Abel Lee leans up and says, “I’ll go out and get her.”
“No need, she’s right here.”
Samantha Marie walks in, all smiles. “A girl? They said it was a girl.” She walks over to see the baby instead of seein’ me.
“I’m fine, thanks for askin’.” I giggle again and it still hurts. Abel Lee kisses me and walks over to where the baby and my sister are.
“Oh my gosh, it is a girl.” She laughs. “Congratulations.”
Mom, Daddy, Bud, Nelly, Mia, and Levi all come in with a blue gift for the son we were certain we were havin’. When they learn it’s a girl, they all want to see. Everyone is happy and excited, but if we would have had a son, they would have been just as happy. I still can’t believe I have a daughter. I love Sawyer Jackson and I would have been happy with a dozen little boys. “Sawyer Jackson? He thinks he’s havin’ a baby brother?”
“He’ll be surprised like the rest of us.”
Abel Lee
A daughter. I have a daughter. What do I know about raising a girl? Nothing. She’s tiny, and small, and defenseless. I pray to God that He shows me everything I need to know about raising a daughter. I’m pretty sure it’s different from raising a boy. I have this need to protect her, to watch over her and to guard her. It’s the same instincts I have when I’m with Savannah Mae and Sawyer Jackson.
All of our visitors joke and laugh about the surprise little bundle of joy dressed in all blue. As long as the baby is healthy, the hospital allows you to dress your baby in their regular clothes from home. Scarlet Rose is dressed in a cowboy print onesie and wrapped in a blue blanket.
I give Samantha Marie my credit card and send her and Mia out on a shopping spree. My baby is beautiful no matter what she wears, but she’ll be even prettier in something pink. I give them specifics of what I want and I hope they get it. I can’t bring myself to leave the hospital to do it myself. I can barely stand to lay my daughter down for a few minutes. I can’t help it. I thought I was ready for parenthood, but I wasn’t ready for the amount of love inside me to rush to the surface. I wonder if I had had a son, whether I would feel this way? I would without a doubt.
Everyone leaves and Savannah Mae sleeps as I hold Scarlet Rose. I think back on when we told Momma the baby’s name. She cried, and she was thrilled. I was happy that we got to carry on the family name for the women in my family. Mia and Levi made it clear that if the name was going to be carried on, it would have to be through Savannah Mae and me. At one time they wanted several children, but now Harley will be their one and only. Even with Down syndrome, Harley couldn’t be anymore perfect. I understand their concern of having another child and not being so lucky with the next one.
Holding Scarlet Rose out at arm’s length, I watch her. I know she tested negative for the extra chromosome, but I have to make sure. I feel guilty, but I need to know if maybe the doctor has made yet another mistake. He did tell us she was a boy. The doctor even said he’s human and no one’s perfect. Removing her hat, I carefully look her over, checking her eyes and ears. She’s perfect. She would be perfect even if she had Down syndrome. Swaddling her, I replace her hat and hold her to me.
I thank God and say silent promises to my daughter. I promise to always love her and to protect her. I promise to be the best dad I can be. And I promise to always do what’s right for her, her mom, and her brother. I promise to always make her proud of me and to always provide for her.
“You know she’ll always love you.”
I look at Savannah Mae and say, “I thought you were sleeping.”
“Your talkin’ to our daughter woke me up.”
“You heard that, did ya?”
“I did. I think it’s cute that you want to always take care of her. You know, she’ll always love you.”
I stand with my daughter and walk her over to see her Momma. “How do you know that she’ll always love me?”
“Because little girls are always closest to their fathers.”
“I’ve never heard that.”
“It’s true. Just like little boys are closer to their Mommas.” I think back on Levi and me growing up. We love Momma and Pops, but there was something about Momma. We always joked that we were going to marry her when we got older. “My daddy and I were inseparable,” she says.
“When did it end?” I kiss my daughter and hand her to her momma.
“It didn’t. He’s still my go-to man. I can always count on him for anything. Same stands true with my sister. Sawyer Jackson favors me over Ethan.”
“He favors you over me, too.”
“He does.” She kisses the baby and says, “You have nothing to worry about; she’ll love you to the moon and back.”
We hear Sawyer Jackson outside the door just before Savannah Mae’s mom and dad walk into the room. Sawyer Jackson smiles and runs towards the bed. I carefully lift him so he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. I watch as Savannah Mae carefully and slowly leans in to kiss and hug him. Maybe what she said about little boys and their mommas are true. Maybe Scarlet Rose will always love me. I hope when she looks at me, she looks at me with love in his eyes, like Sawyer Jackson looks at his Momma.
“You wanna see your baby sister?”
“Yep, Grandma and Grandpa said she’s a girl baby, not a boy baby.”
“Yep, that would be correct.” Savannah Mae smiles as she removes Scarlet Rose’s hat, revealing her dark hair.
“She looks like me and Abel Lee,” he says excitedly. “And she got teeny, tiny, little hands.”
I pull up a chair next to the bed and set Sawyer Jackson on my lap. He wraps his small arm around my neck. Ever since I met him, I always wanted a child as sweet as him, I think I got it. I actually have two sweet children. I’ve never looked at Sawyer Jackson as a stepchild or as someone else’s child. He belongs to Savannah Mae, therefore he belongs to me, too. There’s nothing written that says I can’t love another man’s child like my own.
“What do you think of her?”
“She’s berry little,” he says, showing me with his hands how small she is. Of course, she isn’t as small as he portrays her to be.
Savannah Mae’s mom and dad bought some little girl baby clothes for Scarlet Rose to wear home. I thought she was the most beautiful thing in the world in the boys’ clothes she was wearing, but when I saw her in the pink and white dress decorated in roses, I thought she looked like a completely different child.
I was expecting Savannah Mae and the baby to be in the hospital for several days, but when they said they would be released, I was thrilled and scared at the same time. It’s been only 24 hours since the birth of my daughter. I text Mia and tell her we’ll be heading home soon, and to please have the baby’s room ready. I pray they have enough time to get what I asked for.
On the drive home, I am more cautious than usual. I have my beautiful wife sitting beside me, and I also have my son and my daughter buckled safely in the back.
“You know you can go the speed limit.”
I look at the speedometer before looking briefly over at my wife. “I know.” Usually I would hold her hand but today, I keep both hands on the steering wheel. Safety first, I think to myself. We pull up to the house and our parents are there as are Samantha Marie and Mia. They greet us on the large wrap-around porch. Savannah Mae’s dad rushes down and helps his daughter into the house as I help Sawyer Jackson out of the backseat. Next, I unbuckle Scarlet Rose and carry her cowboy carrier into the house with her strapped securely inside.
Once we are inside, everyone fusses over Scarlet Rose and Sawyer Jackson. I’m glad that they haven’t left Sawyer Jackson out. On the coffee table are a few wrapped gifts that I had Mia and Samantha Marie get for Sawyer Jackson while they were shopping for Scarlet Rose. I read a few baby books during this pregnancy, and this was listed among things to do for older children in the family.
The fireplace is lit and the aroma of food fills the house. I should have known that there would be food cooking when we got
here. Savannah Mae nurses the baby as we watch Sawyer Jackson unwrap his few special gifts for becoming an older brother.
I have no idea what Mia and Samantha Marie bought Sawyer Jackson, but I’m happy to see a few boxer action figures and a boxing ring.
“Abel Lee, he looks like you.”
I look at the action figure before picking up the packaging. It is me, and there’s one of Bobby Grether, too. There is also a championship belt that Sawyer Jackson places on my figurine. Mia and Samantha Marie laugh. Savannah Mae looks amazed. “Tony and Mack called me and said that this was in the works, but I really didn’t believe it would happen.” I have to admit that seeing myself as a child’s toy is pretty amazing. Searching the room I can see pride in Momma’s and Pops’ faces. I can also see pride in everyone’s face.
“Look, Scarlet Rose, your daddy’s a rock star,” Savannah Mae teases.
To take the attention off of me, I say, “There’s another surprise for you and our daughter.”
“I don’t think I can handle any more surprises.”
“Just one more, but you have to walk to the nursery to see it.” I take the baby and we all walk down the hallway to the baby’s room.
“What did you do?
No one says anything as we walk into the newly decorated room. Giant red, white, and pink rose clings have been added to the white walls. The cowboy bedding has been replaced with red, white, and pink rosebud bedding. “It’s so pretty,” Savannah Mae says. The cowboy decorations have all been replaced with roses or rosebuds. Even the valance, curtains, and lamps have been replaced with something more fitting for a daughter instead of a son.
“There’s more.” Mia smiles. She opens the dresser drawers and inside are pink and white clothing, blankets, booties, baby towels, and tiny washcloths.
Savannah Mae walks over and picks up a tiny dress. I kiss my daughter on her forehead and think about how much I love her. Watching Savannah Mae, I think about how much I love her, too. She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist.
“Thank you,” she says
“You’re welcome. I couldn’t have our daughter looking like a boy.”
“She is pretty cute in pink, isn’t she?” Savannah Mae lightly touches our daughter’s foot.
“She is.”
Later that night after dinner, baths, and when everyone leaves, I see a light on in the workshop. I tell Savannah Mae that I’ll be right back. I don’t tell her about the light, I don’t want to frighten her. It’s already dark when I walk the short distance across the field. Using my key, I let myself into the workshop. Ethan’s car is parked in the parking lot, but he isn’t anywhere to be seen.
“Ethan, you here?” I holler.
“Be right out.”
I walk around as I wait for him to appear from the back room. “Hey, what’s up?’ He sounds a little winded.
“Not much. Saw the light on and wondered what was going on over here.”
“Just came over to get caught up on some work.” I look at him and he isn’t dressed for work. He’s wearing jeans and a white button-up shirt. “Haven’t had time to congratulate you on your new baby. A girl, huh?”
“Thank you and yes, she’s definitely a girl.”
“Savannah Mae didn’t name her an S name, did she?”
“We both agreed on Scarlet Rose.” I watch as he fidgets with something behind the desk.
“It’s a pretty name, man. Congrats.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll be heading out in a few. Congrats again on the baby. I know you’re both relieved the bottle of water turned out to be just a hoax.”
I pause in my steps at the thought of the bottle of water containing poison or drugs. “Yeah, what a relief. The outcome could have been much different. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Later.”
I walk toward home and turn around only when I see headlights from a car. After watching as Ethan drives out of view, I walk home in deep thought. I kiss Sawyer Jackson and I kiss Scarlet Rose before giving my beautiful wife my undivided attention. Scarlet Rose is sleeping peacefully in her cradle in our room. Savannah Mae is in bed wearing a white eyelet nightgown. She looks like an angel leaning against the headboard. I shower before climbing into the bed with her.
Of course we don’t make love, but we do cuddle. I’m still amazed at how perfectly she fits against my body. I wanted to talk to her, but she falls into a slumber before I could find the right words. We both wake up for Scarlet Rose’s feeding. Although she is being breastfed, I don’t want to miss out on a single feeding if I can help it.
I get ready for work right after Scarlet Rose’s 5:00 am feeding. I want to be the first one in this morning. I tell Savannah Mae that I’ll be over at lunch and I’ll try to be home early tonight. I don’t want to leave her and the kids here, but I also know we need to work to make the business profitable. I text Ethan before leaving the house to see if he’ll meet with me in private sometime this morning.
Deciding to start my day in the workshop, I unlock the doors and leave the doors open wide to air it out. I turn on the lights and walk to the back room. I see nothing but supplies. Kevin is in charge of this area, and it looks well stocked to me. When I turn to leave, Ethan is standing in the doorway. This time he looks like he’s ready to work.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Good, you’re early. I wasn’t expecting to see you until later.”
He walks further into the workshop. “I got your message and didn’t see any reason to wait. I was already up and ready for work anyway.”
I take a step closer to the center floor of the workshop. There’s no good way to say it. “I know it was you.” I watch his stance and his expression. I don’t know for sure it was him who arranged for someone to give Savannah Mae the bottle of water and the handkerchief with a cursive J embroidered on it, but I have a deep suspicion it was him.
He laughs. “You know it was me who did what?”
“The water bottle and the handkerchief. I know you arranged for someone to give it to her the day of the grand opening.” I let that sink in for only a moment. “I found the extra handkerchief. They were sold in a pack of two and I found the other one.” I follow his eyes to a box on the top shelf. “I’m just not sure why you did it.” I didn’t find the other handkerchief, but now I know where to look.
“I made one mistake and she kicked me to the curb. She never even let me have a second chance.”
“You hurt her.”
He runs his hands through his hair. “I know that, but I was drunk. I thought she was going to give us another chance but then you waltzed into her life and that was it.”
“So, you wanted to frighten her more than she already was. Why? Why do that to her?” I take a cautious step forward. “Why would you do that to her?”
“I was hopin’ it would bring her back to me. I was hopin’ to remind her of all of your bad faults, and maybe, she wouldn’t feel safe around you any longer.”
“Ethan, you think it’s my fault she’s not with you?”
“No. I know it’s my fault. She’s a great girl and I messed up. I love her. I’ll always love her.” He pauses. “Then you came along and gave her everything she deserves.” I watch and I can’t believe this is all unfolding right in front of me. “Love, respect, money. Shit, you even gave her a daughter.” A daughter? Did Savannah Mae secretly want a daughter to fulfill her life? I thought the gender of the baby didn’t matter. I thought she wanted another son. “Now, I suppose you’ll tell her everything. She’ll really think I’m the scum of the earth.”
“I’m not going to tell her anything.” He looks up at me with hope in his eyes. “You are.”
“What?”
“You want to keep working here, you have to tell her the truth.”
“And what if I don’t?” he asks.
“You’ll put your two weeks’ resignation in.”
“I won’t have a job. How will I take care of my son? I don’
t pay child support, but I do help Savannah Mae as much as I can.”
“Then you’ll tell her what you did and you’ll apologize to her for being an ass.”
“Those are my choices?”
“Pick one and let me know before the day’s over with what you plan to do. If you chose to apologize to her, you’ll do it with me standing near. I don’t trust you to be near my wife.”
“It’s not much of a choice.”
“Pick one or I will.” I turn to leave when he says, “How did you really know it was me?”
I turn around and look at him. “Savannah Mae and I are the only ones who know about that incident with the water bottle. We didn’t share it with anyone outside of family.”
“So you didn’t find the handkerchief?”
I walk over and remove the box from the top shelf. Beneath all of the papers is a monogrammed handkerchief.
Later that evening, I watch as Savannah Mae sits on the park bench talking to Ethan. Sawyer Jackson is playing on the slides and I’m holding our daughter. There was no way I was going to let him be alone with her. He was right about one thing, maybe two. Savannah Mae is a great girl, and if you screw her over, you’ll never get another chance to do it again or to fix it. She’s done, and whether she loves you or not, she’s moving on without you.
When she wipes away her tears, I want to rush over to her, but I don’t. This is his mistake and he needs to own up to it. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to console her. I will always be there to protect her. Not just her, but Sawyer Jackson and Scarlet Rose, too.
I watch Sawyer Jackson as I watch Savannah Mae from my peripheral vision. I want her to know that I am here if she needs me. She doesn’t slap his face like I expected she would. She cries and wipes away the tears as he talks. When she stands, I turn to face them directly. They don’t hug before she walks away in my direction.
The sad look of heartbreak on her face tears at my heartstrings. I have never seen my wife look so broken. To know that someone you loved and trusted could be capable of causing you pain would hurt.
Ethan sits back down on the bench and covers his face in shame with his hands. He wanted to try to right his wrong. He said Savannah Mae deserves to hear the truth from him. And he’s right, she does deserve the truth. Her eyes are red and swollen and the tears have stained her cheeks. I open my free arm and she walks right into my side. When she rests her head on my chest, I bend down to kiss her. She smells like Scarlet Rose. I inhale her new fresh baby scent and I find my own comfort from her.
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