by C. L. Stone
“But what were they going to do if Sang ever tried to get a job? Or get her license?” Kota asked. “She was bound to find out.”
“IDs are stolen all the time,” Dr. Green said. “We know that. But you’re right, Mr. Sorenson hadn’t thought this through. Someone might have discovered eventually that Miss Sorenson’s records weren’t genuine. If she gets her driver’s license, that’d be one solid ID that she could use to get most anything else she needed, up until she tried to apply for a credit card. Either she would have gotten lucky and offices would turn a blind eye and see it as a mistake and issue her new things, or they’d check it out. It might be why he’s really interested in this particular school. She’d be eighteen before she was released. That would give him time to figure out the next step.”
“But now that we have her,” Mr. Blackbourne said, “the ideal situation would be to keep her record completely clean. If possible.”
The new realization settled into Kota, and he sat back. This made it incredibly complicated. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to care about this. Not at the risk of her safety. He knew it would never come to that. They wouldn’t allow Sang to risk her life for the hope of keeping her a ghost bird.
But if what they were saying was true, the Academy would do anything to collect her. And if their group asked for help and paid in favors to save her, they’d find out for sure.
Mr. Blackbourne nodded quietly as the group seemed to come to understand the full significance. “If we turn to the Academy for help, we’ll expose her for what she is and there’s a strong chance they’ll convince her to join and under their terms. Even if she wanted to stay with us, they’d dangle promises to release all of our favor debts and even put us in the positive in exchange for her working with a team they select. Once she realizes she has the ability to command such a price, and with her sweet disposition, she’d agree to it in a heartbeat. We already know she’d put her own life at risk just to save you guys from a fight.”
Dr. Green inhaled sharply. “If we let the police handle this, it’ll take away one of the most valuable assets…”
“She’s not an asset,” Victor barked.
“You are an asset,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “Every one of you. And like it or not, right now she’s worth ten of you.”
Victor’s head jerked back. “We can’t… I mean…” His eyes turned to Kota. “What are we supposed to do?”
“We have to convince Mr. Sorenson to release her to us,” Kota said. He didn’t like this answer. It was against his morals to see Mr. Sorenson get away with anything. At least Mrs. Sorenson had an excuse, being ill. He had none, and practically caused Mrs. Sorenson’s mental state. “If we can do that, we won’t need to turn to the Academy. It’ll buy us time to win her over and to get her to understand how this works.”
“We have to find out the truth, first,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “I won’t ask any of you to go into this blindly. Whether or not Mr. Sorenson raped anyone, he still had a child with an underage girl. Who knows if there might be more. We already know he’s not beyond trying to smother secrets.”
Dr. Green nodded. “And we need to keep her where she is for now until we figure it out. We can’t let the police in on this. And if we want to keep her with us when the Academy finds out, we’ll have to figure out how we can get the Academy to let us keep her with our team.”
“I don’t want her in the Academy,” Kota said. “It’s too dangerous.”
“We may not have that choice,” Dr. Green said. “They’ll find out eventually and they’ll want her, and she’s already interested. You can tell just by looking at her.”
“We need to get to work with her,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “Stay near her, build her confidence. Trust building has to start now. We might be able to circumvent any long term damage her mother has done to her. You also, though, have to give her a little time alone. Filling her life up only distracts her from processing what has happened to her and puts off the inevitable. There’s a strong possibility she’ll want to fly solo. We want to avoid that. She’s already shown signs of avoidant personality.”
“What does that mean?” Nathan asked.
“Emotional distancing,” Dr. Green said. “She shows some social isolation. She thinks it’s her versus the world. If we want her to feel connected to us, we’ll need to break through that. She might continue to keep things to herself for a while.”
“What do we do?” North asked. He crossed his arms over his chest. “We have three months to figure out what happened to Sang’s mom, try to convince her dad to release her to us, do our Ashley Waters job, and somehow convince the Academy and her that she should stay on our team, with or without her officially becoming a member. They already don’t want birds on dog teams.”
“We’re working on it,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “We don’t know what will happen. Let’s focus on finding out the truth.”
Dr. Green cleared his throat. “At any rate, we’ve got a lot to do with her right now. We’ll have to help her adjust to living alone in that house.”
“She won’t be alone,” Silas said.
“No, she won’t,” Kota said. “If we back off now to give her space, she might feel we’re abandoning her, too.”
“It’s too late to back down, and I doubt any of you would, anyway,” Mr. Blackbourne said.
“This is what I thought we should talk about as well,” Dr. Green stated. “I know you boys are trying your best to make her feel included. Goodness knows, she needs it. You have to take it slow with her, though. She’s already admitted that she’s never really been touched or hugged or anything before.”
Mr. Blackbourne nodded. “I think it’s best we establish ground rules now. The first one should probably be no intimate contact of any kind. No dating. Nothing romantic.”
The surge of rejection toward this idea reverberated, surprisingly, from the others in the group around Kota.
“I don’t approve,” Victor called out, using the more formal method of rejection established by the Academy.
“I don’t approve,” echoed Gabriel, in a louder voice, as if trying to establish he felt stronger about it than Victor. Their eyes locked on each other, and Kota recognized the challenge in their faces.
“I more than disapprove, I reject it entirely,” North grumbled.
Mr. Blackbourne pushed a palm to his forehead. “Good god, don’t tell me it’s already happened.”
Stares zoomed across the table, accusing and daring anyone to speak up and say they’ve done anything to Sang. Kota, most of all, wanted to know exactly what his friends had been up to. He’d dismissed the hand holding, because he did it, too. He dismissed it when she sat in their laps, because he felt a comfort in it. He’d done it with her, so he couldn’t blame the others for doing it. His Academy brothers were friends, yes, and sometimes they shared brotherly hugs. It was limited. Touching Sang was different. She wasn’t a sister or someone out of reach. She was beautiful and sweet and willing to please. When she was near, it was difficult not to reach for her and hang on to her. He didn’t do it all the time just because he didn’t want to scare her.
It was also addicting. The more he touched her, the more he wanted to touch.
He wasn’t so sure he wanted her to share more intimate touches with the rest of his family. When he looked around the table, though, the rage in the others’ eyes established more than enough proof of something Kota had been worried about since they had brought her in.
Mr. Blackbourne nearly jumped to his feet from the stool, pushing his palms to the table to lean on it. “I can’t believe this. This is exactly why we never, ever bring a bird into a dog group. I’ve warned you. I’ve warned all of you.” He lifted a finger into the air to take stabs in Kota’s direction. “You. I’ve warned you about this.”
“I know,” Kota said, lowering his eyes at the table. “She needed us, though.”
Mr. Blackbourne huffed. “Yes, she needed us.” The frown deepened and his critical eyes bore
down at the others. “None of you understand what this means, now. You brought her in without thinking. You’ve moved too fast. Now you all will have to focus. It’s bad enough that she’s at risk for hero worship with any of us, or all of us. She could equate what she believes to be real feelings of love for helping her. That would be dangerous enough for her at her present emotional state. What we don’t need is countertransference on top of it.”
“That’s not what... I mean that’s not how...” Victor said.
“Spit it out, Mr. Morgan,” Mr. Blackbourne said.
Victor frowned. “I’ve already asked her out,” he said flatly, his chin lifting to the air. “She said yes.”
“Did she say yes or did she divert to figure out what answer you wanted and did whatever would please you?”
“She said she wanted to,” Victor countered, but his voice wavered. “She can tell me what she wants or doesn’t. She’s done it before with me.”
Mr. Blackbourne narrowed his eyes at him. “She’s hungry for attention. A certain kind, at least. She doesn’t know what is too far because she’s socially inept. I’ve seen what she does. She’s done it to me, too. She’ll fix those eyes on you and lets you touch her, even if she’s uncomfortable or unsure, because she doesn’t want to disappoint you. And from the looks from your brothers here, I can tell she’s done that to everyone.”
Jaws became firm, more stares, mostly toward Victor, for daring to cross a line they themselves had probably told themselves they wouldn’t. Not yet. Not when she’s gone through so much. Kota felt the heat rising to his face, knowing that while he pushed those same thoughts from his mind, he was always thinking of it.
And he couldn’t blame them. She was beautiful, sweet, and they’d all be idiots not to want to get closer.
Mr. Blackbourne didn’t have to say it. They could go on dates with girls they met if they wanted to. The problem usually came from the girls they asked out. Academy members often had to disappear because of Academy business, sometimes for as long as a week, and had to lie to cover that up. Most girls couldn’t understand and didn’t trust them. Often enough, the guys were flat out too busy to date anyone.
They could date other Academy girls, as many Academy members sometimes resorted to doing, but most of the local Academy girls weren’t to his taste. He’d dated a couple, but it was short lived. He knew the others sometimes had done so, on and off, but they mostly had the same reaction.
And there were so few Academy girls that they were often taken.
Now they had Sang. Sang was an exception. She knew about the Academy, and she willingly accepted their absences and excuses. She was the only one who had gotten so close. Part of it was because she needed it. And she was so vulnerable. One look at her and you could tell what she wanted without her saying so. Didn’t she say she was lonely the night before and stayed with Nathan because of it? She preferred to be with them, even when given the choice to be alone. That meant something, Kota knew. Kota wondered if she would have gone to him if he had been around.
If she had an avoidant personality, like Mr. Blackbourne said, she was breaking through it. She was starting to call them for what she needed. She didn’t reach for his hand, he always had to reach for hers, however, she seemed to be warming up to them. He thought showing up at Nathan’s house when she felt lonely showed she wanted to break through that isolation.
“This is the problem,” Mr. Blackbourne said. He jabbed his finger at the table to make his point. “Supply and demand. There’s nine of us and one of her. What happens when more than one person develops feelings, and possibly false feelings, towards her? I’ll say what. Anger and resentment and jealousy.”
“That’s not what’s going to happen,” Gabriel grumbled.
“It’s already happening,” Mr. Blackbourne snapped, striking his finger in the air at Gabriel. “You’re already fighting over who gets to spend the night with her. You’re breaking cover while on missions to text her or respond to her calls. That girl has the power to bring us all to a crashing burn. Everything we’ve established, all the things we’ve done, and it can be over in a moment because of her.”
“We don’t have to let it happen,” Dr. Green interjected.
“No, we don’t have to let it,” Mr. Blackbourne’s voice rose. “Because it’s stopping right now.”
“We’re not getting rid of her,” Kota said.
“That’s not what I mean,” Mr. Blackbourne flashed those silver eyes at Kota’s face. “I mean everyone being mature about this and not taking things too far with her.”
“If we stop some things, she’s going to notice,” North said. “We’ve been holding her hand. I know the rest of you do it. If we back off of that, she might not understand.”
“This is what’s going to happen,” Mr. Blackbourne barked, his order-giving voice dominating over the others. It was the voice Kota often tried to replicate. “You follow the rules, or you bow out of anything to do with her on a group level. It’s the only way this can work out. As I see it, there’s only one option. Stop where you are, and don’t go any further with her.”
“How the hell do you come up with this shit?” Gabriel called out. “What do you mean?”
“It’s real simple, Mr. Coleman. No one is allowed to become romantically involved at all. Unless you want to risk scaring her, you’ll stop at whatever place you are with her. And you’ll have to deal with the others still holding her hand and going from whatever level they’ve already established.”
“You mean sharing her?” North said, his head reeling back as he glanced around. “With all of us?”
“That’s exactly what I mean,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “If you can all agree to share her attention, it might be the only way for her to trust us. You also can’t date anyone else right now. She’s too susceptible. It’s a complicated situation now and bringing another bird into the picture could make her back off permanently.”
To Kota, that wasn’t a problem. Ever since he’d met Sang in person and gotten to know her, she was all he’d thought about. He’d taken fewer side assignments just to be around her. He wasn’t interested in anyone else.
Dr. Green stood next to Mr. Blackbourne. “It’s too early to try to date her now, anyway. Feelings are running wild because she’s new, she’s vulnerable and everyone wants to try to protect her and include her. She may discover she doesn’t want to be with us later. That’s her choice. If she chooses to stay with us, you’d want to make sure it is her true desire to stay with us and not because she feels it’s her only option.”
Mr. Blackbourne nodded. “Unless we’re willing to approach the Academy and they want to draw her into another group. If they were going to do it, they’d need to do so right now to start establishing trust. I’m not totally opposed to it if it means her safety is assured, but I have a feeling I’d be outvoted in this.”
Kota sighed, running his fingers through his hair. This wasn’t at all what he pictured this meeting to be about.
Part of him was tempted to go back and talk to her. Maybe he could run off with her. That didn’t seem right, either. For one, he wasn’t sure she would. The other thing was, he couldn’t abandon his family. He cared about her, but he loved his brothers, too. He’d sworn his life to them.
Maybe he should have kept her to himself. It was too late now.
“So it comes down to this,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “You can share her or not, that’s up to you. You’ll have to come to terms with what that means on your own. Until a time when she’s less vulnerable and we’ve got her in a safe position, we have to establish some ground rules.
As far as holding her hand and touching, you can take her as far as she’s allowed you so far, but every next step she has to initiate herself. Has she kissed anyone yet?”
“No,” a few of them said at the same time. Eyes darted across the table for someone to disagree with this statement, but it was pretty obvious. They’d had this argument already. Sang’s revelation at the sleepover
made it clear no one had tried and in the last couple of days, no one would have attempted it.
“Good,” Mr. Blackbourne said. “Here’s the rules. No one is to touch her further than already established. Let me make that clear. Holding hands, fine. Letting her sit in your lap, fine. Anything platonic, that you’d do to a sister, fine. Beyond that, she has to make the first move. That means any touch, kiss, everything.”
“But she’s never done it before,” Gabriel said. “She doesn’t know what she’s doing.”
“Which is why this is important,” Mr. Blackbourne said, touching the brim of his glasses. “It’s the only way you will be able to establish if she really wanted to or if she’s just letting you to please you. If she makes the first move, you’ll know.”
“What about dating?” Victor asked.
“You can take her out, but I prefer you did it with a group or in a public place. If you want something more private, she has to tell you what she wants. Just remember, though, if you’re taking her out, you have to allow the rest of us, too. We need time to get to know her anyway.”
“So we can kiss her and stuff if she says we can?” Gabriel asked.
Kota’s eyes flared. He wanted to kiss her? He stared off at the table, biting his tongue, but his ears strained to hear the answer. He’d wanted to ask the same question.
Mr. Blackbourne shook a finger at Gabriel. “You can’t goad her into telling you she wants to. I mean it. No tricks. No trying to talk her into it.”
Silas cleared his throat for attention. “What about spending the night? We’ve already done that. She prefers when we sleep next to her.”
Mr. Blackbourne frowned. “Why am I answering questions as if you’re all looking for a way to get around the rules and date her? You can’t all date her.”
Kota leaned against the table, putting his head in his hands. Was he ready for this? He’d been putting the thoughts off for a few weeks... or a month? How long has it been since he first started watching Sang?