“I was going to see if you wanted to go for a walk and talk?”
God, he really is sweet. He’s not trying to get in my pants or staring at me with sinful intentions the way Jace does. Not that I mind the looks Jace normally gives me. They send shivers up my spine.
Lennon is different, though. The looks he gives me are pure and sincere, and he wants more than I can give him because he is the one person that’s in this for love and nothing less.
“Honestly,” I start, not sure how to let him down easy, so I go for the truth instead of making up an excuse. It feels like he deserves that at least. “I’m tired. My feet hurt from walking all day. All I really want to do is relax with a cup of coffee and a book.”
“Would you like some company?” he asks.
I expect him to raise an eyebrow at me or wink. Give me a sign that he’s offering more than his words. More than company in the literal sense. He doesn’t, and that’s the only reason I invite him in. The only reason I offer him coffee as he browses the bookshelves.
“Your villas are a lot nicer than ours,” he notes as he pulls a book from the shelf, flipping it over to read the back. “We don’t have our very own libraries.”
After I carefully hand him his coffee, he takes a seat in the chair while I snuggle back into my spot on the sofa. “It’s a lot nicer than I thought it would be. I was expecting a one-room apartment with mirrors on the ceilings and spotlights in every corner.”
The laugh that booms from Lennon’s chest is infectious. Before long, we’re both laughing hysterically as we share what we thought this place would be like. His vision was a little tamer than mine. I mean, I figured instead of a fitness center there would be a sex room, complete with whips and chains. You know, a little BDSM for the camera.
“If that was the case, I would have walked away long ago,” he says, standing and moving to the kitchen, rinsing out his mug. I watch as he looks at the single picture I put on the fridge, before turning around, a huge smile on his face.
“I see you got my flowers,” he notes, nodding in the direction of the bouquet that was left on my porch yesterday.
“Yes,” I say, attempting to hide my surprise. “They’re beautiful.”
“Just like you,” he whispers, his eyes never leaving mine.
Lennon leaves without another word but I have a feeling that’s not the last I’m going to hear from him. He made his play known. He likes me. I had a feeling, but now it’s confirmed.
Between Lennon and Jace, my hands are going to be full. The rest of the guys are nice, but I’m not interested, and I don’t juggle well. Not in life and not men.
I’m going to have to decide sooner rather than later who I’m going to set my sights on because if I want to win the game, I can’t have both of them.
Do I want lust? Have Jace until he gets bored and moves on like Wren did?
Or do I want to risk it all on love? Let Lennon in and see what happens?
I’m so screwed right now.
Naomi is going to get a kick out of this when I tell her. Mainly because I’m not laughing right now. It’s day four, and I’m already invested in the game. A game I was only playing for the money. I swore up and down that nothing was going to come of this, that I wouldn’t let fake TV influence me, and yet here I am.
Flipping a coin.
Vying for two guys.
Ready to do whatever it takes to win all while hoping I don’t lose a piece of myself in the process.
It’s not the money or the show influencing me . . . it’s the guys. The way they look at me, as if I’m the most precious woman on Earth. Like they’ve already won because we’ve spent a few days together. And as beautiful of a sentiment as that is, it’s not enough for me to risk it all. They’re going to have to work for it.
Game on.
Chapter Five
Day 5
My head is pounding. Even the soft swish of the ceiling fan above me cooling my heated skin is too much right now.
You would think I was dehydrated. Nope, I drank plenty of water.
Maybe it was the sun, the heat on my back in the open field. Not a chance. The breeze felt amazing as it brushed across the nape of my neck, whipping my ponytail around my face.
What could be the cause of the massive headache attempting to slowly kill me right now?
Oh yeah . . . shouting. Yelling. Arguing. Bitching.
Pick one and you’d be correct.
I wanted to shove my fist down everyone’s throat this afternoon. Well, almost everyone.
Drake bitched the entire time. From the moment we left the stables until we returned. His ass hurt. It was hot out. We were riding too fast, too slow. He wanted a break.
I’ve never heard a man bitch so much in my entire life.
Which was fuel to the fire for the rest of them. Teegan and Courtney joined in his bitchfest. Callen was bitching about them bitching. It was a living nightmare.
Then there was Kyra who looked like she was going to cry at any minute. I get it, she’s scared of horses. I wouldn’t have been excited about today either if I were her, but that meant she kept falling behind, her horse not keeping pace with the rest of us because she wasn’t doing anything except holding on to the reins and staring straight ahead, praying she wasn’t going to die.
I tried to keep her calm and by my side, falling behind myself while the two I wanted to talk to led the way. Jace and Lennon were becoming friends, which is both good and bad for me. I’m not sure if I’d rather they be close during this or not. What if they talk about me? What if they fight over me?
Ha!
That’s laughable. I mean, they’ve both showed interest, but I highly doubt there will be a fight. Not over me at least.
My headache made its presence known about the time we hit our turn-around point. We’d been given strict instruction to ride to the creek, have a picnic lunch, and ride back. I can’t imagine this is good TV, yet there’s still a camera pointed in my general direction.
There’s twelve of us and three cameramen on their own horses. I’m not even sure how they’re doing it, riding and filming at the same time. Yet every time the camera pans to me, I find myself looking away, staring straight ahead, at the back of Lennon or Jace.
As soon as I’m on solid ground and my horse is tied to a tree, I help Kyra down and do the same. She thanks me before quickly walking away without a word, leaving me to grab all the picnic supplies from both our horses.
The dull pain increases when I realize we were missing two. Again. The same two we “lost” last time. This time, I’m not going looking for them. I honestly couldn’t care less. We’re situated on the edge of the tree line. We rode through an open field. There’s no reason they can’t find us when they’re done doing whatever it is they’re doing.
And getting away with it from the looks of it since all the cameramen are with us.
Teegan and Courtney are spreading out blankets, still bitching about their sore asses, when Lennon sneaks up behind me, taking the small bags from my hands without a word. We were each instructed to bring certain things. Not that we had to make them ourselves. There were bags of food waiting with our names on them in the kitchen. All I had to do was pick them up.
Jace and Callen are arm wrestling as I take a seat on the edge of the blanket next to Kyra. She’s sipping a bottle of water, watching them intently. So is everyone else. Which is a blessing because Milo and Natasha are approaching. Milo has a satisfied grin on his face while Natasha seems to be irritated by his mere presence.
I have a feeling that will be the last of whatever that was.
Too bad. That’s good TV. Not picnics where two equally beautiful men with sculpted bodies arm wrestle with their shirts off.
On second thought, I take that back. Because Jace, shirtless, is a beautiful sight. Every muscle flexed as he fights against Callen. His eyes narrowed in determination as a bead of sweat drips from his forehead, running down his temple.
The urge to wipe
it away catches me off guard yet I want to trace the path the damn sweat it taking. I’m jealous of something he’ll mop up with his shirt once he’s done, I’m sure.
Fanning myself with my hand, I close my eyes and lean back on my elbows. The breeze blows across my body, but it does nothing to cool me or my thoughts.
“Do you think it would be okay if I ate something?” Kyra asks softly. “I feel like I’m going to pass out if I don’t eat soon.”
“Dig in. No one’s gonna care.” When I glance over in her direction, the hesitation’s practically radiating off her body. Fuck.
“Food!” I holler, immediately regretting it as my head continues to throb, but I’ve captured everyone’s attention, including Callen, who then gets his hand slammed against the blanket by Jace.
Callen demands a rematch while Jace smirks in my direction and mouths “Thank you.” I shrug and begin opening all the bags.
“Anyone want to let me ride back with them?” Gage asks, loading his plate with food. “My horse decided to leave me.”
What?
Looking around, I begin counting horses. One, two, three . . . thirteen, fourteen.
Twelve for us, three for the cameramen.
“How the hell do you lose a horse, man?” Jace asks, clearly as confused as I am.
The pounding continues.
Gage just shrugs, taking a bite out of his sandwich, lacking the concern I feel he should have. It’s a five-mile ride. Not too far. He could walk it and probably keep up with us. It’s not like we rode at a fast pace, although I was hoping to get back quicker than we arrived. Especially with the way my head feels.
The boys poke fun at Gage while the rest of us eat in silence. It’s a beautiful day for a picnic, and there isn’t a better spot I could have picked. A creek running in the distance. Birds chirping in the trees surrounding us. The smell of fresh-cut grass. I’m lost in my thoughts when a grape pelts me in the nose. I’m ready to retaliate when I notice Lennon smirking at me.
The rest of the guys are still antagonizing Gage. Kyra and Bella are next to me chatting about books. The rest of the girls are conspiring to take over the world in their little gossip circle.
For ten seconds, it’s just the two of us. I like it. The way it feels when our eyes meet, and I get lost in their golden hue. The way his smile causes my heart to flutter.
Lennon nudges his head toward the creek as he pushes himself off the blanket, offering me his hand. His sudden movements are enough to catch the attention of Callen.
“Where are you two off to?” he asks, all eyes falling to our clasped hands.
“We were going to walk down to the creek. Did anyone else want to come?” I ask, pulling my hand away and avoiding eye contact with everyone by staring past the group. Mainly, to avoid looking in Jace’s direction.
Big mistake.
I was looking straight into a camera for the world to see my humiliation and shame.
But why? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, right?
This is how the game is played. This is why we’re all here. To see if we connect.
Lifting my chin, I notice Courtney and Bella stand, along with Jace, Callen and Gage. Letting out the breath I was holding, I turn and follow Lennon into the trees, toward the creek. There’s a cameraman next to me, watching my every move, the camera trained on my face.
If he’s hoping to capture a million-dollar shot of how I feel, he’s going to be sadly disappointed. I’ve had years of practice stuffing my feelings down deep and pretending everything is fine. Great even.
Sorry, dude. Not gonna happen.
I think he realizes that after a few minutes and turns away from me, falling to the back of the line, right about the time I feel a hand on the small of my back. Lennon is a few feet in front of me, so I can only imagine who it might be.
“Giving up on me so soon?” he whispers, leaning close to my ear. With the way my head is pounding, he may have been screaming at that point.
“I thought Gage was the funny guy,” I note, avoiding his question.
It sounds an awful like Jace growls at my response, but he doesn’t remove his hand. We walk the rest of the way to the creek like that. He’s close by my side, touching me, drawing circles on the small of my back with his finger.
In all honesty, it feels great. Until Lennon turns around and sees what’s going on. Our eyes meet briefly before his settle on Jace. Neither of them moves. I feel trapped between two of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen as they stare each other down, their expressions saying more than words ever could.
It makes me wonder which one is going to try and stake his claim first. Beat his fists against his chest. Pee on my leg.
Rolling my eyes, I finally step away from Jace and sit on a nearby rock to remove my shoes and socks. The creek is only a foot or so deep, and I’m not going to miss the chance to walk in it. I roll my jeans up to my knees and carefully step in the water, Bella right behind me.
The water is ice cold but refreshing. My headache starts to subside as the water rolls past me. That is until one of the cameramen comes down the trail and demands we pack up and head back to the ranch. A storm’s brewing and if we don’t hurry, we could be caught in the middle of it.
His words remind me of the way I feel trapped in the middle of a storm already. Between Jace and Lennon.
Making quick work of packing our things, we’re all about to get back on our horses when Gage approaches me asking if he could ride back with me.
I forgot he lost his damn horse.
Fuck!
Nodding, he saddles up and then helps me get on, forcing me to wrap my arms around him to keep from falling off. All seems like it will be fine until he lets out a satisfied groan.
Aww hell.
I can feel Jace and Lennon’s eyes on me the entire ride back as Gage took the lead. On purpose, I’m sure. To get a rise out of one or both of them. Not that he makes the trip last longer than necessary. In fact, it feels like time flies by, and then I’m dismounting and grabbing my things.
“Thanks for the ride,” Gage says as he places his hand on my shoulder, standing closer than I want him.
Pulling it away quickly and turning to face him, I’m prepared to tell him to fuck off when he slides his arm around my waist and pulls my body against his. Caught off guard, I open my mouth in surprise and he takes advantage, capturing my mouth in the least graceful kiss I’ve ever had.
Wet, slopping. Too much tongue, not enough pressure. Not to mention, his kiss was unwelcome.
Still, when he pulls away a few seconds after he pounced, he’s smiling and thanking me, then walks away before I have the chance to say anything. And there is a camera in my face, capturing it all for the world to see.
Closing my eyes, I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and let out a huff of irritation. My headache is back in full force, and all I want is a moment to myself. To breathe. To think. To not have to deal with cameras and people bitching.
But let’s be honest. That’s never going to stop.
Brushing past the cameraman, I storm off to my villa, locking myself away from everyone and everything. After taking two aspirin, I decide to lie down in bed under the ceiling fan. I was still heated with anger from Gage’s kiss, annoyed at how Jace and Lennon were acting possessive over me, and my head was throbbing.
Deep breath in, then out, I remind myself.
Closing my eyes, I focus on the sound of the fan. The dull click that sounds louder and louder the more I concentrate on it. And then his voice.
“Are you okay?”
I’m going to kill someone before the day is over, and it’s going to be caught on camera. I’ll go away for life without the chance of parole and no real defense except I was angry and flew off the handle. I won’t even be able to claim insanity.
“Fine. What are you doing here?” I ask without opening my eyes, even when I feel a dip in the bed beside me.
“I wanted to check on you. You looked ready to murder
Gage.”
“You could say my thoughts have been less than kind toward him the last hour or so.”
Lennon laughs. A deep, hearty laugh. I feel it from my head to my toes.
“What do you really want, Lennon?” I’m tired. I’m not in the mood to fight with or for him right now. I want to be alone.
“Honestly, I just wanted to apologize for this afternoon. I know you and Jace—”
“Let me stop you there,” I say, opening my eyes and pushing up on my elbows. Lennon is sitting next to me, his eyes apologetic. “There is nothing going on with me and Jace. Nothing going on with me and anyone here. Not yet. But this is a game. The reason we’re all here is to get to know each other so something might happen. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but you never know.”
“I know. That’s why I’m sorry.” Lennon stands, moving to leave, but stops in the doorway to the bedroom. “It’s not a game to me, Presley. I hope you realize that, but I won’t stand in your way. I promise.”
The soft click of my front door closing is all I can hear. Not the fan. Not my headache pounding in my ears. Nope. All I hear is that click, and I know I’m in for a world of hurt because that man cares more about me than he does himself and we barely know each other.
He’s going to let me play the game and pray I choose him in the end. All I can hope is that he plays as well or else he won’t be there for me to pick.
Chapter Six
Day 6
Drinks are flowing. Music blares through the speakers. Laughter fills the air.
And for the first time since arriving, I don’t feel the pressure of the cameras. I know they’re watching, they always are, but there isn’t one trained on my face. There isn’t even a cameraman in the room tonight, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the reprieve.
Behind the bar, Jace mixes drinks.
Gage waves his through the air while he tells what appears to be a funny story judging by the way everyone’s laughing at him. Courtney, Teegan, Bella, and Natasha are all seated on the couch in front of him, holding their stomachs as they belt out laughter.
Love or Lust Page 5