“Jon, we’ve got positive ID on the people coming out of the shuttle,” said Lyn. “One of them is the pirate that went after your sister.”
“Alicia, what have you done?” repeated Jon.
“Did you think I was going to stay marooned here? I called for a ride. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving. But one final performance before I go. Tell George I said bye.”
As Alicia turned to leave, Lyn decided that enough was enough. Four years of mixed martial arts fighting lessons should slow this bitch down, she thought. She was in mid-stride when Alicia executed a perfect leg sweep that knocked her on her butt.
“Don’t even think about it,” Alicia said as Lyn moved into a crouch and prepared to launch herself back at Alicia. “The only reason you’re still conscious is because you’re a friend of Jon’s.”
“Time for plan B?” Lyn asked Jon as she watched Alicia leave the room.
“I think they beat us to it,” said Jon as he looked out the window. The pirate crew had reached the beach house and was stunning anyone in their way.
“Let’s get back to the car,” said Jon. They met Simon charging through the grounds as they were leaving. The last thing they heard as they left was the show’s commentator’s voice describing the skirmish.
“Princess Alicia has now joined forces with what I can only assume are space aliens that have invaded the beach house. She’s approaching Carrie and you know these two never got along so it will be interesting to see what transpires here. And there they are, the energy beams that Alicia told us about! And who would have thought it possible, but they’re blasting through her shirt and are coming out of her nipples. Admit it folks, that’s where we all secretly thought they’d come out of…”
20.
“Let me get this straight. You went to the coordinates, followed the instructions, found the rock with the signaling beacon, but when you opened it up, it was empty.”
“Right, boss,” said Hal, not very happy to be the bearer of bad news.
“Doesn’t surprise me,” said Macnair. “I never thought there was any Nurridium to begin with. Now you go.”
“While we were out,” began Monti, “it seemed an intruder breached my security, gained entrance to the compound, stunned the guards and released the prisoners. Then they stunned a few more guards, made it to their ship and left orbit.”
“They probably dropped their best guy outside your gates before landing and had that stupid Nurridium story at the ready, just in case things didn’t work out. Well, Monti, if I remember correctly we had a bet on the Nurridium story and it seems I won.”
“That’s true,” said Monti. “I’ll make payment right away.”
“You’ll make payment right away for ten times the amount to compensate me for the loss of Jon’s sister and my wasted time.”
“But I,” started Monti and then thought better of it, thinking about how attached he was to his arms. “Of course, that’s only fair.”
Macnair and his goons left soon after that and Monti sat down behind his desk, reliving the day’s events. Most of it was recorded by his security system, but other parts, like the prisoners’ escape, were missing which meant whoever was responsible had some very good tricks of their own. Monti was a thorough man and replayed it time and again, not wanting to miss the smallest detail.
Once he was sure there was nothing else to learn by reviewing past events, he decided it was time to see what the future held. It was time to see who he had trapped in his teleport system.
“Okay, let me get this straight. Instead of putting the Nurridium in the rock like I ordered you to, you hid it in a locker?”
“Right. Locker 8-12.”
“And it’s there now.”
“I suppose so.”
“And if that Tomas guy didn’t come to our rescue, those goons would have come back empty handed and cut off our arms,” said Talia, whacking Holt on the back of the head.
“Hey,” yelled Holt now fending off head slaps from Talia and Franco. “We still had the Nurridium. I would have said something before he cut anything off of anybody. All I did was buy us more time and it worked out real good.”
“Guys like that don’t like to be jerked around,” said Talia. “They would have cut something off of somebody just for the extra trouble even if they got the Nurridium.”
“Well, they didn’t and we got away with it so I guess I outsmarted them,” said Holt.
“Yeah, well, they don’t like to be outsmarted either,” said Talia. “We need to lie low for an extended period. Especially you, Ellie. Any way you can get in touch with your brother?”
“We’ve got an anonymous mail box set up where we can leave messages for each other, but I haven’t checked it since we went silent. I’ll have to access the grid to get to it and if someone is watching it could give our position away or make us the target for some type of tracking worm.”
“A small dose of paranoia is healthy, but let’s not get carried away here,” said Franco. “We’ll scramble the ships signal so they’ll think we’re someone else and we’ll just be another minuscule bit of traffic on an immense network. People check their messages all the time and they can’t monitor all of them and even if they could, we’d be five parsecs away before they figured anything out. I say chance it.”
“Hey, I’m thinking about you guys,” said Ellie. “Remember, they want me alive, but I don’t think they give a rat’s ass about the rest of you.”
“We appreciate your concern,” began Talia, “but make the call.”
Jon, Simon and Lyn had made the drive back down the coast and were sitting in Simon’s living room. They had discussed the events at the beach house the entire ride home. Jon was still surprised at the turn of events.
“She said she had used the TV broadcasting equipment to make contact with her comrades. That is not a simple thing to do. I really underestimated that girl.”
“My dad told me there are only two times when a man should underestimate a woman,” said Simon.
“And when is that?” asked Lyn.
“When discussing their age and weight, of course.”
“Sage advice,” remarked Jon and then turned his head a bit like he was listening to a voice from inside his skull, which he was. “My sister just accessed our mailbox and left a reply.”
“What was your message?” asked Lyn.
“I asked her how the weather was.”
“And what was her reply?” asked Simon.
“Foot.”
“Exactly what does that mean?” said Lyn.
“She’s in a relatively safe position and is going to be back on the grid in two hours with her teleport online. She’s going to remain like that for five minutes.”
“And we’re sure that’s her, that it’s not a trap?” said Lyn.
“Whoever it is knows all the required passwords and understands our little code. It’s either Ellie or someone got into her brain and picked it clean. No way to tell, but I’m sure it’s her. She just doesn’t get involved with the type of people that have the capability to get inside someone’s head like that.”
“Age and weight,” reminded Lyn.
“So what do we do next?” asked Simon.
“We? I’m sorry, my friends, but your fun ends here. I’ll go on alone and send Gilbert right back,” said Jon. “You don’t need to get involved with the rest of this affair.”
“What if Gilbert’s not there?” asked Lyn. “It’s my job to get him back here. I’m definitely going.”
“Well, you guys aren’t leaving me here,” said Simon. “I’m just as concerned about Gilbert as the rest of you. In fact, I’m probably the most concerned. You’ve only talked with him for thirty minutes,” he said to Jon. “And you’ve never even met him,” he said to Lyn.
“Fine, we all go,” said Jon. “We collect Gilbert straight away and then the three of you return right back to Earth.” Jon thought for a second before continuing. “I want to bring the secondary teleport b
ack online in case we need it at some point down the line, but I want to use your original teleport to get us back to the ICC and we can teleport to Ellie’s ship from there. We’ve got less than two hours so let’s get a move on.”
“I want to make one quick stop on the way to the lab. It should only take five minutes,” said Lyn.
After stopping for Lyn, they proceeded to the secondary teleport station. Simon reconnected the cabling while Jon reestablished communication with the ICC. When that was completed, they proceeded to the original lab. They entered the lab and stared in disbelief at a totally wrecked teleport station.
“What do you think happened,” asked Lyn.
“I think a couple of thugs smashed it with baseball bats,” said Simon. “Look, there are the bats. Gilbert and I don’t keep sports equipment here.”
“Do you or Gilbert even own any sports equipment?” asked Lyn.
“Of course.”
“Chess doesn’t count as a sport.”
“Then no.”
“This is Alicia’s doing,” said Jon. “She had someone come down here and smash it. She wanted to strand us here. Good thing she didn’t know about the backup station.” Jon scanned the wreckage for a few seconds longer. “Okay, back to the backup.”
They returned to the secondary lab and programmed the teleport to send them to the ICC.
“Why did you want to stop off here?” Lyn asked Jon after they arrived.
“I want to check up on our friend Agent Tomas. The ICC computer is keeping tabs on him. I don’t want to stumble over him later on.”
“What’s the old goat been up to?” asked Lyn. “Still struggling to remove that pole from his ass?”
“Not quite,” said Jon. “He went to pay a visit to a certain character and it doesn’t seem as though he’s left yet. He’s been there for much longer than I would expect necessary. I wonder if he’s in some type of bind.” Jon frowned as he said that last part.
“Well what do you know, I believe the dog has finally caught the rabbit,” Lyn commented.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Jon.
“Feeling a bit guilty or concerned about him, are you?” said Lyn.
“Well, yes, though I don’t know why. He’s just doing his job and I can’t be expected to watch out for him.”
“I am surrounded by socially and emotionally challenged geniuses,” muttered Lyn. “Look, add him to your list of things to do and you’ll feel better.”
“I suppose you’re right,” said Jon
“Sure,” said Lyn. ”Now let’s go have a nice visit with your sister.”
“Incoming signal, Captain.”
“Weapons ready,” said Ellie, then after everyone had their weapons pointed at the teleport station she continued, “Let it through.”
Jon, Simon and Lyn materialized, much to the relief of all watching.
“Hello, Ellie,” said Jon in a genuinely happy tone. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too, Jon.” Prior to his arrival, Ellie wasn’t sure if she was going to hug or punch her brother. She didn’t think she would have been able to hit her brother so she had prepped Talia for the task.
“You hit him, he’s your brother,” Talia had replied. “I don’t like to get in the middle of family squabbles.”
“Hey, you’re on the payroll to hit people and he’s people so hit him.”
Ellie glanced at Talia, made a barely noticeable head shake and then embraced her brother. “I’ve been worried about you, Jon.”
“Well, I’m always in some sort of trouble so that’s nothing new. Now tell me what's going on here? Having some problems with pirates? But before we get into that, this is Simon and Lyn. They’re friends of Gilbert and insisted on coming along.”
“Simon!” shouted Gilbert.
“Gilbert!” shouted Simon. The two friends exchanged a quick embrace.
“Simon and Lyn, this is my sister Ellie.”
“A pleasure,” said Simon.
“Nice to meet you,” said Lyn.
“Likewise,” said Ellie with a nod and then introduced Holt, Talia and Franco. “What’s in the bags?”
“My mother taught me never to show up uninvited and empty handed. Chips, salsa and tequila to eat and drink while we talk,” said Lyn.
“You, I like,” said Ellie. “The jury’s still out on you two,” she said as she passed Simon and Jon and led the way out of the teleport chamber and down the corridor to the galley.
“You’ll never believe everything that’s happened to me since I left Earth,” Gilbert said to Simon as they walked along. “First, I had to outsmart some intergalactic mob guys that invaded the ICC, then I got to work on this ship while we went to an asteroid mining camp, then we were attacked by pirates and then we almost got our brains sucked dry and our arms cut off!”
“I have a girlfriend,” said Simon as he leaned in towards his friend.
“Not Lyn?” said Gilbert in a lower voice. Simon nodded. “Dude, she’s smoking hot. What world did you pick her up on?”
“She’s from Earth.”
“So she knows…?”
“Yup, she knows I’m a geek and doesn’t care.”
“Wow, who would have thought, I’m traveling the universe, getting attacked by space pirates and you’ve got a hot girlfriend. Two equally improbable things by Earth standards, yet here we are.”
“Hey, Gil,” said Simon, “have you had a chance to figure out how the ship’s engines work?”
“I have developed a basic understanding of the physics involved.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense. Is it Star Wars or Star Trek?”
“A lot like Star Trek.”
“I knew it.”
“I don’t even want to know what they’re talking about back there,” Lyn commented to Jon. “I thought I was making progress, but it seems all my hard work evaporated in a matter of minutes. It must be a critical mass type deal, the more geeks you get together, the worse they are.”
Gilbert and Simon were discussing the fact that Star Wars and Star Trek, two of the most popular science fiction productions of the twentieth century, employed two different methods for traveling faster than the speed of light. Star Wars uses hyperspace, a different type of space that exists in the sci-fi universe where things can move faster than the speed of light. In the Star Trek universe, spaceships stay in regular space, but bend the rules of physics by warping space as it travels through it, allowing things to travel faster than the speed of light.
“So how do the engines work?” asked Simon.
“They create an event singularity that inverts the fabric of space-time while simultaneously converting extraordinary amounts of pseudo mass into pseudo energy and using that to propel the ship through a stream of pseudo space-time where velocity is only limited by the amount of energy you pour into it.”
“That’s pseudo ridiculous.”
“I know, but we either accept their physics or resign ourselves to the possibility that magic exists.”
“And there’s no hyperspace?” asked Simon.
“There is, but things actually move slower there.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Welcome to the universe. Did you meet Ellie the robot?”
“No, I haven’t met any robots. Where were there robots?”
“I’m in here,” said Ellie2 from inside Simon’s pants pocket.
“Dude, there’s a voice coming from inside your pants. Did you get some type of weird implant?”
Simon reached into his pocket and pulled out Ellie2.
“Hi, Gilbert!” said Ellie2 as a six inch high 3D projection of Ellie the robot appeared above the device being held by Simon.
“Hey, Ellie! Is that you inside there? You look like an iPhone. Well, I’m glad to see you’re still alive and kicking. I’m sure Simon found you very helpful.”
“Are you kidding? They got so plastered one night I had to give them step by step d
irections on how to walk. And they’re calling me Ellie2 now because their brains can’t cope with the idea of two things with the same name.”
“Hey, Ellie2, do the thing,” said Simon.
The six inch figure of Ellie2 became a brunette in a white robe-like garment with an ear muff hairstyle.
“Help me, Simon and Gilbert, you’re my only hope,” the image said before disappearing in shimmering static.
“See-through robe,” said Gilbert. “Nice touch.”
A short while later everyone was sitting comfortably in the galley munching on nachos, sipping Margaritas and telling their respective stories.
“What did you do to make that Macnair guy so mad at you?” Franco asked Jon.
“Yeah, what did you do, his wife or his daughter?” added Talia.
“Nothing like that, believe me. That’s something I could deal with,” said Jon. “This started out as a business deal. I was hired to set up a secure network for what I was told was a legitimate business venture. It was intergalactic in scope and required extreme encryption. Well, you know me,” he said to Ellie, “the more I got into it, the more things didn’t add up and the more interested I got. Then I was approached by our mutual friend Agent Tomas. Turns out that Macnair wanted all his operations all over the universe to begin reporting real-time on their bits and pieces. Seems Macnair wanted to centralize his accounting so he could cut down on the skimming.”
“How very corporate of him,” said Ellie.
“By this time I had realized that he was controlling illegal drug trafficking, forced labor, prostitution, you name it. He takes it from where it’s legal, ships it to where it’s illegal and sells it to the folks that are too lazy or cheap to move.”
“So all that stuff is legal on some worlds? Even in a society as advanced as this one?” asked Lyn.
“Oh sure,” continued Franco. “Last census counted close to two quadrillion people and believe me, they come in all shapes, sizes, fetishes and addictions. Even if only 0.0001% are mega-kinky or drug crazy, that’s still billions of people. More than enough to colonize a bunch of planets where no one cares what they do, especially the crappy ones with limited habitable space.”
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