Again, I’m in agreement with Josie. Spencer is hotter than ever. But, I can’t look at her without seeing those kids. Three. Fucking. Kids. I half expect one of ’em to pop up at any moment, demanding her attention. Leeches.
My skin pricks as I down the rest of my beer, tapping the counter before I’ve even finished swallowing, indicating for Josie to bring me another.
“Thanks, Josie. It’s really sweet of you to say that,” Spencer says meekly, as if she doesn’t believe it. Her cheeks pinken slightly and her smile is flat. It doesn’t reach her eyes. How can she not know how drop dead gorgeous she is?
Spencer makes it a point to ignore me for the most part, catching up with Josie and a few other locals who’ve trickled in. She’s like a fucking celebrity or something. Everyone expresses their shock and excitement over having her back. But that’s always been Spencer...the life of the party. Everyone’s best friend, unless you cross her. Then she can be a cold-hearted bitch. I’m on the receiving end of that treatment tonight.
The more I drink, the more it really starts to bother me. How can she be so fucking pissed at me for not wanting kids? According to my parents and my college roommate, Derrick, I have no right to be angry at her for having children, even though I kind of am. Yet, she can give me the cold-shoulder for not having them? I’d have been fucking ecstatic to learn that she didn’t want kids with another man.
After another beer, I really want to call her out on this shit. I’m tired of the distance. We’ve been keeping each other at arm’s length for years because of boyfriends or girlfriends or spouses, or kids. I turn in her direction, ready to do just that, but the smile on her face stops me. I haven’t seen her smile like this in years. Spencer is enjoying herself, and I’m not selfish enough to ruin her night. It can wait.
After a few beers of her own, Josie is feeling even more audacious than usual. While only half paying attention to Roy, I hear, “Okay, girl. I’ve got to know...” Josie’s beer bottle lands loudly on the bar in front of Spencer and me. “Is it true you worked at some clinic teaching people how to have sex? I mean, I ain’t judgin’ or nothin’,” she slurs. “Just curious.”
Apparently, everyone else is, too, because it’s suddenly quiet enough to hear a pin drop.
I swivel in my chair, facing Spence, who is choking on her drink. “Jesus, Josie,” I mutter as I pat Spencer on the back.
Josie doesn’t apologize, just continues staring at Spence, awaiting her response.
Spencer clears her throat, scanning the room nervously. “I’m a sex therapist, Josie. I don’t teach people how to have sex or orgasms,” she says pointedly at me. “We talk. It’s nothing physical. I would never touch my patients.” Her head hangs forward just a little, her long hair shielding her from prying eyes.
“Huh.” Josie’s face falls with disappointment. “Well, that sounds a lot less exciting than I’ve been picturing all these years.”
Spence begins absentmindedly picking at the label on my beer as her face heats from all of the attention. “Sorry to disappoint you, Josie.” Without realizing it, her body moves closer to mine, and it feels good to know that even when she’s pissed at me, she’s still comforted by my presence.
Slowly, the noise level picks up and the beginning chords to our song start to play. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith.
“Dance with me?” I ask, grabbing her tiny hand in my own and tugging.
She’s still mad, but Spence allows me to lead her out to the dance floor, grateful for the opportunity to escape the hot seat. We’re the only two out here, but I don’t care. I just wanna hold her. Smell her. Breathe her air.
I wrap my arms around her waist and Spencer’s body stiffens. “Come on, babe. Dance with me.” My heart is pounding. So is hers. I can feel her pulse racing against the hand that’s gripping her wrist.
Spencer’s beautiful blue eyes glisten as she hesitantly lifts her arms and places them on my shoulders. “I don’t like you very much right now.”
I chuckle to myself. “That’s okay,” I whisper in her ear, pulling her closer. “Just give me one dance...for old time’s sake, huh? You can go back to hating me after.”
I feel her heart beating against my chest as she rests her chin on my shoulder, linking her hands behind my neck. Each time she exhales, her warm breath sends a jolt of electricity through my body.
I slide my right hand slowly up her back, and when my fingers trail over the clasp of her bra, it takes everything in me not to unhook it and undress this woman here and now. I’ve yearned for this moment for so long.
Every word of the song rings true. There is nothing I want more than to stay in this moment forever. To pretend that it’s still just me and Spence. No divorces. No kids. No regrets.
I can’t be certain, but I think I feel her lips brush the skin at the base of my neck. With my right hand, I grip her chin, turning her face up to mine. I meet her eyes and allow my own to drift down to her trembling lips and back up to her eyes. It’s a question, and when her tongue darts out to lick her bottom lip, I have all the answer I need.
My mouth crashes onto hers, and as our bodies sway in time to the music, our tongues dance to a rhythm that’s all their own. Spencer tastes of liquor and spearmint gum. She smells like heaven.
It’s as if we were never apart—like we’ve been kissing for all of our lives. Spencer moans against my lips, and I grip the back of her neck, kissing her harder, determined to leave my mark.
I haven’t felt this much with anyone since Spencer. I’d started to believe that maybe I’d imagined that kissing could be this good. But, my memory did not deceive me.
Soft touches turn frantic. Gentle kisses become bruising. Rapid breaths progress to sensual moans. I allow the moment to completely take me; getting lost in the way her body responds to mine.
There’s a slow clap and the bar erupts into cheers.
I feel her body stiffen at the attention, but she doesn’t pull her lips away. We stand there making out like two kids ’til long after the music has stopped. When Spence finally breaks for air, she grabs my hand, tugging me off the dance floor and down the hall to the women’s restroom.
“What’re you doing, Spencer?” I ask as she shuts and bolts the door behind us. When she looks up at me, the hunger in her eyes is unmistakable.
Spencer’s body slams against mine, and her hands fist into my hair as she thrusts her tongue into my mouth.
I groan, swirling my tongue around hers before pulling back. “Answer me, Princess, ’cause I am seconds away from ripping your clothes off and fucking you against this wall.”
She whimpers. “The kids...” Leave it to Spencer to bring them up at a time like this.
“Aren’t here,” I grit out, trying not to let my frustration show. It’s always about those damn kids.
She tilts her head back, offering me her neck to feast on. “Tell me what you want, baby,” I urge as I trail my tongue along her throat, feeling her body melt beneath me.
“I-I...Oh God.” Spencer’s head falls back as her eyes begin to roll up.
Fucking hell, she’s close already.
“I’m not looking for a relationship,” she rushes out.
I remove my lips from the skin above her breasts. “What are you lookin’ for, Spence?” I lower my hand, cupping her between the legs through her jeans and squeeze.
Spencer’s entire body jerks, shaking with need. “A friend?” she asks. “With, ummm...Oh God, that’s so good,” she breathes out as I trace the shell of her ear with my tongue.
“With?” I urge, continuing to rub her through her tight ass jeans.
“Benefitsss,” she says, bucking against me. “No st-strings.”
“You want me to fuck you, baby?”
Her head bobs as her legs begin to buckle. Spence can barely hold herself upright, and I can’t take her on the floor of this nasty ass bathroom. We don’t have many options, but I’ll make it work. There is no way in hell I’m missing this chance.
>
I unbutton her jeans, tug them down, and she slips out of her heels, holding on to me for balance as she works her way out of her pants. I lift her top over her head, taking a moment to admire the beautiful woman Spencer has grown into. She’s thickened up in all the right places, no longer a waif of a girl.
“Put the heels back on,” I rasp, admiring her long legs, and she does. “Goddamn, you are the sexiest woman I have ever seen, Spencer LeBlanc.”
She smiles, slipping her hands under my shirt, allowing her fingers to trace the muscles of my stomach as she slowly raises it higher.
Reaching over my shoulders, behind my back, I grab my shirt and pull it over my head, tossing it to the counter. She fumbles with the belt and button on my jeans, growing impatient as she jerks them down past my hips.
My cock springs free, and she gasps audibly. I’m rock hard already. Her soft fingers are drawn to me like a magnet. Spencer starts off slowly running a finger from base to tip and then testing the size in her hand. “I need you,” she pleads almost desperately.
“You can have all you want, baby girl.” I bend down to retrieve my wallet from the jeans that are now pooled around my ankles and grab a condom. “Put your hands on the sink and bend over.”
She does as I instruct. Her ass on full display. Her hungry blue eyes staring right into mine through the mirror as I roll the condom onto my throbbing dick. She licks her lips.
I place the head of my shaft at her entrance. But before pushing inside, and because I am a bit of a dick, I have to ask, “You aren’t just using me for my sperm, are you, Princess?” I let my hand rest on her flat stomach. “Ready for number four?” I goad.
Her eyes flame. “I’d rather pull my twat hairs out with tweezers than procreate with you.”
“Ouch.”
“Now get on with it before I remember I’m still mad at you.”
Such a fucking lady. And I almost lose it. Almost. “Well, all right, then,” I say, trying not to laugh, before pushing inside of the woman who always should have been mine.
Spencer
Did that just happen?
The softening dick in my hoo-hah tells me that indeed it did. The throbbing between my legs says that I want it to happen again...
Shit. I’m so fucked—literally, figuratively, in all ways.
My head and my heart are raging a shitstorm of a battle and I’m too buzzed to try and make sense of it right now. All I want is for this man to make my body feel this way every day—every minute of the rest of my life. And it’s the one thing I know that I can never have.
I will not cry. I will not cry.
“You all right, Spence?” he purrs into my ear, and like a kitten, I nuzzle the side of my face into his.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. Because, what just happened?
He kisses the side of my face. “We should get dressed. Someone’s been knocking on the door.”
Oh shit.
I just had sex with my high school boyfriend, after spending maybe a total of three hours with him, in the bathroom of a bar...and now I’m going to do the walk of shame in front of half the town on my first day back.
Coop notices the panic in my face as he rights my thong and passes me my jeans. “Fuck ’em, Spence. Who are they, anyway?”
I know he’s right. I don’t know why I even care. Maybe it isn’t their judgment I’m worried about but my own. “We shouldn’t have—”
Coop spins me around to face him. “Don’t.” His eyes plead with mine. “Please don’t discount what just happened here, Spence. I know we aren’t together. But, we are two consenting adults, and we both wanted...no, needed. We needed this. Don’t turn it into something dirty.”
I glance around the single-stall restroom, taking in the piss on the floor and the horrendous smell, and I can’t help the giggle that escapes. Surely he has to see the hilarity in that statement.
Coop’s eyes dart around the room, and he huffs out a laugh. “You know what I mean.”
Suddenly, a fist starts pounding on the door. “All right, you two. I need to fucking piss like a goddamned racehorse. Come out with your pants up!” Fucking Josie. “No, wait! Cooper, you can keep yours down if you’d like.”
Cooper’s eyes grow wide as saucers as we both burst into a fit of laughter while scrambling to get back into our clothes.
“Coming,” I yell out as I tug on my jeans.
“Yeah, you did,” he whispers, and a blush works its way from my cheeks to my neck.
“T.M.I., lover girl. Hurry up!” Bang. Bang. Bang.
I stand directly behind Cooper, trying to hide as he twists the deadbolt and the door flies open. Josie rushes in, cursing us to hell and back, but neither of us pays her any mind. We walk right through the bar, ignoring all the knowing smiles and judging eyes, and make a beeline for the parking lot.
“Ride with me?” Coop asks as he pries the keys to his truck from the pocket of his tight jeans.
I take a moment to appraise him being that I had been too upset earlier at the conversation I’d walked in on to really drink him in the way a beautiful man like Cooper deserves. His brown hair is a wreck from the sex we just had...and it’s utterly delicious. His deep brown eyes are thick with emotion—with hunger and love? Maybe? He can’t possibly still love me after all these years. It doesn’t even matter...Moving along, I take in the way his muscles bulge against the fabric of his charcoal V-neck and how just the very front is tucked right behind the buckle of his belt, almost begging me to look at the bulge in his pants. The bulge that still has my sex clenching. Did the temperature just go up twenty degrees?
“Spence?” Coop chuckles.
I snap out of my daze, lifting my face to meet his. “Huh? Yeah?”
He rolls his bottom lip through his teeth with a smirk. “My eyes are up here,” he says as he points with his first two fingers at his sockets.
Busted.
“Just checkin’ out the, umm.” I gulp as his dick literally jumps in his jeans. I rub my eyes with my fingers. Am I seeing things? I can’t be that fucking drunk. I only had four of my ten drinks. Note to self: Coop still owes me drinks.
“Yes?” he taunts, giving me a knowing smile.
“The merchandise.”
“What merchandise?” he asks, and I swear to baby Jesus it jumps again.
“Do that again.”
“Do what again?” Fuck that fucking smirk right off his damned perfect face.
I tilt my head to the side, lifting my brows. “You know what I’m talking about. Make it jump.”
He snorts out a laugh. “Make what jump, Princess?”
I let out an exaggerated sigh. “Your...thing...” I wave my hand over the general area of his crotch.
Coop’s brows lift. “My...thing? Is that what they teach you to call it in sex therapy school? ’Cause I’ve got to say, baby, you aren’t sounding very professional at the moment.”
“Ugh,” I growl. “Just forget it. I’m going home.” I start to fish my keys from my purse as I turn toward my truck and instantly his hands are on my waist, spinning me around ’til his body is flattening my back against the passenger door of his truck. He’s breathing heavily against my neck, and suddenly I’m out of breath. It’s just gone, along with every ounce of common sense I used to possess.
His tongue traces a path from my shoulder to my ear, and I think if he asked, I’d give him round two right here in the damned parking lot.
“I was just messing with you, Spence. Didn’t mean to piss you off again,” he says, sounding sincere.
Was I mad? I can’t remember. My heart is beating so hard. So fast. It scares me. The depth of what I still feel for this man scares the shit out of me. “I need...I need to go home, Coop.” My eyes well up, and I have a sudden urge to cry.
He nods, trailing the side of his hand along my face. “Let me drive you? We can pick up your car tomorrow.”
I think I’m more drunk on him than the alcohol, but in either case, in my current c
ondition, I probably should not be driving. “Okay.”
His smile is flat as he grips my chin with his thumb and forefinger, placing a whisper soft kiss on the tip of my nose. With both hands, he pushes off the truck, lifting his body away from mine, and leaving me feeling empty, alone, and so confused.
I hear the sound of the lock clicking as he rounds the truck to his side. I pull the door open and climb into his truck, breathing in the scent of Coop’s cologne and leather.
Riding through town beside Coop again is surreal. This truck is different. We are different, yet in my heart, nothing’s changed. It knows this boy, these back roads, and draws comfort from the familiar cadence that only Cooper James has ever evoked.
The five-minute drive home is made in complete silence, although I feel like we’ve said so much.
As he shifts his truck into park in the very spot where he broke my heart all those years ago, I feel a sense of dread. I reach for the handle and turn to leave when his hand darts out, gripping my wrist. Déjà vu.
“Spence?” His voice is clogged with emotion. His eyes reflecting the same hurt and confusion I feel deep in my chest.
“Yeah?”
“You didn’t wait...I-I thought you’d wait.” His eyes are rimmed in tears.
“No,” I choke out, shaking my head. The fucking nerve. “I wasn’t your toy to play with and then put on a shelf for another day when you were ready to play with her again. You don’t get to blame me, Cooper,” I grit out as a tear slips down my cheek. “This...” I gesture between the two of us as tears flood from my eyes. “You alone are responsible.”
“Well, you got your revenge, didn’t you?” he sneers. His eyes drift over to Momma’s house where my babies lie asleep.
I gasp, shocked that he would go there. “Let me make one thing crystal fucking clear to you right now. My children were not revenge, and my having them had not one Goddamned thing to do with you—”
“No?” Cooper shakes his head in disbelief.
I yank my wrist from his grip. “No, and if you so much as look at them the wrong way, this friendship is over.”
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