Volume Six
Chautona Havig
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Copyright 2013 Chautona Havig
Kindle Edition
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Chautona Havig lives in a small, remote town in California’s Mojave Desert with her husband and eight of her nine children. When not writing, she enjoys paper crafting, sewing, and trying to get the rest of her children educated so that she can retire from home education.
Fonts: Times New Roman Alex Brush, Trajan Pro, Bickham Script Pro.
Cover photos: AVGT/istockphoto.com and gradyreese/istockphoto.com
Cover Art: Chautona Havig
Edited by: “Jillow” Editing
The events and people in this book, aside from the caveats on the next page, are purely fictional, and any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental and I’d love to meet them!
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All Scripture references are from the NASB. NASB passages are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE (registered), Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation
Dedication
To Faithful Readers
It still astounds me how consistently readers downloaded the free episodes each week on “Willow Wednesday.” So, I want to thank you. Thank you for reviews that made even me emotional. Thank you for emails encouraging me to keep going, telling me how much Willow has encouraged or inspired you. And, probably more than anything else, thank you for being so patient on Wednesdays following holidays when I forgot to change the price to free!
Finally, my apologies to those who had to wait months to be able to read it as a volume.
Table of Contents
Dedication
Chapter 179
Chapter 180
Chapter 181
Chapter 182
Chapter 183
Chapter 184
Chapter 185
Chapter 186
Chapter 187
Chapter 188
Chapter 189
Chapter 190
Chapter 191
Chapter 192
Chapter 193
Chapter 194
Chapter 195
Chapter 196
Chapter 197
Chapter 198
Chapter 199
Chapter 200
Chapter 201
Chapter 202
Chapter 203
Chapter 204
Chapter 205
Chapter 206
Chapter 207
Chapter 208
Chapter 209
Chapter 210
Chapter 211
Chapter 212
Chapter 213
Epilogue
Chapter One
Chapter 179
He watched from a window at The Grind. There she was—smug woman who had everything he’d been denied. Her fault. Look at her smile at her husband. Her sons have a father. Tell me, Mrs. Tesdall, will you wake up one morning and wonder where your husband is? Will your boys cry themselves to sleep at night, hiding it from their mother across the hall as she cries herself to sleep—again? Yeah. Marta says it’s not your fault, but it is. She was protecting you.
The officer kissed her. A passing car honked, causing the couple to laugh. The boys played with her hair as their father held them close and gave her another quick kiss. Your sons still have both their parents. I lost mine—first my father to the bullets of your stupid mother, and then Mom. Mom just faded to nothing. Is still nothing but an empty, drunk shell of the person she used to be.
Bile rose in his throat as Chad kissed the head of the baby—the one named after her—and took off in the other direction. It’s your fault.
Willow glanced back over her shoulder and then crossed the street. Wayne waved her over to him, offering a daisy to each of the boys. “Gotta give it to them while they still think flowers are neat.”
Her heart sank at the idea that her sons might not appreciate beauty. People kept saying things like that, and every time it discouraged her just a little more. “If I have anything to do with it, my boys will appreciate everything God made—the mud and frogs as well as the daisies and rainbows.”
“If anyone can do it, you can.” Wayne tickled Kari’s head with a daisy before handing it to Willow. “I love seeing you come through. No one loves my daisies more than you do.”
A customer appeared and asked Wayne’s advice on a funeral arrangement. Willow didn’t know the woman but sent a few quick words heavenward for his family. She knelt and murmured to the boys, “Did you hear that? That man lost someone precious to him. At times like this, we pray for them. So, that’s what I did. I asked Jesus to give that family comfort. Remember that when you hear that someone has died, okay?”
Four solemn eyes stared up at her before Lucas burst out in a fit of giggles. Willow shrugged and turned the stroller around. “Well, I tried. Seems like what Mother would have done. Maybe you’re too young.”
“You can’t ever be too young to learn to be tender with the feelings of those who have suffered loss.”
Her eyes snapped up and saw a man standing before her, hands in his pockets and a baseball cap pulled low on his forehead. “Thanks. I still don’t know what I’m doing with this parenting thing.”
“Isn’t that proof that you’re a good parent—when you realize you don’t know it all?”
Her laughter startled Kari. “Mother would have liked that. That’s what I do, you know. I just think, ‘What would Mother say here’ or ‘What would Mother have done?’ and then I do that.”
An awkward silence grew at an alarming rate until the man pushed back his cap and nodded. “Usually good thing to do—if your mother was the kind of mother you want to be.”
“She wasn’t perfect, by any means, and she certainly did things differently that I will in some areas,” Willow mused, “but when it comes to how she taught me—definitely.”
The man shuffled his feet. “Wish I had a mother like that. Mine was present in body but absent in spirit, if you know what I mean.” He gave her a wry smile. “I’m Jason, by the way.”
“Willow Tesdall.” She smiled up at him. “Nice to meet you. Are you new to Fairbury, or are you just one of the residents I don’t know yet?”
“Just checking out the town—trying to see if I’d like to live here or not.” Jason pointed at Chad as he rounded a corner. “That your husband?” He gave her an apologetic smile. “I saw you with him while I was in the coffee shop.”
“Yes. That’s Chad.” Willow waved, beckoning Chad their way. “I’ll introduce you.”
Something—just the merest flash—flickered in the man’s eyes before it disappeared as if it hadn’t been there at all. What it was, however, Willow couldn’t say. Jason nodded. “That’d be great. No one knows the area like the local cops.”
“Hey, Lass. Whatcha need?”
“Ch
ad, this is Jason… didn’t get your last name.”
“Ross.”
“Jason Ross. He’s looking around town, trying to decide if he’s interested in moving here.” She smiled up at him. “We were just talking about how parenting is a lot easier when you’re not one.”
“Let me guess. Mother came up.”
Jason laughed. “Why do I have a feeling that ‘Mother’ comes up a lot.”
“Well, she did have a pretty unique and ingenious mother,” Chad admitted. “Probably why she’s pretty much the perfect woman.”
“Pretty much! Hmph.” Willow winked at Jason. “I’m obviously slipping.”
Chad’s radio bleeped, sending him to a disturbance at the high school. “See you at home, Willow.” To Jason, he added. “Hope you enjoy your stay.”
“Want me to leave a sandwich for you at the station?” Willow called after him.
“Sure! Thanks.”
She pushed the stroller forward. “I’m off to get a sandwich and some soup. Have you eaten?”
“Just a muffin at the coffee shop—good, but not filling.”
Willow jerked her head, beckoning him. “C’mon. I’ll buy you a sandwich and let you know what I know Chad thinks of town.”
Willow passed Chad the salt and continued her running monologue of her day. “So, I told him about the shuttle to Rockland, the church, and the culture of the town. I think he might want to stay.”
Chad took a bite of his salad and mumbled, “You certainly were friendly.”
“He seemed so interested in everything about the town—even the farm. He asked if we give tours.”
“And you told him to come on out, of course.”
Her eyebrows drew together as Chad’s sour tone registered. “Should I not have? We have people out all the time—usually without notice.”
“You were just awfully friendly to a total stranger.”
“Something you’re always telling me to do.” She set down her fork and stared at him. “I’m confused, Chad. Are you really upset that I talked to him? You seemed fine with it when I introduced you.”
One long moment of silence followed as Chad picked at his salad—long enough that Willow expected to hear Luke’s voice rather than her husband. After what seemed several minutes passed, he dropped his fork, leaning back in his chair with his thumbs hooked in his pockets. “No… not really. Something didn’t sit right with me, but I can’t say what it is. It’s bugging me and I’m taking that out on you.” He nudged her foot. “Sorry.”
“’s okay. What do you think it was?”
“Dunno.” Chad grabbed his fork again. “Wish I knew. It wasn’t sudden—it was more… approachful? That’s not the right word. It just kept creeping over me the more we talked—bugged me all afternoon.”
“Weird. Something like that happened when we were talking. I thought I saw something but then it was gone and then I couldn’t imagine what I’d said or seen. I figured it was all in my head.”
Before Chad could respond, their daughter’s hungry snorts and sniffles erupted from the Moses basket on the floor beside her. Without hesitating, Willow scooped up the baby, holding her close as she fumbled with her shirt. As the baby began nursing, her mind returned to Jason Ross and his expressions.
Distaste. That’s what she’d seen in Jason’s eyes. The moment she thought it, Willow tossed the idea aside. Ridiculous. Her hand smoothed Kari’s hair as she murmured, “He probably smelled your nasty diaper right about then.”
“What’d you say?” Chad ran his thumb across the baby’s cheek.
“I think what I saw was distaste in Jason’s eyes—and then realized that Kari did have a messy diaper when we got into The Deli. Then I figured it was probably just that.”
“Except that you can’t smell her diapers yet.”
“You can’t. I can.” Willow stared at her plate and then at her daughter. “Maybe it was all in my head.”
Something niggled at her—as if warning her of something. Her mind began separating the conversation into piles as she tried to sort the culprit. Chad spoke, shattering her thoughts in one fell swoop. “I still can’t believe you took another man out to lunch—with me right there!”
The temptation to scream almost overtook her, but the sight of Kari snoozing through the last few seconds of nursing helped her regain control. “Um…” She glared at him. “Would you have preferred that I do that when you’re not around?”
“I’d prefer,” Chad muttered, “not to wonder who my wife will be fraternizing with next.”
“Fraternizing. Seriously, Chad? Fraternizing? What kind of garbage is that?”
“It’s me saying that it doesn’t look right for a married woman to be having lunch with another man.”
She laughed. Kari startled, sniffling before latching on and nursing away contentedly again. “You’re kidding, right? I could offer to buy Joe a sandwich and you wouldn’t think twice. I have bought one for Brad and sat with him and ate mine too, if you’ll remember. Your words that time were, ‘You did good, lass. He needs to feel more like a part of the community.’”
“But he’s my coworker—one of the guys! He’s not a strange man—”
“So if a homeless man walked up and asked me for food, I shouldn’t buy him a sandwich? I shouldn’t sit with him and make sure he doesn’t need help in some way?” Without saying a word, Willow dared Chad to argue.
“It’s not the same thing, and you know it.”
“This man is looking for a home. I met him on the street, introduced him to my husband—and he knew it—and had lunch with him with my kids in a very public place—”
“Exactly, Willow! There’s that little thing about ‘avoiding the appearance of evil…’”
“Which I did by keeping it all very public and within the eyeshot of my husband.”
“It’s not—”
She stood, adjusting her shirt as she did, and interrupted him. “We won’t agree, Chad. Are you pulling rank on this? Is this so very important to you that I have to become someone I’m not to appease some strange ego thing that I can’t comprehend?”
“It’s not ego—”
“Then chalk this up to another one of those ‘quirky Willowisms’ and be done with it. I stepped out of my life and comfort zone by asking a stranger to lunch and tried to help him get to know the area. I did this because you are always telling me I’m too aloof. If you are going to lay down the law, then I need a very defined law, because I’m not going to get bawled out for daring to try to do what you’ve asked me to do again.”
Before she lost her patience again, Willow stood, grabbed the Moses basket, and carried it upstairs. A quick check told her Kari’s diaper was still dry, so she laid the baby down and shut the door behind her. With her hands washed and a glance at the sleeping boys, she jogged back downstairs. “I’m going to run over to Becca’s. I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Lass…”
Her hand rested on the doorknob as she waited for him to continue. When he didn’t Willow stepped closer. “Chad?”
“I think maybe this is one of those weird things that neither of us is wrong—but our experience puts us on opposite sides of a good coin.”
“That makes no sense.” She turned the knob, eager to leave before she said something that would damage their relationship.
“I know it doesn’t, but I see what you’re saying. I do. I just don’t agree with you. No one I know would think it’s okay for a married woman to ask another man to lunch. You—”
“Got mixed signals from my husband when he encouraged it in one case and discourages it when it’s not convenient.”
“I’m trying to meet in the middle here. I see why it’s confusing to you, but it doesn’t change my opinion. You can’t understand my opinion, but I hope you can see that it bothers me and take that into consideration in the future.”
Ice entered her voice before she could stop herself. “I’ll be sure to get your approval before I show any friendliness to any
one when away from my own home. You won’t be embarrassed by your wife again, I assure you.”
“Willow!”
But she stepped through the door and shut it firmly behind her before he could say anything else. Though Willow half-expected Chad to follow, she prayed he wouldn’t. The whole thing seemed so preposterous, that Willow couldn’t imagine saying another word without blasting him with every rebuke he’d ever given her about her unwillingness to insert herself in the lives of others and with every praise he’d given her after doing that very thing—with men.
“He’s so inconsistent, Lord. I don’t understand. If he hadn’t encouraged me to sit with the chief or Brad, I would still think it’s silly, but I wouldn’t think he was unreasonable. It would just be another one of those things I don’t get. But he can’t have it both ways.”
Chapter 180
The heat in the kitchen sent rivulets of perspiration down Willow’s temples. While Becca worked on canning the tomatoes in the summer kitchen, Willow tried to keep her boys out from underfoot as she canned jar after jar of apple pie filling and applesauce. Still, buckets of apples filled the floor of the pantry, lined the walls of the kitchen, and she was afraid to ask if there were more in the barn.
Liam wrapped his arms around her leg, staring up at her with wide adoring eyes. “Son, this idea of Becca and I dividing and conquering so we get some of both might have been a bad one.”
A grin split the boy’s face. “Mama eat.”
“No, Mama is cooking. See… it’s hot in here because I’m making—” The timer rattled on the counter. “—food. Go find your ball. I’ll roll it.”
Both boys raced to find the ball—and likely fight over it—while Willow rushed to take the jars out before they returned. The next hour followed the same flow. The boys wanted her attention. She tried to give it while working through her usual process, but it took three times longer to do half the work—or so it seemed.
Still, when Kari awoke, demanding her lunch, jars of freshly canned quarts of apples filled the back row of the apple shelf. The pantry was not as full as it usually was by that time, but with Becca’s tomatoes, it would look less pathetic. At least the cherry and berries shelves were full. Lucas tugged her hand toward where the baby lay fussing and wailing for her. “Baby cry! Baby!” His “cry” sounded more like “kai,” but the lad’s distress at her apparently ambivalence to Kari’s needs distracted her.
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