by Penny Kline
‘Is that what Rosalie told your father?’
‘Could have been. Why? It was a long time ago. I doubt if Dawn can remember him.’
‘He turned up on Monday,’ Izzy said.
Stuart looked surprised. ‘Really? Here, at your house?’
‘Obviously, I’d never met him before, although I’d seen a photo, but that was taken years ago. At first, I wasn’t sure I believed him, but he knew so much about Dawn, and Rosalie, and my family. He told me he and Dawn used to meet in a café, in Chester, in secret. Rosalie never knew.’
‘I wonder why she preferred to let everyone think he was dead.’
‘A few months ago, I’m not certain exactly when, Dawn wrote, asking her father to lend her money.’
‘That’s what he told you?’ Stuart’s hand was enclosed by all four of Blanche’s paws. He manoeuvred it free and stood up, crossing to the window at the front. ‘So he knows where she is.’
‘No. That’s why he called round. She gave him an old address and went round there later to collect the cheque. She must have kept her key, or had a new one cut.’
‘You’re guessing all this?’
‘No, I spoke to a student who’s living there now. A woman with long fair hair was seen the same day the letter to Dawn disappeared from the shelf where it had been left. Also, I heard from Rosalie a week ago and Dawn asked her for money too, but that was when she was still in Portugal.’
She was searching in a drawer for Rosalie’s letter. When she found it she gave it to Stuart, watching his face as he read. Could she trust him? For all she knew, he might be in touch with Rosalie and the two of them might be planning … What was she thinking? For a split second, she wished she had handed the whole thing over to the police. Cressy was safe, but Dawn could be planning anything. The more she thought about it, the less she understood why the baby had been left outside her house. The fake letter from a firm of solicitors was mad. Dawn would know she would see through it immediately.
Supposing Miles had said he would stay with her, but not if she kept Cressy. No, that made no sense. He loved Dominic – that was one thing Wendy Bruton sounded totally sure about – and nothing she had heard about Miles led her to think he would have chosen Dawn over his own daughter. On the other hand, how could he tell Wendy he had a daughter when their own baby – a girl – had died soon after she was born?
If only she had taken more notice, the one time she met Miles. If she knew him better she might have some idea as to how he was likely to behave. Dawn could manipulate people. Was Miles a manipulator? She doubted it. On the other hand, Dawn could have pushed him too far. Then what would she do? What was the worst thing anyone could do to punish someone who refused to fit in with their plans? Some people see suicide as something shameful, reflecting badly on those around the victim who should have seen it coming.
Stuart folded Rosalie’s letter and handed it back. He was wearing jeans and a thick grey sweater speckled with black, and he looked solid and reassuring. She was just about to offer him a drink when she heard a dragging noise upstairs. Josh searching for his possessions? Surely he would have the decency to keep quiet until after Stuart had left.
‘The postscript,’ Stuart said, ‘did Dawn tell you why she was off school so long with a virus?’
‘I think I assumed it was something like glandular fever.’
He continued to stand by the window. There was a full moon. Perhaps he was watching a flock of birds. Did they fly in flocks at night?
‘What is your job exactly?’ she asked. ‘You carry out research, do you, how many birds of which species live by the estuary, what they eat, where they go in the winter?’
‘You’re interested in birds?’
‘Yes. I don’t know very much. I believe there are lapwings and avocets on the mud flats. Is that right?’
He gave her look that said ‘you’re not really interested, you just want to know if I can help you in your search for Dawn.’ ‘I’ve thought about it,’ he said, ‘tried to remember if anything was said, but nothing comes back. I lived nearby when Dawn was a young child, but you know her far better than I ever did.’
‘If something unpleasant happened, my mother liked to protect us from it. If it didn’t fit in with the nice, safe world she had created.’
‘You’re saying you think Dawn did something bad? What kind of a thing?’
‘I don’t know.’ Izzy thought she could hear a tap running. ‘I don’t think her father does either.’
‘But her mother –’
‘Rosalie would never tell me.’
He turned round, smiling. ‘Are you going to tell me the truth about what’s been going on the last two or three weeks.’
Josh was coming down the stairs, yawning. He had taken off his T-shirt and had a towel round his shoulders. ‘Just washed my hair,’ he explained. Then, pretending to be surprised. ‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t know Izzy had a visitor.’
‘This is Stuart.’ Izzy was shaking with anger. ‘He knew Dawn before she and her mother moved to Chester.’
‘The famous Dawn.’ Josh sat down, still rubbing his wet hair.
‘Josh had an accident,’ Izzy said. ‘He came round to tell me he’d recovered. He’s leaving now.’
‘Am I? No rush, is there? What’s your line of country, Stuart? You live in Exeter, do you?’
Stuart was moving towards the door. Izzy opened her mouth to say again that Josh was just about to leave. It was a waste of time. How could Josh be so thoughtless? But it wasn’t thoughtlessness: he had done it on purpose. A punishment because she had refused to let him back into her life. Why didn’t she just tell Stuart the truth? But it was too late.
Just before he started down the road, Stuart glanced back at her and she knew, from the expression on his face, what he was thinking. If you were living with someone, why on earth did you let me think you were on your own?
Dearest Miles,
By now Izzy will have been in touch with the right people and arrangements will be under way, just as we intended. After all, one has the right to make whoever one pleases a guardian of one’s child. I looked it up in the library. Very badly explained, by the some cretin in the civil service I suppose, but they do at least spell out the letter of the law.
My mother once read a book – I think it was called The Bad Seed – all about a girl who had inherited criminal genes, or perhaps I should call them psychopathic genes. Anyway, my mother must have been so afraid I’d inherited some from my father that she was determined to knock me into shape. And when I say “knock”, I mean literally. God know, Miles, I’ve given Izzy enough help in my time. She always had an obstinate streak but I knew how to handle her, still do. I have ways and means, as they say! When she realises what’s likely to happen, she’ll get a grip of herself and do as she’s told. If not – well, that doesn’t bear thinking about does it, Miles.
Love you always, Dawn.
PS. There’s a robin on the holly tree outside the window. Once I saw a dead one. A cat had got it. It could have killed a sparrow but it had chosen a robin. Some cats deserve what they get. And some people too.
Chapter Eighteen
‘I’m worried about Dominic.’
‘Has something happened?’ Izzy was with Wendy Bruton, in a café near the river, quite close to where Josh had fallen in – or been pushed.
‘He hates Miles,’ Wendy said, ‘told me he’d like to kill him. He’s been having bad dreams, nightmares. Normally I would never let him sleep in my bed but –’
‘He’s upset, and not knowing where his father’s gone must make it worse. Where is he now?’
‘At a friend’s house. A friend from school. He didn’t want to go but I made him. You think I’m too hard on him, don’t you?’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘It’s the impression I get. You think I frightened Miles away.’
‘No, of course I don’t. It’s never crossed my mind, and as for Dominic I’m sure it’s best if his li
fe carries on as normally as possible.
‘He thinks Miles doesn’t love him, but he does, I know he does. That day he went out and never came back … He must have gone to see Dawn. I’m certain he did. Something to do with the phone call. She must have threatened him. Or persuaded him. Is she the type who –’
‘Yes.’
‘But he’d have been in touch with us – if not for my sake, for Dominic’s, he adores him.’
‘Where do you think he is?’ She could hear church bells. It reminded her of the day she had visited Rosalie and Francis, not long ago but it felt like an age.
‘I think he’s returned to Portugal.’ Wendy pushed aside her cup. ‘She must have convinced him he ought to be with her, not us. Men are like that. If women put enough pressure on them they give in – for a quiet life. Miles hates arguments.’
Izzy sipped her tepid cappuccino. Wendy had insisted on buying her a Danish pastry. She had no appetite but would eat it to keep Wendy happy. Wendy happy? She said Miles liked a quiet life but what was worse – an argument or losing your son? What was it about Dawn that Miles had been drawn to? No one who lived with her would have had a quiet life. ‘Even if you’re right,’ she said, ‘he could still have got in touch. It’s not that long ago, perhaps they’re travelling round.’
‘What difference would that make? An email or text. You mean Dawn stopped him? How could she?’
‘I don’t know, Wendy.’ Why was she lying to her – when she was so certain Dawn was still in Devon? She was lying because she had no proof, because, in spite of the parcel, and the letter from the solicitor’s, nothing she said would bring any relief to Wendy, or to poor Dominic. Had Dawn tricked Miles into having a baby? She wouldn’t put it past her. It was an accident, Miles, but you don’t mind, do you? Think of it, our own baby, yours and mine.
A waitress approached to ask if there was anything they needed, but Wendy waved her aside. ‘Dominic remembered something else,’ she said. ‘At least, I think he may have remembered it all along, but he dislikes being pressurized.’
‘I don’t blame him.’
‘But in the circumstances.’
‘What did he remember?’ Izzy had little hope the boy would have recalled anything important, anything that would be of any use to her. On the other hand, the smallest crumb of information would be welcome. ‘You mean he remembered something about his father’s phone call?’
She nodded. ‘It didn’t make much sense. I thought he must have heard wrong but he’s adamant he didn’t.’
‘What was it?’
Wendy took a deep breath. ‘I’m afraid it means everything else he told you was a waste of time. He says he heard his father say “of course I love her”. So it can’t have been Dawn on the phone, can it? He must have been talking to someone else, someone who knows her.’
But the most likely explanation was that he was referring to Cressy.
‘Have you contacted Miles’ friends? People he used to work with? He might have said something to one of them.’ A thought suddenly occurred to her. ‘When he came back from Portugal did he return to his old job?’
Wendy shook her head. ‘Said he was going to run his own business.’
‘Doing what?’
‘I’m not sure. He was setting up a website.’
‘Did he take his laptop with him when he left?’
‘No, it’s in his office.’
The chance of his laptop having anything relevant was remote, but she needed to persuade Wendy it was worth looking. ‘Do you know the password?’
‘Yes, it was –’
‘You needn’t tell me, but you could have a look at his emails.’
Wendy blushed. ‘I’ve done that already.’
‘And.’
‘Nothing. Nothing from her I mean. Just stuff connected with the work he wanted to do.’
‘Do you have your own computer?’
‘Only at work.’
So that was a dead end. Izzy would like to have checked Miles’ computer herself but she could hardly ask to do that. Now all she had done was give Wendy a moment’s hope then dashed it. Wendy was no fool. With what information she had she would have made as many checks as she could. The trouble was, Izzy had to admit, she’d told Wendy so little.
‘I’m still trying to trace Dawn,’ she said, ‘did Dominic mention anything else he’d heard, anything at all, however seemingly unimportant?’
‘Only about the setting sun. And apparently Miles asked if there was access – Dominic said “axes” – from another direction.’
‘I’m so sorry, Wendy, this is awful for you.’
‘And it seems important to you too. Is it simply because Dawn’s your friend, or is there another reason you need to find her?’
‘As I said before –’
‘Her mother’s worried. Yes, I know, so why do I keep think you’re doing all this on your own behalf? No, don’t say it’s because you want to help me and Dominic. You know something about Dawn, don’t you? I’m not going to force you to tell me. How could I? I feel totally powerless and if it wasn’t for Dominic –’
‘Just give me a few more days.’ Izzy flinched at her own words, the same words she kept repeating to everyone who knew the truth, or at least some half-truths.
But not to DS Fairbrother. Would she call round again? Izzy made a bargain in her head. If Fairbrother came round she would tell her what she suspected. If not, she would give it one more week, no five more days, then phone her and arrange to meet her at the police station.
Before she made any more moves, she had to talk to Stuart. It was humiliating. He was likely to refuse to see her. But she was past caring what people thought of her.
This time, when she phoned, he answered the call himself.
‘Stuart? It’s me, Izzy.’
‘Yes, I know who it is.’
‘I have to see you. I know it’s Sunday but –’
‘I got the wrong impression about your life. My mistake.’
‘Josh – the man you saw. I used to live with him, but we split up several weeks ago.’
‘No need to explain.’
His voice was icily polite but she ploughed on, praying he wouldn’t ring off. ‘The day before yesterday, or I suppose technically speaking it was yesterday, around two in the morning, he fell into the river. He was out with friends, claims he was pushed, but since they’d all been drinking I imagine someone did it for a joke. He hit his head, had to be rescued, but I don’t think it was half as bad as he’s making out. He’d come round to try to persuade me to let him convalesce in my house but I’d refused. He was getting revenge.’
‘In what way?’
‘Oh, never mind. Look, can we meet up somewhere? I’m so worried about Dawn and –’
‘That pub where we met before.’
‘Yes. Thanks.’
‘Give me half an hour. Oh, and wrap up warm, it’s freezing out.’
Last time the place had been virtually empty. This time it was crowded and they had to stand in a corner, leaning against the wall. In contrast to the cold wind outside, the pub was hot and stuffy.
‘Thank you for coming.’ Izzy sipped her orange juice.
‘You wanted to ask me something about Dawn.’
‘Yes.’ Had he accepted her explanation about Josh’s presence in her house? Did he see her as a friend, or had he agreed to meet up because he felt it his duty? ‘I need your advice.’
‘Am I the best person?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘What kind of advice?’
She told him about the name Cressy, about the foster family, the parcel with the soft toy she recognised as the one that had sat on Dawn’s bedroom windowsill in Chester. He listened carefully without interrupting until she came to the part about Wendy Bruton and her son.
‘You say the boy overheard a telephone call from Dawn to Miles? How do you know it was Dawn who phoned him?’
‘I don’t – but not long after the call he went out an
d never came back.’
‘So where are they now?’
‘I haven’t a clue.’ She told him about The Railway Inn and the deserted cottage, not too far off, that she had been so certain was the one where Dawn was living. And her attempts to find other possible cottages, to ask around without arousing the suspicions of the locals.
‘You could’ve been right the first time,’ Stuart said. ‘Have you been back?’
She shook her head. ‘How does she imagine I could keep Cressy?’
‘Either she hopes you’d pretend it was your own child – although that’s pretty well impossible these days – or, and this is far more likely, she’s not thinking rationally.’
‘In the past if she wanted something badly enough she usually got it. Once at school she started a secret society, a kind of special elite of six members who had to wear small leather badges on their blazers. None of us knew what the badges had been made of then another girl showed the teacher a book she’d borrowed from the library. It was leather-bound, a volume of poetry, and six circular pieces had been cut from it.’
He smiled. ‘Were you part of the elite?’
‘Unfortunately I was. We all got punished, but Dawn saw the punishment as a kind of rite, a bonding.’
‘I can imagine. As a small child, she used to be excessively friendly one day then the next time you saw her she could act as if you were a total stranger.’
‘Yes, I know.’ Izzy was thinking about her mother’s rationalization of Dawn’s moods. She’s gifted. Gifted people are seen by others as very lucky but giftedness comes with a price. If Dawn’s finding things difficult it’s up to the rest of us to help her.
‘I’m sorry.’ Izzy came back to the present with a jolt. ‘Would you like another drink?’
‘No thanks. That time when you were looking for your cat and I said I just happened to be in your area, it was a lie. I wanted to see you.’
‘Thank you for helping me to look.’
‘Did you hear what I said?’
‘Yes.’ The relief that she longer had to pretend, combined with the relief at having told him about Dawn was so great she felt near to collapse.