by C. L. Stone
“God damn it,” Gabriel said, and he must have realized the same thing. He grabbed at my arm, pulling me toward the bed. “You can’t do that shit to her.”
Luke laughed, tugging at my other arm. “Hey, you can’t pull on my fiancée like that.”
“It doesn’t count. You tricked her.”
“Guys?” I whispered, grinning.
Luke let go of my arm. “She’s gotten a bunch already.”
“That makes you as bad as Rocky and that other idiot,” Gabriel said, pulling me onto the bed with him. I crawled up until I was sitting on the edge. Gabriel stuffed the blanket around his shoulders as he sat next to me. He rubbed a palm at his sleepy eyes. “Which reminds me, we need to figure out how we’re going to stop this stupid obsession. If this catches on, it’ll turn into guys bullying her instead.”
The house creaked. I froze, trying to fix on the sound. Was it a normal house settling creak or something else?
Gabriel was oblivious. “And Rocky’s on the football team. We don’t need the whole team doing that to her.”
I leaned over, hovering above him, as I extended a finger out to his lips, pushing a fingertip to his mouth to get his attention. His eyes widened and his lips closed. My cheeks teased with heat. It was like he was kissing my finger.
A distinctive creak of the pushpin being pulled from the wall sent me falling to the floor in a panic. I meant to get out of the way for Gabriel to get past me to get inside the attic. Instead, he shoved the cover over his head.
Luke seized me by the waist, dragging me into the attic with him. I spilled out onto my back. My shirt got shoved up, exposing my stomach and my back scratched against the wood. My bad ankle locked into an odd position, and I bit at my tongue to try to ease the pain. Luke hovered on all fours over me, closing the door behind us.
The door to my bedroom crashed open against the wall.
“What are you doing in bed?” Marie’s voice filtered through to us. I heaved a sigh. While it wouldn’t be good for Marie to catch Gabriel here, it wasn’t as bad as my mother.
Through the attic door, Gabriel groaned, girly, muffled.
“Sick?” Marie asked. “Why’d you move your stuff around?”
More mumbling.
Dry air clamped down on my throat. I started coughing. Luke shifted above me, drawing himself down against my body and covering me with his frame. His hand found the back of my head and he stuffed my face into his chest. I tried to swallow and breathe but it felt like the more I breathed in, the more I needed to cough.
Outside in the bedroom, Gabriel started coughing, too, masking my noise.
“You’re not going to puke, are you?” Marie asked. “I came to check in. I’m going back. She’s asleep again.”
Tears threatened my eyes. My body shuttered against Luke’s as I tried to swallow back a cough. His lips found my ear.
“Hang on, sugar,” he whispered. “One more minute.”
I pressed my face to his chest and smashed my mouth against his shirt.
“You should get some water,” Marie said.
Silence lasted for a few minutes. I swallowed over and over again to hold back a cough.
The attic door burst open. Gabriel lunged inside and Luke pushed me out. Coughing spasms took over. I scrambled for the bed.
The door was still wide open but Marie was gone. I gasped for air, got up from the bed and crept to the door.
Marie was in her bedroom, digging through clothes on her floor. I crossed the hallway to the bathroom, tucking my head under the sink to drink water from the tap.
Marie entered and nudged my body while I was upside down and I ended up with some water up my nose. I pulled back, pushing a palm to my face as I coughed and sneezed out water. Beautiful.
Marie yanked open a drawer and dug through the back for some make up. She shoved some into her book bag. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” she said. She walked down the hallway and down the back stairs.
Did she really check in with mom? She didn’t even notice the IV. She also didn’t notice the bandages on my wrists and around my ankles. How often did my family walk by each other and never really see? The guys noticed bandages, bruises, my hair pulled back in my clip, the way I moved... How blind was I to their movements and the small things? I vowed to myself to start noticing everything. It mattered to me. I wanted to notice those things because it touched me when they noticed them about me.
I found a wash cloth and cleaned my face. I selected a bottle of over the counter pain medications. I was tired of my ankle throbbing and my tailbone aching.
When I got back to my room, the boys were still behind the attic door. Did they not hear her leaving? I closed and locked the door again, moving to the attic door and pulling it open.
It was dark and I didn’t see them at first. “Luke?” I whispered.
His head popped out from the back. He crawled forward. “How did you hear her coming?”
I shrugged. “I’m used to it.”
“Yeah, but Gabriel was talking,” he said. He knelt on all fours just inside the door as if hesitating.
“Oy,” Gabriel called from behind him. “Get out.”
“We should stay in here,” Luke said. “That was close enough.”
“We won’t go far,” Gabriel said. “We’ll stay behind the bookshelf. It’s too hot in here.”
I backed away as the two of them slinked out onto the mauve carpet behind the bookshelf. Luke did look relieved.
Gabriel sprawled out on his stomach, breathing in the air. “Oh god,” he said. “I was flipping out. I thought she was going to look under the blanket for sure when I started coughing.”
“How’s your throat?” Luke asked me.
I smiled. “It’s fine now. Are you guys okay?”
“Yeah,” Gabriel said. “Where did she go?”
“She went back to Danielle’s.”
He smirked. “Those two deserve each other. She didn’t even care you were sick.”
I twisted my lips. “There wasn’t much she could do if I was.”
“Sure she could,” he said, getting up on his knees. “She could have offered to get you medicine or at least checked your temperature. Something. Anything.”
I rattled the bottle of medicine in my hands. “I’m not five,” I said, grinning. “I can take my temperature.”
“That’s not the point,” Gabriel said. “You’re family and everything.”
My eyes drifted and I noticed I was looking at the wall, the carpet, the open attic door, Gabriel’s black sneaker. I forced my eyes to look at his crystal blue ones. “Is that what your family does?” I didn’t want to challenge him. I was curious. I’d read different things in books and watched how people responded to family in movies.
Was it real that a mother would make a kid chicken soup and tuck him into bed? If I was sick, my mother told me what to do for myself. Maybe when I was really young, around six or so and before my mother got sick, I could remember her hovering over me. It was distant, a hazy memory that didn’t seem to match who she was now.
Was it even real or was I just hoping that once upon a time, my parents might have been normal?
Gabriel’s lips pursed and he shrugged. “All families should do it.”
He didn’t directly answer the question. It had me curious but Luke leaned forward, reaching around me for the laptop that was still on the floor. It distracted me and the question was lost.
Gabriel’s eyes latched onto the bottle of medicine again. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
What wasn’t wrong? I was sore, my tailbone hurt and my throat was itching. “My ankle,” I said, reaching for the easiest thing. “I don’t think sitting on that stool helped the bruised bones.”
Gabriel shook his head. “Trouble, you should say something when you’re hurt.” He snatched the bottle from me. Chucking it across the room, he pulled a prescription bottle without a label from his back pocket. He twisted the top and spilled the contents into his palm. It was fu
ll of a variation of different pills.
“What are those?” I whispered.
He ignored me, finding two red, slim capsules. “Here. Take these,” he said, placing them in my open palm.
I flipped the pills over, looking for markings. “What are they?”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Will you just listen to the doctor? Take them.”
“You’re a doctor?”
Luke laughed, shaking his head. “It’s fine, Sang.”
I hesitated, but grabbed one of the water bottles still sitting around and swigged down the pills.
Gabriel nodded, beaming. “See? Gotta trust me.”
“If I die, I’m coming back to haunt you.”
They both laughed.
The pills he gave me worked, and I wasn’t feeling sore or the crack in my tailbone. I learned later they were muscle relaxers, given to him by Dr. Green just for me. That evening, I made a quick dinner for the guys and afterward, I sought out extra pillows and blankets. They set up a cubby space for the two of them in the attic. The floor of the attic left just enough space so they could sleep side by side with their heads near the door.
Gabriel complained about the heat. I found a fan in the shed and plugged it in, pointing it in their direction. That seemed to help.
I checked on my mom and tried to wake her up. I offered her some soup and put the cup near her bed. She grumbled through half open eyes and drifted off again. I wondered if whatever Luke gave her to breathe in might still be lingering in her system. I sent a text to Dr. Green. His reply said if she didn’t wake up again and actually eat something by the next morning to call him.
By nine, I was curled up on the bed, pretending to read but my eyes started drooping. The boys were preoccupied in the attic with the laptops.
I meant to get up and brush my teeth and do other things to stay awake. With the boys there, I felt awkward falling asleep so early. I turned over on the bed, putting the book down for only a minute to let my eyes rest.
WHAT A FAMILY IS
I dreamed of being swallowed up by a dragon. His fire breath licked at my feet on my way down into his belly.
I shot upright in my bed. Two bodies enclosed on either side of me. In the darkness I caught Luke’s blond head to my left and Gabriel on his side on the right. Did I not feel them crawling into bed with me? Was I okay with this?
I couldn’t kick them out. They looked exhausted. I secretly didn’t want them to go away, either. I was terrified we would get caught, but my sleepy head dismissed this, and instead desired their closeness. I felt less lonely with them beside me.
I shifted onto my side to try to give them more room. I relaxed against the pillow, listening to the noises in the house.
When I woke up again, Luke’s arm was draped over my side, his nose pressed to my shoulder. Gabriel leaned against me, his foot on top of my ankle. I was hot and uncomfortable but didn’t want to move, didn’t want to wake them. Squished, I forced myself to go back to sleep.
The air shifted around us, causing a draft against the wisps of hair across my forehead. My eyes fluttered but I closed them again promptly. I dismissed it because the attic door was open and I didn’t know if maybe I was sensing changes to the weather outside through it.
Dual smacking sounds shattered the silence. Gabriel stiffened next to me and jolted up until he was sitting. Luke tumbled away in a shot and fell out of the bed.
I leapt up, scrambling on my knees until I was upright, afraid. I held my hands up, wary of monsters, of demons from my dreams suddenly come to life.
“Ow,” Gabriel grumbled. “What the fuck?” He sat on the edge of the bed, a hand shoved against his face. Luke was on his knees on the floor, covering his forehead with a palm.
“At least Sang is paying attention.” Kota’s voice sounded through the dark. The window was open behind him and a gentle breeze picked up the back of his hair. “What are you two doing sleeping?”
Did he not ask why they were sleeping next to me? Didn’t it bother him that they stayed so close with me? My insides shook at fully realizing they had slept in the bed with me. While I was half asleep, I appreciated that they were close by. Now that I was fully aware, it felt strange and especially awkward that Kota knew about it.
“The attic sucks,” Gabriel whined. “And we were right here with Sang. Nothing happened.”
“Mr. Blackbourne left you both here so you’d take shifts. Do I have to explain it?” He turned to me. “How are you?”
I swallowed thickly. “Fine, I think.”
“Nathan’s outside,” Kota said. “He’s going to take you both over to Silas’s apartment. Victor’s there already.”
Nathan had a car? I didn’t know he could drive.
Gabriel grumbled, feeling around in the dark for his shoes. “What time is it?”
“Four AM,” Kota said. “Welcome to it.” He removed the pillow from the head of the bed so he could crawl, sitting on the edge near me. “Gabriel, go with Victor to finalize some things. Make sure you check in with Mr. Blackbourne. Luke, you’ve got homework duty.”
“I hate homework duty,” Luke said, but he stood up, rubbing at his eyes. He stumbled forward, bending over and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “Bye, Sang.”
An arm hooked around my neck from behind me. I was pulled back and Gabriel dropped his nose to the top of my hair. “Oy, Trouble,” he said. “Don’t let Kota boss you around.”
“Get out of here guys,” Kota said. “Nathan’s waiting.”
Luke crawled through the window, followed by Gabriel. Kota got off the bed to close the window behind them.
“I thought we were supposed to stay off of the roof,” I said.
Kota pointed a finger at me. “You are supposed to stay off the roof. But no. We’re not ready to start sneaking in the back door yet.”
“We’re going to be ready for that?” I asked, moving to kneel on the bed, grabbing the blanket and wrapping it around my body. Now that the surprise was over, I was chilled. The ceiling fan and the fan pointed at the attic stirred the cool night air seeping in.
“We have to be ready for lots of things,” he replied. He dropped on the bed next to me, his arm moving behind my back. He leaned against me, his shoulder pressing to mine. “You knew I was in the room before the other two. I saw you open up your eyes. How did you know?”
“I felt the air shift,” I said. “Probably from when you opened the window.”
“You’re a light sleeper?”
I nodded. I normally was. That’s what surprised me about waking up with the guys next to me. I blamed the red pills Gabriel had given me.
I breathed in deeply in a half yawn, smelling fresh soap and his spice. How early in the morning did he get up?
“You should still be more careful,” he said. “I had time to get in and thunk those two in the head. It would have been enough time for your mom or Marie to open that door and catch us.”
“I thought they were going to sleep in the attic,” I said. “They snuck into the bed after I passed out last night.” I shifted on the bed, pushing back the blanket from my shoulders to rub at my cheek and yawn.
“If they try that again, tell them to get back in the attic. Someone is supposed to stay awake and they aren’t fast enough to get into the attic from the bed in a dead sleep.”
I nodded. The skin around the bandages itched. I lifted the corner of one on my wrist, to peek at the wound. It wasn’t a cut, but the skin had been rubbed raw, enough to make the skin scab over. I ripped off the other one at my wrist and the two at my ankles.
Kota stood and collected a book bag that had been dropped by the window. He plopped the bag onto the bed and dug through the contents. “Silas got these for you.” He handed over a small plastic bag with a sports store logo on the outside.
Inside the bag were two hot pink sport wrist bands. I smiled. “He was asking about my favorite color.”
“Gabriel would have a fit,” Kota said, putting the bag aside and s
itting next to me again. “I agree with Silas, though. We’ll need to hide those scabs on Monday.”
“I like them.”
The corner of his mouth jerked up briefly. “Good. He’ll be glad to hear it from you.” He brushed his fingertips at my wrist, tugging my hand close so he could examine my skin. “God, Sang... it’s awful.”
I pressed my fingers into my palm and withdrew my hand away from him. “It’s fine. It’ll heal,” I said softly.
Kota’s gaze fixed on me, his glasses glinting a little from the morning light. His face came close to mine. “Stop doing that to yourself,” he said. His finger drifted to my cheek, curling a lock of my hair between his fingers. “You’re dismissing what’s been done to you.”
I scrunched my eyebrows together. “I remember everything,” I said.
“But you’re not angry. You’re not complaining. Would you even tell me if your head hurt, or if your stomach hurt, if you thought I wouldn’t notice? Would you have told me about the rice on the floor or even about the shower if no one knew?”
I bit my lip, glancing away. I didn’t know the answer to that. Was I supposed to tell people about every little ache and problem? No one else needed to deal with it.
“What else hurts?” he asked me. His fingers sought out my chin and he brought my face around so I was looking at his eyes again. “Sang, when you’re friends with someone, you’re honest with them. Tell me what hurts.”
I swallowed again, feeling my lips tremble. Why did I find it so difficult to talk now? As soon as he asked me the question though, I really didn’t feel anything hurting at all. Most of it was my tailbone and at the moment since I wasn’t moving, it didn’t hurt. My wrists were tender and he already knew that. The pain in my ankle wasn’t bothering me yet.
“Sang,” he whispered, but the power in his voice was taking over, commanding an answer.
“I am a little sore,” I offered.
“Is that it?”
“And my wrists and ankles...”