by J. L. Drake
At nine in the morning, I hear a knock at the door. Keith always texts when he’s in the building. Standing on my tiptoes, I peek through the peephole and laugh, opening the door to Jake standing in a pair of fleece PJ pants holding an empty mug, his blond hair pointing every which way.
“I smell coffee,” he moans like he’s still asleep.
Opening the door wider, I let him in. “Are you sleepwalking?” I joke as I lock all five locks behind him.
His eyes are still slits, but I see him take in my bed on the couch and Cole’s shirt. “If I am, will you still share that delicious-smelling coffee?”
“Come on.” I wave him toward the kitchen. Jake plunks down on a bar stool as I move about, fixing us each a cup. “Cheers.” I clink my mug to his, and he grins as he sips the brew.
“Sweet Lucifer down in hell, what is this?” At first, I think he’s being insulting, but his face says otherwise.
I lean my hip into the counter and give him a look. “I add a little something to the coffee.”
“Savi, I hope you realize what you did,” he says with a smirk. “From now on, you are my morning date.”
I smile. See, Savi, progress.
Jake and I spend the rest of the day camped out under the warmth of my comforter. I’m totally at ease with him. He’s never once made me feel uncomfortable, and I figure if Zack trusts him, I can. We order pizza and watch a marathon of Louie CK standups until an hour before our shift starts. Keith texts a few times, and I assure him I’m fine because I am…at the moment. I’ve made a friend.
“Savi, can I ask you something?” Jake says, taking a wet napkin to his greasy fingers. “Who’s Logan?” I’m thrown by his question until he points to the back of my shirt. Oh. “Looks like a legit Army shirt, and I’m guessing you’re not in the service.”
“He’s—was my boyfriend,” I stumble, feeling that knife to the heart.
Jake nods and shifts so he faces me. “Was it serious?” I nod. “Is he still around?”
“Yeah, it just ended recently, so it’s still raw.” My voice is barely a whisper.
He smiles, leaning his chin on his hand. “You love him, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“It sucks to love someone but not be with them.” He sighs.
I feel like he may be referring to something in his life, but I don’t pry. “Yeah, it does.”
“Why do I feel like you have quite the history, Savannah…?” He waits for my last name, but I hesitate. He watches me for a moment. I can see him thinking, then his whole face brightens. “All right, no more prying today. We have to get to work. I’ll be waiting for you outside your door in forty-five. For the love of god, do something with that hair of yours!” He laughs and snags another piece of pizza as he heads out the door.
We make it to work on time, and the day passes quickly.
“You two look great!” Zack shouts, slapping his hands together. Jake and I are practicing our bar flare, and find we make a pretty good team. “Oh, Jake, your father called again.” As Jake’s face goes white, Zack quickly adds, “I told him you don’t work here anymore.”
“Okay,” is all Jake says in reply. So, Jake has a story too.
The phone buzzes in my pocket, but I don’t take time to look at it because I have a whole snowboard team taking up a table near the window. I grab the iPad and hurry over for the order. Thankfully, they all want the same thing, six pitchers of Bud Light. Once they are looked after, I head back to the counter where Don from last night is downing a scotch, neat.
Jake gives me an annoyed expression and hands me the guy’s receipt. “The creep wants you. He was pissed I made his first drink because apparently, you can fuck up pouring scotch into a glass…jackass.”
I roll my eyes, agreeing, but it’s all part of the business.
“Don,” I say with zero emotion, “would you like another?”
He licks his lips as he stares at my breasts. “Yes, I sure would.” He holds out his glass, and when I reach for it, he runs his free hand up my arm. “Such a pretty woman.”
Stepping away and getting a new glass from the bar, I turn my back while I pour. A strange feeling prickles up my spine. I look around then freeze as I see Cole standing by the door, watching. He’s in a dark dress shirt and pants, his suit jacket hanging off his arm. Slowly approaching the bar, he leans on the counter. All the while, his eyes burn through me.
“You gonna drink that, or am I?” Don’s arrogant voice breaks through the pull Cole has on me. I set his drink in front of him and reach out to the bar top for support.
Cole pulls at his tie, undoing it, and tosses it on the counter near my hand. I resist the urge to hold it up to my nose and draw in his intoxicating scent. Instead, I pour him a brandy from the top shelf and set it in front of him as I slowly raise my eyes to meet his stare.
“Thank you.” He nods and takes a long sip from the glass.
I muster up all my strength and try to act like his presence isn’t affecting my body. “Were you away?” I pick up the rag and dry a non-existent spill.
“I just came back from Washington.” He sighs, rubbing his head.
“Have you been home yet?” The words fall from my mouth.
“No, I haven’t been home yet.” His eyes met mine, holding me captive, his mouth wet from the brandy.
“You just needed a drink?”
He shakes his head. “Old habits die hard.” His gaze drops to my lips, and everything in my body begs me to lean forward. My tongue darts out as my lips scream for moisture. If we were alone right now, I know I’d give in.
“Sweetie, could I order some food?” Don asks, obviously irritated he’s not getting any attention. I close my eyes and try to snap out of this bubble. I turn to find Don waving a menu at me. “I’ll take a medium-rare steak, with fries and a side of slaw.”
“Anything else?”
He reaches in his back pocket, pulls out something, and leans forward, tucking his hotel room key in my cleavage. I toss it on the counter as I turn away, only to hear him chuckle. “You’ll give in to me soon, sweetheart.”
The mirror in front of me catches Cole’s murderous expression, but he stays in his chair.
Throughout the evening, Cole never leaves his stool, barely speaking to me, just observing. Don is extra flirty, which is extremely annoying. Jake is busy but asks if I want Zack to escort Don out. I say no because he’s already dropped at least two hundred in the last two nights. I can handle myself.
“Thirty minutes,” Jake calls out to me, which means bed in sixty-five. “Are you going to get any sleep tonight?”
“What?” I spin around on my heel.
“Come on, Savi, sleeping on your couch and your eyes puffy from crying. Don’t lie to me, girl, I know lack of sleep when I see it.” I sneak a glance at Cole, who is, of course, still watching and listening to us.
“Logan,” a voice calls out, and Keith takes a seat next to Cole.
Jake catches my eye, looks with one eyebrow raised at Cole, points a finger at him, then slowly moves it to me. “Ohhh, seriously?” I pull on his arm to get him to stop, pleading with him to shut up. He grins boyishly and gives me a slow wink. “I’ll go punch out for us.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, trying to tone down the blush I know must be there. I turn to wipe down the bar and see Zack approaching us, smiling at the guys as he gets closer.
“Savi, you’re doing great! Everyone loves you here.” Zack comes around the bar, high-fiving me. “I heard one of the customers is being a bit of a handful.”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I assure him.
“Who?” Keith asks Zack, ignoring me.
Zack leans against the bar. “He’s monthly, works for a sports magazine. Bit of a jerk, but nothing to worry about. Besides, Jake is watching over her, so she’ll be fine.”
Cole gets up and walks behind the counter to wash out his glass only inches from me. I can feel his warmth, and I sneak in a quick breath as I give in to the a
ddiction of his scent. As soon as the smell attacks my senses, I have to walk away. It’s like a kick straight to the gut. I head out back to my locker to grab my coat and change from my flats to my boots. I sink down onto the bench, feeling just how tired I am. The three-block walk home seems like ten.
“I don’t like you working here.” Cole’s body fills the doorway. He looks concerned as he leans his weight into the wall.
I stand and fling my bag over my shoulder. “I’ll be fine.”
He sighs. “Savi—”
I don’t want to talk about us right now; I’m too tired. “Do I have to testify in Washington?”
He pushes off the wall and takes a few steps toward me. I grip the strap on my bag to stop myself from reaching out to touch him. “Yes.”
My stomach sinks at that three-letter word, and I press my teeth into my lower lip as my chin begins to tremble. “When?” I ask and stare at the floor.
“Not sure yet, but Frank wants you there two days before so he can prep you.” His shoes come into view. He’s so close, and I can’t think when he’s this near.
“You’ll be testifying against Lynn too.”
This time, my eyes flick up to his. ’I’m not ready for this. I still haven’t dealt with the fact my best friend is the mastermind behind my kidnapping, the one who had a threesome with my father and a man I considered an uncle. My hand flies to my stomach as the room starts to tilt, and he reaches out to stabilize me. I step back, needing a minute.
“Let me touch you,” he whispers.
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I’ll fall.” I move around him and make my way back into the bar where Zack is talking with Keith, but I do catch his hiss.
“We’ve talked about that before.”
“Savi, why didn’t you come by the house today? I waited for your call. I could have come and got you.” Keith pulls on his jacket. “I almost came to get you anyway when I got your one-word text.”
“Laundry,” I answer then grab my tips from the bar and shove them in my pocket. It’s a lousy lie, but I’m too tired to think of anything more to say. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Zack.” I wave and head for the door.
Jake is waiting outside the door with a strange expression on his face, but as he sees how tired I am, he throws on a smile. His eyes move up over my shoulder before I hear Cole call out for me.
“Let me drive you back,” Cole says, coming up behind me and buttoning up his jacket. “It’s freezing.”
It is freezing, and my hands are already ice, but I have to be strong. Other people who left Shadows don’t have the Army driving them home after their night shift. “No, thanks. I find it helps me wind down.” Another lie. “Besides, Jake is waiting.” I point over my shoulder.
Cole glances at Jake, then at me. I can tell he’s not happy but not fighting me on it…that’s interesting. He steps forward and pulls off his scarf, wrapping it around my bare neck. I struggle not to immediately bury my nose and soak up the scent as he tucks a lose piece of hair behind my ear.
“I really tried to keep you out of all this, but I’m realizing I don’t have that much control over things.”
My heart squeezes to the point of pain. I know he’s trying, and I love him for that. “I know you did.”
“Text Keith or me when you get home,” he whispers then steps away as I slowly turn to face Jake, who is looking off, trying to give us some privacy.
I pull out the key and open the door to my brightly lit apartment. I’ve been leaving a light on so it feels like I’m coming home to someone. Once all the doors are locked, I toss my keys in a bowl and head for the shower, then change into Cole’s t-shirt and slip into an already made bed on the couch, facing the door. I’m so tired my eyes close immediately, but I only manage to get twenty minutes of sleep before something creaks in my bedroom, making my eyes pop open. I grab my cell from my bag and text Keith that I am home. I find myself writing a text to Cole too.
Savi: Home.
It pings a moment later.
Cole: Did you just get home?
Savi: No, I fell asleep.
Cole: Why aren’t you asleep now?
I hesitate, then go with the truth.
Savi: Heard something. It was nothing.
Cole: Something like what?
Savi: Just a noise, but it was nothing.
Cole: Are you able to get back to sleep?
Savi: Yes.
Cole: Text me if you can’t.
I pause, my thumb hovering over the send button.
Savi: I miss you.
I slowly delete each letter one by one.
Savi: Thanks, goodnight.
I want to text him to come over, but I don’t. Instead, I stare at the ceiling until I can’t take it anymore. Turning on the TV for company, I decide I might get a cat so I have something to cuddle up to. Aloof isn’t really cutting it. I look over at the fish floating perfectly still and staring at me.
I muster up the courage and creep into my bedroom and grab the little Army bear Daniel and Sue bought me for my baby. Suddenly feeling overwhelming sadness, I cling to it as I watch Friends until the sun comes up.
Chapter Two
My eyelids feel like lead as I force my aching body up off the couch to let in Jake, who is knocking at my door. It’s nine a.m. Giving me a once-over, he slips into my apartment holding a laptop with his “just be happy I’m not a twin” coffee cup balanced on top. I find it kind of cute that he always brings his own mug.
“I’d ask how you slept, but it’s pretty obvious you’re on night two of no sleep.” Jake settles onto his stool in my kitchen. I pour him a cup and one for myself. I can’t wait for the creamy liquid to hit my tongue. Lord, I love coffee. “I want to ask you something, Savi, but I don’t want you getting mad at me.”
“Okay,” I mumble, cracking four eggs into a frying pan. I pull out some fresh chopped peppers, onion, ham, and cilantro and sprinkle them into the pan, adding a little grated cheese and spice. I glance over my shoulder when he doesn’t continue and see him typing away on his laptop, so I decide to wait him out. When the omelets are finished, I divide them onto two plates and set them on the counter. They might not be fancy, but they look pretty good. Besides, I need protein badly; caffeine just won’t cut it.
“Is this you?” he says suddenly, turning the laptop around, showing a news article with a picture of my father and me with a dramatic crack down the middle and the headline “Rumor Mayor Fox Hired Cartel to Kidnap Own Daughter.”
I want to vomit, but instead, I pick up my fork and cut into the egg. As soon as my tongue touches the Jell-O-like substance, it rejects it, and I spit it out, very unladylike, on my plate. Hopping to my feet and shoving my dish in the sink, I lean on the counter with my back to him.
“So, I’ll take that as a yes,” he whispers, closing his laptop.
Tears! Stupid tears are flowing down my cheeks. I blame part of it on lack of sleep. I stand staring at the counter and hear him come up behind me.
“Savi.” He reaches for my shoulder and turns me ’to face him. He smiles at me, holding both my hands. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just knew you looked familiar, and when I heard your name and saw the SWAT type guys watching over you, well, I went with my hunch.”
“I-I can’t talk about it,” I admit, shocking myself with my honesty.
He closes his eyes and presses his lips together, taking a moment to think, then stares down at me. “When I was sixteen, my father came home early from work to find me and his boss’s kid having sex on the couch.”
“Okay,” I murmur, thinking that would be embarrassing.
“It was the first time he ever laid a hand on me, and he beat me until I stopped moving. He threatened my life if I ever saw Eddy again.”
My heart breaks at that moment. His father is an asshole too; he didn’t love him for who he was. All the vibes I have about Jake make sense now. He never hit on me because he is gay. “I play the single hottie from
L.A. because it works for me. The women pay good money to see this ass in jeans.” He laughs darkly and points at his butt. “But if they knew the truth, Zack would lose a lot of regulars, and I’d never do that to him. Zack’s too important to me. He’s the only one who knows the real me, and now you do too.” He sighs and gives me a wink. “A secret for a secret.”
I smile through my tears. “Thank you, for being a friend when I really need one.” I lean forward, giving him a hug.
Jake and I decide to head to the mall for some decorations to brighten my place up a little. We take his Prius since it has started snowing again, small flakes, which I know means we’re in for a lot of accumulation. The mall is quiet and looks like Cupid threw up all over it. I hate Valentine’s Day. I forgot malls decorate weeks before the actual event. After Jake drags me to every candle, picture, pillow, and kitchen store, we walk out of the mall with four huge bags of goodies.
Jake opens the trunk and tosses the bags inside, and I stop breathing.