Erin read it again and again, before she realized she was crying. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks in silence, and then the sobs began. She found herself half laughing and half crying; she was so overwhelmed, her heart felt like it was about to burst.
Smiling, she shook her head before getting some tissues to wipe her face and blow her nose. She sent a text to Isabella, knowing that Isabella checked her phone more than she did her e-mails.
Just read your dedication. That was so unbelievably sweet of you. I don’t have the words to tell you how much it means to me! I’m gonna start reading the book now, so you’ll get a longer message later. I f***ing love you, Isabella Martinez. You know that, right? <3 xoxo
When the text was sent, she sat back down and started to read Isabella’s retelling of fairy tales in the form of a fairy tale.
Erin fidgeted impatiently in her chair as she called Isabella a few hours later. She’d washed up and gotten dressed, but not bothered with makeup or doing her hair. She had to talk to Isabella as soon as possible.
After a single ring, Isabella’s face appeared on her screen, her brown eyes glittering and a smile leaving beautiful lines at the corners of her mouth.
Erin groaned, stupidly overcome with affection at the sight. “Goddammit, you’re so frickin’ gorgeous. Are you smiling because you’re happy to see me or because you know your dedication put fireworks in my brain?”
Isabella laughed. “Are fireworks in your brain a good thing? I’m smiling because the text you sent before you read my book had one ‘I love you’ with added profanity. And the text you sent asking for this call, had ‘I love you’ four times with even more profanity to express how deep your love is. That’s a lot of love. Who wouldn’t be smiling?”
Tucking some of her messy hair behind her ear, Erin felt herself blush a little. “Yeah, I might have been a little overexcited. Sorry.”
“Don’t ever apologize for your enthusiasm, Erin. You know that I love how passionate and unguarded you are. So, you liked my dedication and acknowledgment, then? I meant every word, preciosa. I can’t imagine I would have actually finished the book if it hadn’t been for you.”
“You give yourself too little credit, babe. I’m sure you would have. But hey, if I did anything to help this book get written, I’m damn proud. It’s an awesome read.”
“Really? You liked it?”
There was uncertainty in Isabella’s voice, something Erin knew her girlfriend would have hidden from other people. “I loved it!” she exclaimed. “I mean, I’m no expert. I don’t read that much. The last few weeks, my only reading material has been a few Dummies guides to running your own business. But I couldn’t stop reading your book. I actually read it in one day. That never happens.”
She saw Isabella try to hide a proud smile. “Well, technically, it’s not a book yet. It’s not even been edited. It’s just a manuscript.”
“Fine, okay, manuscript. Whatever it is, it’s really good.”
“I’m so glad you think so. Your opinion is the one that matters the most to me,” Isabella said.
Pride threatened to make a permanent home in Erin’s chest. In fact, it had just ordered some curtains and a rug. She’d never thought an educated, highly accomplished businesswoman and brilliant writer would think her opinion was the one that mattered most.
“You make me so happy,” Erin said on an exhale.
Isabella smiled as if they shared a secret. “Likewise.”
“I wish I could show you how much I love you right now. I want to hug you so damn close and kiss every little inch of you.”
“That sounds like heaven, preciosa. One day. One day, I’ll be right there next to you.”
“Yeah. You looking forward to moving to New York? I mean, you really like apples and this is the Big Apple. Get it?”
Isabella rolled her eyes. “Yes, Erin. I get it. Very funny. And, yes, I can’t wait to move. I became quite enamored with New York when we visited. I can actually see it being my home. Our home.”
Suddenly, Erin was very aware of every beat of her heart. She could hear it. The sounds of the noisy city outside her window faded away. She studied Isabella’s face and felt that strange thrill of looking down from a tall building—the panic that you might fall mixed with the thrill of excitement at your own bravery.
With a dry mouth, Erin sucked in a deep breath and stepped—no, leapt—into her future.
“I know this is dumb, because we don’t really have the finances in place, but…do you wanna start looking at places to live? I mean, we’d have to rent, because I can’t get a mortgage until work stuff is settled and I’m not bleeding money all over the place. But, renting would be okay for a while, right?”
“Erin, I…” Isabella began.
But Erin couldn’t stop. Her mind was whirring like a machine, and the words spilled out of her mouth at a dizzying speed. “I mean, I get that this would mean lots of moving for you and the kid. You only moved to Philly a few months ago, and if we find a place to rent you’d move there. And when we find a place to settle down and manage to get a mortgage, you’d have to move again. That’s a lot. So I get it if you say no.”
“No, that’s fine. I think…” Isabella tried.
Erin knew she should let Isabella answer, but she wanted to show her, before Isabella politely declined, that she knew how ridiculous an idea it was to do this now. She would understand if Isabella said no. Because surely, that was what Isabella was about to do. Isabella was the sensible one. Far too sensible to uproot a newly moved baby to come live in some rented little hole in New York with a woman who was broke. Especially if that woman is you, the voice in Erin’s head added.
So Erin kept talking. “And, um, yeah, I get why you wouldn’t want to move in with me until my financial situation is less shitty. And maybe after I’ve had more therapy so that I can sleep at night and spend time with Alberto without freaking out. Oh and—”
Isabella put her fingers to her mouth and wolf-whistled.
Erin stopped talking and stared at Isabella, surprised not only at the sound but that Isabella knew how to do that. “I’ve always wanted to learn to do that,” Erin whispered, deflated.
Isabella looked distinctly unimpressed. When the silence had lasted long enough to take root, and Erin still hadn’t resumed babbling like a self-deprecating brook, Isabella spoke in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Fine. I’ll teach you to whistle like that. We’ll start our lessons as soon as we find an apartment we can all live in. I suggest we start looking for places that are not too tiny, in safe neighborhoods.” Isabella looked to the side and tapped her fingers against her chin. “We won’t be able to afford anything extravagant, of course. But we only need one bedroom as long as Alberto can share with us and be relegated to the living room when we want to make love at night. I’ll start a spreadsheet to tot up our pooled incomes and expenses and see what we can afford to spend each month.”
Erin merely stared. How had it been that easy? She’d suggested something ridiculous, hadn’t she? Why had Isabella just gone along with it?
“You mean, um, you’ll come live with me?”
The question almost seemed to annoy Isabella. “Of course. I told you that night in the restaurant, I’m ready to move in with you, to commit to our relationship. We were only waiting for you to be ready too. Now you are. So, we’ll see what we can do with our financial situation and make it work.”
Calmly, Isabella sat back on her chair and looked down. The sounds of Alberto cooing in the background bubbled up from underneath the screen. “Alberto’s too young to care where he lives, as long as he has access to me and some toys. Oh, and your hair, apparently. I don’t mind moving again if it gets me closer to you. And farther from my mother is always an added bonus.”
“Yeah, I see why you’d want to get away from her. What about my therapy? Don’t you want me to get fu
rther with that first?” Erin heard how pitiful her voice sounded. She hated herself for it, but she had to ask. She had to get it out there.
Isabella frowned and tilted her head. “Preciosa, I love you. All of you. You are perfect to me. I don’t need you to have therapy for me to want to live with you. Nor for me to want you to help raise my son. Our son. Unless you mind me calling him that.”
Erin blushed. She struggled to think of Alberto as her son. She felt more like an awkward aunt than a stepmom.
“Um, no. That’s fine. I mean, if you are okay with that, then I am too,” she said with a smile.
The truth was that it scared the hell out of her. But her therapy was teaching her that she had to fight through that fear, because it was only holding her back. She wanted Isabella and Alberto. They were her family. That meant she couldn’t run off scared any time something freaked her out.
Her mind scurried back to the idea of moving in together. Now that they were talking about it, it seemed less ridiculous and more…inevitable. As if it had just been waiting around the corner for a long time like a fully finished painting just appearing on an empty canvas in one brush stroke.
They’d move in together, here in New York, and they’d do it as soon as they could. It felt so obvious now, and she realized that she wasn’t actually afraid. Well, not as much as she’d expected to be.
Alberto cooed again, louder this time. Isabella smiled and bent over to pick him up. Erin’s screen was filled with the woman she loved and the little boy she was growing to love.
Isabella pointed toward her iPad camera and murmured something in Spanish to him.
Erin made a mental note to learn some more of the language just as soon as she had the time. Alberto grinned toothlessly and reached for the iPad. To Erin, it looked as if he was reaching out to her, and she felt her heart tug with affection. She wanted him to be able to reach her, even if it wouldn’t always end well. Even if it ended with him accidentally pulling her hair or slobbering all over her fingers as he gummed them.
She wanted to be right there with him, even when he scared her with the wobbly chin that signaled the start of a crying fit. Not that he was crying much these days, she suddenly realized.
“Isabella. Is it just me, or does his tummy seem to be improving? He goes long periods without having those stomach cramps now, doesn’t he?”
Isabella kissed Alberto’s nose and then looked back at the screen. “Yes, he does. He only seems to succumb to it a few times a week now. Such a relief. The doctors always said he’d grow out of it, but I never dared to believe them. Perhaps he can sense that I am more content these days? Perhaps that lowers his stress levels somehow.”
“Sure. Or maybe he’s just growing out of it as his body is developing.”
“Perhaps. No matter what caused it, I’m glad he’s doing better. For the first time, I actually wish Mother was here.”
Erin wrinkled her brow. “Really? Why?”
“She always claimed it must be something I was doing wrong,” Isabella said with some discomfort.
“What? Why?”
“Because she never had that issue with me when I was a baby. And if she hasn’t experienced a problem, then it must be all those people suffering from that issue are doing something wrong. Simple Judith Martinez logic.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “Ugh. Well, thank goodness she’s an expert on everything.”
Isabella’s smile looked almost relieved. “I know. She even had the audacity to say that Alberto had gas because I didn’t burp him properly.”
“What the hell? I see you burp him all the time.”
“Yes, but Mother said I must be doing it wrong. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be ill.”
“Well, holding him upside down, shaking him, and shouting ‘burp, you little monster’ might not be the best way. You should really stop doing that, ya’ know.”
Isabella tried to glare at her but couldn’t help smiling. When Erin laughed at the mental image she’d just painted, Isabella laughed with her.
“No, seriously, babe. You’re a great mom. Don’t let her get to you. I mean, sure, that’s easier said than done. But you know what I mean.”
“Yes, I do. Thank you for the reassurance. And while I know you don’t believe me—not yet, anyway—I have to tell you that you’ll be a great parent to Alberto too. I’ve found that it mainly takes love, common sense, patience, and practice. You’ll be great.”
Erin hummed noncommittally. She swallowed her concern, rubbed the back of her neck, and asked, “So, we’re really doing this now?”
“Yes, preciosa. Unless you get cold feet, we’re doing this now. As I said, I’ll make up a spreadsheet to see what price bracket we should be aiming for. You think about areas that are affordable but safe enough. Then we’ll start looking for a place to live. All three of us. Preferably one with room for you to exercise a little at home. Just, you know…because it’s important for your job.”
Erin allowed herself a cocky smile. “Just to ensure I’m a good billboard for my gym, huh? That’s the only reason?”
Isabella’s voice was low and playful when she said, “Of course. I’d never ask you to do push-ups or squats just to watch your skin shimmer with sweat, your muscles ripple, and your cleavage move in a taunting rhythm as you breathe more and more rapidly.”
Erin felt her smile grow. “Well that’s a shame, because you’re the only person in the whole wide world that I want to objectify the hell out of me.”
“I’ll hold you to that. Frequently.” Isabella raked her gaze over Erin’s chest and shoulders to make the point, and Erin had to laugh.
“I’ll gladly work out at home, as long as you join me, Ms. Writer. And we need to get you back into running. I haven’t forgotten that running gear you had on when I showed you those back stretches. We’ll have the kid growing up in a home where exercise is just a part of life. Hopefully, that’ll make him think of it as something natural and not a chore.”
“Like I do, you mean?” Isabella asked with her eyebrow quirked.
“I didn’t say that, babe.”
“No. But it’s true, nonetheless.” Isabella shrugged and gave a half smile. “All right, let’s get down to brass tacks. You go get those calculations we made when you decided to buy the gym, and I’ll find my spreadsheets with my income and expenses. Let’s see what sort of nest we can afford to rent.”
Erin tried not to grimace at having to replace flirting with complicated finances. She tried very hard. She failed, of course, but Isabella kindly ignored it, and they moved on to the important calculations about their future together.
Chapter 33
Some Things Have to Be Painful
The changing leaves were painting New York in reds, yellows, and browns instead of the greens it had sported when Isabella visited back in summer.
Fall had set down roots in New York, and so had Isabella and Alberto. They’d all moved in together a couple of days ago, and the place was slowly starting to feel like home to Isabella. The apartment wasn’t perfect, but it was certainly better than being away from Erin.
Chris and Marie had beat them to the moving-in-together stage. The idea of Chris just working as her security had lasted about a week before they vowed eternal love. Isabella shook her head at the thought. In her opinion, those idiots had heads full of romantic notions rather than common sense. Nevertheless, it meant Erin now ran the gym without Chris’s presence. It was thriving.
With Erin at the helm and a little help from Isabella, some new marketing techniques recruited quite a few new members. Together, they’d also found cheaper providers for electricity and maintenance, helping to produce a healthier balance sheet.
Isabella didn’t have a lot of free time between caring for Alberto and the editing process for her book, but what time she did have she focused on helping Erin get settled in her new role. In return,
Erin helped with Alberto as much as she could, something she seemed more than happy to do—now that she didn’t believe her every action would scar him for life.
Standing at the window and watching the multicolored leaves, Isabella breathed a sigh of relief as she thought about how well Alberto and Erin were getting along now. They still had their wobbles when Alberto would start to cry or Erin would freak out because she didn’t know how to handle a situation. But it was always sorted out.
Erin loved singing lullabies to him and turned out to be much better at carrying a tune than Isabella, something she tried not to be bitter about. Whether Erin realized it or not, Alberto took almost as much comfort from her as he did Isabella these days. He clearly saw Erin as a secondary guardian and one who was extremely fun to play peek-a-boo with. He still adored playing with her hair.
Isabella looked away from the leaves outside, quickly glancing past the unfinished edits on her computer screen to Alberto. He was sitting on the rug, playing with a set of stacking cups.
He’d almost gotten the hang of how they worked, but most of the time he just chewed them or threw them around. Apparently, making adults fetch them was a hilarious game.
He looked nice in his soft linen shirt and baby jeans, with his tufty, dark hair combed down to lay flat on his little head.
They were expecting visitors soon. The two romantic idiots were visiting New York and were going to stop by for coffee. She was looking forward to seeing Marie again; she still hadn’t fully vetted Chris.
Tearing her gaze away from her adorable son, Isabella sighed to herself. There was no escaping it. She had to stop staring out the window or at Alberto, and go finish the edits of her twelfth chapter. Rolling her shoulders, she returned to her desktop and sat down with forced determination.
When Isabella opened the door to Marie and Chris, Alberto greeted them both with a long line of babbling. Chris played along, pretending he understood everything Alberto was saying, asking follow-up questions, and nodding along as Alberto made constant noises.
Coffee and Conclusions Page 28