“Damn straight.”
Swinging her legs out, she leaped down. Dandelion seeds puffed up into the air at her landing, a few snagging in all that long black hair. I jumped down and landed beside her. My insubstantial mass barely disturbed the blades of grass I landed on. Without a word between us, we started to walk back toward the barn.
After a few steps, she spoke. “We should keep in touch more than just about the newly bitten.”
“I agree. If the lightning thing happens to you again, will you let me know?”
“Yeah, definitely. If I can attract it and you can channel it, I think that means we’re meant to work together to do something with it.” Her face crinkled up again and she shook her head. “I just wish I knew what. And I can’t see what it has to do with the newly bitten.”
“Me neither. But maybe together we can figure it out.”
“We can, we will.”
Instead of going through the barn, we skirted around it. She didn’t seem to want to step inside it any more than I did. At the corner stood Ty and Vidar, bodies tense as if they were ready to sprint toward us at a sign of conflict. Sonya and I exchanged a look and a smile.
She rolled her eyes at Ty as she looped her arm through his. “I told you we’d be fine.”
Ty’s gaze softened when he looked down at her. “Yes, well, I am glad to see there is no blood.”
Sonya slapped his chest. “Always worrying, this one.”
A small flare of jealousy moved through me. Not for her relationship with Ty. Sure, the guy was smoking hot, if you were into the modern-day Viking look. But me, I preferred tall, dark, and handsome, emphasis on the dark. The jealousy was for the relationship itself. Elí and I didn’t have a relationship, unless you counted a religious devotee and the object of his devotion.
“One more thing,” I said. “We ran into a berserkr—a werebear, I guess you’d call him. He said others were concerned about us gathering others to us.”
“Why would they care about that?” Sonya asked.
Ty went tense. “Because they are afraid you will bring the wolves together and tip the balance, making the wolves more powerful than the other shifter races.”
He and Vidar exchanged a look. “Exactly. Which means we have to be careful. They consider us a threat,” Vidar said.
Ty nodded. “We will be careful. You as well. Let us know if you hear anything else. We will do the same. And, Vidar…” Ty paused and gripped his shoulder. “Be careful.”
Vidar gripped Ty’s shoulder in return. “You too, my friend.”
I nodded to Sonya. “Thanks for talking with me. We’ll keep in touch.”
“Definitely,” she agreed.
Ty reached out a hand to Vidar and they grasped forearms. “Good to see you, Vidar. I hope we can continue to meet under good circumstances,” he said.
“As do I. Take care, Ty.”
Arm in arm, Ty and Sonya disappeared into the shadows of the barn. Vidar relaxed when I stepped to his side. His eyes filled with a thousand questions I knew would pour out of him the moment we got in the truck. Right now I wouldn’t be able to answer them. Not because I didn’t want to tell Vidar, but because I didn’t know. My gaze worked its way up his towering, hard body. The brown T-shirt proclaiming #TeamThor in gold lettering made me smile. Gods, I loved how he embraced his inner nerd and didn’t care what anyone thought about it. No matter how much I told myself not to, I enjoyed the view. The concern in his hazel eyes almost broke down some of the carefully placed bricks in the wall I kept around myself. But not quite.
“I’m going to ride my bike for a few miles. I need some time to think,” I said.
“I’m still a good listener. You can bounce stuff off me,” he said.
I started for the truck, and he turned to walk at my side. “Yeah, I know, but I don’t need to talk, just think. We’ll meet up in a few miles. Nothing to worry about.”
Not giving him a chance to respond, I dropped the tailgate when we reached the truck. I jumped in and started undoing the straps that held my bike down. Just smelling the metal made me long to be in the seat. It wasn’t as good as an LS-218, the fastest electric bike on the market. But a girl had to go with what she could afford. And considering I lived on ramen noodles and meat from the discounted counter, I was lucky to have the BMW. As it was, I’d bought it in boxes from an old lady in Billings whose husband had died.
Part of me wanted to apologize to Vidar for brushing him off, but a bigger part wanted to scream at him. Coming this close to reaping and having to walk away took its toll. With each moment fury built inside, rising up until it felt like it would block my throat. In the barn a few yards away hid a man who had beat a woman to death. He deserved to die. I wanted him to die, preferably by my claws. That desire made me sick with self-loathing.
My breathing sped up, sweeping my heart rate along with it. I clenched my fists tight so I was forced to make my claws retract—or end up cutting myself. The tang of blood on the air revealed my failure.
“Are you okay?” Vidar asked.
“No, I mean, yes, I will be. I have to process.”
I could see an argument building in his eyes, and I knew if I didn’t shut him down quick this could turn ugly.
“I just need to be alone for a bit, to think,” I said with far more force.
For a moment his face fell into such a look of despair that I wanted to take my words back and get in the truck with him. The look disappeared in a flash, though, leaving him unreadable as stone. I hardened the shell around my heart.
“Whatever you need,” he said in a flat tone.
When I freed the last strap he grabbed hold of my bike. I almost told him I could get it, but I stopped the words before they could form. Distance I could handle, but hurting him any more than necessary, I couldn’t. I leaped out of the truck. He picked up my four-hundred-and-fifty pound motorcycle by the frame, lifted it over the bed rails of the truck, and set it on the ground. Admittedly, I couldn’t have done it quite that well.
“Thank you,” I said as I took hold of the handlebars.
He nodded and returned to the cab of the truck. Okay, maybe I’d been a little hard on him, but it was better than taking my anger out on him. The newly bitten’s energy signature dragged my gaze back to the barn. That taint on his energy, like a bad spot on fruit, called out to me. My hands shook a little with the effort of holding back as I dug my keys out of my cargo shorts and straddled the bike. Calm radiated out from the bike into me. The edge of my anger wore down. Guilt tried to rear up and take its place. Starting the bike quenched that.
The anticipation of the wind against me and the white lines zipping by made everything else fade. Vidar returned with my helmet, jacket, and boots in hand. He stared at the patch on the back of my gray Cordura jacket for a long moment before handing it over. Woven in metallic blue thread was a wolf’s head formed of knotted lines. Around that were two circles that held within the Norse elder futhark runes, making it look a bit like a wheel. Above it was a rocker with the initials AVV, below it, another rocker that said Montana. I finally had to tug the jacket from his hands.
“You’re a member of the American Viking Varúlfur?” he asked in a shocked tone.
No judgment clouded his eyes, surprisingly.
“Yes.”
“But you said you didn’t choose a pack. An umbrella pack is still a pack.”
I shook my head. “It isn’t the same. They have no alpha, and they have members from many different packs. They’re more of a republic than a monarchy. I like that about them.”
His eyes widened and he nodded as if impressed.
I slid my jacket and boots on. One moment of silence stretched into several that quickly became uncomfortable. On top of the anger building in me, a deep concern rose. It helped clear my mind a little.
“I have Bluetooth in my helmet so I can call you if I need to,” I said.
His shoulders relaxed. “There’s a bar just off the highway after you cross the state line into I
daho. I’ll meet you there,” he said.
It wasn’t a suggestion or a question, but the decisive words of a man who had the power of an alpha behind him. The woman and wolf in me thrilled at that. Hel, even the reaper in me thrilled at the idea that he might be strong enough to stand beside me. But I couldn’t indulge in thoughts like that. I put my helmet on. Behind the mirrored face shield I breathed easier.
Before those guarded, gorgeous hazel eyes of his could change my mind, I pulled the throttle back. The grass and gravel forced me to go slower than I wanted. At first pulling away from the barn felt like trying to pull a tooth that didn’t want to let go. It didn’t hurt exactly, but it felt so wrong that I just wanted it to stop. I had to remind myself that the newly bitten had shifted back to human on his own. He had control and he wanted to make up for what he did. Newly bitten, not condemned.
The pressure in my chest started to ease, but I think it was more from the distance than my thoughts. When my front wheel touched the paved road, that pressure gave way completely. I could think past the anger again. I opened up the throttle and left the newly bitten—and the desire to kill—behind.
Unfortunately, I also left everything I had ever wanted in life standing at that truck as well.
Chapter Nine
Vidar
Pain rooted me to the spot. She did not need me, whether to talk, vent, or just be near. She needed to be alone, probably so she could call Elí. That reverberated through me until I could feel it all the way down into my bones. Damn the Order for not letting me talk to her. Damn them and their vow of celibacy or I would have kissed her already. Damn them straight to Helheimr.
Watching the cloud of dust her motorcycle kicked up into the hot July air felt like watching everything I’d ever wanted go up in smoke. No. Blame and anger wouldn’t get her back. I couldn’t give up. I wouldn’t give up. Whether she knew it or not, she needed me. I jumped in the truck and cranked the motor to life. Gravel spun as I tore down the road after her. The truck started to bounce in and out of the ruts so badly that I was forced to slow down after only a few yards. By the time I reached the paved road, Ayra was long gone.
But I knew which way she went. I could feel her pulling at me like my true north. Turning away from the setting sun, I followed as fast as I dared. If I got pulled over, it would only make me later. Chances were she wouldn’t get pulled over. I wouldn’t get that lucky. I pushed my speed as fast as I dared, thankful I’d gotten more truck than I needed. The pull of her power remained within my range and that was all that mattered. It would be better if she didn’t see my truck in her rearview.
In less than half an hour, the sun sank below the horizon, casting the landscape into deep shadows that forced me to turn on the headlights. Already Ayra’s scent began to fade from the interior of the truck. That bothered me on a deeper level than I wanted to explore. If I thought too much about that, I’d start to press harder on the pedal. The tall evergreens flanking the road made me a bit nostalgic for the days when Ayra and I used to run through the forest near Hemlock Hollow as kids. I missed those careless days so much. Worse, I had missed the opportunity for so many more when I’d left. If she didn’t choose me as her verndari, it was all for nothing.
My mind wouldn’t shut off as I drove. I kept going over everything I should and shouldn’t have done, every bad decision I’d made. All I’d ever wanted to do was make this life that she didn’t get to choose easier for her. And all I seemed to be doing was making it worse. Now she was engaged to someone else and it was starting to look like I might not be able to win her back. My distraction was so complete that I didn’t see the huge shape in the middle of the road until I was almost on top of it. Dark as it was, I thought it was a cow at first. Not uncommon in Montana.
But cows didn’t generally move much when you came across them. Dang things would stand right in the middle of the road and stare you down as you passed them by. And I’d never seen one come straight at a vehicle like this one did. At the last moment, I realized that was because this wasn’t a cow. My varúlfur night vision kicked in and revealed a huge brown bear leaping toward the hood of my truck. Metal crunched and squealed as it landed right in the middle, struck the windshield hard enough to spider web the entire thing, and then went flying over.
The damnable ABS system fouled up my instinctual attempt to pump the brakes. Somehow I still managed to keep the truck under control and bring it to a rolling stop. Where, I had no idea since I couldn’t see out of the windshield. Not wanting to be at a disadvantage inside the cab, I flung the door open and jumped out. The soft white glow of my headlights shone off a tree trunk not ten feet from the bumper. The thick, musky scent of bear hung heavy in the air. My power stirred, making the skin along the back of my neck prickle.
Four dents on the hood the size of massive paws made me think the damn thing had jumped on my hood rather than rolled up there like it would have if I’d hit it. Come to think of it, the creature hadn’t looked fearful like an animal about to meet a ton of hard metal usually did. It had looked… purposeful, like it had meant to run right at me. My mind flashed back to the cabin, to the berserkr.
Turning slowly, I scanned the area with my wolf eyes. The iron tang of blood on the air was weak, as if the bear was barely wounded. The smell came from the back of the truck on the passenger side. As I crept in that direction, I pulled my T-shirt off and tossed it in the open driver’s door. No sense in ruining one of my favorite shirts. The press of power came from the trees just behind the tailgate. Definitely not a regular bear.
The strange grunting, sniffling sounds only a bear could make came from the nearby trees. Boughs rustled, sending the scent of pine wafting even stronger into the air. From out of the darkness lumbered a huge shape that looked me in the eye even though it was on four legs. My power flared even more. I realized it looked so big partly because it was on a slight hill. Still, it was huge.
Instead of coming toward me, it went for the passenger door of my truck. The truck rocked as it rose up, putting its front paws on the door and its head inside.
“Hey, Yogi, get out of my truck,” I yelled.
Loud sniffing noises carried to me as it shoved its head farther into the cab. The desire to go all green superhero on the intruder made my skin tingle with the beginnings of the shift. Good as I was, I’d never fought a berserkr and I didn’t know how it would go down. Tired of being ignored, I leaped over the bed of the truck, landing just behind the berserkr. I grabbed it by the mound of fat and hair between its shoulders and yanked it away from my truck. The thing had to weigh close to four hundred pounds. Air expelled from it in a loud grunt as it hit the bank several feet back. Roaring, it rose on its hind legs.
“I warned you to get out of my truck.”
Huge paws clawing at the air, he roared in answer. My fangs extended. A growl began to build in my chest.
“Why don’t you shift back so we can discuss this like civilized people? I’m going to need your insurance information,” I suggested, allowing just the hint of a smile through, showing my fangs.
The berserkr plunged onto all fours hard enough that I swear the ground shook, though that could have just been power rolling off him. Teeth bared, growl tearing between them, I held my clawed hands out, ready to meet him. He barreled toward me. When I could smell his breath and feel the brush of his coarse fur, I stepped aside. He slammed head first into the tree that had been behind me hard enough to make sharp pine needles rain down on us. I thrust a front kick into his side that blew the air out of his dazed body.
“How about now, Yogi? You want to shift back and talk?” I offered once again.
A paw swiped at me fast enough to catch the edge of my shorts. Claws snagged in the material, but thankfully missed my flesh. “Thor’s balls! I was trying to avoid ruining my clothes, you bastard!”
Shaking his head, he stumbled toward me. Another weak swipe came at me on my right, this one missing by a mile. When I leaned back out of the way, he flung himse
lf on me. I grabbed him by the fur between his front legs, placed my feet against his chest as I fell, and rolled us down the embankment. At the end of the roll I kicked out with all my strength. The berserkr went flying into the road.
I chased him down as he rolled to a stop. While I moved I shifted into hybrid form; the between stage of wolf and man. Most varúlfur couldn’t do it and I was counting on the fact that the berserkr wouldn’t expect it. My body sprouted long fur, my head turned into that of a wolf—mostly—and claws extended from my fingers and toes. The berserkr’s eyes widened until they looked like marbles about to pop from his head. He started to back up.
Before he could get very far, I grabbed him by the hair of one shoulder. I gripped until I felt my claws bite into flesh. Growling and snapping, I pulled him to me.
“Shift,” I commanded in what could barely be called speech.
He resisted, gaining a touch of my respect. I let my power roll over him in a biting, stinging, burning flood. It pulled at his with a merciless magnetism. Another trick most couldn’t do. This one was reserved for alphas. I’d been able to do it since the year I came through the verða.
With a whimper, he shuddered in my grasp. A moment later his body flowed into that of a man. Left with no loose skin or fur to grasp, I adjusted my grip to encircle his throat. His hands wrapped around my wrist, sinking deep into the black fur. No matter how hard he pulled, he couldn’t loosen my grip. I shifted back to a man as well because speaking while in hybrid form was nearly as hard as in wolf form.
“Why did you attack me?” I demanded.
“What are you? I thought the woman was the reaper, but you…” Respect tinged the awe in his tone.
“I’m one of the Order of the Verndari. Ayra is the reaper. And trust me, she can do much worse than just shift into a hybrid.”
Wide, wild eyes darted every which way so fast it made me dizzy just watching him. Finally, his gaze settled on me. “Where is she?”
I squeezed a little harder. “I just told you she’s scarier than I am. Do you really want an introduction?”
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