Satisfaction flashed in his eyes. “I hope not.”
That seemed an odd thing to say, but she didn’t read too much into it. She loved him. He loved her. They would go together into the bright pleasure that was coming ever closer, and then they would start planning the rest of their lives.
“Tasha, I love you,” he said as he pumped into her, the building sensation so strong she worried she would forget how to breathe. “I know I can’t stop saying it, but it’s true. And I want you to hear it as much as you can.”
“Say it as much as you want,” she said breathlessly. “And know that I love you too.” She bit her lip, feeling the edge slipping ever closer. “I’m gonna—”
“Me too,” he said quickly, plunging deep inside her so they were all the way hip to hip.
That was enough for her, and she crashed over the edge, feeling his body jerk as he came with her.
She’d had orgasms before, but this was spiritual. This was the man she was meant to have this with, and she could feel her soul reaching out to connect with his.
As he spurted warmth deep inside her, her whole body clenched with pleasurable waves, and above all of it, they called each other’s names and held each other tightly as if it were the only way to survive.
When the pleasure finally abated, Tasha’s heart was pounding in her ears and she could barely see straight.
Then again, he had that effect on her sometimes.
She cupped his face and sighed, feeling so much love she could barely stand it.
He leaned forward, trembling slightly as he kissed her lips. “I love you, Tasha. Never forget that.”
She slumped back against the pillows, nearly out of strength.
Lock pulled out of her, grabbed a towel, helped her clean up, and then got back into bed with her.
He always made her feel so taken care of.
It hadn’t been an easy start for them, so she was glad things had finally worked out.
She didn’t feel at peace with everything, but she knew with Lock on her side, she would have the best shot.
She was still lying there, her body humming with the aftereffects of pleasure, when Lock sat up in bed and looked down at her with a soft expression she didn’t really understand.
She sat up, feeling off-kilter. “You look sad. Is something wrong? I thought this was what you wanted.”
He brushed her hair back tenderly. “It’s everything I’ve wanted. More than I deserve.”
“No,” she said, trapping his hand and leaning in. “It’s exactly what you deserve. You’re a good person.”
“I hope so,” Lock said. “Because I’ve never wanted to be selfish more than right now.”
“What do you mean?”
He grabbed her hand and lowered it between them. “Listen. We decided to be honest. And I suppose I should have been before we did that, but I wanted you to be safe while I was gone.”
Her heart felt as though it had been stopped at an unexpected traffic light. “What?”
“You wanted me. You said you didn’t want any other. Now no males should bother you. At least until you’re ready to move on.”
“What do you mean move on?”
“I promised you Fifi would be safe. There’s only one way to do that. A trade.”
Her eyes widened. No. No, no, no. “Lock, you can’t.”
He put a finger gently to her lips, then ran it over her lower lip softly. “God, I want to memorize you. But this is my fault. You should have had your brother, if not for me. And you’ll be too sad without him.”
“I’ll be sad without you. I don’t want to be without you—”
“I love you, Tasha,” Lock said. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone. Which is why I have to do this for you. I’m still not good enough. I never would have been. But I’m worse if you hurt because of me. If Fifi dies because of me. You don’t know how much the last few days have meant to me. But I hope you do move on. I hope you do find something good. Because I have to make things right.”
Tasha shook her head fiercely. “You won’t leave. I won’t let you.”
“Do you want to see your brother?”
She hesitated, her heart frozen in horror at the thought that she had to choose. “I can’t… I don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I love you,” Lock said. “That’s what I’m saying. And because I love you, I need to do something hard.”
“No,” she said, sobbing and trying to summon her sleeping powers. “No. You’re being crazy. You’re not going anywhere.”
“I think we were meant to meet,” Lock said calmly. “I think I was meant to bring you safely into this world, and you were meant to show me I wasn’t broken after all. You’ll be safe, princess, until you’re ready to move on.”
“I’m not going to move on. I want my mate and my brother.”
“I know,” Lock said quietly. “I wish I could give you both.”
“Stop, we need to think about this,” she said, grabbing his shoulders. “Just wait a little bit.”
“I can’t,” Lock said. “I need to go as soon as possible. He should be fine, but I don’t want to wait.” He stroked her face. “I shouldn’t have waited this long, but I couldn’t help it. You were just too beautiful not to taste.”
She blushed, even despite the situation. “Don’t just taste me. Have me every day.”
“Maybe I will,” Lock said. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll save him and go free.”
“Don’t lie to me,” she said softly.
He stared into her eyes. “Okay.”
She felt something overtaking her and smelled lavender in the air. She smiled triumphantly. She’d be able to stop him. She’d—
She suddenly felt drowsy.
Lock smiled at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, princess. Can’t let you do that this time.”
She tried to keep her eyes open as long as possible, wanting to memorize him, but her power coming back on her was too strong.
He was able to reflect things, she realized. That was his power.
She wanted to scream with the irony of it as everything went dark.
Chapter 18
As Lock sat in a jail cell across from a very angry Fifi, he realized there were a few things he could have done differently.
He could have not mated Tasha before he left to sacrifice himself for her brother.
He could have thought about the fact that Fifi might not want to see him and definitely would hate the idea of him being involved with his sister.
He could have tried to get thrown in a different cell so the large, blond male who was cracking his knuckles and darkly glaring at him wouldn’t have had access.
But it was too late now.
Fifi’s gray-purple eyes were fixed on him, burning with hatred and frustration.
“So you saw my sister,” Fifi said. “The night I dropped her off with you.”
Lock nodded.
“And you saw my letter saying she was not supposed to look for me.”
Lock nodded again, feeling tense.
“And then you stupidly came to find me, even though I made exactly this decision to give you a chance to continue your work, knowing you would also be protecting my sister?”
“Yes.” Lock started the nod but then stopped. “Wait, what?”
Fifi sighed as he leaned back against the wall, and Lock saw dark circles around his eyelids. “I was so shocked that night when I saw her outside your club. She doesn’t live in that state. Seeing her there, scenting her as I was already coming to see you, it seemed like fate.”
“I don’t follow,” Lock said warily.
Fifi looked around them, making sure the other shifters were asleep and not listening. He was currently wearing a collar that ensured he wouldn’t be able to use his power and escape. “I don’t like you that much, Lock. I don’t like a lot of people. I have one soft spot, and that’s Tasha. Well, maybe Lacey as well. But I did know you wouldn’t hurt her. And, well, given your work helping trap
ped alpha females, I thought you would know how to get her somewhere safe.”
“And I did,” Lock said proudly. “She’s with Rowan.”
Fifi sighed. “But you mated her. You weren’t supposed to do that. And then you left her. How do you think that feels?”
Lock sat back, thinking about it. “Probably a relief. You should have seen how she cried over you. It was like you were dying.”
“I am going to die,” Fifi said certainly, folding his arms tightly over his powerful chest. “Because now that you’re her mate, there’s no way I can leave you here. You can’t sacrifice yourself for me. It would hurt her even more.”
“She’ll figure out soon enough that I wasn’t good enough for her. I was meant to help her and love her and then let her go on to better things.” He glared at Fifi. “Even you don’t think I’m good enough for her. Admit it.”
Fifi cocked his head. “It doesn’t really matter what I think. It is what she wants. And she wanted you enough to mate you.”
“She was overwhelmed.”
“Then you shouldn’t have let her do it,” Fifi snapped. “But I think you know she did want it and you’re too much of a gutless coward to realize the right thing to do was just stay by her side and help her with her pain, rather than coming here for me.”
Lock shook his head. “I made her a promise that you two would finally meet. I’m going to see that happen.”
“And how do you plan to do that?” Fifi asked sardonically. “Since you’re now in jail too.”
Lock moved over to sit close to Fifi on his side of the cell.
“Ooh, cozy,” Fifi said.
Ignoring his teasing, Lock leaned forward, speaking in hushed tones. “I wasn’t just stealing back alpha females when I broke into Tribunal compounds. I have a few other things as well.” He looked around him once more to be safe, then pulled a small vial out of his pocket. “If you take this, it’ll nullify the effects of the collar. You’ll be able to get it off and use your powers.”
“And how will it help me when I’m in a cell?” Fifi asked.
“You might have to wait until the guards open your cell, but then you could put them to sleep and get out of here.”
Fifi frowned. “If you think the guards don’t have the ability to suppress my power even when I don’t have a collar, you’re crazy. The second they start to feel drowsy, the head guard will focus on me and nullify my alpha power like it’s nothing.”
“Damn,” Lock said. “Well, then I’ll just have to create a distraction while you make a break for it. I don’t mind doing it the old-fashioned way.”
Fifi snorted, his pretty features relaxing slightly as he looked over at Lock. “I suppose I should be flattered that you came to save me. Maybe I’m the only guy you’ll save.”
“Yeah, well, don’t get any ideas about it,” Lock said nervously. “I’m a taken wolf.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Fifi said. “You’re with Tasha.” He looked Lock over slowly. “Beautiful, though. I can understand her taste, as long as she isn’t concerned with your personality.”
Lock snorted at that. There had always been an easy sort of chemistry with Fifi, sparking anger one moment and then laughter the next. For some reason, they understood each other. “Thanks. Can I take that as approval of her being my mate?”
Fifi lifted his nose. “I don’t think so.” He softened, leaning forward and rubbing his hands together. “I’ve only seen her from a distance when I could check on her because I was on a mission in the area. What’s she like?”
Lock laughed. “It’s a bit odd to have this conversation when she’s always the one asking about you… but she’s awesome.”
Fifi straightened, looking hopeful. “She asked about me?”
“Yes,” Lock replied. “She’s crazy about you, even if all she has is letters. How does she not know what she is, though? Lacey and I were wondering about that.”
Fifi sighed. “I simply slipped something into the perfume. It was synthesized from the blood of an alpha who has the ability to make shifters so unable to shift that they think they’re humans. It suppresses all alpha powers as well. It’s an inhalant.” Fifi rubbed his hands over his head. “I know it’s super controlling, but the life she would have had here…”
Lock nodded. “You want to protect her from it. Well, you should be happy to know that she’s a very normal, well-adjusted person compared to you or me. She’s had a fun time being a hairdresser, has friends who love her, and is pretty much a joy to anyone she meets.”
Fifi sighed. “I want to meet her. I wish I could.”
“You will,” Lock said. “I promised her you would.”
Fifi narrowed his eyes, his lashes as long as any female’s. “I can’t rob my sister of her mate. Either we both get out, or neither of us does.”
“I’m a logical wolf,” Lock said. “And by my calculations, both of us getting out is unlikely. One of us will have to live to take care of Tasha. And as much as I want that to be me, she’ll be better off with a great big brother and a mate without a soiled history.”
“You aren’t soiled, for God’s sake,” Fifi said. “Listen, I like you better than the wolves out there who have never done anything bad but don’t care about anyone but their tiny pack and go along like the world is just fine. At least you’re fighting.”
“Much good that has done,” Lock said bitterly. “I can keep rescuing, but they’ll keep capturing. They’re working with other species. There are labs—”
“It’s endless,” Fifi said. “But all we can do is our best. So right now, let’s talk plans and figure out who’s going to be with Tasha so we’re ready when the guards come.”
“Fine by me,” Lock said.
It was better than thinking of Tasha’s sad, beautiful eyes and knowing he might never see her again.
Tasha stormed down the stairs of Rowan’s mansion, furious that Lock had dared reflect her power back on her.
She’d checked the clock the moment she regained consciousness and had been relieved that she’d only lost a couple hours. Maybe since it was her power, she had some resistance to it.
She heard activity downstairs and realized everyone was in the kitchen. Her stomach growled, and she remembered that even though they’d stopped to get food during the trip, she was starving.
And she would need all her strength if she was going to go after Lock.
Rowan greeted her with a raised hand as she walked into the kitchen where Lindon and Misty were sharing a plate of something at the counter.
“He’s gone,” Tasha croaked out. “Lock’s gone. I think he went after Fifi.”
Rowan’s face fell. “He what?”
“He told me he was going to, but when I tried to stop him, he reflected my power back at me and was just gone.” She shook her head. “I just woke up.”
“Come eat something. You’re shaking,” Misty said, standing up to gently guide Tasha to a table.
Tasha smiled at the other woman because she could tell that in other circumstances, she would love to get to know her, but right now, Lock was all she could think about.
Misty grabbed a plate, put a sandwich on it, and set it in front of Tasha. “You can’t argue with Lindon and Rowan if you don’t have any energy.”
Tasha laughed, picking up the sandwich. “You’re right.” Between bites, she told the others what her note said and how Lock had said he was going to do a trade.
As she sipped a glass of orange juice, she watched Lindon and Rowan trade uncertain glances.
“What is it? Don’t we have to leave right now?”
“You don’t understand,” Lindon said, and Tasha tried not to be distracted by the light-gold color of his eyes. “Where Lock just went… there’s no way out. No way in except for getting arrested, so I’m guessing he just turned himself in.”
“Then he’ll probably use some kind of distraction and try to get Fifi out,” Rowan said, putting his face in his hands. “I should have known. He was a
cting odd, and I guessed that he was considering something like it. He was so distraught by Tasha’s pain.”
Guilt moved through Tasha, making it hard to swallow, and she set her cup down. “So it’s my fault.”
“No,” Rowan said quickly. “Not at all. It’s just that if Lock cared enough to mate you, it means your pain is viscerally painful to him. You have every right to be upset over your brother. And your mate should have gotten your assent for his next move.”
“That’s Lock,” Misty said softly. “Always doing what he thinks is good for others while leaving them out of the loop. Even with me, he wouldn’t have been in trouble, wouldn’t have had to resort to desperate measures, if he had just talked to someone about what was going on.”
“My guess is he feels like a pile of shit and thinks Tasha deserves better,” Lindon said bitterly. “And he might be right.”
“How could you say that?” Misty sent him a stern glare, gesturing to Tasha, and Lindon had the good sense to look abashed.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “But you have to admit Lock is a wild card. He has done a lot of shit, and even if he’s changed, it might be as hard for him to like himself as it is for me to like him.”
“Good point,” Rowan said. “And hopefully, once we get him back, the two of you can be less judgmental.”
Tasha sat up. “You think we can get him back?”
Rowan looked like he was choosing his words carefully. “I think there is a chance. We need to go tomorrow morning to talk to the Tribunal. I don’t call in many favors. Maybe they would listen to me on this one. But you have to understand they may not release Fifi. Lock’s just a rogue. Fifi is dangerous to them because he knows all their secrets.”
Tasha’s heart sank. “No. I need to save both of them. I need to be with them both.”
The kitchen was quiet, and then Rowan let out a sigh. “The Tribunal has decimated our family. They don’t know we know about it, but we do. They don’t care about splitting up people. They don’t care about killing indiscriminately. All they care about is getting their way. Tomorrow is our only shot, and we will be risking a lot just going to them.”
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