by Judith Yates
While they ate, Jordan asked about the people he’d met in town so far. Yet he didn’t talk about them in connection with the building or the town meeting vote. It was as if he’d decided to avoid discussing business in any way, shape or form now that his notes were out of the way. Holly didn’t mind. She’d rather talk about her good friends and wonderful neighbors than about how to win votes on the zoning change.
After indulging themselves with strawberry shortcake for dessert, Holly suggested a walk around the grounds. “There’s a lovely little landscaped park down by the river. Very shady, very cool. And walking back up the hill to the car will burn up the gazillion calories in that rich whipped cream.”
The walk would also give her another chance to tell Jordan that Scott was Stephanie’s father.
The path down the side of the bluff was steep and rocky. As it narrowed, Jordan stepped ahead, taking her by the hand to guide her over the bumps and dips along the rugged route. His solicitous gesture—although unnecessary—delighted Holly. It was nice to know that, in this instance at least, someone was there to catch her if she stumbled.
But would Jordan be there for her when he learned how she had lied to him?
“This was definitely worth the hike,” Jordan declared when they reached the small park. Ignoring the roughhewn log benches, he plopped down on the grassy riverbank. “You were right, it feels ten degrees cooler down here.”
Holly was glad to see they had the park to themselves. No distractions. And Jordan seemed very relaxed. Leaning back on his elbows, his long legs stretched out on the grass, he gazed at the slow-moving water. Holly felt a reassuring calm. She could do it now. No excuses.
The lazy smile Jordan gave her when she sat beside him snagged Holly’s heart. She prayed it wouldn’t be the last smile. “I’m glad we have this chance to talk, Jordan.”
He turned to face her, resting his cheek in his hand. “Me, too. I thought you would want to rush right home after we ate.” Plucking a bright buttercup out of the grass, he held it under her chin. “Remember these?”
The playfulness of his voice made her wince as the soft flower tickled her skin. “Aha!” he cried. “Even after all these years, you still like butter, Holly.”
“Who eats butter anymore?” she asked blithely, trying not to laugh.
Holly liked this lighthearted mood of his. Still, she couldn’t allow it to distract her. “You and I haven’t talked about Scott yet.”
Jordan flicked the wilting buttercup to the ground. “No, we haven’t.”
“It’s time we did.”
“No.”
Holly was taken aback. “No?”
“Not now, anyway.”
“We need to.”
“We probably do. But not today.” He looked at her, the expression in his deep-blue eyes appealing to her to reconsider. “It’s a beautiful day—we’re having a good time together. Why spoil it?”
Her heart sank. “That wasn’t my intention.”
She must have sounded dejected, because Jordan frowned. “Let me explain,” he said, pushing himself up to a seated position. “I’ve been thinking about what you said—about clean slates and being accepted for who you are now, not who you used to be. That’s how it should be for us today.”
“Is that possible, Jordan? I mean, we’ve known each other forever.”
“Holly, I feel as though I’ve just met you. Everything you say and do is new to me. Everything you are now is—is—” Raising his eyes to the sky, he appeared to be searching for just the right words.
“So un-Hollylike?”
He chuckled and reached for her hand. “I like the Holly you are now. I’ve enjoyed being with her today.”
Her pulse tripped as his long fingers curled around her hand. Before now, she hadn’t realized he’d looked upon her as anything other than his brother’s old girlfriend or the kid who used to live next door. Yes, there had been the kiss on Sunday morning. But Holly had written that off as a fluke reaction to an emotionally exciting moment.
True, her attitude toward Jordan had gradually altered over the past few days. But sentiments about the Jordan she used to know always seemed to muddy the picture. Perhaps it was time for her to change the lens. If Jordan was able to regard her in a new light, Holly felt she should return the favor. After all, no longer was he the high-powered owner of CompWare, Inc. For all intents and purposes, he was Jordan Mason, independent contractor and the newest resident of Golden, Massachusetts.
“So, it’s a clean slate you’re after, is it?”
“With all my heart,” he bantered back, the slant of his slight smile sexy enough to take her breath away.
“Then it’s the new Holly and Jordan for the rest of the day,” Holly agreed, reluctantly tucking away her secret one more time.
He squeezed her hand. “Thanks.”
His touch warmed her skin, causing Holly to wonder just how much change Jordan had in mind. As tempting as it seemed, she wasn’t ready to spend the afternoon gazing into his eyes. Slipping her hand from his, Holly hugged her legs to her chest. She watched the river, rolling languidly but crystal clear and looking cool. Suddenly a wicked impulse seized her. What came to mind was certainly un-Jordanlike. Un-old-Jordanlike.
“The water looks too good to pass up,” Holly declared, sliding her canvas flats off her feet. “Let’s go wading.”
Jordan’s eyes narrowed. “You’re joking.”
“It’ll be fun.”
“I haven’t done anything like that since I was a kid.”
“Just what I thought,” she said, getting to her feet. “Time to start on that clean slate of yours, Jordan.”
“I see. This is some kind of challenge, eh?”
Holly nodded. “Put your money where your mouth is, Mason.”
“Easy for you to say—you’re wearing a dress,” he grumbled. But he yanked off his expensive leather shoes and rolled the legs of his tan slacks up to his knees. Then he stood up and held out his hand. “Shall we?”
She led him down the sloping bank to the graveled shoreline. Stepping into the sun-warmed water first, Holly felt the refreshing rush of the river’s flow against her ankles. She looked back at Jordan. “Ready?”
“Yeah, I’m ready. I just hope I don’t look as ridiculous as I feel.”
“You? Look ridiculous? Not with great legs like that,” she shot back with a wink. “Besides, this feels so good you’ll forget all your cares.”
As he followed her into the water, Jordan’s mouth broke into a broad grin. “Very nice.”
They waded in farther, stepping carefully over and around slippery rocks. Holly felt like a kid, kicking her feet through the water and teasing Jordan to keep up with her. What would Stephanie think of her mom now? she wondered with a laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Jordan asked.
As she told him, she noticed how his dark hair had fallen over his eyes, his shirttail spilled partway out of his waistband and the thick, rolled-up cuffs of his pants were getting wet. This was a new Jordan, to say the least. Still, as disheveled as he was, Holly found him more handsome than ever.
“The kid would probably hop right in with us,” he said, oblivious to her admiring gaze. “Now, Gracie, on the other hand, would tell us we’re out of our minds.”
She heard the edge in Jordan’s voice. “Gracie means well. She’s just on the cautious side.”
“Protective, too,” he added, brushing the hair from his eyes. “I don’t think she has much use for me.”
“She’s leery by nature—it’s the old Yankee in her.” Lifting her skirt up her thigh as the water grew deeper, Holly took a step back. “Give her some ti—oh!”
Her heel hit against one of slimy rocks beneath the water and she slid off balance.
“Whoa there,” cried Jordan, clutching her waist from behind as her body pitched forward. It was too late. Sheer momentum plunged her into the river and it pulled Jordan in with her.
Pushing her head up above the surface,
Holly coughed away the water she had swallowed. Jordan emerged a split second later, his arm still around her.
“Are you all right, Holly?”
“Yes,” she gasped, each breath too short and quick. Her soaking-wet hair was plastered against her cheeks. “I tripped on a rock. Can you believe it?”
Jordan sat back, drawing her to his side. The shallow water just covered their shoulders. “I was afraid something like this would happen,” he said with a shake of his head. “Just look at us.”
Holly pushed her hair off her face. “We’re a mess, all right. But you’ve got to admit it feels great to cool off.” She waved her arm to and fro beneath the water.
“Better than running under the sprinkler.”
“That’s the spirit, Jordan.” She patted him on his wet-shirted back. Then she felt a chuckle vibrate through his upper body, and it made her feel like chuckling, too. “Okay, why are you laughing?”
“I was thinking about Gracie again. What would she say about this?”
Holly didn’t think her housekeeper would consider this funny. She envisioned Gracie standing on the bank, her arms crossed and her eyes glowering with disapproval. Or was she the one who actually disapproved? A “mommy” should know better than to frolic in the water with a man who makes her take leave of her senses. But Holly had been watching her every step for five long years. She had worked so hard to build a secure, respectable life for her daughter, and there were times she felt very weary, indeed. Caught up in the day-to-day grind, she would often forget she was only twenty-six.
“Gracie would probably give us a good scolding,” Holly answered, curving her arm around his back. “But I don’t care. I’m having fun.”
“I suspect that’s a very un-Hollylike thing to say,” Jordan murmured, his chin nuzzling her neck.
A delicious weakness penetrated her slick, wet skin, awakening every nerve ending in her body. Holly sank against him. Beneath the water, Jordan tightened his hold on her waist. He pressed his lips against her neck, sending a shiver rippling down her spine.
“Cold?” he murmured, his breath warm on her skin. He kissed her shoulder.
“No.” She leaned into this kiss, feeling all breathless and steamy. As his mouth brushed a slow trail of caresses along the curve of her neck, Holly felt a pulsing heat deep inside her. Despite the languorous beat of her heart, her body was coming alive.
Jordan kissed her jaw, then her cheek. His right hand slithered through the water to her breast, molding his palm to her round softness while his thumb circled the sensitive tip. She closed her eyes, riding with the sensation, until her body began to tremble.
“Oh, Holly.”
His throaty whisper stirred long-forgotten yearnings. A hunger, unfamiliar, yet insistent, rumbled in her chest and pounded in her ears. Wanting nothing more than to fold her body into his, Holly swung around to get closer. Her violent turn made the water slap against their bodies. But before the sound registered in her consciousness, Jordan had captured her mouth in a breath-robbing kiss.
With a moan, she opened her lips to his tongue. Her limbs turned to liquid as his embrace grew stronger, tighter. Driven by this newfound hunger, she drank deeply of his kiss. They knelt thigh to thigh in the riverbed sand, water up to their waists. Holly felt the Jordan’s cold wet shirt through the thin cotton of her sundress bodice, and her breasts tingled.
As if he sensed her spiraling excitement, Jordan slid his hands beneath the water to her bottom. A groan vibrated in his throat and his hips moved hard against hers, his desire evident. The water flowing around them couldn’t douse the burning heat spreading through her like wildfire. Her body had never responded like this before. The sensations had never been so intense. Holly knew she had to get herself under control. She just wasn’t sure she could.
And that scared the hell out of her:
Pressing her hands flat against his chest, she tried to push herself away. Jordan held fast to her waist. “Please, don’t,” she moaned after dragging her mouth from his.
“This is crazy, Jordan.” She stumbled to her feet and he rose with her.
“Crazy or not, it’s happening.” His voice was raspy, his breathing labored. Jordan pulled her to him, piercing her with the glint of desire in his eyes. “I want it to happen. I think you do, too.”
Want it to happen? She had heard that before. The passion and heat and desire in her soul cracked into brittle pieces. “No, I don’t.”
Holly freed herself with a strong, angry shove. Staggering to shore, she tugged at her dripping-wet dress.
“Holly, wait.”
Jordan splashed through the water behind her, but she ignored his calls. Her eyes smarted—from tears or dripping water she didn’t know. And she didn’t know what disturbed her more—Jordan’s aggressive advance or her uninhibited response; Jordan’s remark or her guilty secret. Holly yanked on her canvas slip-on shoes with an anger that added to her confusion.
Jordan emerged from the river, water streaming all over his body as he rushed over to her. “Holly, please. You have to talk to me.”
Did she ever! Except now, she was far too upset to tell him about Scott and Stephanie. Or anything else, for that matter. “How can I when we’re both sopping wet like this? I’m going back to the car.”
Jordan caught her arm. “I’m sorry for getting carried away out there. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
Holly made the mistake of looking into his eyes. The desire that had shimmered in them moments before had deepened into an emotion she couldn’t quite decipher.
She sighed, unable to walk away. “You didn’t scare me, Jordan.”
“Then what is it?”
“This whole thing between us—it is crazy. I don’t want to get carried away by it. I can’t.” She slid her arm from his grasp. “Just because I’ve been that route before doesn’t mean I’ll make the same mistake twice.”
“Are you saying I think you’re easy?” Disbelief flashed across his face. “Now, that’s crazy.”
“It isn’t to me.” She felt her face redden with resentment. “And I’m not about to stick around here like a drenched idiot and explain it to you.”
Holly bolted back up the steep hill to the mansion. She needed to put space between them, even if only for a few minutes. It was impossible to think straight when her gaze was drawn to the soaked knit shirt clinging to his taut, chiseled shoulders, or when she wanted to curl her fingers though his thick wet hair.
As Holly waited by Jordan’s locked car, a late-afternoon breeze kicked up. It felt like a blast of iced air on her bare arms and damp dress, and she couldn’t stop shivering. Not even when Jordan caught up with her in the parking lot.
Digging the keys out his pocket, Jordan scarcely looked at her as he walked to the rear of the car. He pulled a blanket from the trunk. “Here,” he said, unfolding the blue-and-green wool. “Put this on before you freeze to death.”
No words were exchanged as she wrapped the blanket around her trembling body and Jordan unlocked the passenger door. They drove back to Golden in complete silence, the tension between them buzzing like electrified wire.
Holly managed to stop shivering by the time they pulled into her driveway. Shifting the car into Park, Jordan waited for her to get out. But Holly couldn’t leave him like this, not with what was left unsaid. Finally, when she made no move for the door, Jordan cut the engine.
“I think you’re a wonderful woman, Holly. I admire what you’ve done more than I can say.” Jordan’s was voice solemn and low as he stared over the steering wheel. “I also have other feelings for you, which are no secret after this afternoon. I won’t apologize for those.”
Holly stared down at her hands. “I’m not asking you to.”
“You’ve got to believe that what happened with you and Stephanie’s father never entered my mind. That has nothing to do with how you make me feel.”
“I know.”
“But you were angry.”
“Mostly at myself.�
� She looked up to find him watching her. “Pretending the past doesn’t exist is okay—up to a point. Yet there are some things I can’t afford to forget.”
“I should have realized that.” He reached out to brush a stray lock of hair from her cheek. “I was only thinking about what I wanted. That’s not fair to you.”
Fair? He was concerned about being fair, when she had out-and-out lied to him about Stephanie? Good God, she had to tell him.
“Jordan, I’m sorry, but I haven’t been—”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He pressed a finger to her lips to quiet her. “I set up this whole outing because I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Since Sunday, all I could think about was kissing you again. I just wanted to be with you. But I got greedy and pushed for more.”
“I wasn’t exactly an unwilling participant.” Moved by his confession, she had to say it. She was being dishonest enough as it was.
A ray of hope flickered in his eyes. “I still want to be with you, Holly. Anytime, any way you say.”
“Oh, Jordan,” she whispered, her mind reeling with conflicting emotions. “You don’t make things easy.”
Capturing her gaze with the full force of his midnight-blue gaze, Jordan cupped her cheek in his hand. “Easy is never worthwhile.”
Holly searched his face, wanting to find some sliver of insincerity that might save her, knowing she’d be devastated if she did. But the earnest set of his jaw was real; the hope gleaming in his eyes was true.
“All right,” she breathed in uneasy surrender. “But please, let’s slow it down a notch or two.”
They agreed to see each other the following evening. As Holly watched Jordan drive away, however, regret overshadowed the pleasure of anticipation. Another chance to tell him the truth about Stephanie had slipped through her fingers, and she felt terrible.
Jordan’s tender admissions had touched her deeply. He had drawn her back to him with all the right words. But now that he was gone, guilt distorted everything. Now, all those warm, precious words were like needles piercing her heart.
Chapter Eight
“Stephanie, please stop crying. These things happen.”