Looking at the doorway where she watched Milo walk away only a few minutes earlier, Mrs. Hanover twists her hands together. “You can’t do this on your own, and I can’t help you.”
“But …”
She looks up. The steady gaze she pins on me is unnerving. “Do you trust this person?”
“Yes,” I say, “but I probably shouldn’t.”
Sitting back against the couch, Mrs. Hanover sighs. “If you’re right about the danger the Ciphers are in, you may not have the luxury of taking the safest path.”
Chapter 1
0
Whatever it Takes
Have u decided what 2 do yet? Lance asks.
I stare at his text message, unable to answer. All day we’ve been texting back and forth as I told him about how telling Milo about Braden went and explaining what Mrs. Hanover said. Lance’s trust in the Guardians has taken a nosedive in the last few months, but he isn’t nearly as reluctant as Milo. It would take an act of God to restore Milo’s trust in the brotherhood he once idolized.
U have to decide before tonight, Lance texts.
I know.
I leave it at that when I feel the familiar presence of Milo approaching. He rounds the corner and breaks off his conversation with Mr. Walters to smile at me. I smile back. Mr. Walters grants us a bit of privacy and walks past us into the classroom. Facing Milo with my thoughts in such turmoil is torture. I want to talk to him about it, ask him for help again, but I know doing so will only lead to another fight. I asked him for help and he gave me his answer. I don’t blame him, but not having Milo there tonight if I go through with the meeting tears at me.
Guilt for even considering something Milo expressly told me he was against causes a strange effect in me. It pushes me toward him. I wrap my arms around his waist and reach up for a kiss, trying to make up for a choice I haven’t even made yet. Milo is more than happy to give in to my request. Sensuous warmth works its way through me, all the way down to my toes. I’m pressed up against the wall and out of breath by the time our lips finally part.
“This is new,” Milo says, “but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it.”
“Well, don’t get to use to it. I had a really awful day yesterday and kissing you is the only thing that will make me feel better. I’m not usually the kind of girl that stands around making out in hallways.”
Milo kisses me again. “I don’t see anyone complaining.”
“Mr. Walters is going to start if we don’t get to his class soon,” I say.
My aging teacher has snow white hair and barely reaches five-foot-six, but the former Seeker once pulled a knife on me and offered to slit my throat. He’s not one to make wait. One inch at a time, Milo pulls away from me. His sigh is echoed by mine. With my impending appointment tonight, I want as much Milo-time as possible to keep me focused on him and not Braden. My fingers trail down the front of his chest, drawing a groan from his lips. I pull forward and press my mouth to his again. Desire to feel the same rush with him that I did with Braden pushes me further than I intended to go.
Milo stiffens and gently presses me back against the wall. “Libby, is everything okay?”
Too much, I groan. I forgot for a moment that I was dealing with Milo and not the old, oblivious Lance. Milo picks up on stuff like this way more often than Lance used to. Although, Lance has been much better about that lately. Unfortunately.
“Everything’s fine, Milo. As fine as it can be, I guess. I just feel like I don’t get very many moments like this anymore. We’re always so busy, and I get so frustrated. It’s hard to let go of you sometimes,” I say. And for once, I’m being completely honest with him.
“It won’t always be like this,” Milo says.
I laugh and lay my head against his chest. “When will it ever not be like this? I’m the Destroyer, Milo. My life will always be like this. Screwed up and dangerous.”
“No it won’t. After you rescue the Ciphers and disintegrate the corrupt system that imprisoned them in the first place, you’ll be able to put all of this behind you. Then it will just be you and me, and we can make out in hallways all we want,” he says as his hands slide around my hips. Our bodies press against each other and his kiss tries to drown me in his optimism.
Momentarily drunk on his belief, I let myself relish the impossible dream of having a normal life with him. What would it be like to wake up in the morning worrying about nothing more than what we were going to eat for breakfast? If I could actually plan my life out farther than my eighteenth birthday, I know I would devote every daydream to a future with Milo. I would envision him slipping a ring onto my finger, about buying our first house. I would picture the faces of our children. That thought momentarily weakens me. I’ll never have any of that. No future with Milo, no children, no dreams. Even if I somehow manage to pull off everything I’m planning, it won’t end there.
So I overthrow the military force running the world, what then? I can’t just walk away and hope someone else will pick up the pieces. If I tear everything down, I’m going to have to be the one to build it back up. It will be up to me to reunite the thousands of Ciphers with their families and to figure out how to make up for what was done to them. I have to rebuild a whole world. This will never end. I will always be Cassia the Destroyer no matter how much I want things to be different. My enthusiasm drifts away. When I pull out of Milo’s grip, I don’t offer any explanation. I just tow him along behind me to class and slump into my usual chair.
To one side of me, Milo takes his seat as well and Lance looks over at me with a questioning glance. I shake my head and turn to find Mr. Walters shuffling through stacks of papers. One good thing about this class is that it’s always interesting. I scan the room and stop at the sight of a blonde ponytail to the right of me.
“Casey?”
She turns around and smiles weakly. In the two weeks since I helped her get away from the Ciphers she hasn’t contacted me in any way, but I know none of her friends are talking to her anymore. I guess the pressure of being alone has finally caught up with her.
“Mr. Walters said I could join the class as long as you don’t mind.” Her mouth turns down in worry. “You don’t, do you?”
“No, of course not. I’m just not sure why you’re here,” I say.
Casey’s frown deepens. “Well, no one else will talk to me after what happened, so I thought I better learn a little more about what you’re doing if people are going to assume I’ve joined up with you, regardless.”
Just what I was afraid would happen. “Casey, you don’t have to come here just because of what happened.”
“I know,” she says, “but that’s not the only reason I’m here. I need to talk to you about the Ciphers.”
“The Ciphers?” I ask in a startled gasp. “How do you know about them?”
Fear flashes in her eyes. “Libby, I know you said I should stay out of the spirit world for a while, but I was worried about my friend Caroline. I tried to stay away, but I just couldn’t. I went back last night to make sure she was okay. She was waiting for me. And she told me … a lot more than she ever has before.”
“What did she tell you? And how did she tell you without the Spiritualists finding out and stopping her?”
“How? I shielded us.”
I stare at her. “You can shield yourself from the Spiritualists?”
“Sure. Not everyone can do it, but I’ll teach you if you want,” Casey offers.
“Definitely.” If I ever figure out how to get there. “What did your friend tell you?”
Tucking her feet up under her, Casey looks down at her hands. “She told me about being a Cipher, about how the Guardians took her after her Inquest and locked her in the spirit world. She told me that once the Spiritualists lock a person in the spirit world, there’s no way for them to escape. ” Casey takes a deep breath and shudders. Caroline’s description of the night she was taken must have been unpleasant.
“I met Caroline when I was fi
ve. I thought I was dreaming for years, and that she was just part of my dreams. She was like my big sister. We played together and she listened when I needed to talk. When I started learning about talents, I figured out I wasn’t just dreaming. I didn’t tell anyone, but I did start learning how to use my Spiritualism on my own. I didn’t have a physical guide like people usually do. I was pretty comfortable there already, and once I told Caroline that I knew I was in the spirit world she helped me with things like getting around and communicating there.”
“When did you realize you were in the spirit world?” I ask.
She shrugs. “Around ten years old, I think. Everybody thinks I’m so talented in class. Really, I’ve just had a lot more practice.”
“Because you made a wise choice and decided to develop your Spiritualism talent as soon as you knew about it, Casey,” Mr. Walters says, his mocking gaze falling on me for not doing the same.
I had six other talents to worry about, for crying out loud. Six other talents that seemed way more useful at the time. How was I supposed to know my chance at success was going to hinge on whether or not I could get into the spirit world? This is an argument we’ve been having since before Christmas. Rather than dragging it out again, I simply ignore him and move on.
“What else did Caroline tell you?” I ask Casey. There has to be more than just the truth of who she is. Finding out her friend is a Cipher doomed to spend an eternity in the spirit world is a shocking revelation, to be sure, but I can tell there’s something more. My Concealment is vibrating with the desire to be released. I hold back, for now. I always prefer to hear the truth from a person’s own mouth rather than by using my talents. But either way, I’ll get the answers she’s holding back before we leave this class.
Luckily, Casey doesn’t make me resort to devious means. “Caroline apologized for what happened that day. She said there’s a group of Ciphers who are so frightened and angry that none of the others can control them anymore. They grabbed me because they knew me, and because I guess they knew you were near me.”
“Why are the other Ciphers so scared?” Milo speaks up suddenly.
“Because something really bad is happening in the Spirit world.” Casey’s eyes tear up suddenly. Her lips start quivering, and I reach out and take her hand. “Caroline said that some of the Ciphers have started disappearing. She doesn’t know where they’re going, but someone will be there one second, and they’re gone the next. None of them know what to do. She thinks some of the people who lead the Ciphers know, but they aren’t telling anyone. Caroline’s terrified that the missing Ciphers are dead.”
I shake my head sadly. I wanted so badly to believe Milo’s mom about this.
“The Spiritualists can’t be outright killing them,” Milo argues. “I know my mom is right about this. They won’t risk that. Maybe they’re doing something else. Locking the Ciphers away in some secret part of the spirit world or something.”
“Caroline said they’ve searched everywhere for the missing Ciphers. They aren’t in the spirit world anymore. There aren’t any holes they can put them in, either. The spirit world doesn’t work like that,” Casey says. “It has no physical substance. You can’t manipulate it. It’s a void, that’s it.”
“Something else has to be going on,” Milo argues.
Mrs. Hanover was so sure the Guardians wouldn’t kill them. She promised they would leave them be. But she was obviously wrong in some way. How exactly? The Guardians could never just gas an entire compound because they would never make it out alive before the Sihirs found them. It would be suicide trying to control that many. The townspeople from Mrs. Hanover’s story only survived because they were lucky enough to find a willing sacrifice right there in their town.
I gasp as a horrible revelation strikes me. Everyone stares at me. “Milo, your mom’s wrong. They are killing them.”
“No, Libby, they wouldn’t …”
“Listen to me for a second. What your mom said about the Guardians being overwhelmed before they could kill the Sihirs, she was right about that, but only if they were stupid enough to kill the Ciphers all at once. They would never do that. It would be suicide.”
Every face in the room pales as the others in the room understand what I’m saying. Even Mr. Walters, who has undoubtedly seen death many, many times, looks disturbed.
“If the Guardians planned ahead, found a sacrifices beforehand and brought them to the prison so when they killed the Cipher there would be a body ready for them, they could do it,” I say. “One by one, they could kill every single Cipher. And I bet any new Ciphers found since my Inquest haven’t been put into the spirit world. I bet they’re killing them as soon as they find them.”
“I … I can’t believe they would do that,” Lance says quietly.
“I can,” Mr. Walters says. “You boys both wanted to be Guardians. A lot of young men do. Some want the power, but some are dedicated to the idea of protecting people. It’s just too bad that’s not what the Guardians are about anymore. Most Guardians don’t even give their Oaths to the people they’re serving. They don’t give their Oath to anyone, because at any moment they might be called upon to murder one of those innocent people for the good of the world. They would be killing themselves if they gave their Oaths away like people think they do. The sole purpose of the Guardian class is to save the world from you, Libby. They’ll sacrifice as many people as it takes. And they won’t even bat an eye.”
“There are thousands of Ciphers,” Casey says. Her trembling voice is small in the nearly-empty classroom.
“They’ll kill them all.”
I knew it from the first moment I found out about the Ciphers. I knew it, but I let Milo’s parents talk me into not worrying about them. I’ve been trying to reach them, yes, but what have I done to protect them? They are mine. They belong to me, as my army, as my followers, as possibly the only family I will ever have. My hand slips into Milo’s, but my eyes settle on Lance and I nod. We meet for the briefest of moments, but the message exchanged is clear.
I won’t risk losing my only chance to reach the Ciphers just because I don’t like the source of the help. I am getting into the spirit world tonight, and Braden, one of the ones meant to stop me, is going to get me there. Lance nods and lightly touches his fingers to his emblem, promising not to tell Milo. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I reach the Ciphers tonight. Whatever it takes.
Chapter 1
1
Promise
This time Braden doesn’t break into my room. I pull up to the motel after spending a few luxurious hours wrapped up in Milo’s arms watching a movie, and immediately recognize the gorgeous black sedan I saw him drive away in last night. I didn’t used to be much of a car enthusiast, but having spent so much time around Lance and Milo lately, it kind of rubs off after a while. I think Braden’s yummy car is an Aston Martin. The word luxury barely even touches it. My eyes follow the graceful lines of the car right to Braden. His face peering out the window at me makes my chest constrict.
I don’t want to do this. I mean, I’m desperate to get into the spirit world, but I don’t want to do it with him. when Milo went to get something from his locker, I pestered Casey after class about getting over a spiritual block, but she had no idea what to do. She was never blocked herself, and it isn't something that’s ever been covered in class, either. So I’m stuck with Braden. Thankfully, I spot Lance’s car pulling in behind me and parking discretely a few spaces down. I thank him mentally and look back over at Braden.
The way he jumps out of his car and walks around to my door makes my stomach start to roil. I bunch my shoulders up so I can breathe in the scent of Milo. I thought ahead tonight and borrowed one of his sweatshirts when I went to his house. The scent of him fills my Bronco. I inhale every last particle of him that I can, and hold it in for as long as possible. Braden pulling open my door and letting in a blast of frigid air makes me gasp. The shocking electric vibration that runs through me doesn’t help eithe
r. He offers me his hand, but I climb out and throw my door shut without touching him.
“Nice to see you, too,” he says.
He’s mocking me again. I can’t believe he finds it amusing that he has some bizarre ability to throw my emotions into chaos just by being near me. The first time we met at the theater I was a little too preoccupied to take much notice of how Braden had affected me. I felt it for certain when he surprised me later that night, but after weeks of not seeing him, the memory faded. Now I can’t stop noticing it.
Without responding to his taunt, I unlock my door and go in, making a point to turn the lights on this time. I really don’t want to be caught alone with Braden in a dark room again. He follows me in and pushes the door shut behind him. A shiver runs through me at the sound of the deadbolt flicking closed. It’s just for privacy, I tell myself. Once we start this, we aren’t going to want anyone interrupting us. That’s the only reason he just locked the door. It is.
“What reason did you give your captain for being here tonight?” I ask as I kick off my shoes.
“I told him you agreed to answer a few questions about your childhood and the emergence of your talents.”
My skin hums and I spin around in time to catch Braden less than a foot away from me. I jump a little, despite my best efforts. The corner of his mouth quirks up, but his concern keeps him from enjoying sneaking up on me.
“You told him what?” I demand as I take a step back.
Braden takes a step as well, keeping him too close. “I thought it was a fair trade for me helping you tonight.”
“Well, it isn’t. I’m not telling you anything.”
Finally, he steps back. “Would you rather I left?” He turns for the door. There is no teasing coming from him at all. He means it. I lunge forward and grab his arm. “Wait. Don’t leave. I need your help.”
Braden swivels to face me. “You’ll answer my questions?”
Secret of Betrayal: Book Two of The Destroyer Trilogy Page 10