats her. No amount of explaining on my part has ever made a difference in the past and I don’t expect it will going forward. She’ll only see what she chooses to see.
“We’re going for something to eat. I know you don’t exactly feel comfortable with him around, but it was his idea. He says you’re likely feeling down and the papers haven’t exactly been kind to you or Elias.”
“I’m touched by his compassion.” My sarcasm is layered on extra thick.
“Think about it. I’m going to the washroom to make myself look pretty. Let me know if you change your mind.” She disappears.
I exhale slowly. I can’t go home, but I don’t want to go to night school either. I wish Harper were here. I can talk to her. I purposely didn’t take up much of her time yesterday because she was with Elias the whole time, but I’m missing company. Good company with people who care about me.
“Hey, Nina. Seen Joni?”
His voice grates on my nerves more than Joni’s voice does. I don’t even look up at him. I can’t stand Rhys, and surely, he must know that by now.
“She’s getting changed,” I say, picking up my pen and pretending to get busy. I won’t look at Rhys even though he comes and hovers around my table.
“You must be feeling kinda down.”
I sniff, then rub my finger under my nose. My eyes are still trained on my work, but then he puts his hand on my shoulder, and I flinch. “Back off.” I snarl.
He grins. “Boyfriend troubles? I read the papers. What a day when both Cardoza’s make it onto the front page. Only in Chicago, mind you. I doubt you’re that important anywhere else.”
I continue writing, but I’m not even sure that what I’m writing makes sense. I’m scribbling something, but my insides are all knotted up. I need rescuing.
Frankie. Where are you?
“Maybe Elias will come down a peg or two, instead of strutting around as if he’s the king of this city.”
I jolt my head up. “My brother never thought he was the king of anything.”
“He’s definitely not anything now. I didn’t think he’d last the w
hole distance, with Garrison this time around, but I didn’t expect him to go down like he did so soon.”
I pinch my lips together in a bid to stay calm. Rhys likes shooting off, and he’s trying to rile me up.
“You don’t look so happy, either. Can’t be all to do with Elias getting beat.”
This piece of filth wants me to react, but I won’t. I refuse to give him the reaction he’s trying to get. He puts his hand on my shoulder again, and this time his fingers dig into my flesh.
I’m dragged back into the janitor’s basement. I am lost, hopeless and powerless to do anything. I try to open my mouth, but my muscles freeze up. “The papers called you a one night stand. I didn’t think you put out for anyone. I guess you have different rules for famous guys.” His fingers dig in. “Anytime you get lonely you —”
“Hey!” Someone sweeps in and gives Rhys an almighty shove. He goes flying backwards and hits the wall. “Get your fucking hands off her.”
Callum.
My heart sinks.
Rhys is up and on his feet before charging towards Callum. The two of them grapple in the aisle, pushing and shoving like schoolboys.
“Stop it!” I yell, just as Callum pulls back on his arm, flexing his fist, his other grabbing Rhys’s collar. Callum pauses to look at me, and that’s when Rhys slams him in the face. Callum’s fist flies and lands with a heavy thwack across Rhys’s cheek.
“Hey!” Frankie bellows, as she marches over. “Break it up!” Her voice booms across the diner.
“Son of a bitch.” Rhys holds the side of his face. It’s red and swollen. Callum shakes his hand which is just as red. He winces, and I can see that he’s in great pain.
“What the—” Joni looks at the two men who are eyeballing one another. Frankie stands in the middle with her hands on her hips, daring either one of them to move.
“Get out,” she tells Rhys. She waggles her finger at Joni. “If I ever catch him in here again, I will fire you.”