by T. C. Edge
I know full well that this is real.
The room falls silent. I look at him with a crinkled brow, and then turn away. I think I’ve heard enough. I don’t want to hear anymore, think anymore.
“I think you should go,” I say.
He hangs his head and nods.
“You’re right. You need to rest. I just…”
He looks at me again and takes a short pace forward.
“What is it, Artemis?” I ask blankly. It’s as though I’m now the Savant, cold and detached, and he’s the fragile, emotional being, the sort he never cared for, always trampled upon and used for his own gain.
“I know you will never forgive me,” he says. “I know you will always hate me. But…I just wanted to explain. I needed to explain. I…”
“You have,” I say, cutting him off. “You’ve explained yourself. I understand. And now, I need to rest.”
He tries to raise a smile, an expression that’s never been natural for him. Now, it remains so, yet unnatural for a different reason. He’s trying to show me he really is different, that he really does care. Maybe he is. Maybe he does.
But I’m the same. And I don’t care about him.
And never will.
I stare at him until he leaves, until he opens the door and shuffles through, just an old man in a white suit. A man who has ruined so many lives, and will now have to live with that burden. What will happen to him now, I don’t know.
And right now, I don’t care.
I just want to rest. I just want to sleep. I just want to enter my nightmares and seek out my brother, somewhere in there, waiting for me.
And as he shuts the door, and I’m left in silence, I lie there, numb and unmoving. Staring at the door. Empty.
Until I fall asleep.
30
I spend much of the next two days alone.
I sleep intermittently, my head aching each time I wake. When I do, and I feel a presence in the room, Adryan or my grandmother, or someone else come to visit me, I pretend I’m still asleep. I let my eyes flicker, before fading shut again. Only when I know I’m alone do I open them fully.
I think a lot as the hours pass. I think of everything I’ve been through, all that’s happened. I think of how simple life was for me, for so many of us, before the world turned upside down, before the fires began to spread and engulf us.
I think of my friends, of how grateful I am that so many of them survived. I think of those that didn’t, and how sad I am that they’re gone. But most of all, I think of Zander, painful as it is. It is a pain I endure, and one that will live with me forever. I know, now, I will never be whole again.
It’s on the second day that I wake, alone again, to find a note on the bedside table next to me. I pick up the envelope, and see Adryan’s handwriting.
“I thought you might want this back,” it reads.
I open it up, and inside I find something that renews my tears. The picture of my parents, Maxwell and Elisa, that I thought had been lost once more. Last I remember, it was in my jacket pocket, right next to my heart as I fought beside my brother. They were there with us, at all times. My parents, and their children, all together.
I guess I forgot about it when Adryan changed my clothes. He must have found it, dried it out and kept it safe, ready to give back to me when the time was right. That time is now, and I hold it close to my chest again, looking into their faces as I have so many times. Now, Zander is with them. That gives me some solace, knowing he’s at peace.
As those days pass, and my mind twists and turns in all directions, I begin to realise that I can’t stay here. It is a courtesy, me being allowed this room. So many others have suffered real injury, and yet are being kept in larger hospitals, hastily erected around the centre of the city. I know I need to give up this space. I know I need to re-enter the world, to see my friends, to realise that, whatever happens, life goes on.
I cannot hide here any more.
So, I dress, and I place my parents’ picture into my jacket pocket, and I step towards the door and out into the corridor. It’s busy, as it always is, so many needing constant attention and monitoring. No one spares me a second look, or a second thought. I’m not important anymore.
And that’s just how I want it.
I wander down the corridor, glancing through doors at the stricken men and women, fighting for their lives. I see friends and family, grieving and desperate. I see them as I must have been when Zander fell, when the grief was so fresh and raw.
Wandering along, I hear my name being called.
“Brie…Brie you’re up!”
I look up to see the gorgeous face of Sophie beaming as she spots me through the rushing bodies. She hurries towards me and swamps me with her arms.
“I came to see you, several times,” she says. “You were always asleep. I…I wanted to say how…” She stops, her words faltering. “Zander…I’m sorry.”
I nod. I’ve heard it enough, and don’t want to hear it again. Everyone means well, but it only serves to prolong the pain.
I look at her, and see the sympathy. But I know she must feel even worse.
“It’s me who should be sorry,” I say. “I’m in there, hiding. And you…you’re stronger than me, Soph. I can’t imagine how you must feel right now, losing Rycard.”
She frowns. It’s not the expression I expected.
“Losing Rycard?”
“Yeah. I…I saw him by the western gate. He was…” I stop. “He’s not…dead?”
“Dead? Heavens no,” she smiles, looking to a door nearby. “He’s recovering well, just taking visitors. I’ve been with him most of the day. I think he’s getting sick of me actually.”
She smiles, drawing a tiny grin to my face.
“Would you like to see him?” she asks.
I look at the door, hesitating.
“Are you sure he’s up to it? I saw his leg.” I frown again and shake my head. “I really thought he was…gone.”
“He, um, got lucky. Please, go in. He’d love to see you.”
She nods hurriedly, and ushers me towards the door. My hand shivers as I reach out to take the handle, and Sophie’s fingers come down to do the job for me. She opens it up, and I look inside to see Rycard on a bed, his left leg lost above the knee.
“Darling, you have another visitor,” says Sophie.
Rycard’s good eye meets mine. It’s weary and weak, yet shows the same expression I see in everyone else’s. Sympathy. Pity. I want people to stop looking at me like that. I don’t deserve it. So many others have lost people too…
“I’ll leave you two to it,” says Sophie.
She hurries me through, and shuts the door, leaving us in silence. I creep towards Rycard’s bed, looking over his crippled frame. He follows my eyes as I look at what remains of his left leg.
“No right eye, and now no left leg,” he murmurs with a hint of humour. I find his good eye hardening. “I’m one of the lucky ones.”
He knows better than to reference Zander directly. Rycard has always had a good sense for such things.
“Please, sit down, Brie.”
I meander towards the chair, already set by his bed. When I sit, it’s warm, kept so by Sophie.
“She’s been worried about you,” he tells me, looking towards the door. “We all have.”
I shake my head.
“No need. I’m alive, uninjured. It’s not me people should worry about.”
“There are different types of injury, Brie. Some of them don’t show. I won’t ask you how you feel. Just know that we’re all here for you. We’re all here for each other.”
He reaches out and takes my hand, and smiles to comfort me.
I stay quiet for a little while, and Rycard doesn’t force anything. He just lies there, waiting, giving me a chance to speak if I should want to. I look at his leg again, so convinced before that he was dead.
“I thought there was a curse,” I whisper suddenly.
He frowns.
/>
“A…curse?”
I nod.
“The High Tower. I thought that everyone involved in destroying it were cursed. Kira, Beckett, Freya, Quinn, Astor…all dead.” I look him in the eye, before continuing. “I saw you out there at the western gate. I thought you were dead too. And…Zander. I knew something was going to happen. I kept seeing things. Imagining him dying…” I trail off, my voice a mumble, and shuffle my position in my seat. “I’m just being stupid.”
“No, you’re not at all. It’s natural to try to make sense of things in such tragic circumstances. But, there was never a curse, Brie. It’s just…war. War is a curse on all of us.”
I look at him, and see the light shining in his left eye.
“Yeah…I guess you’re right.”
“Don’t you know it,” he laughs lightly. “You should listen to me. I’m wise.”
I smile and lower my eyes, wondering how he can stay so positive.
“Brie, listen,” he says, reaching over and shaking my hand gently. I lift my eyes again. “Zander was a special young man. And…I can’t imagine how it must be losing him. Your connection as twins, and the powers you shared. It will take time for you to feel like yourself again. But you will. I promise you that. You’ll be happy again, some day.”
“Yeah. Happy…”
“My words are hollow. I know that. But we’re in this together. The entire city is in mourning, but we have survived. We survived because of people like Zander. You should be proud of him, and everything he did…”
I find myself nodding quickly.
“I am, I am. I’m so proud to be his sister.”
“And he was proud of you. He’d want you smiling, and being happy. You have Adryan. You have Brenda, and Tess, and the kids, right? And me and Sophie, and Drum. There’s a lot to be thankful for.”
He taps his eye, covered in its patch.
“I thought, when I lost my eye, the world was over. I defined myself as a Hawk. I lost that, and I didn’t understand why. But I moved on, and did what I could.” He looks at his missing leg. “And now…I’ve lost another piece of me. But I’ll tell you this, Brie…I’ll have to lose a whole lot more to stop me from moving forward. From smiling. From loving Sophie and Maddox. From helping rebuild this city in whatever way I can. We get chipped away, piece by piece, but the core of us remains, right here,” he says, tapping his chest.
He looks at mine, and draws a breath.
“Your heart is broken right now, but it will mend. In time, your wounds will heal. And like me, my leg and my eye, there’ll be pieces of you missing…but just pieces, Brie. You’ll go on, and you’ll live long and happy, just as Zander wanted. I saw how he cared for you. He’d have done anything to see you come out of this alive. Wherever he is right now, he’s happy, Brie. He’s happy to see you here, breathing free air. And he’ll be with you, always.”
He reaches out and touches my temple, my cheeks already wetting with tears. He wipes them away, and lifts my chin.
“Now smile, Brie. Show the world that beautiful face of yours. It’s what your brother would have wanted.”
I draw a long breath into my lungs, and breath it out. Then, despite it all, I smile.
“Good,” says Rycard. “There she is.”
And with that, I leave the room, feeling a little brighter, and a little better. I find Sophie outside, waiting nervously. She pounces on me as I come, my smile still holding, but only just.
“Well…how was it?” she asks quickly.
My smile lifts a little higher at seeing her enthusiasm.
“You knew he’d have the right words for me, didn’t you?” I ask.
She shakes her head innocently.
“No…what do you mean? So you feel better?”
I draw her into a hug.
“I’m getting there,” I say.
31
I stand outside of the city, in a field of grass, alone.
At my back, hidden within a gathering of rocks, a tunnel spreads far beneath the earth, working towards the northern quarter of a now desolate place. The north was always a forgotten maze of dark roads, of tall, unoccupied tenement blocks and old industrial ruins. Now, it is a festering heap of rubble. As so much of Outer Haven is.
I turn to the west, and see more debris. The old town of the Nameless, and their headquarters at the church, is now gone. Only black ruins remain, sitting atop earth scorched by fire. All over, the lands are the same. Like the city itself, they have suffered so dearly, and will need time to regrow.
That rebuilding process is already underway. Away in the distance, the streets of Inner Haven are being cleared, the walls remade. The people, from both sides of the divide, now gather only at the core, Enhanced and Unenhanced living together, as my grandmother always wanted. Outer Haven, stricken by so many days of war, is devastated. It may never be occupied again.
Days have passed now since the Cure’s army fell, since my grandfather’s soldiers put them to the sword. Those days have been difficult and long. I have found myself seeking solitude often, and yet yearning for comfort too. In Adryan’s arms, I’ve found it. And in the company of dear friends. Slowly but surely, like the city itself, I am returning to the girl I was.
I have chosen to stay clear of discussions of the future. I observe and listen, but don’t speak. My grandfather’s fate, once of such importance to me, now makes me feel numb. The passionate hatred I had for him has been replaced. I feel pity now, and an unending emptiness when I think of who he was, who he now is or seems to be. In my mind, Artemis Cromwell is already dead. The man who now lives within his skin is a ghost.
One I never want to see again.
I was with Brenda and Tess when the news came, several days ago now. The fate of Artemis Cromwell has been a great talking point within the city. Some called for his head, for his crimes to be punishable by death. Others said he deserved to be spared, even praised, for his part in saving so many thousands.
My opinion, of course, was asked. My input was considered important, not least by my grandmother, who continues to lead the city in these dark and difficult times. In the end, my own mind was split, just as public opinion was. I had no answer to give. I merely said that I wanted to be kept out of it.
And so, as I sat with Brenda and Tess, the news came. It was Adryan who brought it, himself a growing voice in such matters. He entered and looked right at me.
“Banishment,” he said. “Artemis Cromwell is to be banished.”
The feeling barely caused a reaction in me. It’s hard for much to stir me now, given all that’s happened. I merely nodded, as Brenda and Tess exclaimed loudly that justice wasn’t done. I didn’t say a word.
It turned out, however, that banishment was my grandfather’s own plan. To leave the city and never return. To live out his days in the REEF, that cold place of such inhumanity. To live his remaining years alone, tortured by the memories of what he’d done.
His soldiers will stay here, given new orders to protect us. The REEF itself will be stripped of what it once was, the cells and labs burned and destroyed, leaving only shells of buildings behind. And there, he will live alone, a prisoner of his own past. His role in the city of Haven, and the lives of the people, is over.
And now I stand, looking at his family.
My family.
Ahead of me, a simple gravestone sits, dug into the dirt. Beneath it, a coffin lies, holding the body of my dear twin. We buried him a mere week ago, shortly after the war ended. I chose to bring him here, to do a traditional burial like our ancestors. I didn’t want to see his body burned. Somehow, I needed to keep some physical part of him here, where I can visit. Where I can feel his presence still.
I stand there, as the breeze ruffles my hair, just looking at the gravestone. It was out here where he lived so much of his life, where he became the man who led armies, who inspired thousands. Here, where the Nameless began the journey to where we all stand now. Here, in the outerlands, where Zander felt most at home.
I step forward, and kneel, and from my jacket pocket, I draw out the picture of my parents. I look upon their faces, and more than ever, I see Zander staring back. I see his eyes in my father. I see his mouth in my mother. I see them all, the parents I never knew, the brother whose time with me was so fleeting, and know that they’re together now.
And one day, I’ll see them too.
Reaching out, I place the picture down against the grave.
“They’ll stay with you now, brother,” I whisper, my voice carried away on the light wind.
I stand, and step back, drawing in a breath.
And before I turn, and head back through the tunnel to the city, I say one final thing.
“Oh…and Zander,” I smile. “Happy birthday.”
32
I return to the city several hours later, the journey through the tunnels, and the desolate streets of Outer Haven, taken at a stroll.
I ignore the stench of corpses, and the flattened buildings that litter the streets, and reach the northern gate to Inner Haven with the afternoon light beginning to wane. The gate opens for me, and I pass through into the only habitable part of the city that remains, casting my eyes over the many Stalkers now protecting the outskirts and perimeter.
They’ll take some getting used to, for me and everyone else. Yet now, under the command of my grandmother, they will help make this city safe again from any threat from the outside world.
Passing through the gate, I’m greeted by a friendly face, though her expression looks slightly strained. I spot her, waiting nervously beside a car and regularly checking her watch. As the grinding gears of the gate catch her attention, she spots me, and relief floods her face.
Tess walks over to me at a brisk pace, shaking her head.
“Where have you been!” she says. “Wandering out there again? Don’t torture yourself, Brie.”
I shake my head.
“Just visiting Zander,” I say.