by T A. McKay
Feeling a little calmer, I finally make my way down the hall and across the nightclub to the table that we’ve been sitting at since we arrived. Roman has moved from his seat to sit on Trey’s lap, and even though I’m overjoyed that he’s finally found that love he was looking for, I can’t help the jealousy that spreads through my body. They make the perfect couple, and I want that for myself even though that there’s no way to make it happen. Working so much has ruined any plans I had for a relationship and, as much as I love my job, there will always be a part of me that longs for the gentle touches and whispered words of a lover.
“Where’s Nathan?” I didn’t even realize that I’d spoken until two sets of eyes suddenly turn and look at me. Why do I want to know where Nathan is? I try to convince myself that I don’t, but the question has been asked now so I pick up my glass and take a drink, trying to look like I was just making conversation. I grimace when I get a mouthful of melted ice water, and I remember that I was at the bar to get a refill.
“He left, said something about needing to fuck some frustrations out.” Roman smiles as he talks, and I wish I could join in but I can’t. I'm angry that Nathan screwed up my chances of getting some action tonight and he’s now away to have his own fun. Okay, so he didn’t exactly stop a romantic rendezvous with bar guy, fuck, I really should have found out his name, but that isn’t the point. He should be sitting here with us, feeling as shit as I do.
“He left with a guy?” I don’t know why I keep asking questions I don’t want answers to, but I can’t seem to stop myself. There’s no possible way that he had time to hook up with someone after he left me. Does that mean he's had his eye on someone while we’ve been here? I'm surprised that he’s left already, but not as surprised as I am when I realize I'm hurt that he has. Thankfully I'm pulled from my musings by Trey’s loud laughter.
“No, I wouldn’t say he was quite there yet. He’s probably away to see Nic, she's always up for a little bit of fun with him.”
I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or just the whole Nathan situation, but every time I think I have Nathan figured out, I learn a new fact that confuses me all over again. Before I met him personally, Roman had told me that Trey’s best friend was straight, but when he pinned me to the wall and kissed my breath away, I figured Roman had his facts wrong. Now I'm just confused and I think there’s more to Nathan’s story, and even though I know it won’t lead anywhere good, I want to find out more.
“A woman?” Fuck. Why won’t the stupid questions stop? Thankfully neither of them is listening to me anymore. Roman’s whispering something into Trey’s ear, and it’s making Trey’s hands tighten on Roman’s back. I know that reaction from Trey, it means that the pair of them are going to get their freak on again.
I stand and grab my jacket from the back of my chair, the excitement of the night leaving me quickly. It was my idea to come out tonight and it had been great to begin with. Dancing with Roman, knowing that we were drawing everyone’s attention, was such a turn on. It’s been such a long time since a guy showed me some attention and all the eyes on me made my skin tingle. Especially when I turned around and saw that one of those sets of eyes belonged to Nathan.
It’s moments like that when I get confused, also when he whispers in my ear that he's willing to suck my dick. Yeah, those moments mess with my head.
I slip my jacket on and move over to mess up Roman’s hair. He looks up with a dreamy look in his eye and I know he won’t be getting much sleep tonight, and for the first time in a long time, I'm thankful I don’t live with him anymore.
“It’s getting late so I'm gonna head out.” I smile at him, trying to hide the feeling of melancholy that’s threatening to overwhelm me. I'm generally a happy guy, but there are moments when it all gets too much, the stress of everything building to breaking point.
“Okay, we will go grab a cab.”
Roman goes to move but I put my hand on his shoulder, stopping him before he climbs off of Trey’s lap.
“You both stay. I’ll be fine on my own. Plus there’s no point in you going out of your way to get me home. I'm a big boy, I can get there myself.” I give him a huge smile but I know that Roman isn’t buying it when he stands up and pulls me into his arms. His hold is tight and I can feel my throat tighten. I need to get out of here before I make a fool of myself. I've never broken down in front of anyone before and I'm not about to start now.
“Are you okay, Grey?” His words are loud enough to be heard over the music but quiet enough that I know they are meant only for me. I pull back from his hold and nod at him, not trusting my voice in the moment. I don’t give him a chance to say anything else to me and I give them both a small wave before I pull my jacket tight around me and walk out into the chilly night air.
It’s actually a mild night for January, but after the heat of the club, the air is chilly against my sweaty skin. I tighten my arms around myself trying to chase away the shiver that’s threatening to take over my body. I keep my head tucked down, moving along the sidewalk towards the next block. I know I said to Roman that I would get a cab, and I will, but I need to clear my head a little, so I decide to walk for a bit.
I'm stuck in my thoughts when about halfway down the block I walk into someone who’s standing still. I quickly put my hands up and grab onto them, trying to stop myself from falling to the ground. I didn’t realize I was walking so fast, but as I bounce off the hard body I’ve connected with, I know I must have been. A set of arms come out and grab me, helping me keep my feet.
“I’m starting to think you like touching me, Grey.”
I close my eyes, knowing that if I look up I'm going to see a smirk on Nathan’s lips, and then I’ll be confused whether I should punch or kiss him. Of all the people in the world I have to walk into him, especially after earlier. I stand too long before I notice that his arms are still wrapped around me, and I know I should move but I just can’t. I tell myself that Nathan would move away if he didn’t want to touch me.
I brave a look but I'm not met with the smugness I expected, instead there’s a gentle smile that makes my breath catch. This is even more confusing than his smug smile, and as I look at it all I want to do is kiss him. That’s when I take a step back, moving until Nathan’s arms slip from around my waist. I need to put some distance between us before I do something stupid like fall for the guy in front of me. “Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I'm proud when the words come out on a strong voice, the shakiness I'm feeling not present.
I see him look behind me before his forehead scrunches up. “Where are you going? And where are Trey and Roman?” His voice is hard and I suddenly find something on the ground very interesting. I don’t know why he cares, and I don’t know why it bothers me that he's bothered. God, I need to get my head sorted out.
“They’re still at the club. I'm heading home and I told them to stay. I just thought I would try to clear my head before I caught a cab.”
“They let you leave alone?”
I look up again, shaking my head at Nathan and his question. “I'm not a kid, Nathan. I'm perfectly capable of getting myself home.”
At least he has the decency to look a little bit embarrassed by his question, but it doesn’t seem to make him any happier that I'm here. “I know that, it’s just … well you had a lot to drink and … fuck. I just don’t think you should be out here on your own.” And right on cue, the anger that I usually feel when I’m near Nathan appears. I don’t know what it is between us, but if we spend more than a few minutes in each other’s company it usually ends up with us fighting. “Fuck off, Nathan. I’m not that drunk, and contrary to what you said earlier, I can look after myself.”
I go to move past him but he grabs my arm. It takes everything in me not to hit him. I’ve never been a violent person but there’s just something about Nathan that brings it out in me. He's just so, so … punchable?
“I'm sorry.”
I stop walking abruptly and look at him with w
ide eyes. “Did you just apologize to me?”
He rolls his eyes before answering. “It’s not that much of a surprise. There are actually times when I'm not the asshole you think I am. Look I have a cab coming, share it with me.” His hand is still on my arm, warming my skin, and I suddenly notice how tired I am.
“I can’t do that, you live nowhere near me. It would take you an hour to get home if we shared.” Just as I finish talking a car pulls up behind him and rolls its window down.
“Cab for Nathan Cooper.”
Nathan cocks his head at me, a small smile playing on his lips. “I'm game if you are.”
I laugh before I let him pull me towards the back door of the car. He opens it and lets me get in first, maybe scared that I'm going to run away. He gives my address to the driver which surprises me a little since he's only been to my place once, but I'm too tired to think about it right now. If I feel up to it tomorrow I’ll wonder why he remembers, but tonight I just don't care.
I lean my head against the window to the side of me and let myself enjoy the vibrations from the road. It feels nice to get off my feet. Maybe a night out after a week of nightshifts wasn’t the best idea, but I just wanted to have some fun for a little while.
That’s my last thought before I drift off into a sleep, letting the peace of the journey soothe my shattered nerves.
Chapter 3
I walk into the coffee shop and collapse into the seat across from Trey. He watches me over the rim of his mug as he takes a drink. He doesn’t say anything until I let out a loud, dramatic sigh that makes the people closest to us turn and stare.
“Something up?”
I glare at him. I do some of my best acting and that’s what he asks. “That’s the best you can do? No, Nathan, the best friend a man could ever ask for, what is worrying your amazing brain? I get something up? I really need to find a new friend, one who can cater to my needs.” I let my head fall back and I put my hand on my forehead, putting on an even bigger show for my audience of one.
I hear quiet laughter from Trey before he speaks again. “I'm pretty sure I offered to cater to your needs, but the fact I had a dick was a problem.”
It’s my turn to laugh as the waitress approaches the table with her eyes wide, and I know she probably heard Trey’s comment. I wink at her as she takes my drinks order.
“Forgive me, I didn’t know the joys of a cock. Now I know what I was missing.” I laugh when the waitress drops her pencil, her cheeks bright red as she bends down quickly to retrieve it before rushing away.
“That was really mean, Nathan. The poor girl didn’t know what to do with herself.” I can hear the laughter in his voice even as he tries to tell me off.
“Oh please, she’s gonna have one of the best orgasms of her life tonight thinking of me taking a dick.”
Trey starts massaging the crease in between his eyebrows, while muttering under his breath about boundaries and filters. “Anyway, you want to tell me what has your panties in a bunch?”
The waitress returns with my white chocolate mocha with extra caramel and places it quickly on the table before running away without making eye contact. I take a drink, sighing contently when the sugar hits my stomach. I look over to see that the look on Trey’s face is now one of horror.
“I don’t know how you drink that crap.”
I just smile and lick the cream off my lips before I answer his earlier question. “Remember that huge job that was stressing me out over the festive period?”
He just nods at me. I knew he would remember it, because the fucking thing nearly gave me an ulcer and I didn’t see him for nearly three weeks. “Well the guy has decided that maybe it wasn’t the right direction to go after all. Now he wants a total fucking redesign.” I groan as I finish speaking, knowing the headache that this whole thing is going to be. This client is the fussiest fucker in the world and he's never happy with anything, mainly because everything he wants isn’t possible. I'm not a big headed guy, okay I am, but when it comes to my work I know I'm the shit. It’s the only reason I went out on my own and started my own company, one that grew from day one and within a year was turning over a five-figure profit.
“Can he do that? What about all the work you put into the other website?”
It’s my turn to massage the crease between my eyebrows, the tension in my head increasing as I feel the stress starting already. “He can do anything he wants when he’s the one paying. I keep giving him outrageous quotes hoping he thinks that it’s not worth the money, but the guy is loaded so he just writes a check and I fall in line.” I take a large sip of my coffee, hoping the sugar and caffeine will calm the nerves that are starting to fray. I wish I could have told Mr. Donaldson to go fuck himself, but what I told Trey was the truth. When you give someone a quote that is nearly double your normal rate and they’re still willing to pay, you just don’t turn them away.
“That’s shit, it really is. So is this our last coffee for a while?” I know he means it as a joke, but once this job starts it’s going to take months to complete. I'm not going to have a life for a while, and it might be a long time until I see anyone. No more nights out, and no more visiting Nic. I need to pay her a visit before I get started, just to make sure I'm at least smiling before I go to hell.
“I have a few weeks before I start his job, so you better see my face as much as possible before then. I know how much you miss me when I'm not around.”
“I miss you like a case of genital warts.” I have a mouthful of coffee when he talks and the shock at his answer has me spitting it all over the table and, much to his horror, Trey.
“Fucking seriously!”
I choke on the cream that’s left in my mouth, tears coming to my eyes as I try to breathe through my coughing. I finally get myself under control, but when I look at Trey and see him glare at me as he cleans off his shirt, it has me cracking up again. Thankfully this time I don't have anything in my mouth that he will end up wearing.
“Laugh it up, fucker. I have a meeting this afternoon and now I’ll need to go back to the office and change. You're lucky I have a change of clothes or I would knock you out.”
I take a few deep breaths, letting the laughter fade as I get myself under control again. Spitting on Trey wasn’t that funny, but I think after all the talking with Mr. Donaldson my mind is ready to snap, and it’s making the simplest thing amuse me too much.
“I would feel worse if I didn’t already know that you have a change of clothes in your office. You told me that you came all over your shirt one day you and Roman were messing around, so now you always keep a change of clothes at work. Hey, at least the coffee is easier to explain and probably easier to wash out.” I watch closely as color starts to spread over Trey’s cheeks. This is something else that’s amused me since he started dating Roman; he seems to have picked up Roman’s habit of blushing at simple things. Trey never got embarrassed before, but now it’s so much easier to mess with him.
“That’s besides the point, at least I got something out of those encounters.” He goes back to drinking his coffee and we fall into a comfortable silence. This is what I like about being with Trey; we don’t need to fill every second of our time talking. We’re both happy to sit and just be together.
“So, this thing between you and Grey, want to tell me what the hell that’s all about?” Fuck, I wish he’d stayed quiet. I know he's noticed the way we are around each other, but I can’t explain to him something I don’t understand myself.
“Things with Grey are … complicated.”
“Define complicated.”
And apparently he isn’t going to let this go. I swear he’s too nosey for his own good.
“There isn’t much to say. I love fucking with the guy, he's kinda easy to rattle.” Trey doesn’t look convinced with what I'm telling him and I really don’t blame him. He knows me better than anyone else and can tell when I'm talking bullshit. “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice. So there may be the fact tha
t he makes my cock harder than anyone else can.”
This gets a reaction from Trey and his eyebrows rise to almost touch the hair that’s falling over his forehead. “You have a thing for Grey?”
Yes. No. Fuck it all.
“No, I wouldn’t say a thing. I just appreciate how the guy looks in a pair of tight jeans. I'm sure you know what it’s like to look but not touch.”
He still doesn’t look convinced and it’s starting to piss me off a little. I know I'm lying to him, but he should have the decency to pretend to believe me. The sudden serious look on his face worries me and I have the urge to run away.
“Look, Nathan. You know I never say anything about the people you're with, but please don’t fuck around with Grey. I need you and him to be able to at least tolerate each other. If you can’t be in the same room as each other it’s going to be really difficult for me and Roman.”
My thoughts go back to Friday night when we were all out together, the things that I said to Grey in the nightclub. It makes me glad that I managed to talk to him after he left the club. I know what Trey is saying makes a lot of sense, and it would put him in a difficult position with his boyfriend, but I can’t let him off the hook just yet.
“So the fact that I fucked him in the toilet on Friday night is gonna be a problem?” I watch as the color drains out of Trey’s face. If I was any sort of friend I would put him out of his misery, but I decide not to. This is just too funny to watch.
“Fuck, Nathan. Please tell me you’re kidding. I don’t want to face the wrath of Roman, and if you have done anything to Grey, I will be the one who gets it. He won’t come after you, it will be my balls he will take it out on.” I don't think I’ve ever seen Trey worry about someone else’s anger. He’s very much the typical alpha male, the guy who controls everything, and he doesn’t get scared by anyone. This turn of events is very interesting, and I store the fact away for use at a later date.