"It's gonna rain soon." Howard mumbled to himself. He looked back down at Alfie again. The old man was lost in his own little word, and seemed unaware of Howard's presence at the bedroom window. Howard sighed, bored now with seeing his neighbour constantly out in the street, looking, with futility, for his missing pet. "Don't worry, old fella, this'll be the last day that you have to spend without your stupid, precious cat. This time tomorrow, you'll already have been reunited. Or your would be, if such a place as heaven actually existed." Said Howard. “You crossed the line, last week, accusing me of stuff, right there in the street like that. Stupid old bastard.” He looked back up at the sky, just as the first raindrops began to appear on the bedroom window. Howard gave one last glance at Alfie Whitehouse. "Catch you later, buddy." He smirked, before going off to find Mary.
Howard found his new fixation, Mary Broderick, in the living room. She was sat in the armchair, a laptop perched on her legs. Mary was wearing a short black skirt, and Howard took a quick glimpse at her long legs, before forcing himself to focus on her face instead.
"Oh, hello Howard." Mary greeted him as he entered the room.
"Hi. What are you up to?" Howard asked, as he sat down on the sofa, trying hard not to stare at Mary’s thighs.
"Not much, just mooching on the 'net." Mary replied, in a bored voice. Howard nodded.
"Where are Lucas and Kay?"
"They've taken a drive up to Elman, to the do-it-yourself superstore there." Mary told him. "One of the taps is knackered in the kitchen. Lucas said that it can't be fixed and needs a replacement."
"Oh, the cold one? Yeah, it’s fucked. It won't stop running. Lucas was trying to fix it last weekend but wasn't having much luck." Said Howard. "What time did they go out at?" He wanted to know.
"Not long, only about a quarter of an hour back." Mary responded. Howard picked at a small hole that was emerging in the knee of his jeans for a few moments.
"Don't suppose you fancy doing something this afternoon?" Howard asked, his voice a little shaky. Mary looked up from the laptop.
"Like what?" She asked.
"I was thinking a drive out somewhere… maybe Knighton or Hoffen… or perhaps down the coastal road." Suggested Howard.
"What, in the rain?" Said Mary, who nodded towards the living room window; it was raining quite heavily outside. Howard shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, why not. The rain doesn't bother me at all." He advised Mary. She put the laptop down on the floor.
"Go on then. Can we drive down the coastal road?" She asked. Howard smiled.
"Of course we can." He answered. I don't believe my luck! She’s agreed to come out with me! I’m going to get to spend the whole afternoon with Mary. Howard thought, excitedly. And I’ve got Alfie to look forward to even later on, too! The day’s just getting better and better!
Chapter Eight
At just after three o'clock on that cold and grey Sunday afternoon, Howard's car pulled into a ‘pay-and-display’ car-park in a small town called Hingley, which was approximately twelve miles south of Coldsleet. Fortunately, the rain had eased off and stopped during the drive down to the old fishing town, though there was little hope of the sun breaking through the blanket of cloud that hung stubbornly over the whole of the north west of the country that day. Howard and Mary got out of the car, and left the car-park. Howard had suggested that they walk across to the seafront.
"There's a nice coastal path with some great views." Said Howard.
"What, even in the middle of winter?" Mary replied.
"Yes, even in the middle of winter." Smiled Howard.
"Okay then." Agreed Mary. The pair headed towards the sea, which was directly in front of them. They passed a row of ageing guest houses, every single one of them displaying signs that said 'Vacancies' "Does this place get a lot of visitors? I mean, in the summer?" Mary asked.
"No. Not really. It's a lot like Coldsleet. Hingley is a dying town… on its last legs… which is why I like it." Replied Howard, grinning.
The walk to the beach only took a few minutes. Howard and Mary appeared to be the only visitors to the location; there wasn’t another soul in sight. The strong sea breeze coming in from the Irish Sea blew against Mary's long dark locks, lifting them up from off her shoulders. Howard noticed a small pimple, that he’d not seen before, on the side of Mary’s neck. More imperfection. Which makes her increasingly perfect. Thought Howard.
"Which way's the coastal path, Howard?" She asked, hair blowing across her face, causing Mary irritation.
"There it is." Answered Howard, pointing towards some wooden steps that led from off the beach, winding upwards, over and across some large sand dunes.
"Oh yes, I see. Howard, isn't it a bit cold and windy to go traipsing along coastal paths?" Wondered Mary.
"Maybe, but not this one. You see, most of the walk is sheltered by those dunes over there… you'll notice the difference once we cross to the other side of them… and that's where the best views are, too." Howard informed Mary.
"Okay." She responded, seeming satisfied with Howard's answer. They walked along the beach, and then veered to the right, up the small wooden steps that led onto a path that was protected, just as Howard had said, by the large sand dunes.
Once they were on the coastal path, the strong sea breeze fell away, much to Mary's relief. Howard and Mary walked along the sandy trackway for a few minutes. Every so often, there would be a gap in the dunes to the left of them, and a glimpse of the ocean could be seen. To the right were more dunes, but these gradually began to fall away, leading to flatter land, and it was at that point the views Howard had earlier described could be seen.
"Doesn't that look fantastic?" Asked Howard, pointing across towards the distant Knighton Mountain. Mary nodded her head in agreement. Knighton Mountain rose into the sky, the top of its summit cloaked teasingly in cloud. Just like on the bus a few days earlier, the sight of the mountain caused Mary’s flesh to come out in goosebumps. Beyond the mountain, another peak could just about be viewed.
"Is that Hoffen Mountain that I can see, further on in the distance?" Asked Mary.
"Yes, it is. Hoffen is much larger than Knighton. A lot more difficult to walk up, too. Say, you know I mentioned us doing the Black Pathway Trail, in the summer?" Howard reminded Mary.
"Erm… yes." She replied, somewhat hesitantly.
“Well, don’t forget what I told you, when we were on the bus… the trail takes you up to the very top of both those mountains." Howard reminded her.
“Oh yeah, I remember you telling me that.” Said Mary.
"Yep, the Black Pathway goes right the way to the top of those peaks.” Reiterated Howard.
"I bet it’s a pretty difficult part of the walk." Observed Mary. She gazed over at Knighton Mountain; from this angle, any ascent didn't just look difficult; it appeared impossible.
Howard Trenton smiled at Mary. I wonder what you'd do if I tried to hold your hand? He pondered. Maybe I'll try, a bit later on, if I can pluck up the courage…
"Actually, when you're walking up Knighton and Hoffen Mountains using the Black Pathway, neither of them are mega-difficult to reach the top of. Hoffen takes longer, because it's not just steeper, but a fair bit higher too. The climb up Knighton is shorter, but it's a lot more technical, especially near the top of it… things can get tricky, especially if the weather's against you." Said Howard. "More people lose their lives on Knighton than what they do on Hoffen, when really, you'd think that it would be the other way around. There's some really nasty drops near Knighton's summit… I think I mentioned them before to you… that's where people can come unstuck. You don't really get anything that severe on Hoffen. It’s just so much more of a slog.” Howard informed Mary.
"So, you've reached the top of both of those mountains?" Asked Mary.
"Yeah, loads of times. Like I told you, I've walked the Black Pathway on many occasions." Howard replied. Mary looked at him, impressed. For just a second, Howard thought about try
ing to kiss the young woman, but any courage that he had quickly faltered.
Howard and Mary continued along the coastal path, both of them still admiring the distant mountains of Knighton and Hoffen.
"So, are you at work tomorrow?" Asked Howard. Mary nodded.
"Afraid so. I need to find another job. Working in an office doesn't suit me." She told Howard. "I just took the first thing that I could when I finished college two years back. Trouble is, I'm not exactly sure what I'd actually like to do for a career."
"Same here." Said Howard. "I'm doing these courses at college, and then I'll probably go on to University after all, I suppose… but as for what I'm actually working towards… well, I haven't the slightest. The courses that I'm studying right now… the subject matter of them really interests me, but as for them helping in ever getting a job of some sort afterwards, well, that's debatable.” He confided to Mary.
"What did your parents do for a living, Howard?" Mary asked, and Howard suddenly blushed.
"Oh… erm… my father… I… erm… I didn't know him." Howard tried to explain, stumbling with his words somewhat through embarrassment.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Howard." Said Mary. "That must have been tough.” She sympathised.
"No, not really. I never gave him much thought." Replied Howard instantly, stopping the conversation in its tracks for a few awkward moments.
Howard stopped walking and looked across, towards Knighton Mountain.
"My mom… she used to do a lot of retail work, around Coldsleet and Elman… when she could, that is. She suffered from mental health problems…"
"Howard, you don't have to tell me any of this." Interrupted Mary.
"No, no, honestly, it's okay… I don't mind talking about it." Replied Howard. "Actually, it feels good to admit that to someone else, you know, about my mother having a mental illness. I've never really discussed it very much with anyone… but I know that with you, I can."
"I'm glad that you feel like that, Howard, but, honestly, you don't have to tell me anything about your mom, it's really not any of my business." Said Mary.
"Like I said, I feel okay talking about her with you. Do you mind if we sit down for a moment?" Asked Howard.
"Sure." Answered Mary. Howard ventured a little off the coastal path, towards one of the sand dunes nearby. He approached its slope, and then sat down against it, in the sand. Mary followed him over to the sand dune and sat next to Howard. As Howard had earlier informed Mary, the dunes made for excellent protection against the elements, acting as a natural barrier against the nearby sea-breeze, which couldn't even be heard, let alone felt, at the location where they sat.
Howard Trenton began to tell Mary Broderick about his mother.
"From what she told me, mom was always a little bit jumpy and anxious about stuff, even when she'd been a little girl. Mom was a worrier from the word go. My mother told me that, when she was really young, about four or five years old, she'd often lie awake at night, fretting about what would happen if both of her parents suddenly died. Instead of just getting on and enjoying her childhood, my mother would be constantly working herself up into a state about things that, ultimately, never happened, or that she had absolutely no control over. I mean, yeah, sure, her parents died in the end, but not until mom was in her late twenties. No, what I meant there was, mother would worry about everything and anything, always fearing the worst case scenario, which, ninety nine point nine percent of the time, never came to fruition. All of the worrying that she did, it was all a waste of time. My mom told me that she regretted squandering most of her childhood, and adolescence, on getting anxious about things that ended up not happening. But even so, she STILL couldn't stop working herself up about stuff." Howard told Mary.
"That's really sad, Howard." Mary said. Howard shrugged his shoulders.
"It was just the way that she was, and there was nothing that my mom could do to change that." Confided Howard. He picked up a handful of sand from off the dune, and let it run through the gaps in his fingers, back to the ground.
The light of that cold, grey, winters day was slowly beginning to fade, as Howard continued with his story.
"As mom got older, turned into a young woman, her mental health got steadily worse. At first it was stuff like panic attacks and depression, but as she hit her late teens, early twenties, mom told me that she would hear and see things, things that weren't really there. The hallucinations… they almost drove my mom over the edge. She had a breakdown, and ended up in Hingley-Edge Psychiatric Hospital. The doctors there diagnosed mom with a chronic schizo-affective disorder. They treated her as best as they could, mainly dosing her up on medication, but it helped… well, it helped enough for mom to be able to function okay, back in society, on a day-to-day basis, though she'd still have her moments. Sometimes, she got into trouble with the police. When that happened, she'd usually end up back at Hingley-Edge. The doctors would tinker about with mom's meds until they got what they thought was the right dosage, and she'd go back home again. Until things started up again.” Said Howard, scraping up another handful of sand from off the dune.
"I'm really sorry to hear all of that, Howard. It must have been tough on you, when you were growing up, with your mom being stricken will illness like that." Commented Mary.
"That's the best thing, Mary. I never really noticed." Replied Howard, with a wry smile on his face. "I always just thought that mom was a bit batty, peculiar, eccentric. I never actually realised that she'd been diagnosed with a mental illness until she told me all about it, when I was in my early teens."
Howard Trenton looked at the time on his wristwatch.
"It's just gone half past four. I suppose that we'd better start walking back to the car, it'll be dark soon." He said. Howard stood up, and offered Mary a hand to help her up from off the sand. She smiled, and when her hand grasped his, Howard felt something like a powerful, beautiful, electric charge jolt through his entire body. The pair began to walk along the coastal path once more, and Howard continued telling Mary about his mother; it felt good to get things off his chest, and out in the open, and now he had started confiding in his companion, he was finding it difficult to stop. "My mom told me that my father… she never knew him either." Howard suddenly said. This puzzled Mary for a moment.
"What do you mean? Like he was a one-night stand or something?" She asked, seeking clarification as to what Howard actually meant.
"No, it wasn't anything like that." Replied Howard. "My mom never knew my father because, whoever he was, he was a complete stranger to her… for fucks sake, she barely even SAW him. She never found out who he was, either."
"You've lost me, Howard." Admitted Mary, feeling confused. Howard took a deep breath.
"My mother was attacked by a man that she never knew. Sexually assaulted and left for dead. Whoever raped my mother was my biological father." Spat Howard. “I’m the son of some fucking rapist.” Mary put her hands up to her mouth. Oh my God, Howard, that's absolutely horrific." She said.
"Isn't it just?" Replied Howard Trenton, with a strange expression, almost like a gentle grin, but one without any humour driving it, slowly spreading across his face.
Howard took one last look at the distant Knighton Mountain, which was slowly vanishing under both the veil of darkness and low-hanging, black clouds.
"We've got to head off the pathway and back onto the beach now." He told Mary.
"Lead the way, Howard… I haven't got a clue where we are." Mary replied.
"Oh, don't worry, we're not far from the car-park, which is a good job really. I think that we're gonna get another downpour again soon." Said Howard. The pair left the coastal path and walked between two sand dunes, emerging back onto Hingley beach. As soon as they were out in the open, the strong breeze hit them. "Wouldn't surprise me if that wind doesn't whip itself up into a gale before the night's out." Commented Howard. Mary looked out to the ocean.
"You might be right. The sea's getting proper choppy out there."
She observed.
"Looks like the weather forecast got it wrong about possible snow… it's too warm for that." Howard observed. "So, what did you think about the view of the mountains, Mary?" He asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah, it was really nice." Mary replied. "Can I ask you something, Howard?" She went on.
"Sure. What?" Howard responded.
"It's about your mother." Mary advised. Howard gave her a sideward glance.
"Okay. Go on then. What do you want to know?" Howard queried, bracing himself for whatever it was that Mary was about to ask.
Mary Broderick looked ahead of her; she and Howard were almost back at Hingley promenade.
"Did your mother report the… incident… the assault…to the police?" Mary asked.
“She didn’t have to. Someone out walking their dog found mom at the top of Wildbridge Hill - that’s where it happened - and called the coppers straight away. I don't think that they put much effort into investigating it, though.” Howard responded. This shocked Mary.
"Why on Earth wouldn't they? It was a rape, for Heavens sake!" She said, a stirring of outrage welling up inside her.
"Well, yes, it sort of was." Replied Howard, in a cryptic manner.
"What do you mean, 'it sort of was'? Rape is rape, there's no middle ground, certainly not as far as I”m concerned… so, what do you mean, Howard?” Mary wanted to know.
"Yeah, I mean, yes, my mom was definitely assaulted… there was no question about that… the problem was more about who… well, not who, but rather, what, attacked her." Howard tried to explain, with some difficulty.
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