by Oakes, Tara
Ma was sitting on the bed holding Lil's in her arms, rocking her back and forth while trying to soothe her. Lil's looked frightened, shocked. She held on to ma tight, breathing deep and fast.
“What? Baby, what's wrong?” I needed to know.
Lil's searched the room, settling on each of our faces. “I... I don't know. It was all so real.”
Ma squeezed her tight and then released her, making room for me to slide in and take her place.
“Shh... shhh... baby. I'm here.” She clung to me, slowly calming from her nightmare.
Ma spoke in a hushed tone. “I'm gonna get you some breakfast, baby girl. You need to eat something,” before heading out.
“Umm, Lil's? Do you remember me from last night?”
I loosened my grip on Lil's so she could address the girl speaking to her. “I think so... You're... Charlie?”
Charlie smiled, stepping closer to us. “That's me. Do you feel any better?”
Lil's straightened herself, freeing her hands from around my neck and smoothed her hair. “I think so... I'm sorry... you don't need to make a fuss over me.”
I reached for Lil's hand and squeezed it. “It's OK, baby... she's here to help. She's with Clink.” Lil's eyes on Charlie softened a bit, with the new introduction.
“Sorry... I didn't mean to be rude. I just don't usually see too many new people hanging around here. Thanks for looking after me.”
Charlie smiled. Whatever tension was wafting between these two had melted.
“Baby?” I brought Lil's attention back to me. “We should tell her. She's a nurse.”
Lil's looked at me hard, unsure of my demands. Her eyes shifted to Charlie, and she instinctively moved to cover herself with her arms. “Jay...” she sounded unsure.
I nodded my head. “It's OK, baby.” I turned to Charlie, aware of Lil's eyes on me as I spoke. I took a deep breath. “She's pregnant.”
It sounded surreal to say the words, to actually acknowledge the fact out loud. I smiled over to Lil's.
Charlie sat down and reached for Lil's hand, gently guiding it to rest in her own and away from her stomach. “Have you... had any bleeding? Pain? Cramping?” She seemed genuinely concerned for my girl. I appreciated it.
I held my breath waiting for Lil's answer. My eyes were sealed shut, bracing for the worst.
“No.”
I exhaled deep at my gir's answer. Thank god. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, holding her head to mine.
Charlie smiled at the both of us. “Good. I'm sure she's fine, but you should probably have a check up as soon as possible. You know... better safe than sorry.”
We both nodded. “I'll call and make her an appointment for tomorrow.”
Lil's and I held each other, as I planned the doctor's visit.
Charlie stood. “I'll give you two some privacy. Call me if you need me.”
Lil's turned to Charlie. “Thank you Charlie.”
The two women shared a moment before we were left to ourselves. It was the first time I had been alone with my girl in forever, it seemed. I kicked my boots off and shimmied her over a little making room. “Lay back down, baby, it's early.”
I pulled her close, and she snuggled in close settling herself under my arm. My hand rested on her side, under her rib, my fingers absentmindedly traced their way over to her navel. She giggled nervously. My chest warmed. It had been a long time since she had made that sound around me.
“Soo...” she whispered into my chest.
“Soo..” I mimicked her, while tracing her hairline with tiny kisses.
“This is really happening, isn't it? Are you OK with it?” There was a small hint of uncertainty behind her words.
I lowered my chin to find her lips, sweeping them with mine. “Baby.. I'm so much better than OK.” I took her lips with my own. “You are all I need.” I swirled my hand around her middle. “Both of you.... all I need. All I'll ever need.”
She smiled into my kiss, her lips widening with her approval. “I love you.”
My heart surged. I held her tight, held them tight. They were all that mattered now.
******
We slept, tangled up in each other until late morning. Ma had tried to bring us in some breakfast, but when she caught sight of us in bed she quickly changed her mind, taking the tray back with her. I watched as Lil's slipped in and out of her dreamlike state, her hair clinging to her forehead in a small amount of sweat. My eyes were heavy but I was strong enough to hold them open.
A sudden commotion from outside the door in the main area of the clubhouse was growing louder, causing Lil's to stir in my arms, waking from the noise. Two knocks on our door barely gave us warning as T.J. opened it and peaked through with closed eyes. I sat up, setting my girl down easy.
“What?”
“Jay?.. I'm sorry...” His eyes were clenched tight. “Man.... there's cops out here. They want to see Lil's.”
“Shit!” I threw my legs over the side and reached for my boots, as Lil's bolted up, clutching herself and looking around anxiously. “Tell them she's dressing... she'll be out in a minute.”
The door shut. “Jay... I can't.” Her head was shaking back and forth. I climbed over to her and held her tight. “Baby... you'll do fine.. Just tell them what we practiced. You lent your car to Emily. You haven't heard from her since. You have no idea why your mom thought you were missing. You were with me the whole time.”
Lil's nodded at the summary of our earlier discussion. We knew she would have to put it to good use, but neither of us had expected it to be so soon. I helped her up, balancing her as she slipped into her sandals. She was pinching her lips tight, preparing herself so I felt the need to reassure her.
“You got this baby. I'll be right next to you.”
We made our way down the long hallway and into the main rooms where all of our family and friends were lining the perimeter, offering us their support. Pop had spread the word among the guys. We all knew the story, the alibis.
Three officers dressed in full uniform were mulling about, peeking in and under things. It was obvious they didn't have a warrant. If they had, they wouldn't waste any time tearing this place up. We had enough invested in the weekly payouts to ensure a heads up whenever a warrant was thrown our way, but, regardless... the place was clean. Never shit where you eat, you know.
One man stood out from the assholes in blue. Detective Flattery was never interested in our form of supplemental income. As far as we knew he played by the book, kept his nose clean and had a small hard-on to trip us up. Prick. He was loving this, being in the middle of our clubhouse, mentally fucking us as much as he could.
Lil's squeezed my hand tight, and I wedged her slightly behind me, buffering her from these outsiders. The dick-wad eyed me cautiously. There was a silent understanding between the two of us... he behaved himself and I let him walk out of here in one piece. He's new enough in town, but been here long enough to know not to fuck around with a Kingsman.
He cleared his throat. “Julia Keagan?”
Lil's breathed in deep enough for me to hear. “Yes...?”
“We've been going to some pretty far lengths to find you, young lady...”
Butch stood up from the barstool he'd been warming. “Obviously not far enough... she's been right here.”
Shit. Butch was on parole, as usual, and I don't fucking need this to be going from bad to worse right now. Tiny pushes his pop back down hard on the round seat, with a loud thud. I feel Lil's jump a bit from the sound of it. I hold her tighter.
The douchebag with a badge ignores Butch. “I have some questions for you, if you don't mind.”
Now I take a turn to intervene. “This really isn't a good time. She's not feeling well.”
He sizes me up. I have no doubt that I fit every preconceived stereotype this dick has of me. That's all right. It's my very own badge of honor that I fucking wear with pride.
Lil's pushed gently past me. “It's OK, baby... I'd like to see why
he was looking for me. Straighten this out.”
Detective Flattery smiled in victory. He scanned the room, taking in all of the leather-born-men standing at the ready. Some of the out of towners had stuck around, lingering behind and swelling our ranks. It was an impressive show of force. One that I'm sure made an impression on him.
“We should go downtown... have a little but more privacy.”
Yeah right. As if i'd ever let that happen.
Pop stepped past the crowd. “You can use the boardroom. Plenty of privacy in there. No need to take this any further than necessary.” He was calling the detective's bluff. This was Pop's club, his place. He was just pissing and marking his territory.
The pig gave in and followed us toward the boardroom. He moved toward the table and took a seat at the head of it, in Pop's seat. I could hear the grinding sounds coming from Pops' concealed teeth. No cop had ever walked through these doors without a warrant, invited to stay, no less... and violated our boardroom like this.
I held my mouth to Lil's ear, kissing her, offering her whatever reinforcement and strength I could. “I'll be right outside if you need me, baby.” She held her palm to my chest, flattened over the barrier to my heart. She closed her eyes and forced a smile.
I shut the door behind me, propping myself against the sturdy oak facing the room of supporters. Pop broke the silence first, “Time for a drink, boys. Line 'em up.”
The cops watched us closely. It was barely noon but it never stopped us before... took the edge of things, you know? Clink pulled up a seat next to me. He had just as much vested in the outcome of this shit show as I did. Clink has a pretty good streak of luck going. He's the only Kingsman in this charter that has been able to avoid the slammer. He's come close a bunch of times, but was able to squirm out of whatever shit he got caught up in. It's how he got his road name. Clink. 'Cause he's never been in one. I'm sure he wasn't looking to break his record now.
The empties were starting to pile up on the bar top, with the prospects barely able to keep up with the brothers' drink orders. Time was passing slowly. Too fucking slow. My eyes found themselves constantly creeping over to the boardroom doors.
A freshly showered Charlie sauntered up behind us. “Well, I'm out boys. Just thought I'd say bye.”
Clink turned on his stool to face her, bottle in hand. “Sugar... I can't leave just yet. Why don't you park it over there by the chicks and we'll head out in a bit?” He took a sip of his imported beer and undressed her with his eyes.
The jingling of keys drew my attention as I glanced over my shoulder to the interaction between the two of them.
“Don't call me sugar.”
I practically showered my mouthful of beer over the prospect in front of me. This broad was somethin' else. No one gave Clink any shit, especially some piece of ass. “No need. I've got my Jeep back. T.J. just finished up with it. I'll catch you later.”
Pop slapped his hand on my back hard, overhearing the little discussion. “Clink... you gonna introduce your girl?”
Charlie smiled awkwardly at Vince. It was a very forced smile... pretty uncommon for when newbies met the big boss for the first time. Usually they tried to make a good impression, kiss ass a bit.
“Actually... I'm about to jet... maybe some other time?” She nodded to each of us half-heartedly.
And she was out. Clink took a long swig from the glass bottle. “Not a word, brother. Not one fucking word.”
Pop took the opportunity to muss up Clink's hair and move along.
I smiled and laughed under my breath. “You... uh.. you gonna make that a regular?”
He leaned back, spreading his legs further on the floor to balance himself out. “Who the fuck knows? I take things one night at a time. Or morning, or afternoon...” He laughed at his own expense and drank the remaining beer from his bottle.
“Well, as long as you decide to keep spending those nights with her, make sure to keep an eye on her ass. I caught her poking around this morning.”
That piqued his curiosity. “Did you now?”
******
Lil's spent close to an hour with the detective. I kept close to the boardroom just in case I was needed, sitting nervously at the bar waiting. The beers kept my hands busy, occupied so I wouldn't fidget around nervously trying to pass the time. When the boardroom doors finally opened and they stepped out I had a pretty healthy buzz going on. Pounding eight beers on an empty stomach will do that to you.
Flattery was handing his business card over to Lil's by the time I got to them. “Thank you for your time, Miss Keagan. I will be in touch.”
Really? I pulled Lil's close, offering my body for her to lean against even if just for a moment. She looks ragged, exhausted. This jerk was trying to intimidate her, I'm sure of it. I throw him the coldest stare I can and hold my girl tight. I was used to dealing with assholes like this... comes with the territory of what I do on a daily basis, but Lil's has never been in a position like this before.
He nodded to her, and then to me before making his way out. His little rookie lapdogs followed behind him on his way. Once he cleared the door, I heard Lil's let out a long breath and sink into me. She didn't speak.. she didn't need to. I know her well enough to know that she's still processing shit. This last little bit just got added to the pile.
Ma rushed over and searched over Lil's. “Come on, baby girl... let's get you some food and a nice hot shower. It'll make you feel better, I promise.”
Lil's let's go of me and followed ma into the kitchen without so much as a peep. My baby has a spine of steel, even though she may not know it. I could see it from the beginning and it was one of the reasons why I fell for her. Seeing her like this, without so much as a smart-ass attitude at being ordered around like a child was damn unsettling to me.
Ma looked over to me and raised her eyebrows, she must be noticing this all too. All I could do was shrug my shoulders and shake my head.
******
We had Leo make a sweep over of the entire clubhouse, making sure the cops didn't leave little presents of the electronic form behind. Once we were given the “all clear,” a few of us met up behind closed doors to touch base on the newest predicament we found ourselves in. For as long as men have worn the Kingsmen patch in this town, we've been a target for some group or another. We may be out of the sights of Shade and the Slayers, but things were starting to feel like we were entering the crosshairs of a different type of target.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
LILS
The kitchen at the clubhouse was nowhere near as cozy as the one at Jay's house, but it was filled with love. Ma was twirling herself around between the stainless steel counters grabbing this and chopping that... all the while humming some ridiculous tune and shaking her ass. I may feel like a beat-up punching bag right now but even in my funk I wasn't immune to ma's charms.
The kitchen was fully stocked to handle all of the out-of-towners, so I was given several choices. I didn't have much of an appetite, but I knew better than to try to argue with ma. The woman was on a mission to cook and feed.
“Lil's!” I could barely prepare myself for the tiny little girl throwing herself at me, arms trying to close around my middle. I hadn't seen Ava in years but there was no doubt in my mind who this little sprite was.
Picking her tiny frame up I was able to sit her on the empty counter top in front of me without much effort. She was about seven years old now, as I quickly did the math in my head. She definitely had more than a few growth spurts since the last time I had set eyes on her, but her rosy-red chubby cheeks were still the same and her eyes still danced when they looked at you. She was the happiest child I had ever met, and I was envious of her carefree little world.
“Hey, kiddo! When did you get so big?” I asked teasingly as she giggled when I plucked at her little button nose playfully.
“Lil's... I'm a big girl now! I sleep in a big girl bed and momma lets me pick out my own clothes and I'm allowed to stay up until eight o'c
lock and I can wear earrings and I take tap lessons and daddy says I can have a puppy for my birthday and I can ride my bike without the training wheels and...”
I quickly covered her mouth lightly with the pads of my two fingers, laughing. “And... you can still talk a mile a minute!”
Ava's little cheeks blushed an even darker shade of crimson. She finally paused and took a breath. “Miss Jean is fixing us sandwiches...” I propositioned. Her eyes lit up at the mention of food. This kid was a bottomless pit when it came to eating.
I squinted down to her cherub-like face. “PB and J? No crusts? Cut into little triangles?”
She bobbed her head up and down fast enough to give whiplash, “Yes please!”
I smiled and nodded over at ma, who had already broken out the peanut butter. I set a third plate on the counter and we added Little Miss Chatterbox to our luncheon. Ma had fixed some soup and crackers along with some chicken salad sandwiches for us, and we sat all sat down together devouring the feast.
Little Ava and I would make the occasional funny face to one another and laugh at the other while trying to finish our plates. Ma just grinned and smiled at the exchange.
“Ava...? You in here, darlin'?” A loud male voice called into the room followed soon after by 'T', or Trojan as he was once known. That was before he met Sarah and settled down some. She put an end to that road name real quick, and out of respect for her, he was now called by just the initial. Well, most of the time anyway. I've heard the brothers slip up every now and again and bring out the old name for shits and giggles. Usually either when drunk, or just trying to piss him off, and never around Ava.
“Hey Lil's! Welcome home, sweetheart.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and hugged into me. “We've been meaning to stop by and see you but things have been so crazy at the house with the baby and all...”