by Jean Thomas
The interview was so lengthy and exacting that Eve had no time to wonder what had become of Sam. Maybe he was relating his own version of today’s events in another area, most likely having reported all the rest earlier to his squad supervisor.
When they were finished, Agent Carter printed out the interview, gave it to Eve to read and asked her to sign it.
“Our supervisory special agent asked to see you when we were done,” the woman told her. “If you’ll come this way…”
Eve was led across the common area to another office where she was introduced to Frank Kowsloski, who rose from his desk and came forward to shake her hand.
“On behalf of the FBI, Miss Warren, I want to express my gratitude for your help. Will you take a chair, please? I think you’re entitled to know what’s been happening since Special Agent McDonough handed you over to Special Agent Carter.”
Sam was there in the office, too, half seated, half leaning on a low window ledge, his arms folded across his chest. There was nothing on his chiseled face that told her what he might be thinking or feeling. All he said to her was, “You okay, Eve?”
She nodded and seated herself in one of the chairs, prepared to listen to the squad supervisor, who had returned to his desk.
In the half hour that followed, while aware of Sam’s steady gaze on her, Eve heard more than she probably needed or wanted to know.
Information like how the flash drive and what it contained, together with Bud Lowry’s full confession and willingness to testify at Victor DeMarco’s trial, had convinced the federal prosecutor that the mobster would serve a long stretch in prison.
Also, how, the bureau had been in contact with Canadian authorities, who were ready to handle everything at that end regarding the bodies of DeMarco’s two thugs. The FBI was promising to reimburse the owners of the cabin, who turned out to be a pair of brothers from Winnipeg, for any loss or damage.
She was even told Bud Lowry’s motive for turning informant. It was a simple, all-too-common one. Lowry had a girlfriend he was wild about. A woman who had expensive tastes. Far too expensive to support on an agent’s salary. Taking huge sums from DeMarco in exchange for information had been the result.
None of it really interested Eve. The only question she had for the squad supervisor was a concerned “What about Ken Redfeather, our pilot?”
“His remains will be located and returned to his family,” she was assured.
“What happens to me now?”
“There’ll be a warrant for Victor DeMarco’s arrest, although I’m afraid it’s too late in the day for a judge to issue it. Which is why I’m placing you overnight in a downtown hotel under the protection of Agents McDonough and Carter. I won’t consider you safe, Miss Warren, until both DeMarco and his lawyer are made fully aware of the evidence we have that no longer depends on you in any way.”
Eve was too exhausted by then to either question or object to Frank Kowsloski’s decision. Nor, once they were settled in that hotel room, was there any opportunity for a private conversation with Sam. Not with the constant presence of Special Agent Carter.
Had Sam wanted it this way? She didn’t know.
When she turned in early for the night, it was with a sorrowful acceptance of everything she wanted and feared she wouldn’t get.
Why did I have to go and fall in love with you, Sam McDonough?
Frank Kowsloski appeared in the hotel room just after noon the next day to cheerfully tell her, “You’re free to go, Miss Warren. Victor DeMarco has been arrested and charged. He won’t be a threat to you any more.”
“Will you need me to testify at his trial?”
“I don’t see that as necessary, not with all the evidence we have. But we can always contact you later on, if it turns out you’re needed. Meanwhile, I’m sure Agent McDonough here will be happy to take you where you want to go.”
Eve wasn’t so sure about that. The mood between Sam and her had become awkward. He didn’t hesitate to take charge, though, when they left the hotel. “We’ll go back to my apartment, maybe grab some lunch on the way.”
He had already recovered her shoulder bag and its contents last night, bringing them to her in the hotel after stopping by Union Station to retrieve their coats. He’d also stopped by a cash machine to withdraw some funds. Eve had no reason to return to Sam’s apartment. There was nothing there for her now.
There never had been, she thought sadly.
Was it her imagination that Sam seemed relieved when she declined his suggestion?
“Where then?” he asked her.
“Since you’re offering, I’d appreciate it if you drove me to Charlie’s condo.”
Though he didn’t ask her why, the look on his face expressed surprise.
She answered his curiosity with a casual “I want to pick up the Gretel salt shaker. Alan Peterman could see no objection to my taking it away from the condo when I phoned him last night while you were running your errands. It’s all I want from the place.”
“Planning on reuniting it with your Hansel?”
Eve nodded. “Sappy sentiment, I suppose, but I’d like something of Charlie’s that has a happy association for me.”
They didn’t talk on the drive north. The atmosphere between them was still strained. Sam dropped her off at the entrance to Charlie’s building.
“No parking on the street here,” he said. “I’ll have to find a lot or a parking garage. You can wait for me in the lobby.”
“That might take too long. I have the key. I can go up and let myself in.”
Before he could object, she was out of the Mustang and on her way to the elevators. By the time he rejoined her, she was back in the lobby, bearing the Gretel.
“Lunch now?” he asked her.
Eve drew a deep breath and exhaled it slowly in an effort to find the courage she suddenly knew she needed. It was time, wasn’t it? Time to confront him with what he probably didn’t want to hear but what she was determined to communicate before they parted. That much she deserved.
“I don’t want to go to lunch. I don’t want to go anywhere with you, Sam. There’s just no point to it.”
He frowned, looking puzzled. “What are you talking about?”
“I think you already know. I think you’ve known for a long time. You just don’t want to admit it.”
He stared at her, either genuinely confused or pretending to be. “You’re not making sense. And this is one time those eyebrows of yours…well, they aren’t telling me anything.”
“Us, Sam. You and me. You have to have realized I’m in love with you. And if you imagine that was easy for me to say, it wasn’t.”
“Eve—”
“No, just hear me out, because I feel maybe you could be in love with me. But you won’t let yourself admit that, either, will you? After Lily, you’re afraid of any commitment.”
He was silent, suddenly hard to read. But there was something in his eyes that suggested to her his emotions were at war with each other. And that this terrible conflict was making him deeply unhappy. She should have cared about that. But she didn’t. She refused to let any of it stop her. It was time he heard the stark truth.
“Sometimes, Sam, I think you actually enjoy being sunk in your own misery, that you don’t want anyone trying to help you overcome that fear that’s holding you hostage.”
“That’s enough,” he told her, his voice husky.
“Not yet. There’s one more thing. Do you love me, Sam? Can you tell me that much?”
He couldn’t. He could only go on gazing at her, his eyes pleading for her not to press him any further. This time she took pity on him. Took pity on both of them, because she was suffering, too. She had gambled again and lost.
“All right, Sam. I’m finished now. I won’t bother you anymore. I’m going.”
“Where?”
“Back home. That’s another thing I did last night. I called Union Station. There’s a train to St. Louis this afternoon. I should just be abl
e to make it.”
“I’ll get the car.”
She shook her head. “I prefer to hail a cab.”
He stopped her as she started for the entrance. “You can’t have enough money left for a train ticket. Let me—”
“I don’t need any cash. You forget, it’s safe for me to use my credit cards now.”
She didn’t want any goodbyes. Didn’t want the risk of tears. Which was why, hurting though she was, she simply walked away, leaving him there in the lobby alone.
A numbness stealing over him, Sam watched her through the glass doors emerge on the sidewalk. She didn’t have to find a taxi. He was vaguely conscious of a cab arriving at the front entrance of the building to discharge three passengers.
Eve claimed the taxi before it could pull away. Seconds later the cab was gone, carrying Eve with it and out of his life.
Sam welcomed the mindlessness that continued to hold him in its grip as he found his way out onto the sidewalk, knowing it was the only way he could get through this thing. But somewhere under the haze that carried him toward the parking garage where he had left the Mustang, he became slowly aware of the hollowness inside him. As if something essential to his existence had been severed from his body, and he was just now beginning to feel the loss.
He had yet to reach the garage when he halted on the sidewalk, the fog suddenly lifting, defeated by a clarity that would no longer be ignored. Leaving him stricken with the realization of his stubborn, blind stupidity.
Eve had been right. She had been right about everything. He was a coward, unwilling to conquer his demons. Unable to let someone matter to him, too fearful of another loss like the one he had endured when Lily died.
Someone like Eve, who was smart, strong and not afraid to challenge him on every level. Who had everything he needed to make him whole again. Because Eve completed him as poor Lily never had, never could.
Dear God, why hadn’t he let himself see that? Why had he waited until now to freely, honestly understand he was the right man for her? That he didn’t just love her, as he had already realized days ago, but that, unlike what he’d felt for Lily, this was a love that was certain, vital in its intensity.
Eve Warren is the best thing that ever happened to you, and you’re letting her get away.
The hell he would!
Minutes later, risking another police pursuit, this time an unwanted one, Sam sped toward Union Station. Praying all the way he would reach the station before that train left for St. Louis. That he could convince her he was ready to risk his heart again.
He had no memory when he got there of just where he parked the car, not caring if it was in an illegal zone. It didn’t matter. Only Eve mattered, he thought as he raced into the station.
Union Station was a vast cavern of different levels, track platforms, refreshment counters and other assorted areas whose purposes he didn’t know and didn’t care about. Finding Eve in this frustrating maze was all that counted.
He paused only long enough to consult one of the monitors listing arrivals and departures. To his relief, the train for St. Louis had yet to be boarded. He still had time, but the minutes were counting down as he hunted for Eve. Where was she in all this thick, rushing traffic that seemed to frustrate him at every turn?
Sam was in a state of near panic when he finally located her in a small, obscure waiting room where the travelers had congregated, waiting to be called to the St. Louis gate. His heart turned over at the welcome sight of her. He hadn’t lost her yet. Wouldn’t lose her if his fierce determination prevailed, and he meant to see that it did.
Eve was parked on a lonely bench in the far corner, looking forlorn and at the same time incredibly sexy. Squaring his shoulders, Sam approached the bench. She was gazing into space, unaware of his arrival until he loomed directly over her. Only then, with a startled expression, was she conscious of his presence.
“Sam! What are you doing here?”
“Hoping to convince you not to board that train.”
“I thought we already had this conversation.”
“That was then. This is now.”
Her bag, coat and the Gretel shaker rested on the bench beside her. Sam moved them off to the side, making space for himself. Without waiting for an invitation she might refuse if he gave her the opportunity, he joined her on the bench, squeezing in beside her.
She didn’t object, didn’t try to slide away. He was ready to read that much as encouraging.
She turned to face him, a clear challenge in her voice. “And just what could have changed so suddenly between then and now?”
“Me. I’ve changed.” He paused briefly to regroup. “No, that’s not right. I didn’t change suddenly and all out of nowhere. That happened a long time ago back at the border, maybe even before then. As you said, I just refused to admit it. Not until after you walked away from me in that damn lobby.”
A warning look crept into her steady gaze. “Sam, I can’t take any more disappointments. I just can’t. And if that’s what this turns out to—”
“It won’t,” he promised, leaning toward her earnestly. “I won’t let it be that way again. For either of us.”
He reached for her hands, hoping she wouldn’t try to withdraw them when he clasped them between his own. To his relief, she didn’t.
“Eve, listen to me, I’ve come to my senses. It took your walking out on me to make me realize what an idiot I’ve been. Just how wrong I was.”
He went on to tell her what he’d suffered when she left him in the lobby. How afterwards on the street he’d realized that, if he lost her, he’d be losing his soul.
“I knew what I felt for you long before that,” he confessed. “But I was also convinced that you didn’t deserve someone like me. And now…well, now I think that I could be right for you. No, that I am right for you. That we’re right for each other.”
Sam was making every effort to win her back, but he couldn’t be sure that effort was working. She listened to him without comment, her head tipped to one side. Was it skepticism he read in her eyes? It scared the hell out of him.
Tightening his hands on hers, he doubled his effort. “Eve, with your help I know I can lick the demons that have kept us apart. With you beside me, I can do anything.” He ended his plea with what he feared was a lame “That is, if you’ll have me.”
There was a long silence.
“Eve, say something. You’re killing me here.”
“Is that all?”
“What more do you want? Name it.”
“Sam, there’s only one thing I’ve ever wanted from you. And I don’t have it. Yet.”
“What—” He broke off with sudden understanding. She didn’t have to say it. He knew what she needed to hear. With his heart swelling, he could feel a slow grin spread across his face. A grin of vast relief.
“Yeah?” he said. “My telling you just how much I love you?”
“That would help.”
“Then you have it. I love you, Eve Warren. Love you so much it makes me crazy wanting you. Satisfied?”
“Not quite.”
If she was asking him to prove it, he was more than ready to do so. And he did. Freeing his hands from hers in order to wind his arms around her, he drew her up against him and kissed her.
It wasn’t enough. Not caring what stares in the room might be directed their way, he hauled her up on his lap. Only then could he deliver the kiss he wanted. A kiss that was both tender and fierce at the same time, with the deepest love he was able to convey. To his joy, she smiled when he finally lifted his mouth from hers.
“So what do we do now, Sam?”
In no hurry to release her, he was thoughtful as he continued to cradle her on his lap. “I guess,” he said, “I’d better find out what the chances are for an opening in the St. Louis division.”
“Yes, you could do that. Or…”
“What?”
“I could think about opening that restaurant I’ve always wanted here in Chicag
o.”
“We’ll figure it out. Home is wherever we both are. Together, angel.”
“You called me angel. I’ve missed that.”
“You’ll hear it a lot from now on.”
“I’ll count on that, Special Agent McDonough. Let’s say for, oh, the rest of our lives.”
* * * * *
ISBN: 9781459220942
Copyright © 2012 by Jean Thomas
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