Everything was too classy. I wasn’t used to such luxury and felt somewhat out of place. I felt like his latest conquest, which crushed me.
Ryan and I had been dating for three weeks already and the sex was amazing, but the stupid thought that to him, I was no more than an always-available sex doll, wouldn’t leave my head. He was always nice and attentive, but what did I actually mean to him? I didn’t have the foggiest.
The evening had passed perfectly. We’d gone to an Italian restaurant, where we’d eaten pizza and drunk lovely red wine, while telling each other about our lives. Ryan had shared stories about his mother and mentioned the new album he was writing with the band. We’d had fun and I’d felt happy the entire time. It was rare for me to experience true happiness. And now I was standing in front of the mirror and my pessimistic thoughts made me feel like something ugly and sinister had its hands around my throat.
There was a knock on the door. “Emily, are you okay? Can I come in?” Ryan’s voice sounded concerned.
“Yes, of course,” I replied.
He entered and it was as if the room suddenly became brighter. That, of course, was only the fruit of my imagination.
He stared at me, trying to guess what the problem was. “What is it? Talk to me. Is something wrong?”
God, he was so attentive to me. The feelings I felt for him doubled in intensity.
Since I didn’t respond immediately, he added, “It’s late, babe. Come to bed.”
I opened my mouth, trying to find the right words to explain how I felt, but nothing came out.
Ryan took a cautious step forward. He could tell something was wrong. “Emily, I don’t know what’s going through your head, but if it’s to do with sex, we don’t have to do anything. I just want to hold you in my arms when I sleep. My dick won’t approve, but he’s a big boy, so I think he’ll get over it somehow. Believe me, I can do it. I haven’t seen you for a few days and I’ve missed you.”
I rested my hand on the sink for support. “I know it’s a stupid question, but I want to know what the situation between us actually is. Are we friends with benefits… or is our relationship deeper?”
The uncertainty in his eyes was like a stone dropping on my heart.
So, my suspicions had been reasonable after all.
How could I have thought that a man such as Ryan would see me differently? He couldn’t focus on just one woman. Was he sleeping with others?
He’d most likely guessed the direction in which my thoughts were heading, because he frowned slightly and replied, “Don’t draw the wrong conclusion before I’ve even had a chance to explain myself. I like you, Emily Delon. I’m attracted to you like no other woman. I don’t know what’s worrying you, but if it’s my infamy as a womanizer, I can state in my defense that I’ve never fucked a woman in my own bed. I used to have a room in Wild Angels, but it no longer exists. I threw out all furniture and now use it as a storeroom.”
My mouth had gone dry, so l licked my lips as he continued, “No other woman has stayed with me until the morning. You’re the only one. With the others, it was a whole different story. We’d finish having sex and they’d go home. Those were the rules. I never misled them to make them think they could have something more with me than what I offered. I know I was an asshole, but that was the way my life functioned. Now, however, I have you, Emily.” He put his hands on my shoulders. “You’re my girlfriend. With you, I want to do things like snuggle on the couch and watch TV. That’s a whole new experience for me. I can’t promise you the moon and the stars, roses and hearts, and all the other things you women love. But I want us to try to build a serious relationship.”
I bit my lip to stop them from trembling. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I whispered, “I’m scared, Ryan. You know I have no experience.” That was a general statement and not specifically about sex, an area in which I was definitely boring.
He put his hands on my face. “Why do you assume I’m not afraid? I feel as if the closer I get to the sun, the warmer and nicer it gets. My soul isn’t burdened and I’m happy, as I’ve never been before. But if I get too close, I might get burned and ugly scars would remain forever in my heart. In spite of this, I want us to try, Emily. I have a feeling that things between us will work out.”
God, this man really did have a way with words. It was no accident his albums sold like hot cakes. He was a genius in the music industry, and even critics admired him.
And now this wonderful man stood in front of me, giving me strength by showing how important I was to him.
As any smitten woman, I threw myself in his arms and dug my face into the curve between his neck and shoulder. Eventually, I’d probably be left licking my wounds, but there was also a possibility of our staying together.
A ray of hope in an uncertain future.
Ryan laughed and hugged me. “I hope this means everything between us is okay.” He raised my chin with his index finger. Our eyes met. “When will you finally understand that you’re mine? I took your virginity and only I have the right to touch you.”
His words didn’t surprise me at all. “Don’t be so possessive.”
The corners of his lips curled in a charming smile. “I got to where I am because I’ve learned how to protect what’s mine.”
Bending down, he lifted me from the floor. My legs wrapped around his waist as his hands covered my ass. His soft lips touched mine and all doubts about the strength of our relationship disappeared. His kiss was as passionate as always, showing me he couldn’t get enough of me. His tongue stroked mine and gave me pleasure. He pulled my thong aside. A finger caressed my already-wet opening and slid inside me, intensifying the arousal of my body even farther.
Suddenly, he pulled away from me, leaving me empty and tingling.
“Fuck… Emily, I promised you we wouldn’t have sex unless you wanted it. And look at me now, pouncing on you like some wild animal.”
All my inhibitions and rules could go to hell. “I want you.”
I didn’t have to say anything else. Ryan led me to his bedroom, laid me down on the soft mattress and gently said, “Get undressed.”
I sat up and, while sliding the dress over my head, watched him tear off his shirt, spilling buttons in different directions. Then he kicked away his jeans and boxers. His eyes radiated savage passion, his muscles becoming even more pronounced as he moved his body.
Ryan leaned over me and started showering my neck with kisses.
From time to time, he bit my soft flesh and the light pain reverberated in my loins. He first sucked on one of my nipples and then moved on to the other. Soon after, he made his way down… and farther down, until he was between my legs.
“You have the sweetest pussy and it’s just mine. Only I can taste it.” His hot tongue traced a circle around my clit and I cried out. “You can’t imagine what I feel, knowing that nobody else has been close to you sexually. The sensation is incredible.” He continued to skillfully suck, lick and tease the small bundle of nerves. Everything he did with his skillful tongue was magical.
“I want to do it too,” I murmured as I watched him with his face buried between my legs.
Ryan raised his head. “You want to suck me off?”
I nodded in response. Unlike him, I still couldn’t relax and talk dirty, even though I knew he’d like that.
“Let’s do sixty-nine.” Without wasting any time, Mr. Perfection turned on his back and my ass somehow ended up on his face.
“Take my cock in your hand and rub it up and down. Suck it as if you’re sucking a big lollipop.” There wasn’t even a hint of sarcasm in his tone.
I liked lollipops, so I should be able to manage this. One of my hands gripped the shaft and the other started playing with his testicles. I leaned forward, caressed his head with my tongue and then took him in my mouth as deep as I could.
He moaned and his belly and thigh muscles contracted. “That’s it, babe. You’re doing great.”
Encouraged by his
words, I sucked him harder. His cock was as hard as steel, but its skin was soft like velvet, with highly prominent veins. I licked it along its full length and then started to suck it, faster and harder.
Ryan inserted a finger into my vagina, rubbing my clit at the same time. What he did to my body was magical. I cried out when he put one more finger inside me and sped up the tempo.
“I love making you scream,” he murmured quickly and started to tongue-fuck me.
With his cock in my hand, I continued to suck him, making sure I didn’t hurt him with my teeth. Considering I had no experience, I was doing pretty well. My lips covered his cock’s head, which was pink with a light blue hue, and savored his salty taste. I realized this was turning me on. I took him in deep, down to my throat, and then pulled back, licking him, teasing him, full of desire to bring him to the blissful end. He moaned and I felt like a goddess with the power to give him pleasure.
“Oh, babe… I adore you,” he murmured and, in the same instant, I sensed how his finger sank into my asshole.
God, my cheeks started burning even more. I was ashamed of what he was doing to me and, above all, of the fact that I liked it. Filled everywhere, I screamed as the orgasm shook me.
I pulled away from him and covered my face with my hands.
Why did I feel so ashamed?
I knew it was silly. We were a couple and weren’t doing anything wrong, but even so, I was shocked that he’d made me come so quickly in this perverted manner.
12
Ryan
“Why did you do it?” Emily didn’t even dare look at me when she asked the question.
I leaned over her and hugged her, my lips giving her shoulder light kisses. “Babe, you liked it. You came so quickly—”
She turned on her back and our eyes met. “That was perverted.”
I laughed at her innocence.
“Stop making fun of me.”
I ceased laughing and cupped her face with my hands. Her skin was soft and smooth, her eyes shining like sapphires. It was like I was swimming in a sea of exquisiteness. “I wasn’t making fun of you.” I leaned in and kissed her small snubbed nose. “One day, I’ll show you how pleasant anal sex can be, but we need to be patient to get there.”
“I’ll never do that.”
My thumbs stroked her cheekbones. “Did it hurt when we made oral love?”
“No, but don’t do the finger thing again.”
“Nothing is perverse when it comes to two consenting adults giving each other pleasure in bed. I can make you come in so many different ways.”
She exhaled loudly, her sweet breath caressing my face.
I understood she was confused because she had limited sexual experience, but all I’d wanted was to give her pleasure. “Do you trust me?”
She nodded slightly. I closed my eyes and some inexplicable emotion radiated throughout my body. It was love, but I didn’t realize it at the time. Her innocence and the fact she trusted me meant so much.
Her delicate fingers sank into my hair. I briefly opened my eyes and, leaning forward, bit her lower lip. This petite girl was a real goddess, who’d found the road to my heart.
* * *
“I’ll teach you to show respect, you little shit.”
I lay on the floor in our small apartment in New York as my father beat me with his leather belt. He’d pushed up my T-shirt and was delivering lash after lash on my young skin without a hint of mercy.
I didn’t believe in God, because if He existed, He wouldn’t let this happen to a child. But I believed in the devil, who I was certain had possessed my father.
I couldn’t see anything in front of me because of the endless waterfall of tears streaming from my eyes. My back was bloody and the pain was indescribable.
“Someday I’ll kill you, you useless, little shit. I’ll kill you.”
A distant voice kept calling me.
It was my angel. She’d save me from the torment.
“Ryan, wake up… Ryan… Please, wake up.”
I opened my eyes to gaze upon the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen leaning over me. A real angel who’d come down from the heavens.
My guardian angel.
“Emily,” I whispered, realizing my face was wet with tears.
She hugged me and I pressed myself as close as possible against her, scared that someone might take her away from me. I couldn’t let that happen.
“You had a nightmare. Everything is fine.” She caressed me soothingly, showering my face with kisses.
Her tenderness touched me deep inside. A lump appeared in my throat. I’d never met a woman like her. And this gentle and good girl was mine, only mine.
I had to try to keep her mine forever.
I relaxed on top of her and she opened her legs wide for me. We were naked and nothing stood in our way. I entered her slowly and gradually, taking care not to hurt her. After a while, I started to move more quickly, in and out, back and forth, again and again.
“If you only knew how much you mean to me,” I murmured, digging my face into her neck. I kissed and bit her skin, driven wild by lust.
She moaned at every thrust I made. We both had a great need to give ourselves to each other without thinking about anything else.
Neither about the world around us nor about the past.
Only about the future.
Emily was my future.
She trembled under me when the orgasm engulfed her. She powerfully flexed her vaginal muscles, squeezing the last drop of control out of me. I growled loudly as I came inside her.
Nothing could scare me when Emily was beside me. With her, I could even overcome my worst demons.
Demons who’d been chasing me ever since I was born.
Emily Delon helped me understand that the devil hadn’t managed to possess my soul after all.
Yes, I’d killed my father when I was just ten years old. His blood flowed through my veins, but my heart and soul were completely different from Josef’s.
Because I was capable of loving.
Love…a word that my father hadn’t known.
13
Emily
Gentle guitar sounds sneaked into my dream. With my face sinking deeper into the pillow, a wonderful aroma reached my nostrils. The scent reminded me of blooming lavender in Provence, but there was a hint of something else, too, possibly the smell of shampoo for men.
Stretching, I inhaled deeply and opened my eyes. The clock on the nightstand showed it was 8:35. I was lying on the huge, king-sized bed in Ryan’s bedroom, enjoying the extremely soft and comfortable mattress and bedding. I didn’t want to laze on my own, so I got up and put on the T-shirt he’d left on the armchair by the window.
The guitar sounds continued to drift in from the living room. I walked over and, leaning my shoulder against the doorframe, drank in the view before me. Ryan was sitting in front of a huge, black piano. The ocean was visible through the panoramic windows behind him. Wearing only boxers, with a classical guitar in his hands, he couldn’t look any sexier. The long fingers, which only a few hours ago had explored every part of my body, now slid across the strings with ease.
This amazing man, who made millions of girls worldwide sigh over him, wanted me—an ordinary girl from Provence.
I gazed at his handsome facial features, while my brain slowly turned back the clock to the early hours, reminding me of the nightmare he’d suffered.
Who’d believe that this strong man, full of so much energy, could be so vulnerable, like a young boy. My stomach twisted in pain at the thought. I got the urge to hug him, but seeing how deeply he was engrossed in his work, I decided not to interrupt him.
Ryan was singing a ballad about love, entangled naked bodies and souls, about a girl with long, red hair, ocean-blue eyes and soft lips. His thick, slightly hoarse voice made the hairs on my body stand on end in pleasure.
It was only when he paused to add something to his notebook that I realized he was actually writing a song a
bout me. I was the girl who took his breath away and made his heart beat wildly.
Ryan turned his head and saw me. His facial features softened and the corners of his mouth turned up. “Sorry if I woke you up.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s late enough as it is. I can’t lie in bed all day.” My eyes glanced back at the piano. “When I was little, I really wanted to learn to play the piano, but my granddad said we had no money for musical instruments.”
Ryan continued to gaze at me. At such moments, I had the feeling he could read every thought I hadn’t voiced. “I was lucky that my music teacher saw some potential in me and gave me lessons free of charge. Will Buckland was a great tutor, but unfortunately he’s no longer with us.” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “If it weren’t for him, Blackstone wouldn’t exist.”
I watched how he transformed, as if some shadow had lifted from his face. His sadness was replaced by a charming smile and a playful tone appeared in his voice. “It’d be my pleasure to give you piano lessons. That’d give you a reason to visit me more often.”
“You know full well you’d be the reason for me to come, not the piano.” I could no longer keep my distance. I walked over to him and, putting my hands on his handsome face, leaned in and kissed him. As always, his lips were soft and his taste inimitable.
Unwillingly, I ended the kiss. We locked eyes and it was as if the strong feelings I’d started to have for him suddenly tripled.
How did he manage to have such a powerful effect on me? It wasn’t just his good looks. There was something else that drew me to him like a magnet. Perhaps it was that he was so nice and attentive to me?
“I like your new song,” I said, my face beaming in reflection of his smile.
“Really?” He tilted his head slightly. He placed the guitar on the floor and pulled me astride his lap.
“I’d even add that it’s amazing. I’m sure it’ll become your latest hit.”
Ryan dug his fingers into my hair and pulled me down to his level to kiss me again. His tongue, hot and moist, found mine and they twirled in a dance of love. One of his hands slid up my thigh and, on reaching my ass, gave it a light squeeze.
Beautiful Devil: The Rockstar Duet (Book 1) Page 6