“You sure took your goddamn sweet-ass time,” Jackson muttered, then reddened as Ruslan sent him a glare. “But, uh, sorry about shooting at you.”
“Wait,” Amber said. “You’re still having me followed? Almost a month after we last talked? After I told you that I was happy that I was with Bam? That’s…That’s insane.”
“That’s how much I want you, moya zvezda.” His voice grew husky as he continued. “That’s how much I want to protect you. I would kill—and have killed—for you.”
“I can’t— Do you really think that’s going to be the thing that makes me leave Bam for you?” Amber asked incredulously. “He’s been doing that for months for me, because of you. He’s been protecting me since before we were an item. Because that’s the kind of guy he is. He wasn’t doing it for payback or to get some. He did because it was right, and I was scared. And you were the one who scared me. You were the one who drove me into Bam’s arms. So thank you for that. Because if it weren’t for you—”
“Kitten?” I interrupted as the room swam alarmingly around me. Bile tickling the back of my throat.
“Just a second, honey.” Amber patted my chest. “I wanna tell this maniac off for once and for all.”
Brittany cut in, sotto voce. “Maybe it’s a bad idea to piss off the Russian with a gun who just saved our lives.”
“Mom, I got this.”
I grunted. “Okay…it’s just—”
And that was the last thing I could remember right before everything went dark.
Chapter 25
Amber
“Bam!” I shouted as he keeled over right in front of me. I tried to catch him, but his behemoth body was too big and heavy. Instead he landed on me, pinning me to the floor. “Mom! Jackson! Help!”
There was a flurry of action in the room, but I couldn’t see what anyone was doing. Bam’s face was frozen and slack above me. My heart in my throat, it took a few moments for me to realize that he was still breathing. He’d just passed out. He was breathing. He was alive.
For now.
The thought haunted me as they shoved his prone body off me and onto his back. I pushed myself to my feet and stared down at Bam. The bandage wrapped around his right arm was bright red and dripping with blood. He was losing too much too fast. Oh God. Oh God. All I could do was stare at the proof that he was slipping away from me. It felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean. Sounds were muffled and far away. Everything except the drip of Bam’s blood on the linoleum floor.
“Amber!” My mom shouted two inches from my face. “Get your shit together! We gotta get Bam loaded in the car and down the fucking mountain before he bleeds to death!”
“Right. Okay.” I muttered.
“No, keep him here.” Ruslan’s accented voice butted in.
My mom turned, scooped up Bam’s gun from the floor where he’d dropped it when he fell, and faced down the Russian. “We’re not going to let him die to clear your way into my daughter’s pants. Either help us or get the fuck out of the way.”
“What happened to not pissing off our savior with the gun?” Jackson asked in his typical smart-ass way.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I shouted. “My boyfriend is bleeding out on the floor, and you all are bickering? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Our family doctor is on the way. He’ll be here shortly to assess the situation.” Ruslan paused and raised an eyebrow. “In the future, if your…pants are free, I’d appreciate a phone call.”
I stared at him, stupefied that he still—after everything I’d shouted at him and everything that’d happened—he still wanted to be with me. I couldn’t wrap my brain around it. It was too much. I wasn’t worth this amount of fuss. Bam had taken two bullets protecting me. This crazy SOB had shot someone for me. Why? This was insane. This couldn’t be my life.
Two men I’d never seen in my life wearing formal suits crowded into the room, pushing me away from Bam’s side and muttering in guttural Russian. A moment later they hoisted Bam up and carried him down the hallway to where I guess the bedrooms were.
“If you ever need anything in the future, please call me, moya zvezda.” Ruslan held out a business card. “I wish—” Ruslan grunted and clutched his chest as he fell to his knees. His eyes took on a vacant expression as he collapsed in the doorway.
Jackson yelled something, but all I heard was my heartbeat in my ears. And then, suddenly, a huge biker I’d never seen before stood in the open doorway with a handgun pointed at my head.
I opened my mouth to scream as guns exploded all around me. My mom fired from the floor a few feet from me. There had to be more, but I couldn’t look away from the strange biker as his body jerked as bullet after bullet pierced him. He collapsed on the floor next to Ruslan, displaying the logo of the Wild Riders MC on the back of his vest. There was another flurry of action as more suited men swarmed the room and carried Ruslan’s lifeless body out the front door.
My mom bent in front of me and said something, but I couldn’t hear anything aside from the ringing in my ears. That underwater sensation came back to me as I watched a few suits cart off the biker’s body. All I could do was look down at the red stains on my hands. Bam’s blood. And I remembered the night, almost a year ago, when my mom came home, starring at her hands. I would hear later that Dad had died in her arms, bleeding out in the parking lot. When I saw her later, she’d been clean of blood, unlike me now, but I’d known something was wrong. She’d looked shattered. And that was when I knew.
That was the night when everything in our lives had changed.
And if this kept going—the way it was going—it was only a matter of time before that was me. If it wasn’t me already.
“Amber? You want to clean up, honey?” My mom sounded like she was under water as she rubbed my back. “Then I’ll take you back and see how Bam is doing.”
I guess we were going to do that thing where we ignored what was really going on—like when she’d been drinking, or like now when she, along with a few others, shot a rival biker. My family. I bit back the hysterical laughter burning the back of my throat. This was insane.
“I just need to get my purse,” I mumbled.
“Why don’t you start washing up? I think we should stay inside until we get the all clear from the guys. There could be more Wild Riders out there.”
I shook my head, still staring at my hands. “I doubt they stuck around after all that went down. They’re stupid, but they’re not that stupid.”
“That might be, Amber, but I really think—”
“I want my purse.”
“Okay, honey,” she said in that placating tone of hers. “How about I send Jackson out to get it for you while you clean up?”
“I SAID I’LL GET IT!”
My mom flinched at my shout.
I closed my eyes with a wince. “I’m sorry, Mom, but I’ll get it. Do you have the car keys? I think I have my gym bag in your trunk.”
My mom watched me with wide eyes. “I don’t. I think I dropped them somewhere outside, or maybe in the basement. I wasn’t really keeping track, but I didn’t lock it. You shouldn’t need the keys to get into the trunk.”
“Right.” I rubbed my palms on my jeans-clad thighs, but the blood had dried and still stained my hands. “I’ll just go grab my stuff. Would you go check on Bam for me? Please?”
“Sure, honey. It’s all going to be okay. You know that, right?”
“Funny. Bam said the same thing to me right before he got shot for the second time today. Didn’t seem to work out all that great for him.”
“Amber…”
“Just go, okay? Please make sure that they’re taking care of him, and not…” I couldn’t even say it.
“Okay, honey. You go clean up, and I’ll stand over your guy until you come back.” My mom squeezed my shoulder once,
then took a step away before coming back and enveloping me in a hard, tight hug. “I’m so glad that you’re okay. Both of you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you guys, too.”
My composure slipped as my body shuddered with a suppressed sob. “Me, too, Mama. Me, too. Thank you for saving us.”
I flinched as another set of arms wrapped around the two of us, but relaxed when I realized it was my brother. I’d forgotten he was here.
His voice was husky when he finally spoke. “Bam and I would’ve died before we let that happen.”
My mom laughed. “Which two do you think I was talking about, dingus? By the way, I know what I’m getting you for your birthday this year—a membership to the shooting range. Didn’t your dad ever take you out to practice?”
“Very funny.” Jackson pushed away from us and buried his hands in his pocket. I knew from his red cheeks that he was afraid this would become a thing.
And he was right.
My mom laughed. “Well, at least one person in this family can hit a stationary target at five feet.”
“Right.” Jackson nodded as he rocked back on his heels. “Because nothing bad would’ve happened if I’d been the one to shoot the number two in the Bratva when he was the guy who’d actually saved our asses today.”
They were still bickering as I slipped out the lopsided front door. Two steps later, I turned over the car keys lying in the dirt with my foot. A minute later dust was flying in the rearview mirror as I whipped the car in reverse down the driveway. Three blocks later I dodged a fleet of motorcycles riding in the opposite direction. I caught a glimpse of Reb’s face on the lead bike, Zag riding next to him, and Maverick in the middle of the pack. I tightened my hands on the steering wheel and just kept driving.
My mind was blank at first. I concentrated on the road and its tight turns as I wound down the mountainside. I hadn’t driven to Tahoe myself more than a couple of times, so I wasn’t confident about the route. I followed the signs pointing toward Reno and drove.
Soon the pine trees thinned out while buildings and other cars and people pressed against the road. I had to slow for traffic, and I sat there in the middle of the road as I watched a family of four—a mom, a dad, and a boy and girl in their teens—cross in the crosswalk in front of me. It hadn’t been that long ago when it was my family dressed for the beach in Tahoe. Frolicking in the water. Lying out on a towel in the sun. Watching my brother crash and burn with the cute tourist girls. My life had been that carefree before.
Before.
The word haunted me. My life had become a dichotomy. Before. And after. Before, when we were happy. Then after everything had changed. It didn’t escape me that I was following in my mom’s footsteps. In a few short years or maybe even sooner, it could be me in the parking lot holding onto my dead husband. After all, I’d just watched two men die in a hail of bullets. It was only a matter of time until it was Bam dying in front of me.
A horn blared behind me, and I jumped. Looking around, I finally noticed that the road was clear and probably had been for too long. I stepped on the gas and drove.
The next thing I knew I blinked, and I was sitting in the parking lot of Sydney’s apartment. I must’ve been on autopilot because I literally had no memory of what’d happened after I watched that family cross the road in Tahoe.
“Shit,” I muttered to myself as I stared down at my bloodstained clothing. It looked like I’d killed someone or something. I wasn’t too keen about walking into Syd’s apartment building looking like this, but where else could I go? I didn’t want to talk to my mom or anyone from the club right now, so home and her friends were out. And I couldn’t go to any of my other friends—my life had narrowed since my dad had died, and they were all busy with their budding careers and stuff. I didn’t have anyone else to turn to. That was really fucking sad.
Looking around the empty parking lot, I debated for a second about turning my shirt inside out, but somehow I didn’t think that’d help my problem. Instead, I shoved open the car door and ran for it. Two flights of stairs later, I was out of breath as I pounded on Sydney’s door. I hoped like hell she was home. Since I had no clue where my phone was, I couldn’t text her first to make sure, and silly me hadn’t taken the time to look in the parking lot for her car. I lifted my hand and knocked again. The longer I waited out here, the more nervous and fidgety I got.
Shit, shit, shit.
I was debating whether I should leave when the door finally ripped open.
“What the hell is so…important,” Sydney finished weakly as she looked at me. “Holy shit, what happened, Amber? Get in here. Are you okay?”
The tears I’d been holding at bay for so long broke free and coursed down my cheeks. “Syd, oh my god. I can’t—I can’t…”
Sydney gathered me in her arms and kicked the door shut behind me. “Sssshhh, you gotta pull it together for one second and just let me know that you’re okay. I’m kinda freaking out here. Where’d all this blood come from?”
“B-B-Bam Bam. Bam was shot at his grandmother’s house.”
“Holy shit. Is he okay?”
“I-I-I think so. I mean, he was when I left. I don’t really know. I don’t know where my phone is. I should probably find my phone.”
“Okay. Shit. Okay, I think you’re in shock. We should probably call for an ambulance.”
“No!” I shouted, and Sydney jumped. I shook my head frantically. “We can’t. I can’t talk to the police or whatever. It’ll get Bam in so much trouble.”
“But honey, if you’re in shock, you need help. I can’t, I’m not qualified to—”
“I’m fine.” I took a deep breath and gave her a tight smile. “See? I’m fine. Nothing to worry about. Totally fine.”
“Right. That’s why you’re grinning at me like a Batman villain. Totally fine. Nothing to worry about here.”
Her typical smart-ass reply did something that all the miles between Tahoe and here didn’t—I finally relaxed a little. I felt some tension draining out of my shoulders as I laughed hoarsely.
“Okay.” Sydney sighed. “We should at least clean you up. Let me run you a nice warm bath.” Syd put her arm around me and guided me down the hall to her bathroom as she muttered under her breath. “While I Google shock on my phone.”
I rubbed my arms and silently walked with her into the bathroom.
* * *
—
An hour later, I was wrapped in Sydney’s warmest blanket and lying on the sofa with a few pillows under my legs to elevate my feet. I felt ridiculous, but Sydney had insisted.
“So, what do you want to do?” Sydney asked from her chair across from me.
“I don’t know. Should we order some food or something?”
“I’m talking about with Bam, Amber! What do you want to do about Bam?”
I’d filled in Sydney about the whole big mess as she sat on the toilet seat while I’d washed the blood off me. She’d been adamant about not leaving me alone while I was “in shock.” It was sweet, but it’d been a long time since someone had supervised my bath. I mean, there had been those few showers with Bam, but that was different.
Bam.
Shit.
I wanted to know if he was okay. It was killing me not to be by his side, but I couldn’t do it. I was afraid. So fucking afraid of following in my mom’s footsteps. I’d watched her fall apart this last year, and I just knew that I didn’t have it in me. If that was how a strong, capable woman handled losing her biker, what hope did I have?
Tears sheened my vision and my shoulders shook as I fought against the tears.
“Oh shit.” Sydney jumped out of her chair and kneeled by my side. “Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”
“Nope, just my heart.” I buried my face in my hands as I cried. The tears were endless. I cried until my chest burned. I cried un
til my eyes hurt. I cried until I had no more tears left inside me. All I had was an aching hole where my heart used to be.
I scrubbed my face with the robe Syd had lent me. I didn’t know what to do. I loved Bam. I knew I did. Otherwise this wouldn’t hurt so much. I just didn’t know if I wanted to live this life. I’d just watched two men die. What if next time it was Bam? Was I the kind of girl who could happily cook dinner while her guy was out “taking care of club business”? Always wondering if the next time the phone rang it would be with the news that he’d never be coming home again? Or, like last year with my parents and what’d almost happened a few hours ago with Bam, having a front-row seat to the end of us? I didn’t know if I had it in me.
“So, bad news.”
I jumped at Sydney’s declaration. In all my moping I’d forgotten where I was.
She continued. “Or not, depending on how you’re feeling. That was your mom. She’s on her way over.”
I hadn’t even heard her phone ring. Shit. I wasn’t ready for my mom. I didn’t have to be psychic to know that she wasn’t happy with how I’d run away. Hell, I wasn’t happy with how I ran away. I just…it was so much, and I was scared.
I looked at Sydney and bit my lip. “Maybe now it’s time for tequila?”
Sydney shook her head. “Web Doc says you can’t have any food or drink.”
“Oh my god, Sydney. I’m not in shock. I’m fine. I just saw my boyfriend get shot twice and two men die in front of me.”
Syd’s face blanched, and I panicked.
“Is it Bam?” I pushed off the sofa and all but ran to Sydney’s side. “Did my mom say something about Bam? Is he okay? Is he alive?”
“What? No. I mean, Bam’s fine. I think. Your mom didn’t say anything about him. She was worried about you.”
Rough Ride Page 23