“Heal Menel! He’s going to die!!”
I snapped back to reality. “M-Menel!!” I sprinted, almost tripped my way over to him.
He was charred black, and his beautiful face was burned beyond recognition. His arms were twisted, and he was missing several of his fingers.
I started hyperventilating.
I prayed and prayed.
The miracles of the god of the flame began to heal his body.
“P-Please—Please—” Tears filled my eyes. “Wake up... You can’t... You can’t die...”
He was so gravely injured. The healing was progressing slowly, but he wasn’t opening his eyes. I prayed, prayed, prayed...
I was feeling very faint. I’d swung that demonblade so much and indulged in its power for so long. Maybe that was taking its toll on me.
But I... have to heal... Menel...
And while I was still mid-thought, the ground suddenly tilted at a strange angle, and I blacked out.
◆
When I woke up, Reystov was there to explain the situation to me.
I was in a village close to the valley, and this was an empty house that they had allowed us to rent after being filled in on what had happened. After the battle, Reystov and the others had retreated here, carrying Menel and me over their shoulders. Fortunately, I had cut down the entire horde of beasts, and after the chimera’s retreat, there had been no sign of it attempting another attack.
Menel had escaped death.
It was probably thanks to the number of spells and blessings I’d cast on him beforehand. It had also majorly paid off that Menel hadn’t foolishly attempted to hold his ground when the chimera struck him, but had rolled with the blow and willingly been knocked away. The collision with the rock wall and the chimera’s fire breath had both nearly killed him, but the magic I had bestowed upon him had somehow kept him breathing, and my blessings had made it in time.
However, because I overused my demonblade, I had passed out halfway through treating Menel, so he hadn’t come to yet.
“For now, just rest a little more,” Reystov said.
“But—”
“Meneldor’s condition is stable. You’ve exerted yourself too much. Rest,” he said emphatically, giving me a hard look. Then he left the room.
He’d looked exhausted as well. There must have been other victims besides Menel and me in that chaotic battle, but he hadn’t mentioned anything, probably deliberately.
And so, in this unoccupied house with its simple mud walls, I sat under a faint ray of light that shone through a gap in the roof, my head lowered in thought.
Where on earth had I screwed up?
Was it when I trusted Menel with defending against the rear attack? No, given the situation, that had been unavoidable. The choice ultimately resulted in our suffering a near-total defeat and having to flee with our lives, but nevertheless, from where I stood at the time the decision to leave the chimera to Menel wasn’t an obviously bad move. I was pretty sure of that. If I’d gone to handle the chimera myself, there was a chance that everyone else might have been trampled by the charging demons.
The worst moment for us was most likely when we fell for the trap that used the dead body. We had a good number of people, we’d been very successful up until that point, and we were acting a little braver than we should have to insulate ourselves from the shock of having seen the corpses of people we knew. All those factors combined must have resulted in each of us being a little bit careless.
We should have been on alert from the moment we discovered the bodies. We should have been patient and thorough, and sent out scouts in every direction. If we’d done that, we wouldn’t have aimlessly wandered into a wide-open valley and gotten lured into a battle where we were at such a disadvantage.
So the cause of this failure was a very, very simple lack of caution. We got our comeuppance for allowing ourselves to get distracted in enemy territory and take careless actions. End of story.
And yet—
There was something... something that didn’t feel quite right about this explanation. I was overlooking something critical. I could feel it. What was it? What hadn’t I realized...?
I was lying on my back with my head full of this feeling I couldn’t place when I heard voices through the thin walls.
“Forced to retreat, huh...”
“Unbelievable, right? It’s the Wyvern Killer and the Penetrator we’re talking about here.”
“There was some unearthly big chimera thing there, I heard. A horrible mix of different beasts.”
“What’s the plan to deal with that?”
“Beats me.”
“That mixed elf guy got injured badly too, you hear about that?”
“Yeah, he’s got it rough. He shouldn’t let himself get roped into the kinda battles the Wyvern Killer fights, it’s just suicidal. The guy’s a monster.”
The two of them—adventurers, I thought—passed by outside, probably completely unaware that I’d been able to hear their conversation.
A black realization flickered into my mind. Now I saw it. It wasn’t the strategy. It was the strength of our forces.
In my mind, someone talked in a sticky voice.
I trusted Menel to have my back. I thought that even if we were faced with a powerful enemy, Menel would be able to stave it off for a little while if I left it to him. And when the chimera appeared, I thought the same, as if it were a totally natural expectation.
However, what was the reality? Menel couldn’t put up any resistance against the chimera at all. He wasn’t as strong as I’d been casually expecting. I’d assigned him more danger than he could handle, innocently, without thinking twice about it. I treated him like a friend, and I just thought he could handle that much—
“Oh...”
It was all fitting together now. Something came crawling out of the very darkest part of my heart. It was probably something I’d been unconsciously trying to avoid confronting. I’d been putting it out of my mind, but I wasn’t going to avert my eyes from it anymore.
By this world’s standards, my level of strength was completely insane.
I had been told this countless times since leaving the city of the dead, both explicitly and not so explicitly. And every time, I’d smiled humbly and politely, and let those words pass me by.
Why hadn’t I thought about this until now? I’d probably unconsciously been avoiding thinking too deeply about it. No matter how much everyone around me praised my abilities, I kept on being modest. I elevated all the other skilled people I met, and felt shame at my immaturity. Because otherwise, it would have meant admitting it.
No matter how pitiable the people I met were, no matter how horrible the sights I saw were, I avoided feeling sorry for anyone. I just tried to be a good problem solver. Because otherwise, it would have meant admitting it.
That we weren’t equal.
And once I admitted that—
Once I recognized that I was above them, and everyone else was far, far below me—
Once I started to realize that asking someone to fight alongside me might be forcing a terrible burden upon them—
I could never be like them. Not like those three. Having each other’s back, supporting each other, respecting each other. I’d never have friends like that. Because I would be alone.
So I refused to acknowledge that there was a difference in our strength.
But what was the reality like? I wanted Menel to fight alongside me, but he was weak. I’d beaten him effortlessly when we first met. Even in my battle against the wyvern, all he did was spread out my Word and help me to drop the wyvern to earth. That was all. I’d been unconsciously averting my eyes from the simple truth that, compared to me, he was very weak. It was like it was something disgusting I didn’t want to look at.
Why? Why was being alone something to be afraid of?
The instant I thought that, a scene flashed into my mind, with a flash not of bright light, but of pitch-black darkness.
It was my old room, in my past life. It was an empty room with no one there, a house without parents, a place as silent as the grave. I was scared. I was afraid. I was lonely. I hurt inside. I couldn’t take it—
“Oh...”
Oh.
So that was it. It was so simple. I didn’t want to be alone. I was afraid of not having anyone by my side.
So even though he was someone I should have been protecting, someone who I should have been saving, I’d tried to see him as an equal against all reason. I made excuse after excuse to not think about the clear and obvious facts. I coaxed him into standing alongside me, and as a result, I nearly destroyed him. And it was all for the single, most despicable reason that I didn’t want to be lonely.
I finally understood... what I’d been doing wrong.
I got to my feet. I wobbled a little, but a prayer sorted that out with no trouble at all. There was no need to worry. I was very strong.
I started walking. First of all, I had to go see Menel. I had to heal him.
It had started drizzling at some point, but it didn’t bother me in the slightest. I felt like all my cares had been blown away.
And I laughed, from the bottom of my heart.
◆
It was drizzling outside.
Menel had been laid on a bed, in a farmhouse that looked like it had wealthy owners. His wounds hadn’t fully healed, and fluids were seeping out from the burns all over his body and soaking into his bandages. He looked like he was having difficulty breathing. His cheeks looked somehow sunken, and his silver hair looked dull.
This was my sin.
I was vaguely aware that I was overwhelmingly powerful, and at the same time, I tried to remain unaware of it. I feared being better. I shied from solitude. I ran away from being responsible for my power.
I caused this, I told myself. I’ll do it alone.
Do it alone.
I couldn’t force other people to bear the burden of standing by my side, especially not in battle. What did it matter if I couldn’t become like my parents, anyway?
I offered a prayer to my god. Gracefeel, please heal poor Menel, who lies before me. God healed Menel right away, just as she always did. His gruesome burns, his partially-healed claw scars—all of them started to disappear.
My vision suddenly warped disorientingly, taking me by surprise. I was experiencing a revelation.
I saw my black-haired goddess, who always wore a hood over her head and rarely spoke or showed expression. But she had her hood down now, and her lips were pressed sorrowfully into a thin line.
Oh, Gracefeel... Thank you for worrying about me, I thought. But it’s okay. I’ve been a fool. Just watch me. I’ll stop your sadness. So I beg you—put your mind at ease. I’ll save everyone, everyone within my reach, as your blade, and as your hands.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I’ll solve everything, everything, all by myself...”
I walked unsteadily out of the room, and returned to the house where I’d been sleeping.
There was my equipment. I gave it a quick check. There wasn’t much of a need. All I really needed was myself, a sword, and a spear. I could heal both disease and injury. I could receive gifts of food from my god. And if I felt like it, as long as I had nothing by my side to protect and nothing else to consider... I could kill anything.
Yes—it was time to admit it. My strength was not normal for a person of this world. I’d killed a splinter of an evil god; I could kill wyverns with my bare hands. I was like a video game character who’d maxed out the level counter—or even a hacked character, created by using cheat codes to mess with the data. I was far and away stronger than anything else in this world.
So there was no need to worry. I would kill the chimera. I would kill the demons. I would bring peace to this area. And I would make a bloodbath of any enemies who got in my way. That was the shortest, fastest, most efficient way to do good, to see justice done. It was the best path to making my goddess’s wishes become a reality.
I left the house through its gate and into the pelting rain, and headed for the outskirts of the village and the woods beyond—
“Hey!” A figure stood in my way. He had silver hair, sharp facial features, tightened lips, and jade eyes burning with anger.
I had no idea when he had gotten up, or when he had circled ahead of me, but one way or another—Meneldor was there.
◆
In a field near the edge of the village, Menel and I faced each other in the pouring rain.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked me, his voice sharp.
“What?” I tilted my head. “To kill beasts, Meneldor.”
Meneldor narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together. “Alone.”
“Yes...?” Of course alone. “You can’t keep up with me. Right?” So I had to protect him. Wasn’t that obvious?
Meneldor’s expression twisted.
Feeling cold and empty, I slowly put on a smile. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be okay. I’ll go solve everything myself. I’ll kill the chimera and the hordes of beasts. If there’s demons behind it all, I’ll kill them, too.”
And then everything would be resolved. Why had I been overcomplicating this? This was what I should have—
“The hell you will!” With quick movements, Menel closed the distance between us.
He never swung his fist back. It was simply thrust at my face at close range. The motion was beautiful.
His fist collided with my cheek. “Wake up, you stupid shit!”
But all I felt was... disappointment. I was right. This was all he had. I hadn’t moved an inch. It just stung a little. That was all.
“Is that it, Meneldor?” I said quietly, his fist still pressed against my cheek. Even I thought my eyes must have looked terribly cold.
As I started to turn away, planning on ignoring him entirely and leaving, he lashed out with more punches and kicks. I made slight movements to change where the blows landed, and they barely hurt at all.
“Dammit! Why are you acting like this?!” He still wasn’t giving up.
At this point, I was starting to get a little irritated. I couldn’t have him following me. What could I do about this?
Maybe just one arm wouldn’t be too bad.
As he lunged out with his fist, I grabbed his arm.
“Wh—?!”
Then, I pressed it with all my body weight and dislocated it. The feeling of his shoulder popping out of its socket was horribly recognizable. Meneldor seemed to jerk, and then he let out a long, indistinct groan and fell to the ground, squirming in pain.
I’m sorry, I thought. It’s for your own good...
“Get someone to treat that for you.”
Figuring that now he wouldn’t be able to fight me, I started to walk off.
“I’m... not done with you yet...” From behind me, there was the sound of clawing at grass. I turned to see Meneldor with tears in his eyes, clutching his arm, and yet, staggering to his feet.
I sighed. What was I supposed to do now? I’d been the one trying to think of him as a friend; really, we’d only paired up because it was easiest, so I’d thought this would have been enough to get him to let this go. But for some reason, he was still keeping at it.
What could I do?
Maybe I could seal him from moving by using a Word. But Words were a little bit unreliable... Aha. I could choke him out by compressing his carotid artery. I took a step towards him.
“‘Gnomes, gnomes, form a fist! Clench your hands and strike the foe!’”
The ground behind me ruptured, and a great many small stones came flying towards me. It was the spell Stone Fist.
Apparently the pain was causing Meneldor to make bad decisions. That surprise attack from behind was something I’d already seen when I first fought him, and although this was certainly a powerful spell, it gave me a lot of advance warning. It was the kind of spell best used as part of a team. I could simply dodge it.
&nbs
p; But as I started moving my feet, I realized. The spell was headed for Meneldor.
In that instant, I was pressed to make a decision. If I avoided it, Meneldor would take serious damage. So without even thinking, I stopped in my tracks and hardened my defense—and an endless onslaught of pebbles battered my body.
◆
I groaned. My body was throbbing all over. I lost control of my legs, and they gave out.
“Hah! ‘I’ll go solve it myself.’ What a load of pig shit!” Menel approached me while I was still in terrible pain from Stone Fist. “You’re just being a goddamn coward!” He kicked me in the stomach as hard as he could.
I was wearing mail, but even so, he’d kicked me in a spot where his spell had also hit moments ago. It hurt like hell. I crumpled to the ground, trying not to shout out in pain.
However, Menel wasn’t entirely unharmed himself. His shoulder was dislocated, and as I looked up at him, I saw that Stone Fist had hit him, too. That wasn’t surprising; he’d been asking for it with the way he used that spell. He was covered in mud, he looked unsteady on his feet, there was foam at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes were bloodshot. His usual handsome features were nowhere to be seen. It was painful to look at.
I shakily got to my feet. “What’s the point of you doing all this?” I suddenly found myself asking. “If you keep going like this, you’ll be putting your own life in danger. We were just together because it turned out that way. There’s no reason for you to go this far.”
“Hah. Maybe, yeah.” He smirked. “You’re right. I’ve got no reason to follow you anymore, and no reason to go out of my way to try to stop an emotionally unstable wimp who’d take things to this extreme and go running off just because he got horribly beaten one time.”
“Then why—”
Menel’s smile softened, and he cut me off. “See... We’re friends,” he said, with a mud-covered smile.
I almost doubted my ears.
“Friends stick together. When my friend goes nuts in the head, I feel like doing something about it.”
“Oh...” Those few words hit me much harder than any fist or spell.
The Archer of Beast Woods Page 17