“Or you could meet in the middle and watch Princess Bride.”
I jumped at the masculine voice coming from somewhere over my head.
Bam was home.
Adrenaline sang through my bloodstream, and I tried to scale back my excitement. Bam had checked my ego earlier today by calling our scorching kiss a mistake. But then came that amazing little speech that left me all kinds of confused. He liked me but didn’t think he was worthy of me? I’d turned that over and over in my head the entire time he’d been gone. It was sweet and charming and the kind of thing I thought only happened in movies.
And also a big load of horse crap.
I wasn’t anyone special. Heck, I worked as a cocktail waitress in a bustier and a garter belt, for crying out loud. If anyone could and did deserve better, it was Bam. Over the past two weeks I’d found him to be funny, protective, and so unbelievable hot it was criminal. He made me realize that my little no-bikers-ever rule was more than a little shortsighted. And maybe a reaction to my grief over losing my father. They were the kind of guys I’d been around my whole life. They were the kind of guys who banded together when stuff got tough. And as Bam had showed me over the past two weeks, he was the most protective, kindest, and hottest of the bunch. I wanted to give him a chance.
If only I could convince him that he was worthy of a chance. Unfortunately, I had no idea where to start. I really needed some brainstorming time with Sydney, but instead I watched mindless movie after mindless movie with Hatchet. I couldn’t get away from him to call her, and every time I started a text he was looking over my shoulder, wanting to know what I was doing and who I was talking to. I’d have to figure out what the hell to say to Bam on my own.
My belly was a squirming mess of butterflies as I turned on the couch and smiled tentatively at him.
The expression he gave me in return was enigmatic. I had no idea what he was thinking. The guy could be a poker champion.
“Shit, I’m glad you’re home, man.” Hatchet stood up and grabbed his gun off the coffee table. “If I have to watch another chick flick here, I’m gonna be the one to go insane. How’d shit go with the Russians?”
Bam shoved his hands into his pockets as his eyes flickered to me, then rested on Hatchet. “About like you’d expect. Threats were made, guns were drawn, but I think he got the message. You taking off?”
“Yeah, if you’re all good. I thought I’d swing by the clubhouse and see who’s hanging out.” Hatchet shoved his gun into the back of his waistband. A frown wrinkled his forehead as he looked between me and Bam. “I can give Amber a ride home if ya want. It’s kinda on the way.”
Between my jittery self, Hatchet’s urgency toward leaving, and Bam’s brooding hotness, no one was comfortable. Apparently, Hatchet was proficient at reading a room—the tension in the apartment was high, and my house was not remotely on the way to the clubhouse.
Bam turned and stared at me for a long moment. I still didn’t know what was on his mind. Was he thinking about the Russians? Or what had happened in his apartment between us before he left? Either way, the expression on his face wasn’t encouraging. His eyes were serious and not a hint of a smile curved his straight lips.
Wanting to get out before he not so subtly kicked me out, I stood up and brushed my sweaty palms on my pants. “I just need to grab my shoes, and we’ll get out of your hair.” I crouched down to search for my shoes under Bam’s couch as I continued to babble. “Thanks again. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you about…all this. But I swear I learned my lesson. If anyone ever sends me weird pictures or body parts again, I’ll—”
I broke off in a gasp as someone grasped the back of my arm. Peeking over my shoulder, I saw Bam bent down over me with his hand on me.
“Which is why you’re not going home with Hatchet. You and me need to have a little conversation and figure a few things out.” Bam kept his hand on my arm as he helped me back up. “You can head on out, Hatchet,” he said without taking his eyes off me. “I got her from here.”
Hatchet growled something under his breath. “You sure about that, Brother?”
The intensity in Bam’s gaze increased, but he still didn’t look away from me. “I’m sure.”
I had no idea what that meant, but judging from Hatchet’s groan, it wasn’t good. Still, after a beat, Hatchet said goodnight and let himself out of Bam’s apartment.
Leaving the two of us alone and locked in a staring contest.
I didn’t want to be the one to blink first, but I had no idea what I was still doing here or why we were locked in this intense stare-off. I bit my lip to hold the storm at bay, then lost as my babbling streamed out. “I really am sorry. I had no idea what I was getting into when I went to Howl that night. And I should’ve told you the second that first picture showed up. I’m so sor—”
Bam placed a finger on my lips. “I know. I believe you.”
I nodded slightly with his finger still on my mouth. He didn’t move, and I didn’t, either. We just stood there staring at each other in silence.
Finally, after what felt like forever, he slid his finger from my lips to my jaw and cupped my chin in his hand. Keeping his eyes locked with mine, he bent down slowly until his lips were a hairsbreadth above mine. After a beat he closed the distance and kissed me.
He’d given me ample time to refuse, to demand to know what he was doing, or to back away. Instead I wrapped my arms around his back and held on as his lips took mine. His tongue prodded at the seal of my lips, and I parted them to his onslaught. I groaned softly as his tongue darted in and teased mine. My breath left me in shuddering gasps. The tease of his tongue and the soft slide of his lips against mine had my whole body tingling. I arched up against him and buried a hand in his long, thick, golden hair.
Bam grumbled something against my lips and pulled back only to rest his forehead against mine. His breath fanned hotly against my face. I wanted to ask him what had changed his mind—if he had changed his mind—but I couldn’t form the words.
Bam stepped back and held out a hand. I didn’t even need to think about it. My hand slid into his before it was fully outstretched.
Which seemed to concern Bam. He squinted at our joined hands, then tilted his head as he looked into my eyes. His voice was more of a rumble when he finally spoke. “You sure?”
I nodded confidently even as my stomach fluttered. “Yes.”
“Well, all right then.” A light gleamed in Bam’s eyes, and before I could wonder at it, he used our joined hands to tug me to him. I jerked off balance, and he used the momentum as he ducked and put his shoulder into my belly. The room whirled around and my hair obscured my vision as I found myself hoisted over his shoulder.
“Bam! Oh my god. Put me down.” I laughed, torn between glee at his lightheartedness and irritation at his high-handedness.
Bam just laughed as he walked down the hallway. I bounced against his shoulder, and the only view I had was of his fantastic rear flexing and the blurry outline of the carpet below. My hands had been gripping his sides but after a beat I let them wander down to that perfect plump, flexing ass. Christ, he was a work of art.
“Ack!” I shrieked as the room whirled around me for the second time, and I landed with a bounce on Bam’s bed.
Bam stood at the foot of the bed and eyed me as he toed off his boots. I bit my lip and stared back for a second before I lost my nerve and turned my eyes to survey his room. It was surprisingly sparse. The walls were empty of any photos or posters. A single dresser stood opposite the bed with some loose change and a few crinkled receipts on top. One narrow closed door, no doubt leading to a closet, was on the next wall. And that was it. Literally nothing else aside from the bed I was lying on. And the bed was just as generic as the rest of the room. He had a dark blanket, dark sheets, and two pillows. No personality whatsoever. The only nice thing I could say about the bed was that
it smelled like him. If I were honest, I’d admit that I really wanted to lie down and wallow in the scent. Leather, bergamot, and Bam. It was intoxicating. And heady.
And okay, I might just be a smidge nervous.
I’d taken so long looking at his room, I was afraid to meet Bam’s eyes again. He had to know that I was freaking out. I think I was putting out such huge vibes that the people in the next apartment had to know that I was freaking out. But he didn’t say anything or do anything to get my attention. I could see his outline in the corner of my eyes. He’d gotten his boots off, and that was it. He just stood there.
After a deep and shaky breath, I bit my lip and looked up at him. Bam stared back at me with that enigmatic expression again. I still didn’t know what he was thinking, but, God, he looked so amazing. Gorgeous and built and just everything I ever thought I wanted in a guy. And he’d been right in front of me this whole time.
I could do this. I wanted to do this.
Finally Bam spoke, his voice soft in the mostly dark room. “Nothing has to happen tonight.”
I shook my head. “I’m just nervous. I want to be with you. I want you so, so much.”
With that enigmatic expression like a shield hiding his thoughts from me, Bam surveyed me. “Do you understand what this means? What will happen if we sleep together tonight?”
“Um, I know all about the birds and the bees.” I laughed nervously as I sat up. “We had that session in health class where we watched a video and everything.”
A sparkle lit Bam’s eyes as a small smile curved his mouth. “Good to know. I meant that this won’t be a one-time thing. I can’t sleep with you and not have it mean something.”
“Wait a minute. Isn’t that my line?”
Bam sat on the edge of the bed next to me as his shoulders shook with his low, husky laugh. “Fuck me. This is why I keep my mouth shut. I always fuck shit up.”
“No, don’t.” I reached out toward him and clasped his hand in mine. “It’s sweet that you have standards. I respect that.”
“I don’t have standards.” Bam closed his eyes and bit out a curse. “I mean I have standards—clearly—but that’s not what this is about. I just—Fuck, why is it so hard to get words out?”
“Sounds like you might be out of practice. You know, if you’re not feeling it, we can always just cuddle.”
“Christ, when did you get to be such a smart-ass?” Bam chuckled.
“I’ve always been a smart-ass. I was just hiding it behind my raging paranoia and rampant stupidity.”
“Hey now, don’t talk that way about my girl. If you keep that up, you and me are gonna have a problem.”
My heart raced at the his girl reference. To be honest I hadn’t really thought much beyond tonight. I had no idea Bam had those kind of feelings about me. It was heady and exciting, and if I kept thinking about it, I might just self-combust. I ducked my head as I smiled. “Okay. Good to know.”
“It’s just that…” Bam sighed as he stared as his hands like they might hold the answer. “You’re not the kinda girl a guy like me can just screw around with. You deserve more. Honestly, you deserve better than a degenerate asshole like me, but I’m a greedy son of a bitch.”
“Hey, don’t you talk that way about my guy. If you keep that up, you and me are gonna have a problem.”
Bam bumped his shoulder against mine. “Touché.”
“So what you’re saying is if we do this—sleep together tonight—we’ll be…exclusive?”
“Exclusive. Together. You’ll be my property. I’ll stand up at the next club meeting and claim you as my woman. You all right with all that?”
“I-I-I I guess.” I blew out an unsteady breath. “To be honest, I haven’t given what happens tomorrow much thought. I’m still worrying about what happens next.”
“You mean here.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the bed. “Between you and me?”
“Yeah, uh, there’s something I need to tell you.” I gulped. It felt like the words were stuck in my throat. I’d been waiting years for this moment. Was it a mistake to tell him? God, I’d never been so scared in my life.
I laughed nervously. Okay, that last thought was a little bit of hyperbole. All I had to do was think of what had brought me to Bam’s apartment today in the first place to put this whole thing in perspective. Severed tongues were a hell of a lot scarier than confessing this to him.
“What’s going on? Are you…okay?”
And now he thought I had an STD. I groaned and fell back on the bed as I covered my face with my hands. This was the day that just kept on giving. “No! I mean, yes, I’m okay. It’s just…It’s just I’ve never…”
“You’ve never been with a biker?” Bam blinked at me. “You know we’re like other guys, right? Same equipment and everything. Nothing strange, although I know a few of the guys have piercings. We can talk about that later if you want.”
“Oh my god.” Was he seriously that thick, or was he just screwing with me? I peeked through my fingers. Bam stared back at me with that serious expression of his. Who could tell with that look? I groaned. “Really? Are you screwing with me? You don’t know what I’m talking about?”
Bam’s brow wrinkled. “I don’t. Is everything…okay?”
I covered my face with my hands again and groaned. I felt like all of me was laid out for him to look at and inspect and judge. This was so very embarrassing. I never should’ve started this.
“Amber? Are you okay? I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything. We could just talk or watch a movie or—”
“I’ve never done this before. Okay?” I cut in with a shout. “I’m a virgin.”
Chapter 13
Amber
The words hung there between us and seemed to echo in my mind.
I’m a virgin. I’m a virgin. I’m a virgin.
And still Bam didn’t say anything.
Peeking between my fingers, I found him staring at me with his mouth open and eyes wide in shock. After a beat he closed his mouth and gave a soft laugh. “Very funny. So really, what is it? Do you have a bum knee or something? Maybe an extra toe?”
I pushed up until I was sitting up and glared at him. “You’d prefer I have an extra toe to me being a virgin? Seriously?”
“Wait, you’re serious? Fuck me. Do you have any idea what this means?” Bam closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath. The only word I could make out was ass.
Good. At least he could see that he was behaving like one.
“Yes, it means that I haven’t had sex with anyone before. Why, is that a deal breaker for you? You’d rather I’d been with tons and tons of guys? Well, I’m sorry. It’s not like I’ve had the chance, ya know. I had my dad breathing down my neck all through high school. He had all the guys in my class petrified to even come near me. And then I was too busy working to meet anyone worth my time. The few guys I did meet were tools. But believe me, had I known that this was the way you were going to react, I would’ve slept with that skeevy guy who hit on me at work last week and solved the problem of my stupid, pesky virginity.” I shook my head when Bam didn’t say anything. With a sigh, I pushed myself off the bed and stood in front of him. “You know what? This was a mistake. I’m just gonna go.”
“Kitten, don’t.” Bam grabbed my arm before I could take two steps. “I’m sorry, okay? It’s just…You have no idea the pressure this puts on me. It was already going to be a big deal for the two of us to be together. But this?” Bam shook his head as he muttered to himself. “The guys aren’t ever gonna let me live this down.”
Only this time I was close enough to make out his words. I pushed him away. “You’re gonna tell the guys? Are you fucking serious? Now I really am leaving.”
“You mean they don’t know?”
“Why would they know? Are you high? Because th
at’s the only explanation I can come up with to explain this whole conversation.”
“You’re Stitch’s little baby girl. They’ve watched over you your entire life. You do realize that I’m gonna get my ass handed to me by most—if not all—of the club once I claim you, right? You being a virgin is like the cherry on top of the ass-kicking cake.”
My heart stuttered in my chest. They were going to jump him? Because of me? “W-w-why? Why would they do that?”
“Because you’re Stitch’s little baby girl. And according to Tank and Axle and Reb and I’m sure a whole bunch of others, you’re too good to waste on a punk like me.”
I closed the distance between us and reached up to brush his hair out of his eyes. Resting my hand on his cheek, I smiled into his gorgeous eyes. “You are the best thing to happen to me in over a year. I have never felt as safe as I did when you were following me through the parking garage at work or giving me a ride on your bike. And if those guys in the club can’t see that you are a fantastic, caring, worthy man—” I shrugged. “Then fuck them.”
During my little impassioned speech Bam’s eyes turned from frosty to soft with an inner heat. He turned his head and brushed his lips against my palm. “Why bother, when I’d much rather be fucking you?”
My heartbeat picked up as I felt a new pulse point throb between my thighs. But given the way we’d seesawed for the last few minutes, I wanted to make sure he wasn’t having any doubts. He had so much on the line just by being with me. I looked up into his beautiful gray eyes and whispered, “Are you sure?”
“I think that’s my line,” Bam murmured back before he ducked his head and took my lips in the sweetest, gentlest kiss I’d ever experienced. Still cupping my face with one hand, his other hand slid along my back and pulled me to him, until my body was flush against his as he deepened the kiss.
Immediately I felt the hard, pulsing outline of his cock pressing against my belly. I went a little light-headed from the combination of sensations and the idea of that huge part of him pressing inside me later. Oh God, it’d never fit. Maybe I should’ve picked someone a little less…a little less. This was never going to work. What had I gotten myself into?
Rough Ride Page 13