by J. L. Drake
Heading into the night, the breeze feels good across my sweaty face. The nausea is passing, but I’m left completely drained. My stomach has been on a roller coaster of binge eating. My feet are moving, but my mind is dreaming about my pillow. My pocket vibrates and brings me out of my dreamy daze. I remove my mitten and yank it out.
“Hello?” I say without even looking at the number.
“Hey, baby, I was just going to leave you a message.” Cole’s voice washes over me, warming me momentarily. I stop to look into a toy store that has a red and pink display in the window.
“Hey, where are you tonight?”
I hear him shift in his chair. “I’m just wrapping a few things up. Been a long day.” He pauses. “I’m hard.”
I stop mid-step with a grin that makes all the tired feeling leave in a puff. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.” His voice is deep and dripping with need. “I’m thinking about that little scrap of material you call a work shirt. The way your smooth skin looks against the color. The way your breasts pop out the top, begging for my tongue to run along them. I hate that shirt.”
“No, you don’t.” I laugh a little as I run my finger along the window, tracing around a train that a tiny teddy bear is sitting on.
“Mmm,” he chuckles, “I wish you were here. I hate that whenever my office door opens, I have a moment of hope it might be you, but it isn’t.” My hand drops as I lean against the cold brick wall and wish he was here too.
“Sometimes…” I whisper, wanting to tell him I think it was a mistake to leave the house, that as much as I need to find myself, sometimes I wish I was back inside the comfort of its walls. I miss everything right down to the way it smells. A horn honks at a car waiting at a green light.
“Where are you?” His voice has lost its husky undertone.
I rub my head, the weariness creeping back in. “I’m walking home.”
“Why? Alone? Why now?”
“It’s nothing.” I sigh and push off the wall, starting my short walk home. “Zack overreacted. I ate something bad and got sick, so he sent me home—”
“So, you are alone?” I hear a door close and pull the phone away from my ear, squinting to concentrate on the sound. “Give me ten. I’ll be right there.”
I stop at a crosswalk. “By the time you get in the car, Cole, I’ll be walking into my apartment. I can see it now.”
“You should have called me, Savi.” His voice is quiet.
I yawn, and my eyes water. “Cole, you need to stop worrying about me. Believe it or not, I did keep myself alive for twenty-nine years.”
I hear ice, then a slow pour of liquid, no doubt brandy. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “I know you’re perfectly capable of walking a few blocks. But I’ll never stop worrying about you, baby. I’ve lost you too many times to allow it to happen again. Where are you now?”
I chuckle quietly. “Truthfully?” I glance at the stairs. “I’m waiting for the world’s slowest elevator because I’m too damn tired to walk up five flights of stairs.”
“You want me to come?”
“Always,” I respond without missing a beat, “but no, you enjoy your evening. Truly, I’m just going to shower and head to bed. Zack told me not to come back until I feel up to it, so I’m going to sleep in, and I’ll see you tomorrow at five for our date.”
“Well, don’t hang up with me until I know you’re inside, okay?”
“Okay.” I shove my key into the hole and unlock all the locks. When the door opens, I almost want to cry, I’m so happy.
“Hey, baby,” Cole says, sitting on my chair and holding a glass of brandy in my damn living room.
“How?” I ask, not really caring. I just want to be wrapped in his warm arms.
“Zack called me and said you weren’t well. I was already in town, and I was going to come by, but he said you had already left. I thought I’d surprise you.” He stands as I come over and rest my frozen cheek on his chest. His arms wrap me up, and I let out a sigh and a long yawn. “Why don’t you go get changed, and I’ll make you something to eat?”
“Okay.” I nod and peel myself away from him.
My shower lasts three minutes. I dry and slip into Cole’s Army shirt that I love, and then crawl onto the couch where my makeshift bed is made. Cole sets a cup of soup on the table along with some crackers. He sits beside me and encourages me to eat, but instead, I lay my head on his lap, pull the covers over me, and drift off to sleep with his hand combing my hair. It’s perfect.
“It had been a busy day.” His words pull me out from my fog. “We’d just returned home. We had found someone who’d been missing for six months. He needed to be hospitalized, so he didn’t stay at Shadows. I was in the middle of playing catch-up with my emails when John brought the file to me. It took me two days before I had a chance to open it.” He twists a piece of my hair around his finger. I’m so tired, I can’t open my eyes, so I just listen to his story.
“It was the middle of the night, pouring rain, when I decided to move to the couch to be closer to the fire.” He stops, chuckling a little. “This was back when Scoot wouldn’t leave my side. The moment I opened that file, your eyes held me captive.” His finger gently glides along my jawbone and trails up toward my temple. He makes my skin tingle, heightening my senses. “I think I stared at it for hours. Wondering what your voice sounded like, what your touch felt like, what your lips tasted like. I was completely consumed with your case after that. I turned down two assignments because I got a break on yours, and I couldn’t let go.” He stops talking, but his hand keeps moving. I almost drift off but fight it as I am enjoying his sudden openness. He seems a million miles away. “When I saw you lying in that bed, so small, and scared…I think a piece of my heart shifted out of place. I didn’t realize how strong my feelings ran for you…” He leans down, brushing his lips over my ear. “I’m scared.” His whisper nearly breaks me. “I’ve fallen for you, Savannah. Please catch me.”
I start to move—I want to hold him—when I hear him clear his throat. I decide to leave him alone, let him have this moment as I try to control my own emotions trying to surface.
I love this man.
I wake to bright sun blasting through my window, and it takes me a few moments to realize I’m in bed. But what’s odd is the sun is in a different place. I stretch my sniff neck to see the time and nearly gasp. Three thirty-two in the afternoon! What the hell? My hand runs along the opposite side, but it’s cold. I wonder when Cole left and how he’s feeling. My stomach grumbles, forcing me up and out of bed. I really wish it would decide whether it’s feeling better or not.
The bathroom still has his scent. I pull back the shower curtain to find his body wash resting on the shelf next to mine, holding my breath at the sight. It’s funny how something so small makes me grin like a fool. Why? Because to put it simply, it’s just…normal. I grab my phone off the nightstand and snap a picture. I attach it to a text message.
Savi: Thank you for giving me a normal moment. I love you.
The kitchen is spotless. He must have done my dishes from last night, and my temporary bed has been tidied and returned to my bedroom. I grab a banana and notice a note stuck to my coffee maker. I laugh, thinking he would know I’d never miss it here.
Good morning, my Savannah, there’s nothing better than waking up next to you. I won’t lie, I will be late for work this morning. I watched you sleep for about an hour. Have I ever told you you’re beautiful? See you tonight.
Yours ~ C
My grin makes my cheeks ache while I stick the note to my fridge so I won’t lose it. My stomach rolls, only this time the thought of eating seems pretty damn good. I open my fridge and grab everything I can.
“Why am I nervous?” I ask, chucking a sweater out my closet door. I’ve been through at least six outfits, and nothing is working.
“I think it’s sweet,” Jake says, coming in behind me and rifling through my clothes. “Here.” He holds up a red dress with long sleeves
and a crisscross front. “Wear this with your knee-high boots.” I study the outfit, thinking it’s actually good. “Always trust a closet gay. We know best.”
I laugh and snatch the clothes from his hand, turning around as I take my t-shirt off to slip on the dress. “What time is it?”
“Four fifty-five. Is Cole normally on—” The doorbell rings. “The man has a key but rings the bell. A gentleman after my own heart.” He bats his eyes at me.
“I’ll have you know Keith gave him a key.” I laugh, threading an earring through my lobe.
He points. “You want me to get that?”
“Please.” I go back to some last-minute prepping. I hear Jake make a joke about the flowers Cole must be holding. I take a deep breath and look in the mirror. “Okay.”
Cole is standing by the door, while Jake is prattling on about the weather. Cole is dressed in pants and a dress shirt. I know how much he hates to wear them, but damn, he looks sexy in business attire. His gaze finds mine, drops over my cleavage, and tumbles to the floor. A lazy smile appears, and my heart skips a few beats.
“Hey, baby.” He slips his fingers across his chin, circling under it, with the other hand stuck in his pocket. He slowly moves toward me like a panther hunting its prey, eyes dark and intense. His arms hook around my waist as he drops his lips to mine softly.
“Have her home by eleven. Lucky broad,” Jake mutters then shuts the door behind him.
Cole holds my hand to his lips. “I need to tell you something.” I look up at him and wait. “I got confirmation that Rodrigo is dead.”
“Oh, that’s—that’s, wow.”
I’m…I don’t know what I am.
Cole nods. “One down, one to go.”
“Three,” I correct him, thinking my father needs to be taken out. I grab my jacket and purse.
Cole wraps his arm around my waist, walking me to the door. “Okay, no more talk about that shit. Tonight is about you and me.”
I lean up and kiss him on the jaw, one of my favorite places. “Okay.”
“I can’t believe it!” Zack claps his hands as we walk into the restaurant. “Finally, you two are on a real date! Please come. I’ve saved the best table.” Cole helps me remove my jacket, running his hand down my back and swiping over the curve of my backside.
“This is going to be hard,” he growls in my ear. I smile and turn around, conveniently grinding my bottom into his stone-hard erection. I look over my shoulder.
“It already is, baby.” I bite my lip, fighting back the lust that’s battling with my rational side. We are in public. He sucks in a breath as I take my seat. He lets it out and slips across from me in the booth.
“Hi, Savi.” Adam grins and fills my water glass first. “Red’s a stunning color for you. Really makes your dark eyes pop.” My cheeks heat, and I glance at Cole’s face. He’s finding it funny.
Ass.
“Thanks, Adam.”
“Are you feeling better? Or am I going to need to buy you your own trash can so you can carry it around with you?” he jokes.
“It was nothing,” I say before I glance at Cole, who is studying my face. He can I see I’m lying. “Bad food too soon after the flu.”
“2005 St. Frances, one of my favorites.” Zack holds up the bottle to show us the label. Cole thanks him as he starts to pour the wine. “Adam, stop flirting. Table seven needs water.”
“Bye.” Adam grins as he walks away.
Zack laughs and shakes his head. “I feel for ya, Logan. You’re going to be fighting men off this one left and right your whole life.”
“Then I guess we’re even,” I cut in, and Cole rolls his eyes.
“Dinner will be ready in twenty. I promise, no fish, Savannah.” Zack winks and heads over to check in on another table.
Cole holds up his wine glass. “To troubled times that only make us stronger. To unexpected love that only makes us fall harder.”
“Well said.” I clink his glass and take a sip, swirling it around and over my tongue. “It’s delicious.” I lick my bottom lip, only to get a growl out of Cole. I look over and see his hungry eyes.
“Please don’t do that, baby.”
I look down to see what he’s talking about. “What?”
“That look and the way you lick your lips nearly has me ripping your clothes off right here.”
This right here is one of the main reasons I can’t get enough of Cole. He’s so animal. I love the fact that he’ll take me whenever, wherever. Not only that, but he tells me what he’s thinking without hesitation. This. Is. Incredibly. Sexy.
I twist the wine glass between my fingers. “How would you have me?” I ask so casually people around us would think we were chatting about the food.
“I’d flick up that dress and find you bare and lay you flat on the table. I’d spread your legs and dive in for a taste first. Then grip your shoulders and slip in verrrry slowly.” I can feel my chest rising and falling heavily.
“You like taking me from behind,” I remind him, encouraging him to go on.
“I do.” He takes a drink of his wine while his gaze sweeps the crowded restaurant. “It’s my favorite position with you.”
“Why?”
His grin has devilish written all over it. “It’s the sounds you make. They’re different, more animalistic. It’s sexy grabbing your hair and waist watching myself burying full tilt into your tight little opening. Your back curves, your head dips back, and your ass shakes when you want it harder.” He closes his eyes in an effort to get control, his jaw ticks, then he looks me straight in the eye. “It’s indescribable how much I need it.” I find myself panting right there across the table from him at Zack’s. In my workplace, no less!
I clear my throat and try to sort my thoughts as Zack and Adam serve our dinner.
“Filet mignon, with sautéed mushrooms and crumbled blue cheese, a side of roasted baby potatoes and fiddleheads.” My mouth is watering by the time he’s finished explaining. “Enjoy.” He nods before backing away and directing Adam toward another table.
The meat is so tender that my fork glides straight to the plate. I moan in delight at the first bite. The flavors swarm my taste buds, begging me to pair it with the wine. I don’t even notice Cole watching me until I tip my glass back and see his gorgeous smile.
“Aren’t you going to try it?”
“I’m glad you like it.” He picks up his fork and knife, taking a piece of the steak and placing it in his mouth. Cole might be a big guy, but he eats very politely. His parents have raised him well.
We go back to eating and making small talk about the town and its history. We’re acting like a normal couple. I love it.
“How’re Abigail and Doc?” I ask after our plates have been cleared. Poor Cole tugs at the collar of his shirt, and he finally just unbuttons it. “Feel better?” I grin.
“Yes.” He laughs and leans back against the seat.
“Why didn’t you just wear what you are comfortable in?” I reach over and take his hand. I trace circles over his fingers, noticing how small mine look in comparison.
“I need to make a good first impression,” he murmurs, leaning over the table and kissing the back of my hand. “I need to show you I can be more than just a country boy.” I slide my hand away, and his head flips up. I shake my head slowly, seeing something I haven’t before. Huh. “What?”
“Cole, I’m not interested in going back to New York. That part of me has died. The very thought of returning there makes me scared as hell.” He sighs and gives me a quick nod. I reach for his hand, grabbing his attention. “Honestly, Cole, my heart is with you. Ever since I met you, you’ve had it. You keep comparing yourself to something you think I am. If that’s truly how you see us, then you really don’t know me at all.”
He looks around to see if the staff is within hearing. “How do I know one day you’re not going to wake up and want to go back to city life? That’s not me. I can’t do it. I need my mountain.”
“An
d how do I know that one day you’re not going to wake and fall out of love with me?” I counter.
“You can’t stop loving a piece of yourself, Savannah. You are here.” He points to his chest, making my heart want to leap over the table and join his. “Come on.” He stands and offers me a hand. He helps me with my coat and leads us out of the restaurant.
His fingers thread through mine as we walk along the sidewalk that’s now dusted with fresh snow. Though it’s not Christmas, the street is still lined with white twinkle lights, making the town sparkle. He stops us at a window. “You remember this place?”
“Yes.” I point to a box now showing a cross necklace. “It was right there. I wear it every day.” I pat my chest where it rests against my skin. I turn and point down and across the street. “And right there is where I first met Christina, and you told her we were engaged. I’m not going to lie, that was pretty damn fun.”
“Yes, it was.”
I pull him down so his lips meet mine and feel him tug me closer. He’s warm and tastes like wine. I moan when his tongue massages mine. Snow starts to fall harder, pricking my face and making me shiver.
He clears his throat and wraps an arm around my waist, encouraging me to walk with him. I tuck myself in close, thinking how happy I am when we are together. Things seem to make sense, and so much of my worry floats away when I’m wrapped in Cole’s arms.
“Want to get a coffee?” he asks, nuzzling my head with his cold nose. He nods toward a tiny coffee shop across the street. I spot his SUV and reach in his pocket and pull out his keys.
“I actually think I’d like to get back to my apartment,” I say, dangling the keys. His eyes darken and he snatches them from my fingers. I laugh as he hurries me over and into the shelter of his truck.
The short drive to my place has me nearly crawling out of my skin. I feel like if his hands aren’t on me in a matter of seconds, I’m going to lose it. He pulls into the parking lot toward the back, but when he goes to open the door, I stop him.