Happiness spread through Isabella’s chest like heat. “Me too. Text chats are all well and good, but they lack the personal touch.”
“Yeah, and I don’t get the porn qualities of your voice.”
She rolled her eyes. “Would you stop going on about my voice? It’s low and annoyingly masculine. Nothing to rave about.”
“What? What are you talking about, woman? Yeah, it’s deep, but it’s perfectly female, sensual, and, like…I don’t know…frickin’ dessert!”
Despite herself, Isabella felt her cheeks blush at the compliment. “Fine, preciosa. Let’s drop the subject. I’m assuming you are almost home? Will you call me on video chat when you get in?”
“I will after I’ve eaten. I’m making a masala frittata with avocado salsa, which takes a while, but I’ll try to hurry. Don’t forget to eat something yourself. I know you feed the kid but sometimes forget filling your own little belly.”
“Yes, yes. I have some leftover salad from lunch. I’ll have that,” Isabella said dismissively.
“Only salad? Fine, if that’ll make you feel full. What about coffee? Do you have coffee? Do I need to get Starbucks to do an emergency delivery?”
Isabella rolled her eyes again. “Calm down. I have coffee, and I’ve gotten the coffeemaker out and plugged in. I’ll be ready for my evening cup, don’t worry.”
“Oh, thank God!”
“You know, you really are exceedingly silly,” she said with a chuckle.
“Yeah, and you love it.”
Isabella closed her eyes, marveling at how true that was. “I do…I’m growing somewhat addicted to it, actually. But don’t let that go to your head. Call me when you’re ready.”
“Will do, boss,” Erin said cheerfully.
“Be careful in traffic.”
“Careful in traffic? Isabella, I’m not ten, for Pete’s sake. Talk soon, babe.” With that, Erin had hung up.
Isabella looked at her phone with a bemused smile. “Did she just call me babe?” she murmured. From the floor, she heard Alberto coo happily. She laughed and looked over at him. “She just called me babe, Alberto. I used to roll my eyes when your father called me that. And every man before him. Why does it make me so happy when she does it? Your mother’s ridiculous.”
She picked him up and kissed his head before heading to the kitchen. “Right, let’s get some salad and coffee going.”
An hour later, Isabella was sitting by her desk with her app open and Alberto snoozing in his baby bouncer by her feet.
In a few minutes, she’d be talking to Erin, and that made her struggle to catch her breath. Something had changed—a slight but significant shift. Was it the pictures of Erin’s body or her own reaction when her mother caught her talking to Erin? She simply couldn’t tell. The butterflies in her stomach were impossible to ignore, as was the feeling that their relationship was moving slowly, but surely, into something more physical.
She closed her eyes and accepted reality. She wanted Erin. Not just because of her body, the way she would want attractive actresses on TV, but for every little thing Erin was and did. She wanted to make love to her because of the way Erin enthused about things, how she talked to herself, and how she stood up for people. She wanted to be close to Erin physically, because somehow she’d crept into her mind and taken over most of her waking thoughts. She wanted to touch her, kiss her, and make her feel so unbelievably good.
Denial served no point. She could resist, of course. It was still too early for them to start something serious. But she could admit—to herself—she wanted Erin. All of her. From that sweet smile to her considerate actions to those damn sexy abs.
The call signal sounded, and Isabella’s face erupted into a smile she was sure was downright dirty. Erin had amazing timing.
When she answered Erin’s greeting, her voice was even lower than usual. The timbre she used to seduce. But for the first time in her life, she didn’t do so consciously. Accepting her desire for Erin had led her to it.
Erin, staring back at her in a wrinkled, lilac button-down shirt with snap fasteners, clearly noticed the tone of voice too, because her cheerful smile faded. She stared unblinkingly at Isabella. There was a certain deer-in-headlights look to Erin Black at that moment.
It was clear she couldn’t speak, so Isabella took charge. “I’m sorry, my precious beauty. Did I startle you?”
Erin licked her lips before replying. “Uh, no. You just, uh, sound really…uh, sexy. And your cheeks are kinda flushed. What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine. I was just thinking about that picture you sent me.”
It was very gratifying to see Erin blush. At least now she wasn’t the only one who looked flushed.
“So, um, it wasn’t too much, then?” Erin asked bashfully.
“No, I told you earlier, I liked it. Very much. Yes, it goes against our plan to keep our chats platonic, but if we’re honest, we’ve crossed that line quite a bit already.”
“Well, a toe or two over the line can’t hurt, can it? It’s just a little flirting.”
Isabella tilted her head slightly to the side, trying to read Erin’s expression.
“It was already a given that we were attracted to each other. We’ve already admitted that. We’ve just decided to wait to act on those…feelings. But that word has been occupying my thoughts all afternoon. Feelings. That word can mean a lot of different things.”
Erin tucked her long hair behind her ear. Her brows knitted. “I’m not sure I’m getting this.”
Isabella took a moment to choose her words. “I mean I’m attracted to you in two ways—emotionally and physically. The fact that I can’t easily separate the two tells me that what I feel for you is not just friendly admiration or lust, but something deeper, Erin. Much deeper.”
“What are you saying?” Erin asked, eyes widening.
The thumbnail image of Isabella showed a heavy-lidded eyes in a face wrought with lust. She was smiling as if she planned to devour Erin at any second. A pang of embarrassment hit her, and she quickly looked away from the little screen, focusing instead on Erin’s beautiful face.
“You know what I’m saying, preciosa. Please, don’t make me spell out what I feel for you. When that’s out in the open, it’s hard to stay even remotely platonic. Anyway, my point was that I wonder if we could be bold and try to separate those two sets of feelings for a while. Perhaps focus on the lust part for now?”
Erin picked up a mug, undoubtedly filled with coffee, and slowly took a sip. “You’re asking if we can be an online version of ‘friends with benefits’ until you’re ready for a relationship?”
Why did Erin have to be so direct and literal all the time? Isabella closed her eyes and rubbed at her forehead. “Yes, if we’re being simplistic, I suppose that’s what I’m asking. Do you think we can send sexy pictures and flirt like this without actually making a serious commitment? Can we just…have fun?”
A grin overtook Erin’s face. She put the mug down with a loud thwack. “Hell, yeah.”
Isabella laughed so loud she almost woke Alberto. “You sure you don’t want to think about that for a while?” she teased.
She was rewarded with Erin looking down shyly and then back up with a huge, dimpled, mischievous smile. That dazzling smile that Isabella was certain would be the death of her. A moment later, Erin ripped that lilac shirt open.
Isabella gasped as the snaps popped away and showed the pale skin underneath the light-gray bra that looked slightly padded. She was shamelessly staring. What she could see of Erin’s breasts looked so soft and enticing that she had to groan.
“Oh no,” she breathed. “Erin. I think I’m a…breast man.”
Erin laughed. “I thought you said the other day that you liked my long legs. Are you now saying that you’re more of a breast man than a leg man?”
“I
’d rather not be any man at all. Anyway. Hm. Could you put those away again, so we can continue this conversation eye to eye?”
“Nah, you’ll either have to stare at them or force yourself to look away. I like you ogling me. I can pan the camera down a bit so you see more of my abs, though. But the way I’m sitting isn’t very flattering for my six-pack, and you wouldn’t be able to see my face.”
Inside her head, Isabella cursed herself back into a controlled state. “No, I want to see your face, obviously. You could perhaps take your shirt all the way off, though. That way I could see your arms and shoulders as well.”
“God, I am so glad not to be the one who’s drooling for once.” Erin laughed again and took her shirt off with an infectious grin.
Isabella groaned in shame. “Flex your arms for me?” she asked weakly.
Erin obeyed, and Isabella tried to just casually look at the elegant movement and the expansion and contraction of Erin’s biceps and deltoids. She was failing and knew she probably looked like a lovestruck teenage girl. Still, Erin didn’t seem to mind, nor did it seem to go to her head.
“I’m so glad you like my body. I hope you’ll like the rest of it,” she simply said.
“Oh, I’m certain I will. Look at that delicious definition.” Isabella actually whined.
Erin stopped flexing and relaxed back in her chair. She licked her lips nervously again, but she was smiling, and there was still a hint of pink on her cheeks.
“I can’t help but notice that I’m the one showing skin here,” Erin said, not unkindly.
“Yes, and I’m the one making flirtatious innuendos. You flirt with your body, I flirt with my words.”
“Well, that makes sense, considering you’re a writer. But you know…it seems a shame not to let your body play as well. I’ve seen you stretch, remember? Your body looks gorgeous and fit, despite you saying you never work out.”
“I have a small appetite and was lucky not to gain much baby weight during my pregnancy. Despite eating a frightening amount of apple yogurt, I hasten to add. Neither did Mother when she carried me. Good genes, I suppose.”
She was proud of the fact that she was looking into Erin’s eyes now and not focusing on the way Erin’s blonde tresses rested against her sculpted shoulders and elegant collarbones.
“Got stretch marks?” Erin asked casually. “I have some on my inner thighs.”
Isabella blinked rapidly. There was an openness about how women discussed their bodies, even when discussing what society would consider bodily flaws. But this was coupled with clear erotic intent, and that was new to her.
“Oh, well, yes. Some on my lower abdomen, actually. You don’t mind that?”
“Of course not. It’s natural, and tiger stripes can be kinda sexy. To me, they’re like your body’s own version of tattoos or scarification. It makes a body look less like a blank canvas and more…real. Plus, they’re excellent for gathering up chocolate sauce when poured over a naked body,” Erin said with waggling eyebrows.
Isabella actually giggled. “Please don’t do that with your eyebrows. You look silly,” she said.
In a surprisingly coy gesture, Erin bit her lip. “But cute?”
Isabella hummed appreciatively. “Oh God, yes. Far too cute for your own good, young lady!”
“Hey, I’m not that much younger than you. How old are you, anyway? Are you going to tell me this time?”
“Fine. I’m 36,” Isabella replied.
As a treat for daring to say the dreaded age out loud, she allowed herself another glance of Erin’s physique, pausing at the pale mounds peeking out of the bra.
“Well, there you go. I’m turning thirty-one this year, so there’s only five years between us.”
Isabella opened her mouth to reply but was cut off.
“Wow,” Erin said. “I like the fact that you’re not even pretending not to stare at them anymore.”
That wasn’t fair. Isabella moved her gaze up and glared at her. “You’ve made it very clear that you want me to look.”
“Oh, I do. It’s just that I’m finding it hard to talk, because you’re turning me on.”
“Just imagine how I feel, having to look at that much irresistible skin,” Isabella grumbled.
“So, I think we can decide that you’re into women, then?”
Isabella nodded. “I think I’ll change my status in my head from bi-curious to bisexual, yes.”
“Or pansexual.”
“As in Peter Pan, or cooking pans?” Isabella queried.
She saw Erin’s chest move as she laughed and felt herself grow warmer. “I don’t think it comes from either. Riley identifies as pansexual. She told me that bisexual people are attracted to someone of any gender, while pansexuals are attracted to people without caring what they define themselves as. Like, they don’t see gender, I guess? Riley’s dated people who were transgender and intersex. And the last person she went out with was gender-fluid.”
“I see. Wow. That’s a lot of new information.”
“Yep. It can be really confusing before you get used to it. All those things that people throughout history felt they were but couldn’t put their finger on—they have names now. It’s a big relief for a lot of people who can finally find others like them and a word that describes them,” Erin said.
“Right. Well, I don’t know what I am, then,” Isabella said with a frustrated sigh. She’d always thought she was quite politically correct and in the know, but she was quickly learning that she was rather clueless.
Erin moved closer to the camera. “Hey, babe, don’t worry about it. All that matters to me is that you like me. You don’t need a label if you don’t want one, and you certainly don’t need to figure it all out right now.”
Out of the blue, Alberto burst out crying. Isabella pushed her chair back and retrieved the still half-asleep baby from the bouncer. She hushed him and rocked him.
After a moment, she heard, “What’s the matter, little guy?” from her screen and looked up to see Erin buttoning up her shirt and looking worriedly at Alberto’s scrunched-up face.
It was strangely touching and reassuring that Erin had immediately put her shirt back on when Alberto came into view, even if he was too small to see breasts as anything but food containers. The concern on Erin’s face at Alberto’s ceaseless crying touched Isabella too. It struck her that Erin truly cared about his wellbeing.
“I think his stomach hurts. I’m just going to do a tummy rubbing exercise that the doctor showed me,” Isabella said.
She put Alberto on her lap, on his back, and began to make circles on his belly. From the corner of her eye, she could see that Erin had leaned in closer to her screen to see what she was doing. Her chest flooded with warmth. It was clearly true that the way to every mother’s heart was through their children.
Erin worrying about Alberto didn’t completely shut out Isabella’s lust, but for the moment, it was overshadowed by the clear realization that Erin wouldn’t just be good for her; she’d be good for Alberto too.
“Erin. This doesn’t seem to be working. He’s too riled up. I need to take him in the other room and calm him, maybe feed him. Could you wait for me? Hopefully I won’t be long—fifteen, maybe twenty minutes.”
“Of course. Go help the lil’ man. I’ll be here when you come back,” Erin said just loud enough to be heard over Alberto’s heartbreaking wails.
Isabella gave Erin the most affectionate smile she could, then walked into Alberto’s nursery with the screaming baby held tight to her chest.
Chapter 10
Three Times Unbuttoned
It turned out to be exactly seventeen minutes before Isabella returned. Erin felt every one tick by so slowly, it might as well have been an hour.
She’d calmed down from their conversation. Truth be told, the sexual tension had started to wane the second
Isabella went into mom mode and Erin could hear Alberto’s sad little cries. His wails had made her feel helpless, and she had started to panic. What the hell would she do if he were to cry like that when she was with him? Would Isabella always be in the room? What if she went to the bathroom and Alberto started wailing? What would Erin be able to do?
Erin sipped a second mug of coffee, this one freshly made, and looked out the window. It was dark now, but she marveled at how long the daylight had lasted. Winter was coming to an end. She hoped that Isabella and Alberto would visit and see the beauty of New York in Spring.
When Isabella finally came back, her voice was subdued and tired. “Hello there. Sorry about that.”
“Don’t apologize. Is he okay?”
“Yes. He just needed a quick feed and to calm down. He’s sleeping in his crib now. I left the door ajar, so I’ll hear if he wakes up. That’s the joy of this apartment. It’s so much easier to listen out for him than it was back in that big house.”
Erin wasn’t quite sure what to say, so she merely nodded and looked at Isabella. She was as beautiful when she was solemn as when she’d been playful earlier. Like a work of art, Erin mused, amazed at how weak Isabella’s beauty made her feel.
“God, you’re pretty,” she whimpered before she could stop herself.
Isabella looked up quickly. A flattered smile blossomed and slowly grew.
Erin kept staring, unable to look away. Her gaze lowered to the skin of Isabella’s elegant neck, down to her shoulders, and then to her cleavage. It suddenly struck Erin that she could see more now than she could before.
Isabella was now wearing a button-down shirt too. Isabella’s was classy, fitted, and white with normal buttons, ones that were undone down to her white bra. Erin could see a clasp at the front and olive-skinned breasts tucked away.
She felt bad for staring. Considering Isabella had come back all serious and no longer flirty, she’d clearly just forgotten to button her shirt up properly. This wasn’t something Erin should sexualize. But these were Isabella’s breasts, and she was seeing more of them than ever before. Obviously, her body hadn’t received the memo that this was bad timing to be getting turned on.
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