For the first time the redhead looks human because her cheeks flush bright pink and she straightens out of her perceived boredom so fast it borders on comical. She shakes her head. “No!”
Brandon laughs. “Who knows better? Me? Or you?”
Distress flashes over her beautiful features and I soften to her. She clears her throat and looks down at her plate. “You.”
“Exactly.” Brandon leans over and kisses her neck. “And you went over budget again, didn’t you?”
She nods.
He trails a thumb over her jugular. “Since those spankings I keep giving you have turned into quite the incentive to spend my money, I think it’s time to come up with something a bit more creative to take care of this problem.”
“Please no.” She shakes her head and turns pleading eyes to him. “I’ll be good.”
Brandon gives her a smile so evil, I’m shaking for her. “After I’m done, of course you will be.”
I drain my glass in one gulp, it’s as delicious as Layla promised, but right now I need it to go to my head to lessen my anxiety.
Thankfully, Gwen, another gorgeous, supermodel redhead comes up to the table a smile on her face. Dressed in a black T-shirt emblazoned with her restaurant’s logo, she’s tall, thin and has those light blue eyes natural gingers often have. She’s like, stop-in-your-tracks stunning. “How’s everyone doing tonight?”
“Everything is awesome, Gwenie,” Jillian says, looking at her friend.
Gwen glances in my direction and beams at Chad. “This is fun and new.”
Chad shrugs as if it’s no big deal.
I feign a casualness I don’t feel.
Gwen points at my empty drink. “Can I get you another?”
“Yes, please, that’d be great.” I want to ask for her to bring me two instead of one, but I keep my mouth shut. I don’t want anyone realizing how distressed I am.
This is exactly why I didn’t want to come to dinner tonight, what I’d been dreading.
I don’t want to be involved in this.
Gwen starts talking about new menu items she’s preparing for us, but I can’t pay attention because my mind is spinning with all the possibilities.
Chad squeezes my leg again, harder and more insistent this time, and I jump, jerking my attention toward him. He narrows his eyes, studying me intently. His hand leaves my leg, grips my elbow, and says to the table, “Excuse us for a minute.”
I stand on shaky legs and follow him, not sure where we’re going, just thankful to be away from the table so I can breathe for a minute. Grateful he silently understood I needed to get away. He pulls me down some stairs to where the bathrooms are, and while it’s crowded here, the din of the restaurant isn’t blaring too loud in my ears.
He tucks me into a corner and shields me with his body, wrapping his fingers around my neck. “Take a deep breath, and relax.”
I suck air into my lungs.
He nods. “Good, slower.”
I blow out the breath.
He works his fingers into my hair. “Ruby, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Trust me to do what’s right by you. Do you think you can do that?”
My heartbeat starts to slow to a normal speed. “But…”
He shakes his head and says in a soothing voice, “I’m not going to put you in a situation you’re not ready for.”
“I’m not ready for this, I don’t want to be around them.”
“You’re not ready to be around your friends who love and adore you?”
“Why do you have to put it like that?” I clutch at his shirt, and when I speak my voice is shaky. The truth stumbles across my lips but I force myself to speak it. “I don’t want to embarrass you.”
His expression softens. “You won’t. I know you don’t understand this, because you’ve put yourself under all this pressure, but they don’t expect anything from you.”
“They don’t?”
His thumb brushes the line of my jaw. “They don’t. Nothing has changed for you, like before, they aren’t going to hide it, but no one expects your participation unless I say so.” He meets my gaze and his expression is deadly serious. “And I don’t say so.”
There are implications to his words I don’t want to think about but right now all I want to do is latch on to the fact that they make me feel better. Calmer. I bite my trembling lip. “You don’t?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t.”
I calm, and all my crazy thoughts settle. I’m still anxious, but better. “Okay.”
He kisses me. “Trust me.”
“I do.” Because, it’s true. Chad is the most consistent man I’ve ever met. I put my head on his shoulder and soak in his warmth. “I feel bad.”
His arms come around me and his hot palms slide over my back. “Why?”
“I want to be fun.”
“You’re fun.”
I scoff. “I might as well be an eighteenth-century virgin.”
He laughs. “That’s a different kind of fun.”
I wrinkle my nose. “It’s annoying.”
He kisses the top of my head. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”
I do trust that. He’s proven nothing different to me. I don’t understand why, but I am thankful. I sigh, close my eyes, and admit, “Does it help I think about sex constantly?”
His hand slips down the curve of my hip to rest on my bare thigh. “Does it help that thigh-high tights give me depraved ideas?”
I lift my head. “They do?”
His fingers tighten on my thigh. “Fuck yes. Especially on you, all that black against your pale skin. Very hot.”
My nerves skitter away, leaving behind a lightness in its place. For the first time I try something daring, something different and forward. “I thought about how you’d look between my legs when I put them on.”
All the times I have told him about my orgasms have made me bolder, more at ease.
His grasp on me tightens, and his eyes darken with what I now recognize as desire. “And what else have you been thinking?”
I tell him the truth. “I can’t stop thinking about you and me…” I suck in a breath and blow it out. “I crave—something—but I can’t figure out what it is.”
A muscle in his jaw clenches and his cheekbones seem to appear starker, casting him in a dangerous light. His head dips as his fingers climb up my thigh. “You want to be taken. Possessed. Claimed.”
That’s exactly it. “Yes.”
His mouth hovers closer. “Fucked.”
My body instantly turns hotter. I nod. It’s what I want, even though the thought of being a failure terrifies me.
“Are you wet?”
“Yes.” The word is breathless. He hasn’t touched me below the waist since the night of the engagement party no matter how much I’ve pleaded, rubbed myself against him.
“I think it’s time I find out for myself.”
I can barely breathe. Barely speak. I nod. Tilt my hips in offering.
His hand works between our bodies, sliding into my panties. I shift, parting my legs to allow him access. When his fingers slide over flesh that’s been aching for him for weeks, a wave of pleasure crests across my skin. He circles my clit and I groan, my head falling back against the wall.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything so good in my life.
He presses closer, leaning his arm alongside my head, and when he speaks, his voice is low in my ear. “I’m going to play with this hot little pussy tonight.”
Oh god. I’m going to combust. I push into his hand.
His fingers slide on either side of my clit, squeezing, but not tight. Sensation rockets through me and I want something. It’s on the tip of my tongue. I don’t know what it is, but it’s hot and demanding and insistent. My hands clutch his shirt, and I hold on, as something unknown and unrelenting beats at me.
He nips at my jaw. “And when I fuck you, I am going to ruin you.”
I don’t know what that means but I like
it.
His fingers slide inside me and he grinds the heel of his palm into the hard bundle of nerves screaming for relief. I don’t know what he does, but he creates this circular motion that is the best thing I’ve ever felt.
My hips rock.
“That’s right, ride my hand.” He laughs, low in my ear. “Show me how much you want it.”
I gasp and moan, rising to meet his ruthless fingers. I didn’t even know it was possible to be touched like this, but it’s so, so good. I forget everything and everybody but him.
And suddenly he stops. He lifts his head. Both of us breathing hard, we stare at each other. He slips from my panties.
I feel cold. I don’t want him to go. I grip him tighter. “Please don’t stop.”
“We’ll continue this later.” His voice is harsh, hoarse, and sends tingles over my skin. He cups between my legs. “This pussy is mine.”
“Please.” I press into his hand. I need…something.
He delivers a hard kiss. “I will. I promise.”
He knows what I need, even if I don’t, and I love that about him. He straightens and his hands fall away. I instantly miss him, pacified only when he takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “Ruby.”
I tilt my head up to meet his penetrating gaze.
He cups my jaw. “For the rest of the night, I want you to think about how you were so wet you didn’t care there were people around.”
The rush of the restaurant comes over me, throwing me headlong into reality. I look around. It wasn’t crowded, but it wasn’t deserted either. “I didn’t.”
He tightens his grip. “You certainly didn’t.”
Chad
Ruby is the kind of chaos that sneaks up over you and kicks you in the ass when you least expect it. Because the truth is, I’d forgotten my surroundings as much as she had. And what really kills me is that I had her, exactly where I’d wanted her.
She’d been hot, needy and ready. I’d had her there before, but she’d still been thinking, down there in that corridor she’d been mindless. Which is exactly where I needed her to be. She hadn’t tensed. She’d arched to meet me. If I’d kept going, there’s no question she would have come. I’d felt the tightening of her cunt on my fingers, saw the inevitable in her glassy, unfocused gaze.
And, like a fucking idiot, I had to put her there in a crowded restaurant that didn’t afford me any privacy. I’m not above making a girl lose her mind in public, but that’s not what I wanted for Ruby the first time. The first time I wanted her to scream and squirm. I didn’t want her to have to be careful.
Of course, she could have slipped into that state because she hadn’t had any pressure on her. Relaxed in the knowledge I didn’t expect her to have an orgasm standing outside the woman’s restroom. I suppose I’d find out soon enough, because I’d broken the seal and there was no turning back now.
I suspect downstairs, with her pressed against a wall, was a one-shot deal tonight.
That she’d start thinking. Worrying.
But that’s okay; I’m prepared for that. I don’t expect tonight.
We slide back into our chairs and the rest of the table looks at us with heavy speculation. I’ve purposefully not said much about my relationship with Ruby, and from what I understand Ruby has done the same.
Michael smirks and cocks a brow at Ruby, who pretty much downs her drink in the thirty seconds we’ve been sitting here. I look at this girl who’s preoccupied almost all my thoughts for weeks. Her cheeks have a healthy flush and her lips are swollen.
She doesn’t realize it, but her transformation into the woman she’s supposed to be has already started. She walks with a little more sway in her step, with a little more boldness in her gaze. When she’d opened the door tonight I’d had to count to ten to keep from attacking her the way I wanted to. She looks hot as hell, dressed in black, her ivory thighs flirting under the hem of her skirt. It’s not the outfit that has changed, because I’ve seen her in stuff like that before, but more the way she wears it. She’s not as guarded. She’s easier in her skin.
Which is exactly what I want for her. More than sex, I want her to be free.
It’s a good thing I’m patient, that I have a lot of control, because she exercises every ounce of it.
We fool around, but she’s right, there is something very virginal about our interactions and the tension between us is off the charts.
I want to tear into her. She wants me to tear into her. Tonight is the closest I’ve come.
Layla smiles at Ruby. “Everything okay?”
Ruby nods. “Everything’s great.”
I put my hand on the back of her chair and rub my crooked finger over her neck. “Do you want another drink?”
She looks at me, blinks with those clear blue eyes of hers that fairly glow from beneath her dark, almost black hair. Then she says sweetly, “Yes, please.”
She has no clue how she sounds. She fucking kills me.
Layla’s expression widens and Jillian grins at Ruby.
Ruby looks back and forth between them. “What?”
“Ouch!” Layla jerks and glares at Michael. “What was that for?”
Michael’s eyes narrow. “What did you just say?”
“You pinched me!” Layla put her hand under the table. “Really hard.”
“And you know why.” He grips the back of her neck and squeezes. “I suggest you don’t take it further.”
I can see the calculation in her eyes, the spinning wheels to see how much she can get away with. As a dominant, that’s one of my favorite looks, and it’s a pleasure to see it on Layla’s face. She’s come so far from that girl I went out with that night when she could barely make it through dinner without crying. Where her skin was pale, her eyes shadowed with grief and loss, her body gaunt. Even back then she’d been a beautiful girl, like a ghost, drifting among the living, but she’s come alive with Michael’s help.
I am almost positive both Layla and Jillian have been told to leave Ruby and me alone, not to ask questions, not to put us on the spot. And I appreciate it, because Ruby is skittish enough without being forced to answer questions she’s not ready to address.
I brush my thumb over the curve of her neck and she flutters her lashes at me, shy and adorable.
Brandon straightens, and Ruby once again goes on high alert. He’s the one she’s most afraid of, the most unknown to her. He grins. “What game should we play?”
“Everyone can come back to our place after dinner,” Jillian says, her expression turning sly. “We could play strip Cards Against Humanity.”
I put my hand on Ruby’s thigh. “I have plans that don’t involve an audience after dinner.”
Under my palm, she relaxes fractionally.
“And I don’t intend on watching my sister strip,” Michael says, grinning at Leo. “Why do I have to keep mentioning these things?”
Jillian scoffs. “Please, I never lose.”
Michael’s head tilts to the side, then he nods. “True. But still no.”
Brandon goes to speak but before he does, I say, “Ruby and I have had a long week, all we’ll be doing is eating.”
Brandon nods. “Fair enough.”
The conversation moves on and Ruby relaxes under my touch. Five minutes later food starts to arrive. The group switches focus to the plates in front of us, diverted away from kinky games as Gwen comes to check on us.
In the commotion, Ruby leans over and whispers in my ear, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Slowly but surely Ruby is coming to trust I have her best interests at heart. To know she’s safe with me.
One more step closer to becoming mine.
Ruby
So, yeah, after all that heat, here we are, watching TV.
I bite my lip and cast a sideways glance at him sitting there, all relaxed. Like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Like I’m not sitting here anxious for when he’s going to touch me. All through dinner I could only think about how he’d be
en down in that alcove. How much I’d wanted him.
But more than that, how I could trust him. To my surprise, nobody had batted an eye when Chad said to count us out of their kinky games. In fact, the topic had moved on and I hadn’t had to worry about it for the rest of the night. Just like he’d promised, he’d told them I was off limits, and they’d listened. Being with Chad has highlighted truly how horrible my taste in men has been all these years. How I’ve kept myself safe, and emotionally isolated, by dating boys instead of men.
I suck in a breath, trying to focus on the movie instead of the man next to me. I’m stretched out on his couch, my feet in his lap, his hand on my knee, still covered in my thick black tights.
I felt good tonight, still awkward, but better. I know Chad’s patience, his steadfast assurance is part of that, and I don’t know how I feel about it. It goes against all my principles.
Did I really need a man to make me come alive? How sad is that?
His perspective makes me see myself in a new light. Has made me realize how stuck my life has been. How my desire to live unconventionally, and without the boundaries of conventions, has actually become my cage of choice.
He peers at me, his expression intent on me. Nobody has ever looked at me the way he does. Like he can see right into me. Like he understands me. Layla once said that people underestimate the value of being understood. I hadn’t known what she meant then.
I do now.
He smiles. “I can feel you thinking.”
The return tilt of my lips is automatic, as I am unable to deny him anything. “It’s hard to turn off my brain.”
He nods, smoothing his palm down my calf. “I know it is. Want to tell me about it?”
To my surprise, I find I do, even though the admission embarrasses me. I look away; back at the flickering screen I’m not watching. “At dinner, you took care of—” I can’t think of the word to use. “The situation.”
“I told you I would.” Another stroke down my leg. He’s different this way too. Unlike most men, he doesn’t shy away from deep conversation, and when we talk, he always touches me. “My priority is taking care of what’s best for you.”
I like it. And it terrifies me. Chad now knows me better than anyone in my entire life, including Layla. I clear my throat. “You didn’t seem bothered by it.”
Debauched (Undone Book 3) Page 11