by Brook Wilder
A bit like Noah.
Why did I have to think of him now?
Diesel pulled into the park and slid the car into a space near the playground, turning the engine off.
“Here we go.”
“Thanks.” I sat back with a sigh. “I’m feeling better already.”
“I can tell.” Diesel turned around and grinned at Hunter, who giggled back. “Wanna go for jump in the sandbox, little man?”
Hunter squealed. I frowned.
“I’ve just got him clean.”
“He’s a baby, Liz. You’re supposed to shove their faces in the dirt. It’s good for them.” Diesel winked. “And I’ve got a babysitter for him as well.”
“You mean you’re not doing it yourself?” I thumped his shoulder. “Cop out.”
“Oh, this babysitter’s a helluva lot prettier. And I’ve got something more important to deal with.” Diesel opened the door. “Come on, let’s go.”
I was beginning to wonder what he was up to. A babysitter? It couldn’t be Cassie because she was at work. I had checked that morning. For a moment, I thought it was Khloe. There was no way I was letting her near Hunter. Not unless she wanted to be mauled by me.
But the woman coming towards us across the parking lot as I got Hunter out the car was not Khloe. If anything, she barely looked old enough to be a woman. Late teens, early twenties, auburn hair in stylish tight curls that bobbed about her shoulders. She wore a tight black sweater with a deep V-neck, showing off a decent amount of cleavage, and jeans that hugged her slim curves. Instead of her usual boots, she was wearing sneakers.
I recognized her. She was one of Khloe’s more recent additions to the brothel. Still a little wet behind the ears but a sweet girl. And from the way Diesel was looking at her, she had managed to snag the gentle giant without any trouble.
She reached us and gave Diesel a shy smile. Diesel blushed and looked away. I bit back a laugh and greeted the girl with a hug.
“Hey, Amber.”
“Liz.” The nineteen-year-old kid hugged me back and frowned at me as I drew away. “I heard what happened with Khloe.”
“She’s a bitch.”
“She’s my boss, so no comment.” Amber turned to Hunter and knelt down, giving him a smile. “Hey, Hunter. You’ve gotten so big, peanut! How are you?”
That was one of the things I liked about Amber. She was very good with kids. Hunter had taken to her immediately and Amber didn’t mind if he hung around her. Diesel had remembered Hunter’s obsession with Amber and her curls, which he was always tugging whenever he was able. Amber didn’t bat an eyelid.
“Amber.” Diesel brushed a hand across Amber’s curls. “Would you mind keeping an eye on Hunter while I speak to Liz?”
“Of course not.” Amber held her arms out to Hunter and he immediately went to her. She stood up, propping Hunter on her hip and tickling his chin. “Come on, peanut. Let’s go and build some sandcastles. Build the biggest one for Mommy to see.”
Hunter beamed and laughed as Amber bounced him over to the park. I wanted them to go and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. It was incredibly sweet to see that scene. It was clear that Amber could charm all the boys and she didn’t even have to lift a finger to do it.
“She’s good with him,” I commented.
“She is.” Diesel’s voice was warm as he moved to stand beside me. “Amber’s good with all kids. I have a feeling she came from a big family.”
“More than likely.”
Amber was one of those people who could talk and converse brilliantly without giving away anything about herself unless under torture. I had no idea about any of her past, except she was nineteen and she was running away from something. She was far too young to be selling her body for money. But it wasn’t my life to live.
And we hadn’t come here to talk about Amber, who was now in the sandpit with Hunter, helping him move sand into a pile. I turned to Diesel and folded my arms with a frown.
“Look, Diesel, if Noah’s sent you, I don’t want to discuss anything further.”
Diesel sighed and indicated a nearby bench overlooking the park.
“Sit down, Liz. Please?”
The fact he said please was enough for me to sit down. I had never heard Diesel say please in all the time I had known him. It was something that probably wouldn’t happen again, either.
Diesel sat beside me, leaning his elbows on his knees and scratching his head under his bandanna. He sighed.
“Noah doesn’t know I’m here, Liz.”
“He doesn’t?”
“No. But I do want to let you know why he was at Khloe’s brothel.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Come on, Diesel! I’m not a genius, but you don’t need to be one to know what he was doing there.”
Diesel stared at me. “You think he was there to get his dick wet?”
“Khloe’s a friend of Mason’s, isn’t he? If Noah wasn’t fucking her, he sure looked like he was sampling the stock.”
I felt a knot in my stomach. It was hard to think about Noah with anyone else. I hadn’t thought he would even look at another woman. Clearly, I had underestimated him.
“He wasn’t there to fuck anyone,” Diesel protested. “He was there on an errand for Mason.”
“Bullshit.”
“Seriously, Liz. After the executions, Khloe had to walk a fine line. Mason wanted to make sure that she wasn’t switching sides.”
That did sound plausible. But I was still skeptical. It wasn’t quite plausible. Noah knew how I felt about him conversing with Khloe. Why would he go behind my back like that?
“Why couldn’t Mason go himself? Why make Noah go?”
“Because Cassie would kill Mason if he goes anywhere near Khloe.”
“I don’t blame her.” I jumped to my feet and began to pace. I didn’t want to think about that time. “So, Mason sent Noah instead, when Mason knows I don’t want anything to do with Khloe, physically or emotionally. Glad to know he doesn’t give a shit about me.”
Diesel sighed. He sat forward and rubbed his hands over his face before looking out at Amber. She was helping Hunter push some sand into a pile. Both of them were giggling away, Hunter looking very happy.
“It wasn’t what you thought, Liz. He adores you. Fucking someone else, much less Khloe, would be something he would never do to you.”
“But how can I trust him if he won’t talk to me?” I protested, waving my hands in the air. I knew I was getting worked up, but I couldn’t stop myself enough to calm down. “He’s been getting edgy and snapping at me whenever I ask about things regarding the club. I know he’s looking for the bastard who framed him, but he won’t let me help. He won’t let me in.” I kicked at the bench. “If he can’t trust me and I can’t trust, what’s the point?”
“Liz.” Diesel patted the bench beside him. “Please, just sit down. You’re making me nervous.”
“Making you nervous? That’s a first,” I muttered.
But I sat down beside him, folding my arms. I knew I looked like a petulant child, but I didn’t really care.
Diesel turned to face me, laying a hand on my arm.
“Liz, Noah knows he’s made a mistake. You do know that Noah swallowing his pride is something that very rarely happens.”
That I did know. Noah didn’t like admitting he was wrong. It wasn’t easy. I sighed.
“He’s a gruff bastard, but he is a good man underneath it all. He’s sweet in his own way. I felt like I saw a side of him no one else knew existed.”
“You probably have,” Diesel smiled. “I can tell you this for certain. I’ve known Noah for years and I’ve never seen him go gooey over a woman like he has with you. He certainly didn’t look anywhere else once he saw you.”
“And the same with me.” I gulped. This talk was going to start having me tear up and I didn’t want to cry in front of Diesel or Amber. “But if he can’t trust me and vice versa, we can’t be together.”
“Do
you want to be with him?”
“Of course I do.” Even though it was painful to admit it. “But I’m not doing the on-off relationship with him. That’s not fair on us or Hunter. He deserves more than seeing his parents break up and get back together all the time.”
“It would stop Noah self-destructing.”
I shook my head.
“No, Diesel. When I break, I break for good. I don’t want my heart broken again.”
Diesel sighed and rubbed at his head.
“At least think about it. I’ve got to put up with the idiot.”
I didn’t want to do that. It meant remembering everything Noah and I had been through and would make me realize that I missed him more than I wanted to admit. It would have me pining for him again, and I wasn’t prepared to forgive Noah, not just yet.
The only way I would forgive him for anything was if he came to me and groveled at my feet. Only then would I consider it.
Chapter 40
Noah
I knew Diesel had gone with Amber to pick Liz and Hunter up and take them out. And it was all I could do not to call and see how things were going. I missed Liz. I missed Hunter. And I wanted both of them back.
I had fucked up badly. But I just couldn’t bring myself to go to Liz and explain myself. She wouldn’t let me in, I was sure about that.
Hopefully, Diesel would be able to get her to realize that this had been blown out of proportion. If he could, Liz might be able to back down and we could talk. I had fucked things up, but Liz wasn’t entirely blameless. We needed to sit down and have it all out.
I was going to get Liz back in any way I could. Hunter and Liz came together as a package, I knew that, and I wanted that package.
In the time Diesel was away, I ended up pacing about the bar. It was practically empty, with people either working on their bikes in the garage Mason owned across the street or at their day jobs. Only Felicity, the daughter of member Jayden, was there manning the bar and she kept giving me strange looks. We had known each other since Felicity was a baby and I guessed she hadn’t seen me this agitated.
After what felt like forever, Diesel finally came back, walking into the annex with a tired look in his eyes. He had his arm around young Amber, one of Khloe’s girls, and it looked like he had taken a moment of comfort. Amber was tiny compared to the big man, but she managed to keep Diesel upright, holding him close and looking up at him with an adoration Diesel seemed to completely miss.
I hurried over to them.
“Is she okay?”
Diesel scowled.
“What do you think?”
Then I realized what I’d said and winced.
“Ask a stupid question, eh?”
Diesel growled. He kissed Amber’s head.
“Go and help Felicity out, honey. I need a word with Noah and I think I’ll blow your eardrums out.”
“Okay.”
Amber looked between them nervously but detached herself from Diesel and went behind the bar, taking Felicity with her into the back. Then Diesel swung around on me, his eyes suddenly blazing.
“That was more than a stupid question, you fucking idiot,” he growled. “You fucked things up big-time with Liz. You’ll be lucky if you get her back. She’s trying her best, but it’s not easy on her.”
“You think it’s easy on me?” I snapped.
“I’m not feeling sorry for you. I feel sorry for her.” Diesel squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. “Do you know that scumbag Nate was in the house when I arrived? That her mother was urging Liz to go on a date with the bastard?”
I felt like Diesel had physically punched me.
“She was what? And Liz didn’t agree to that, did she?”
“From what I heard when I arrived, she was trying to get them all to leave her house. She was angry as hell, Noah.”
I nodded grimly.
“Good. At least she has standards.”
“Coming from the man she kicked to the curb last night.”
I growled and kicked a chair across the room. It hit the wall and fell over.
“It’s not even been twenty-four hours and I miss her. Badly.” I said. “Things were really good between us before I went inside. And now…” I ran my hands through my hair, feeling the sweat drip through my fingers. “It’s all up in the air and I don’t know what’s going on now.”
“You’ve been apart for two years, Noah. Things change.”
“I know that much. Two’ll become three, for fuck’s sake.” I swallowed hard. “I miss Liz. I miss Hunter. I want them back in my life.”
Diesel shook his head, folding his bulky arms.
“You do know that the only way that’s going to happen is if you grovel.”
“I know,” I grumbled. “And I’m not looking forward to that.”
“What’s more important? Your pride or your love for Liz?”
I didn’t even have to think about it.
“Liz.”
“There’s your answer.” Diesel moved towards the bar. “But don’t leave it too long. You know Liz can hold a grudge for a while.”
“She’ll probably slam the door in my face.”
“And if you can get the apology out before she does that, you’ll be halfway there.”
He had a point. And I wanted to make that point. I needed to do as Diesel said and swallow my pride. It wasn’t going to work, otherwise. Relationships were about compromise and I needed to compromise at my end as well.
I hurried towards the door. I was going to do that compromising now.
“Cover for me, will you?”
“Always.”
Chapter 41
Liz
I was grateful for Amber and Diesel. Between the three of us, we managed to wear Hunter out enough that he was falling asleep in my arms as we went back to the car. Amber had headed off to her own car, giving Diesel a kiss that made me blush. Whether Diesel would admit it or not, the girl was smitten with him and he was as gone with her.
His pride wouldn’t let him admit to it, though. Diesel wasn’t someone who would be tied down to one person.
We drove home and I was hoping all the way that Gloria, Amy and Nate would be gone by the time we got back. But my hopes were dashed when I turned into the street and I saw all their cars still outside.
Diesel had wanted to go in there and frog-march them out, but I didn’t want the hassle. I was on good terms with all my neighbors and I didn’t want any of them calling the police on us. I managed to persuade Diesel to leave, carrying my little boy into the house. He barely stirred as I managed to get in and went to Hunter’s room, not even giving the three bastards a look.
Hunter went to sleep soon. He stirred a little but then settled back down, cuddling one of his favorite toys. I couldn’t help but stare at him, trying not to cry. Hunter was my life. He was one of the good things in my life. And I wouldn’t change him. My mother and sister would want Noah wiped out of the picture completely, but I wasn’t about to bow down to them. Even if I never saw Noah again, I would still see him in Hunter. They were the spitting image of each other.
Gloria could try and get Hunter away from me, but Hunter would always be Noah’s son. She couldn’t change that. I would not allow anyone to force my son to call someone else Daddy.
Closing the door, quietly behind me, I stormed into the living room. Nate was sitting on the couch beside Gloria with Amy across the room curled up in my favorite chair. All of them had mugs of coffee. I couldn’t believe the gall they had.
“I thought I told all of you to fuck off out of my house,” I growled.
Gloria raised her eyebrows at me, taking a sip of her coffee. She looked like she was holding court in my house, and I hated that.
“We’re not leaving, Liz, until we’ve spoken about how you’ve been treating us.”
I didn’t think she could get any worse. My relationship with my mother had always been strained, but this was something else. It was going to snap, I was sure of it.
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It had probably snapped already, and I hadn’t noticed.
“How I’ve been treating you?” I did my best to keep my voice level, aware that Hunter would wake up at the slightest noise. “How do you think about the way you’ve been treating me? You treat me like a second-class citizen, Mom, and I’m meant to be your daughter!”