Shopaholic Ties the Knot

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Shopaholic Ties the Knot Page 9

by Sophie Kinsella


  “Such a pretty face!” says Robyn, without letting go of my hands. She’s taking in every inch of me, and I find myself reciprocating. She looks in her forties, immaculately made up with bright hazel eyes, sharp cheekbones, and a wide smile exposing a row of immaculate teeth. Her air of enthusiasm is infectious, but her eyes are appraising as she takes a step back and sweeps over the rest of me.

  “Such a young, fresh look. My dear, you’ll make a stunning bride. Do you know yet what you’ll be wearing on the day?”

  “Er… a wedding dress?” I say stupidly, and Robyn bursts into peals of laughter.

  “That humor!” she cries. “You British girls! You were quite right,” she adds to Elinor, who gives a gracious nod.

  Elinor was right? What about?

  Have they been talking about me?

  “Thanks!” I say, trying to take an unobtrusive step backward. “Shall we…” I nod toward the table.

  “Let’s,” says Robyn, as though I’ve made the most genius suggestion she’s ever heard. “Let’s do that.” As she sits down I notice she’s wearing a brooch of two intertwined wedding rings, encrusted with diamonds.

  “You like this?” says Robyn. “The Gilbrooks gave it to me after I planned their daughter’s wedding. Now that was a drama! Poor Bitty Gilbrook’s nail broke at the last minute and we had to fly her manicurist in by helicopter…” She pauses as though lost in memories, then snaps to. “So, Rebecca.” She beams at me and I can’t help beaming back. “Lucky, lucky girl. Tell me, are you enjoying every moment?”

  “Well—”

  “What I always say is, the first week after you’re engaged is the most precious time of all. You have to savor it.”

  “Actually, it’s been a couple of weeks now—”

  “Savor it,” says Robyn, lifting a finger. “Wallow in it. What I always say is, no one else can have those memories for you.”

  “Well, OK!” I say with a grin. “I’ll… wallow in it!”

  “Before we start,” says Elinor, “I must give you one of these.” She reaches into her bag and puts an invitation down on the table.

  What’s this?

  Mrs. Elinor Sherman requests the pleasure of your company…

  Wow. Elinor’s holding an engagement party! For us!

  “Gosh!” I look up. “Well… thanks. I didn’t know we were having an engagement party!”

  “I discussed the matter with Luke.”

  “Really? He never mentioned it to me.”

  “It must have slipped his mind.” Elinor gives me a cold, gracious smile. “I will have a stack of these delivered to your apartment and you can invite some friends of your own. Say… ten.”

  “Well… er… thanks.”

  “Now, shall we have some champagne, to celebrate?”

  “What a lovely idea!” says Robyn. “What I always say is, if you can’t celebrate a wedding, what can you celebrate?” She gives me a twinkling smile and I smile back. I’m warming to this woman. But I still don’t know what she’s doing here.

  “Erm… I was just wondering, Robyn,” I say hesitantly. “Are you here in a… professional capacity?”

  “Oh no. No, no, nooooo.” Robyn shakes her head. “It’s not a profession. It’s a calling. The hours I put in… the sheer love I put into my job…”

  “Right.” I glance uncertainly at Elinor. “Well, the thing is — I’m not sure I’m going to need any help. Although it’s very kind of you—”

  “No help?” Robyn throws back her head and peals with laughter. “You’re not going to need any help? Please! Do you know how much organization a wedding takes?”

  “Well—”

  “Have you ever done it before?”

  “No, but—”

  “A lot of girls think your way,” says Robyn, nodding. “Do you know who those girls are?”

  “Um—”

  “They’re the girls who end up weeping into their wedding cake, because they’re too stressed out to enjoy the fun! Do you want to be those girls?”

  “No!” I say in alarm.

  “Right! Of course you don’t!” She sits back, looking like a teacher whose class has finally cracked two plus two. “Rebecca, I will take that strain off you. I will take on the headaches, the hard work, the sheer stress of the situation… Ah, here’s the champagne!”

  Maybe she has got a point, I think as a waiter pours champagne into three flutes. Maybe it would be a good idea to get a little extra help. Although how exactly she’ll coordinate with Mum…

  “I will become your best friend, Becky,” Robyn’s saying, beaming at me. “By the time of your wedding, I’ll know you better than your best friend does. People call my methods unorthodox; they say I get too close. But when they see the results…”

  “Robyn is unparalleled in this city,” says Elinor, taking a sip of champagne, and Robyn gives a modest smile.

  “So let’s start with the basics,” she says, and takes out a large, leather-bound notebook. “The wedding’s on June 22nd…”

  “Yes.”

  “Rebecca and Luke…”

  “Yes.”

  “At the Plaza Hotel…”

  “What?” I stare at her. “No, that’s not—”

  “I’m taking it that both the ceremony and reception will take place there?” She looks up at Elinor.

  “I think so,” says Elinor, nodding. “Much easier that way.”

  “Excuse me—”

  “So — the ceremony in the Terrace Room?” She scribbles for a moment. “And then the reception in the Ballroom. Lovely. And how many?”

  “Wait a minute!” I say, planting a hand on her notebook. “What are you talking about?”

  “Your wedding,” says Elinor. “To my son.”

  “At the Plaza Hotel,” says Robyn with a beam. “I don’t need to tell you how lucky you are, getting the date you wanted! Luckily it was a client of mine who made the cancellation, so I was able to snap it right up for you then and there…”

  “I’m not getting married at the Plaza Hotel!”

  Robyn looks sharply at Elinor, concern creasing her brow. “I thought you’d spoken to John Ferguson?”

  “I have,” replies Elinor crisply. “I spoke with him yesterday.”

  “Good! Because as you know, we’re on a very tight schedule. A Plaza wedding in less than five months? There are some wedding planners who would simply say, impossible! I am not that wedding planner. I did a wedding once in three days. Three days! Of course, that was on a beach, so it was a little different—”

  “What do you mean, the Plaza’s booked?” I turn in my chair. “Elinor, we’re getting married in Oxshott. You know we are.”

  “Oxshott?” Robyn wrinkles her brow. “I don’t know it. Is it upstate?”

  “Some provisional arrangements have been made,” says Elinor dismissively. “They can easily be cancelled.”

  “They’re not provisional!” I stare at Elinor in fury. “And they can’t be cancelled!”

  “You know, I sense some tension here,” says Robyn brightly. “So I’ll just go make a few calls…” She picks up her mobile and moves off to the side of the restaurant, and Elinor and I are left glaring at each other.

  I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “Elinor, I’m not getting married in New York. I’m getting married at home. Mum’s already started organizing it. You know she has!”

  “You are not getting married in some unknown backyard in England,” says Elinor crisply. “Do you know who Luke is? Do you know who I am?”

  “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  “For someone with a modicum of intelligence, you’re very naive.” Elinor takes a sip of champagne. “This is the most important social event in all our lives. It must be done properly. Lavishly. The Plaza is unsurpassed for weddings. You must be aware of that.”

  “But Mum’s already started planning!”

  “Then she can stop planning. Rebecca, your mother will be grateful to have the wedding taken off
her hands. It goes without saying, I will fund the entire event. She can attend as a guest.”

  “She won’t want to attend as some guest! It’s her daughter’s wedding! She wants to be the hostess! She wants to organize it!”

  “So!” A cheerful voice interrupts us. “Are we resolved?” Robyn appears back at the table, putting her mobile away.

  “I’ve booked an appointment for us to see the Terrace Room after lunch,” says Elinor frostily. “I would be glad if you would at least be courteous enough to come and view it with us.”

  I stare at her mutinously, tempted to throw down my napkin and say no way. I can’t believe Luke knows anything about this. In fact, I feel like ringing him up right now and telling him exactly what I think.

  But then I remember he’s at a board lunch… and I also remember him asking me to give his mother a chance. Well, fine. I’ll give her a chance. I’ll go along and see the room, and walk around and nod politely and say nothing. And then tonight I’ll tell her equally politely that I’m still getting married in Oxshott.

  “All right,” I say at last.

  “Good.” Elinor’s mouth moves a few millimeters. “Shall we order?”

  Throughout lunch, Elinor and Robyn talk about all the New York weddings they’ve ever been to, and I eat my food silently, resisting their attempts to draw me into the conversation. Outwardly I’m calm, but inside I can’t stop seething. How dare Elinor try and take over? How dare she just hire a wedding planner without even consulting me? How dare she call Mum’s garden an “unknown backyard”?

  She’s just an interfering cow, and if she thinks I’m going to get married in some huge anonymous New York hotel instead of at home with all my friends and family, she can just think again.

  We finish lunch and decline coffee, and head outside. It’s a brisk, breezy day with clouds scudding along the blue sky.

  As we walk toward the Plaza, Robyn smiles at me. “I can understand if you’re a little tense. It can be very stressful, planning a New York wedding. Some of my clients get very… wound up, shall we say.”

  I’m not planning a New York wedding! I want to yell. I’m planning an Oxshott wedding! But instead I just smile and say, “I suppose.”

  “I have one client in particular who’s really quite demanding…” Robyn exhales sharply. “But as I say, it is a stressful business… Ah. Here we are! Isn’t it an impressive sight?”

  As I look up at the opulent facade of the Plaza I grudgingly have to admit it looks pretty good. It stretches up above Plaza Square like a wedding cake, with flags flying above a grand porticoed entrance.

  “Have you been to a wedding here before?” asks Robyn.

  “No. I’ve never been inside at all.”

  “Ah! Well… In we go…” says Robyn, ushering Elinor and me up the steps, past uniformed porters, through a revolving door, and into an enormous reception hall with a high, ornate ceiling, a marble floor, and huge gilded pillars. Directly in front of us is a light, bright area filled with palms and trellises where people are drinking coffee and a harp is playing and waiters in gray uniforms are hurrying around with silver coffeepots.

  I suppose, if I’m honest, this is quite impressive too.

  “Along here,” says Robyn, taking my arm and leading us to a cordoned-off staircase. She unclasps a heavy rope cordon and we head up a grand staircase, and through another vast marble hall. Everywhere I look are ornate carvings, antiques, wall hangings, the hugest chandeliers I’ve ever seen…

  “This is Mr. Ferguson, the executive director of catering.”

  Out of nowhere, a dapper man in a jacket has appeared. He shakes my hand and beams at me.

  “Welcome to the Plaza, Rebecca! And may I say, you’ve made a very wise choice. There’s nothing in the world like a Plaza wedding.”

  “Right!” I say politely. “Well, it seems a very nice hotel…”

  “Whatever your fantasy, whatever your cherished dream, we’ll do everything we can to create it for you. Isn’t that right, Robyn?”

  “That’s right!” says Robyn fondly. “You simply couldn’t be in better hands.”

  “Shall we go and look at the Terrace Room first?” Mr. Ferguson’s eyes twinkle. “This is the room where the ceremony will take place. I think you’ll like it.”

  We sweep back through the vast marble hall and he opens a pair of double doors, and we walk into an enormous room, surrounded by a white balustraded terrace. At one end is a marble fountain, at the other steps up to a raised area. Everywhere I look, people are scurrying around, arranging flowers and draping chiffon and placing gilt chairs in angled rows on the richly patterned carpet.

  Wow.

  This is actually… quite nice.

  Oh, sod it. It’s amazing.

  “You’re in luck!” says Mr. Ferguson with a beam. “We have a wedding on Saturday, so you can see the room ‘in action,’ as it were.”

  “Nice flowers,” says Robyn politely, then leans toward me and whispers, “We’ll have something far more special than these.”

  More special than these? They’re the hugest, most spectacular flower arrangements I’ve ever seen in my life! Cascading roses, and tulips, and lilies… and are those orchids?

  “So, you’ll come in through these double doors,” says Robyn, leading me along the terrace, “and then the bugles will play… or trumpets… whatever you wish… You’ll pause in front of the grotto, arrange your train, have some photographs. And then the string orchestra will begin…”

  “String orchestra?” I echo dazedly.

  “I’ve spoken to the New York Phil,” she adds to Elinor. “They’re checking their tour schedule, so, fingers crossed…”

  The New York Phil?

  “The bride on Saturday is having seven harpists,” says Mr. Ferguson. “And a soprano soloist from the Met.”

  Robyn and Elinor look at each other.

  “Now that’s an idea,” says Robyn, and reaches for her notebook. “I’ll get onto it.”

  “Shall we go and look at the Baroque Room now?” suggests Mr. Ferguson, and leads us to a large, old-fashioned elevator.

  “The night before the wedding, you’ll probably want to take a suite upstairs and enjoy the spa facilities,” he says pleasantly as we travel upward. “Then on the day, you can bring in your own professional hair and makeup people.” He smiles. “But I expect you’ve already thought of that.”

  “I… er…” My mind flicks madly back to Janice and Radiant Spring Bride. “Kind of…”

  “The guests will be served cocktails as they pass along the corridor,” explains Robyn as we leave the elevator. “Then this is the Baroque Room, where hors d’oeuvres will be served before we go into the Grand Ballroom. I expect you haven’t even given hors d’oeuvres a thought yet!”

  “Well… um… you know…” I’m about to say that everyone likes minisausages.

  “But for example,” she continues, “you could consider a caviar bar, an oyster bar, a Mediterranean meze table, sushi, perhaps…”

  “Right,” I gulp. “That… sounds good.”

  “And of course, the space itself can be themed however you like.” She gestures around the room. “We can transform it into a Venetian carnival, a Japanese garden, a medieval banqueting hall… wherever your imagination takes you!”

  “And then into the Grand Ballroom for the main reception!” says Mr. Ferguson cheerfully. He throws open a pair of double doors and… oh my God. This room is the most spectacular of all. It’s all white and gold, with a high ceiling and theatrical boxes, and tables set around the vast, polished dance floor.

  “That’s where you and Luke will lead the dancing,” says Robyn with a happy sigh. “I always say, that’s the moment of a wedding I love the most. The first dance.”

  I gaze at the shining floor, and have a sudden vision of Luke and me whirling round among the candlelight and everyone looking on.

  And seven harps.

  And the New York Phil.

  And caviar… a
nd oysters… and cocktails…

  “Rebecca, are you all right?” says Mr. Ferguson, suddenly seeing my expression.

  “I think she’s a little overwhelmed,” says Robyn with a little laugh. “It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?”

  “Well… yes. I suppose so.”

  I take a deep breath and turn away for a moment. OK, let’s not get carried away. This may all be very glitzy, but I am not going to be swayed by any of it. I’ve decided I’m going to get married in England — and that’s what I’m going to do. End of story.

  Except… just look at it all.

  “Come and sit down,” says Robyn, patting a gilt chair beside her. “Now, I know from your point of view it still seems far off. But we’re on a pretty tight schedule… so I just wanted to talk to you about your overall view of the wedding. What’s your fantasy? What, for you, is the image of pure romance? A lot of my clients say Scarlett and Rhett, or Fred and Ginger…” She looks at me with sparkling eyes, her pen poised expectantly over the page.

  This has gone far enough. I have to tell this woman that none of this is actually going to happen. Come on, Becky. Get back to reality.

  “I…”

  “Yes?”

  “I’ve always loved the end of Sleeping Beauty, when they dance together,” I hear myself saying.

  “The ballet,” says Elinor approvingly.

  “No, actually, I meant… the Disney film.”

  “Oh!” Robyn looks momentarily puzzled. “I’ll have to catch that again! Well… I’m sure that will be inspirational too…”

  She starts writing in her book and I bite my inner lip.

  I have to call a halt to all this. Come on. Say something!

  For some reason my mouth stays closed. I look around, taking in the molded ceiling; the gilding; the twinkling chandeliers.

  Robyn follows my gaze and smiles at me. “Becky, you know, you’re a very lucky girl.” She squeezes my arm affectionately. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

  HOUSE OF LORDS

  Appointments Commission

 

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