“See? Lock can love some people.”
Thor nodded. “That doesn’t mean he can admit it’s actually love. Look, perhaps if you can just hold off on mating until you get to Fifi. Just so nothing gets rushed.”
“I already told him I wanted to wait until I met my brother to choose a mate.”
“Good,” Thor said, looking relieved. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I would have been hurt already if Lock wasn’t there for me,” Tasha said quietly. “Countless times.”
Thor sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, if you could help my brother, I would be forever grateful to you. But you shouldn’t do it if it means pushing your own happiness aside.”
“I understand. I don’t know what I’ll do yet, but I appreciate you caring about the both of us.”
Thor looked rumpled by her compliment and waved a hand, brushing it aside. “It’s nothing. Anyway, we should probably get back to him.” He crossed the room and opened the door for her. “You two are still on a mission, and I don’t want him to be too drunk tomorrow to help.”
“Oh, right,” Tasha said. Being there in the beautiful mountains, it was easy to forget all the things they still needed to do. “Our mission.”
Thor nodded. “Lacey is going to check on a few places where Fifi might be, so you should get Lock back to bed for some rest.”
Tasha tried not to flush as they walked back to the kitchen. “Right, bed. Rest.”
Thor cocked his head. “I assumed you two would share a bed, given his scent on you.”
She dipped her head, hoping to hide her bright-red blush. “Oh God, it’s going to take a long time to get used to that. People smelling things.”
“Nah,” Thor said. “It’ll feel normal soon enough. Now come on. Let’s go cut him off the wine. He needs to get to bed.”
At least they could agree on that.
“Okay, big guy,” Tasha said, keeping Lock’s heavy arm around her shoulder as she walked him down the hall to the bedroom they would share.
He’d already brought their stuff in earlier when they’d showered, so it wasn’t hard to feel at home.
“Drunk,” Lock slurred, leaning against her. “I never get drunk. What’s wrong with me?”
She gently set him down on the foot of the bed, and he flopped back onto it with a heavy sigh.
“Oh God, that feels good,” he said, scooting back so he was fully on the covers.
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” she said, smiling as she came over to pull his shoes off, wincing at the thought of them being on the bed.
He stared at her blankly, his earring twinkling in the lamplight, his red hair slightly wavy from the shower. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”
She laughed. “I think you’ve told me.”
He shook his head. “Not enough.” Unexpectedly, he pulled her onto the bed with him, against his chest and between his long legs. “I know I’m a jerk. I probably can’t do anything like you deserve. But God, Tasha, I want you. Can’t I just have you for my own?”
She laughed, pushing away from him gently. “You’re too drunk for this.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, pulling her back so he could nuzzle in her hair. “I meant like… like Thor and Lacey. Why can’t I be like them?”
She sighed and let him pull her in against his chest, sitting practically in his lap as he leaned back against the headboard. “What do you mean?”
“I just… All lovey-dovey, with their perfect life and their perfect home…”
“You can be.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m not that person. I don’t know if I ever was or it was beaten out of me. But I do know that for as long as I can remember, my heart has been blackened beyond saving.” He put his hands over his face.
Tasha turned in his lap to face him, pulling his hands away so she could look into his eyes.
He stared up at her drunkenly, but there was pain in his amber gaze. “I’m not good enough for you, Tasha, but I want you so badly. I just can’t promise to be able to give you what you want.”
Tasha turned in his lap to face him, pulling his hands away so she could look into his eyes. “I don’t know what I want. But I do want you to stop seeing yourself as a monster.”
“But, Tasha,” he said quietly, his voice unlike she’d ever heard it. “What if I am?”
She stroked a hand through his hair. “Then you wouldn’t have helped me, and you would have mated me the first chance you got.”
He lowered his head against her, his body sagging in relief. “Thank you. I know I’m drunk, but you’ve really helped.”
“I’m glad.”
He slumped down on the headboard until he was lying on the bed once again. Then he ran a hand through his hair, tousling it. “So what did you talk about with Thor?”
She pursed her lips. “Lacey is going to check some places for Fifi. So we should know tomorrow morning.”
Lock shook his head. “That’s not all. He would have said it in front of me if that was the case.”
“He just wanted me to be careful with you. Careful not to hurt you too. He’s your brother. He cares about you.”
“Hmph,” Lock said, rolling over onto his side. “Bet you he was trying to tell you all the shit I’ve done.”
“If he had, I wouldn’t have let him,” Tasha said. “I want you to tell me on your own.”
Lock was quiet then, and she could see his torso rising and falling from behind. Then he rolled back over to face her. “You’re amazing, you know that? I never thought I would meet anyone like you.”
“You’re amazing too,” she said, reaching over to stroke his face, loving the feel of his skin even when he was a bit overheated from alcohol.
He closed his eyes, enjoying her touch, reminding her of a dog being petted. “That feels so good. I just want to do things to you and forget all of this. Just let the day disappear and sink into your arms.”
A thrill shot up her spine, and she knew she wanted the same from him. Despite everything else, it just felt right.
At least in the bedroom, things were open and honest. Their feelings were clear.
Everything else was so damn complicated.
“As long as you feel good enough,” she said. “With everything you’ve drunk.”
“I’m drunk on you,” he said, pulling her in to spoon with her back to his chest, wrapping his hands around her possessively.
“No, you’re drunk on wine,” she said playfully, trying to move his hand as it squeezed her waist. “And I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“As if you could,” he murmured, kissing the base of her neck and sending a shiver through her. “But no, I’m sobering quickly. As a wolf, being drunk never lasts long.”
“That’s good,” she said. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure I want you,” he murmured, leaning forward and tilting her head back so his lips were just over hers.
“I’m sure I want you too,” she said, teasing her lips against his until he crashed down on her in a kiss.
As his embrace seared her down to her soul, Tasha thought of nothing but how good it felt to touch him. How good it felt to be together.
As he got up to turn off the light and they quickly shed their clothing, she vowed that she wouldn’t regret a single moment with him.
Then she pulled him down on top of her in the dark.
Chapter 15
The next day, Lock showered with Tasha, wanting the feel of her curvy body against his own.
After lovemaking last night, everything felt like it was back to normal.
Well, as normal as things could be when an alpha male and female were on the run, hunting for a Tribunal assassin.
Lock knew it was dangerous, letting himself enjoy her body as much as he did.
Every time he touched one of her curves, he ached to own it, to know she was his and his alone.
But he managed to hold back from claiming her because h
e simply wanted it to happen on her terms.
He pushed away any worries he had that he might not be the one she chose and glanced over at her as she got dressed in the morning light.
Her white-blond hair was slightly curled from the shower, draping around her face, which was fresh and beautiful with absolutely no makeup on. Then again, she was beautiful any way he saw her.
The blue and pink streaks in her hair were fading slightly, looking like pretty pastels.
Despite being only dressed in a towel, Lock couldn’t resist going over and pulling her in for a hug, holding her and scenting her hair.
“Amazing,” he said. “How can anyone look so beautiful in the morning?”
“Back to being a charmer, I see,” she said, giggling as she dodged away from him and grabbed a towel to rub over her hair. “Get dressed before I’m tempted to pull that towel off.”
“Hm,” he said, pretending to consider it. “I might just be okay with that, and—”
A knock on the door interrupted them, and Lock quickly pulled on a pair of jeans to open the door.
When he did, he saw Lacey there, and when she took in his state of undress, her brows lowered in consternation.
“Thor… Your brother is answering the door naked!”
Lock ran back into the room, rummaging for a shirt as he heard his twin’s thundering footsteps approach. “Hey,” he said, putting his hands up. “I was just trying to get to the door in time.”
Lock heard Tasha chuckle behind him.
“Well, glad you decided to put on a shirt. Lacey doesn’t want to see that. No one wants to see that.” Thor frowned, then nodded to Tasha. “Well, I guess one person. Sorry about that, Tash.”
“Not a problem,” Tasha said sweetly, following him out the door so they could all go into the kitchen. “So what’s the news?”
Lacey and Thor sat down at the table, where a plate of pancakes was stacked high and syrup and toppings were spread all over.
“Are you trying to kill us?” Tasha groaned.
“No,” Thor said. “Just trying to make sure you have lots of strength to travel. Since you’re going to see Rowan.”
“What?” Lock’s head shot up. He was already chewing on a pancake. “Why the hell would we do that?”
“Did you ever go tell him about his family?” Thor asked. “You know, after you got the info from the Tribunal?”
Lock shook his head. “Even after I saved Lindon’s life, they weren’t interested in talking to me. Not after what happened with Misty.”
“What happened with Misty?” Tasha asked, looking around the table.
“She, uh…” Thor looked at Lacey, who shook her head, mouth tight. “Nothing.”
Lock looked down at his pancakes, chewing slowly. “It’s okay. I guess if we’re going to Rowan’s, she’s going to know soon.”
“No rush,” Lacey said. “Let’s not ruin breakfast. Anyway, there’s a time to explain it, and that time isn’t now.”
“What can Rowan do for us?” Lock asked bitterly. “Especially if he’s just going to throw me off his porch.”
“I talked to him,” Lacey said. “Told him the situation. He knows you’ve changed. Knows you never would have done… what you threatened.”
Tasha looked over, seeming a bit lost, and Lock felt guilt burning the pit of his stomach like too much hot sauce.
Misty was part of a chapter of his life he didn’t want to think about. It had been a pivotal moment in turning his life around, and he’d done everything he could to make up for it. But it still stung as a reminder of how black his heart could be.
“Anyway,” Lock said. “Why do we need to see him?”
“He has info on Fifi,” Thor said. “He wouldn’t say what.”
Lock sighed. “Does he know we have his sister with us?”
“I believe so,” Thor said. “Apparently, Rowan was already aware of the situation. His address should be one of those on the letter Fifi sent to Tasha.”
Tasha shook her head. “I shouldn’t have lost that letter.”
Lock felt a rock in his stomach at the thought that he’d also hidden the letter from her. It mixed badly with the burning feeling of his other guilt. “Yeah.”
“Well, you try holding on to something for that long,” Tasha said. “It’s somewhere. But anyway, they know about me. And they have news!”
“Brace yourself,” Lacey said. “It might not be good news. I haven’t seen him in a while, and while I don’t want to think the worst…” She trailed off, and there was silence at the table.
“He’s still alive. He’s got to be,” Tasha said quietly.
Lock felt a chunk of ice added to the rock and burning in his stomach as he realized he had yet to tell Tasha that he’d seen Fifi the night she’d been knocked out.
By Fifi.
But what could he even say right now? At the time, it hadn’t seemed prudent to tell her, since Fifi’s visit had nothing to do with her and she hadn’t seen him anyway.
But still.
After all of her openness with him, her compassion, her belief in him, it sucked to have secrets, even if he reminded himself she hadn’t always been so accepting.
What if she hadn’t believed him? What if she’d tried to find Fifi on her own with the letter? Something might have happened to her, and Lock couldn’t stand that.
Hopefully, when she found out everything he was hiding, she would understand.
“You okay over there?” Thor asked as Lock stabbed into a pancake. “You look like you don’t feel well or something.”
“Probably just thinking about getting his face punched in by Rowan,” Lacey said with a smirk.
Tasha looked up with a frown. “I don’t want anything to happen to Lock. Maybe I should go on my own.”
“Absolutely not,” Lock said, slamming his fork down. “I’m coming.”
Tasha didn’t look certain. “I mean, you know these people. I’ll be safe.”
Lock shook his head, knowing he looked half crazy. But whatever he and Tasha were, he couldn’t bear the thought of not being by her side. He’d been there for her entire time exploring all of this, and he would be there every step of the way.
Even if he had to get his face beat in.
Heck, that might even be refreshing compared to the guilt hammering away at him. A few punches might alleviate that a bit.
“I don’t think you should go alone anyway,” Thor said. “You could be attacked on the way. It’s better with Lock there to stifle your hormones.”
“Stifle?” Tasha said with a laugh. “More like intensify.”
Lacey chuckled, and Thor blushed bright red. “What I meant was that his scent will cover some of yours. Not that… Anyway…” He looked away, and his wife came over to tease him adorably, trying to turn his face down to hers for a kiss.
Lock turned away from the disgusting display to look at Tasha but noticed with dismay that she was watching them with a glazed-over smile on her face.
Was that what she wanted if they were to mate?
He turned back to watch his brother and Lacey, trying to picture himself doing mushy things like that.
Then he stood, making the table rattle. “Well, if we’re going to Rowan’s, that’s a good few hours’ drive. I’m going to go get packing so we can get there before dark.”
Tasha looked up in confusion. “Do all wolves live near each other?”
“No,” Thor said. “But we all came to the alpha challenge back in the day because we were already regional neighbors. That’s why we all live close by.”
“Oh, that makes sense,” Tasha said, taking a bite of her pancake.
“You finish up here,” Lock said. “I’m going to start getting ready.” He walked over to her chair and couldn’t resist bending down to place a quick kiss on her forehead, ignoring the shocked gasps from onlookers as he exited the room.
Tasha’s pleased blush made it all worth it.
Tasha slept most of the way to Rowan’s,
mostly because she’d barely slept the night before and also because she was tired from saying good-bye to her new friends.
Her nervousness over meeting new wolves, intimidating ones, didn’t help either.
When she was finally ready to sit up and join the world of the waking, she looked around to see that it was already getting dark.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, stretching and letting out a yawn. “Do you want me to take a turn?”
“Nah,” Lock said, shaking his head at her. “I’m a control freak. You know that.”
She flushed, thinking of all the ways she benefitted from that in the bedroom. “Yeah. I know.”
He gave her a smirk, probably scenting her arousal, and then his expression sobered again. “I want to warn you. Rowan’s family is—”
“Difficult?”
“Not fond of me,” he said. “If they want me to stay out in the car even, I will. Though, of course I’d miss spending the night with you.”
Tasha blinked. After all the hot interludes, she wasn’t sure she could go a night without access to his body. Which was foolish, she knew, since neither of them knew where this was headed.
All she knew was that she couldn’t resist him, and the fact that her wolf seemed to want him intensely made her a little less worried about that.
She leaned against the window, enjoying the cool glass against her face. “I hope they let us stay together. I mean, they get that this is about Fifi, right? Not about you.”
“Yes,” Lock said. “But I, um… sort of almost helped someone kidnap one of Rowan’s daughters-in-law.”
Tasha felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on her. “You what?” She straightened up in her seat because, of everything people had warned her about, this was the last thing she’d expected.
Lock might be a bit of a player, but she’d never seen him treat any woman with anything but respect, at least as far as doing anything unwanted.
His dark-red hair shone even in the fading evening light, and the earring in his left ear twinkled. His profile looked hard. “I didn’t go through with it. I couldn’t. But I did threaten her somewhat, and her family has a right to hate me for that.”
Tasha was quiet for a moment. “Why did you do it?”
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