by Lynn VanDorn
“Sure,” Tyler said. “Why not? Take off your jeans.”
“In a second. I thought you looked like a grubby juvenile elfin prostitute.”
“Charming,” Tyler said, sounding insulted, but his eyes sparkled with humor.
“Yeah. Like you’d suck me off in a back alley and expect to get paid in Pixy Stix and Skittles.”
Tyler pushed away from the wall, the look in his eyes both amused and dangerous. “Liar. You thought no such thing.”
“Then you went and took a shower, and when you came to me and laid your head on my lap you were so goddamned beautiful it was like you weren't even real. Which one is you, Tyler?”
“I'm not telling. Take off your pants. Now.”
Josh pulled his jeans down and stepped out of them and his loafers so he stood wearing only a very small and very tight pair of dark gray and red briefs.
“God, Josh. I thought the green ones were nice, but these are better. Worse. I don't know. Who did you pack these underwear for? You were supposed to be on vacation alone.” Tyler trailed his fingers over and down Josh’s chest to the briefs in question.
Josh stepped back out of reach, then pulled them off and down his legs. “Maybe I was hoping to meet a cabana boy,” he said.
“On a lake in Wisconsin?”
“You never know.” Josh moved forward to push Tyler back against the wall. He cupped Tyler’s balls in one hand and his shaft with the other. His thumb glided along the head, coating his fingers with the wetness there. “I found you.”
Tyler's eyes squeezed shut and he moaned. Josh kissed along the side of his jaw and neck. He swallowed the words Mine mine mine mine before his mouth could say them. He leaned back and drew Tyler away from the wall. “Let's go to bed,” he said. “I'm far too old and you're way too short for us to do it in the hallway.”
“Good plan. I'm all for doing it on a bed like a civilized person. Carpet burns on my knees are not fun,” Tyler said. “I will ignore for the moment that you said I'm short, old man.”
Josh laughed softly and led Tyler to his bed. Tyler hopped back and fell onto it, his legs and arms spread wide.
“Tell me what you want,” Tyler said, his entire body an invitation.
Josh climbed onto Tyler and pinned him with his weight, sitting on his thighs. “I already told you. I want everything.”
Josh pictured his constructed safety railing. Tyler sat on it, his legs dangling over the edge as he kicked his heels. Josh climbed up to join him. He peered into the abyss below. It was a long way down.
“Okay,” Tyler said, and drew him down so that their lips nearly touched. “Tonight, whatever you want, whatever you need, it's yours. Everything.” Instead of pulling Josh down the rest of the way, Tyler lifted his head to kiss him.
On the barricade in his mind, the man sitting next to him reached out, took his hand, and held it tight.
Chapter 22
Tyler Might Be in over His Head
Wednesday, September 21th, 12:21 a.m.
Josh’s extremely tidy bedroom
Evanston, IL
Tyler: You are never going to guess what I walked into today.
Purvi: Tell me! I'm bored, anyway.
Tyler: Ryan getting his dick sucked in his living room by a dude.
Purvi: What. The. Actual. Fuck. EXPLAIN NOW.
Tyler: Okay, so got to R’s place earlier than I expected and caught him getting a bj from this kid. I mean, I'm pretty sure he's old enough to drink, but not by much.
Purvi: OMG!
Tyler: Yeah. My “I'm not into dudes at all, never mind my six-year relationship with Josh” brother is definitely into dudes.
Purvi: Wait. Josh as in YOUR Josh?
Tyler: He's not MY Josh, but yes. That Josh.
Tyler: That's right. You wouldn't know. When they were teenagers Josh and my brother were A THING.
Tyler: And by THING, I mean they fucked a lot. Pretty much in secret, because supposedly my brother is straight.
Purvi: Um… that doesn't sound straight.
Tyler: Preaching to the choir.
Purvi: Isn't he engaged? To like a girl?
Tyler: Yup.
Purvi: Huh.
Purvi: So bi?
Tyler: Maybe? He's still going with straight.
Tyler: Anyway.
Tyler: Things were like all kinds of fucked-up and awkward around here tonight. Josh’s been broody all evening, natch, then as we were leaving he attacked me in the elevator.
Purvi: Attacked?
Tyler: Tried to give me a tonsillectomy via mouth suction.
Purvi: Ah.
Tyler: And then we
Tyler: Never mind.
Purvi: NEVERMIND??? Oh, no you don’t. You fucking TEASE.
Tyler: We’ll talk tomorrow, promise.
Purvi: I hate you.
–—
Wednesday, September 21st, 12:36 a.m.
Josh’s extremely tidy bedroom
Evanston, IL
Josh had made love to him. Tyler lay in Josh’s bed, surrounded by Josh’s scent, naked in Josh’s arms, and pondered the implications. They were troubling.
Tyler had expected a hard ride, and had been okay with that. After Josh’s mini-meltdown in the elevator, he'd been willing to throw his body at Josh if it would get that shocky look out of his eyes or prevent another cleaning incident. Josh’s master bathroom was tiled in a million little squares of blue and gray glass, and Tyler could just see him in there cleaning the miles of pristine white grout with a toothbrush.
Instead of the angry fucking he'd been expecting, Tyler had just been cherished within an inch of his life. Instead of bites and bruises, Josh had covered every inch of Tyler's skin in kisses, licks, and caresses. Even the scarred bits. Especially the scarred bits. Josh had held him down and kissed and licked along the scars on his hips and thighs until Tyler had begged Josh to fuck him already or suck his cock or just do something, anything, please. It had been lovely and terrible and frankly, a bit disturbing. Tyler wished he knew what was going on in the head of the man curled around him. He was afraid he might know the answer, though, and that was largely the problem.
A heartbroken Josh would have made sense. An angry Josh would have been better. What he'd gotten instead was sweet Josh. Seductive Josh. Adoring Josh. It was as if he’d switched his allegiance from Ryan to Tyler in one fell swoop, starting with that desperate kiss in the elevator. Even if it wasn't ill-fated rebound affection, and Tyler was nearly certain it was, he needed Josh’s actual devotion like he needed a hole in his head. Unless, that was, he could pry Josh out of Illinois for longer than a week or two.
Would that even be possible? Tyler let his mind, safe here in the slight unreality of late-night drowsiness, imagine it. Josh in his house, in the pool, drinking coffee in the morning, pestering Tyler to eat breakfast. Eating dinner, just the two of them, or maybe with Purvi and her boyfriend. Snuggled together watching TV. Taking Josh to a premiere. Josh in a tux, on a red carpet, smiling and holding Tyler’s hand. Josh in his bed every night, curled around him like he was right now.
Then he imagined Josh despising California and everything about it, missing home and his family, especially his sister, resenting Tyler and the often-relentless paparazzi. He saw Josh retreating into himself, alternately fighting and sulking. Tyler pictured his immaculately clean house and the new marks on his legs. The look of accusation in Josh’s eyes, his patience with Tyler having worn tissue-thin.
Tyler remembered all the ways he'd been hurt before. He knew that people, if pushed hard enough, were capable of anything. He knew just as certainly that he would push because pushing was what he did best. He pushed and pushed and pushed until people snapped. He thought of that last party with David and shivered.
Josh would never… I'm pretty sure… but what if I'm wrong? And on the heels of that thought, But what if I'm right? What if he's everything he seems to be? Is that better or worse?
None of this was supposed to be real
. Tyler hadn't signed up for that, or the inevitable disaster that would result. For that matter, neither had Josh. If he was a better person, Tyler would back out now and leave Josh alone, damn the personal and professional consequences. It was too bad that Tyler wasn't the tiniest bit noble. He didn't want to give up either Josh or their arrangement, and was in no way ready to do so, no matter how selfish that made him.
Tyler had enjoyed the hell out of Josh’s attentions tonight. Rather more than he would have thought, and quite a bit more than he was happy admitting to himself. He wasn't sure how he would feel about a steady diet of adoration, but last night had been wonderful, and right now his body felt fantastic. His muscles were warm and liquid, his ass had a pleasant ache, and he was comfortably tired. Tyler felt well-used and, if he was being honest, well-loved. He liked that as well, likely too much.
Tyler had told Josh there was no such thing as too much. He might’ve been wrong about that. I shouldn't get used to this. It's not real and it's not mine. He doesn't belong to me and he never will.
Stop it, whispered the part of him that never, no matter what, gave in to despair or hysterics. Stop borrowing trouble and just chill the fuck out. It was sex, great sex, fantastic sex, but just sex. Not a marriage proposal. Not forever. There is no need to freak the fuck out. But if you want him, take him. It's as simple as that.
Simple, maybe, but not easy. Not by a long shot. It would be far easier, and safer, to keep pretending that what they were doing meant nothing. It was a fling. Just a way to pass the time before they went their separate ways. No claiming needed to occur. No feelings needed to be acknowledged. This was all temporary, and Tyler would be wise to keep that firmly in mind. Dreams of Josh in his future were just that: dreams and nothing more. Fantasies he should have long ago outgrown.
Tyler rubbed his cheek along the arm he was using as a pillow and breathed in the scent of Josh’s skin. He decided to worry about it all later, when he was alone and could think without Josh’s very distracting presence. He was likely overreacting. It was, after all, just sex.
“Has my ‘everything’ expired yet?” Josh whispered in his ear.
Tyler rolled over so that he faced Josh and his warm eyes, messy hair, and hopeful smile. Saying no to him would be like kicking a puppy. Hell, a whole basketful of puppies. How Ryan had ever managed it was a mystery beyond Tyler’s comprehension.
“Depends. I'm a little sore,” Tyler said. “The spirit might be willing, but I'm not sure anything else is.”
Josh’s hand dipped under the blankets, found Tyler’s cock, and stroked it. “I don't know about that. I think something besides your spirit might be willing.”
Tyler arched his back and thrust into Josh’s fist. “Are you seriously telling me that you're up for more? Because my spirit and dick might be on board, but my ass is not.” Josh let go of his cock, so Tyler pouted.
Josh laughed at him, the jerk. “Wimp.”
“When I go on national television tomorrow night I do not want to wince when I sit down, thank you so very much. It's been a long time for me, you know. Give me some time to get back in the saddle, so to speak. Oh God, stop that, you horrible man.” That last was said in response to Josh pushing him onto his back and pinning him down. Then Josh took one of his nipples into his mouth and sucked hard. “Never mind. Forget what I just said. Keep on doing that.”
So of course Josh stopped, because he was indeed a horrible man. “Just how long has it been for you?” Josh asked, then he redeemed himself by applying his attention to Tyler’s other nipple.
Tyler counted back. “It's hard to think when you do that. No, I didn't say stop. Uh, almost three years.”
Josh reared back to look at him. “Are you serious? Brad made out like you were some sort of notorious man-whore and you didn't deny it.”
Tyler huffed. “You know, not all sex ends in my ass getting pounded. Shocking concept, but there it is.”
“Oh,” Josh said, looking somewhat contrite. “Well. I had you pegged as a dedicated power bottom. I stand corrected and apologize for impugning your honor, your majesty.”
Tyler shoved on Josh’s shoulder, pushing him off and onto his back. He leaned over and frowned down at him. “And you pegged me as a power bottom why?” he asked, his voice silky but with a sharp edge underneath.
“Um…” Josh said, looking a bit concerned.
Tyler flopped back to lay on his side. “I'm just fucking with you,” he said. “Yes, I'm a bit… assertive.” Josh snorted at that. “Yes, I like to be fucked. But not exclusively. That’s just dull.”
“Oh?”
There was a wealth of prying curiosity in that one tiny word, and Tyler struggled to answer it without letting every secret he had pour out of his mouth. Until last week, Tyler had been happy enough making do with blow jobs and hand jobs from random hookups. He didn't want that brain of Josh’s, even hampered as it currently was with an erection, to puzzle out why Tyler had so easily fallen onto Josh’s dick after what amounted to a long drought. The answer was far too revealing.
“I haven't bottomed since I broke up with my evil ex, David,” he ended up saying. “That was three years ago. After David, I ended up dating Ethan, who’s the most bottomy bottom who ever bottomed. He wouldn't fuck me with a dildo, let alone his own dick, so that's probably why we didn't last. Well, that and we’re too alike. Being with him was like having sex with my lazy and less-attractive twin. Don't get me wrong. Ethan is a great guy and one of my best friends. We just don't work as a couple. Too similar in some ways, too different in others. Now he's with this guy in his forties and I think Ethan calls him daddy, which, ew, but they're in lurve, so more power to them. And if you even think of trying to get me to call you daddy, I will cut you.”
Josh laughed. “I wouldn't dream of it, princess.”
Tyler glowered at Josh. A tiny part of him might not hate that awful endearment, but that didn't mean he had to acknowledge it. “Don't push it,” he growled at Josh, who responded by smiling and kissing his nose, which only made Tyler scowl harder.
“Okay,” Josh said, like a dog with a bone, “so you don't always bottom.” He stroked up and down Tyler’s back with one of those lovely hands of his. “Good to know.”
“What about you, Dr. Rosen? Do you always top?”
“No,” Josh traced abstract designs along Tyler’s spine with his fingers. “Depends on who I'm with.”
“Ha. Called it. Oh, man, don't stop doing that.”
“Called what?” Josh, that lovely man, kept petting him as ordered. He really was perfect, damn him.
Tyler grinned up at him. “That you’re vers. I had a feeling you were all things to all men, so to speak. It's so very you. Thank you, by the way, for taking one for the team. I couldn't have asked for a nicer man to break my ass back in.”
Josh’s fingers traced down to Tyler’s ass, then squeezed it. “Yeah, like topping you is any kind of hardship. God, your ass is amazing.”
“I'm glad you noticed.”
Josh snorted. “Yeah, I noticed.” He leaned in and nipped Tyler’s bottom lip. “Although you are the most toppy bottom—or mostly bottom, I suppose—that I have ever been with, there is just something about you that makes me want to stick my dick into you. Repeatedly. I want to fuck you any and every way I can, so it's a good thing you're okay with that.”
“Yes, that is convenient, isn't it?” Tyler said. He reached up and stroked Josh’s hair.
Josh shrugged the shoulder he wasn't lying on. “Yeah. But…”
“But what?”
“I wouldn't mind if you…” Josh blushed and trailed off.
“You want me to top you?” Tyler pushed Josh onto his back and climbed on top of him, rubbing his ass along Josh’s erection. “I did tell you I was flexible. Let me demonstrate. Bossy bottom? You seem to like that one a lot, but wait, there's more.” Tyler arranged himself artistically on the bed, hands above his head and legs spread, a look of pure innocence plastered on his face. “Sw
eet submissive? No? Moving on, then.” Tyler’s expression slid into a knowing leer, then he moved again so he knelt between Josh’s legs. He pushed them up and apart, spreading his ass cheeks. “Hold your legs like this,” Tyler said in a tone that brooked no disobedience. He fingered Josh’s hole, making him gasp then bite his lip. “Or demanding lover?” Tyler reached up for Josh’s cock and jacked the hard length a few times before bringing it to his mouth. He licked along the length, tasting salt and warm skin and smelling Josh’s sweat and musk. He traced his tongue along the vein running down it and lathed the head.
Josh let go of his legs to bury his fingers in Tyler’s hair. He pushed Tyler’s face down. “Suck me,” he half-ordered and half-begged.
Tyler fought the pressure of Josh’s hands long enough to pull up and say, “Obedient boy, coming right up,” then sucked Josh’s cock as told. When Josh tasted close, Tyler worked saliva-slicked fingers into him, found his prostate, and stoked upward until Josh came, his body jackknifing, Tyler’s name on his lips. Tyler swallowed and slowly pulled his mouth from Josh’s softening cock, causing him to squirm from overstimulation.
“God, Ty. That was…” Josh sounded shaky.
“What?”
Josh panted for breath. He put a hand over his heart. “Just… wow.”
“So articulate,” he murmured, but Josh’s response caused a thrill to course through Tyler, making him feel both weak and powerful. He moved up Josh’s body, leaving a trail of wet, bruised skin from the suction of his mouth. “I can fuck your mouth,” he said, and did just that. Josh’s hands grabbed his hips and controlled the movement, keeping Tyler from going too deep, but Tyler didn't care, mindless from the sensation of sweet, hot suction and Josh’s incredible tongue. Looking down at Josh was intoxicating, watching this mostly proper and normally fastidious man suck his dick with a blissful expression on his face while saliva wet his cheeks and chin. In what seemed to him hardly any time at all Tyler came, gasping for breath, one hand grasping the headboard for dear life.