But they kept their distance.
That night, she didn’t dream about fire.
She dreamed instead of a massive dragon with Eileen’s face. Jillian, precious Jillian. Perfect Jillian, Douglas’s beloved. You’ll need a miracle, a miracle, a miracle….
Then Robert was there, a perfect fairy tale prince, riding through the snow, ready to fight the dragon. His sword was drawn, his arm was ready.
But Eileen was laughing at him. He was the one who strung the arrow. He was the one to shoot Morwenna straight through the heart….
She jerked awake. He was at her side, instantly alert. Immediately, his arms were around her, his eyes anxious, even in the shadows. “The burning…?”
She looked at him and laughed. “No, no, I’m sorry I woke you.”
“What, then?”
“Eileen. She was a dragon. But it’s okay—you were fighting her off.” She was smiling, but he frowned. “Really. She was a big, fat, black dragon. It was actually very funny.”
He eased back, watching her. “You’re really all right?”
“Absolutely. Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because I’m wide awake now.”
“Meaning…?”
“I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you or anything, but if we’re even remotely thinking about two dozen children, it would never be too soon to start.”
She laughed, and then, still laughing, she threw herself into his arms. “It seems I’m wide awake myself,” she whispered.
* * *
Three days later, they all gathered once again at the house in Connecticut. They spent the first few days shopping like crazy, then insanely wrapping, throwing themselves entirely into the Christmas spirit. Eileen and Gary were behaving a bit strangely, whispering all the time, with Eileen far more quiet than catty, which was definitely different for her.
The relationship between Connie and Joe was still strained, and Jillian wondered if it wouldn’t be better after all if Connie told her husband the truth.
Connie’s mom, the kids, Amelia and Gracie, who seemed to have become one of the crowd, seemed to be the most cheerful among them—unaware, perhaps, of the underlying currents of unease. Admittedly, though, despite the tension she sometimes felt, Jillian had a wonderful time at the parties they held during the week. One was for the sales staff and buyers, another for the charities with which they were associated, and the last for the children of St. Mary’s Orphanage, a follow-up to the skating party. Jenny came back for that one and played with Tricia and Liza, who didn’t mind that she didn’t speak. When she left, she once again said, “Thank you” to Jillian.
Griff went missing at one point during the party. Douglas needed him for something, and Jillian went searching for him.
She found him in the library. Reading the book. She grabbed it from him, not sure why she felt red-faced.
“Hey,” he protested. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“Is that your personal property?”
“No.”
“Then, may I finish reading it?”
“Not now. Grandfather is looking for you.”
“Fine.”
“Now.”
“I’m coming,” he told her.
She turned around and left him. Later, when she went back for the book, it was gone. The fact that Griff had it disturbed her greatly, and she wasn’t sure why, unless it had something to do with Connie’s warning.
She didn’t want to let Robert know. He was already growing more and more tense as the holiday approached.
* * *
On the morning of Christmas Eve, at the breakfast table, Douglas tapped his spoon against his glass. “I have an announcement,” he told them.
“Oh my God!” Griff cried out dramatically. “He’s changed the will. In memory of Jeeves and in honor of our new black cat, the entire Llewellyn fortune is to be left to a home for wayward alley cats.”
“Not a bad idea, Griff,” Douglas said. “But no. I wanted to let you know that after a tremendous amount of persuasion, Amelia has agreed to be my wife.”
Jillian gasped with pleasure, jumping up. “Amelia! Oh, merry Christmas.”
Amelia smiled back. “He bought me the most beautiful ring.”
“There you go,” Griff said, throwing up his hands. “The patriarch has had it with all of us. He’s marrying a sweet young thing, and they’re going to produce all new, far better behaved, offspring.”
“That’s it, Griff, dear,” Amelia said. “I always wanted my first child before my seventieth birthday.”
Eileen stood up suddenly, looking very pale. “Joke, Griff, just go on—joke!” she exclaimed. Then she suddenly burst into tears and went running upstairs.
“Wow,” Griff said, looking totally lost and confused. “I didn’t think she wanted the money that badly.”
Gary stood, stared at Griff, threw his napkin down and went after Eileen.
“It isn’t the money,” Connie said softly.
They all stared at her. Then, suddenly, Jillian thought she understood. “Is Eileen pregnant?” she gasped.
“No, it’s more than that,” Gracie murmured.
“I think you’re right,” Robert said very softly. “I think she’s lost a baby.”
Douglas stood. “Well, I didn’t mean to make such a happy occasion for me such a sadness for my granddaughter. Excuse me.” He was going up to see Eileen, Jillian knew. But he paused, looking back. “Jillian, Robert, though I believe most of the family has guessed, I think it’s time you shared your news, as well.”
“Jillian,” Griff declared, “you’re pregnant.”
“No, I’m not pregnant. That I know of,” she added as a quick afterthought.
“But we are married,” Robert said.
No one moved.
“That’s all?” Daniel said after a moment.
“I can even tell you when you went off and did the deed,” Theo said, laughing.
“We all knew,” Griff told them. “Well, if you’ll all excuse me, I still have some Christmas presents to wrap.”
“I’m going up to see Eileen,” Jillian murmured. She glanced at Robert, then left the table, anxious to talk with her cousin.
Upstairs, she found that Douglas had been and gone, and Gary was nowhere in sight, either. Eileen wasn’t especially welcoming when she told Jillian to come in, but she at least allowed her to enter.
Jillian sat by the bed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked softly.
“There wasn’t that much to tell,” Eileen said with a shrug, looking away. “I was stunned when I found out, and I admit all I thought at first was wow, how great, I’ve beaten Jillian to something at last. Then…then I realized I wanted the baby. It was this wonderful life, a person. Gary and I had created a person. And then I lost it.”
“Oh, Eileen, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“How could you?” Eileen asked bitterly. “You’re off in your own little world with Robert. The perfect mate for the perfect grandchild. Maybe Grandfather really did hire him so you two could create your own dynasty. Which you will now, of course. You’re perfect. You’ll never have a miscarriage.”
“Eileen, anyone can miscarry. You’ll have another baby. And Gary will probably be thrilled, because you’ll finally break down and marry him.”
Eileen turned away from her. “Jillian, I’m being nasty to you. Don’t you dare go being nice to me.”
Jillian sighed softly. “Eileen, I’m so sorry. But things will get better.”
“I even thought of adopting the little girl. But she liked you better.”
“You mean Jenny? Eileen, you made me go skate with her.”
“Jillian, please, just leave me alone. Just—just for now.”
“Sure. But you’re wrong about that little girl, Eileen. She just wants love. Love her, and she’ll love you back.”
Jillian started out of the room.
“Jilly?”
“Y
es?”
“You’re not going to believe this, what with the way I’ve just treated you, but…”
“But?”
“I do love you.”
“I love you, too,” Jillian said, and left her.
She walked back downstairs and was surprised to hear her grandfather’s voice coming from the library—and it was rising. She heard a male voice reply to him—an angry male voice. At first she thought her grandfather and Daniel were at it again.
Then she realized it was Robert talking.
She shouldn’t eavesdrop. Not even on those two.
But she walked closer and just stood there, her hand on the knob.
“Now you want me to stop. Now, when I have something! You told me to watch out for her. You even hired me because of my past. And I have watched out for her, I’ve done everything in my power to be with her every minute—”
He broke off, as she pushed open the door and stepped in. She felt as if she were burning from head to toe.
She stared at her grandfather first. “You hired him to watch out for me? As a well-educated bodyguard?”
“Jillian,” Douglas protested. “It wasn’t like that.”
“And you!” She spun on Robert. “You’ve done everything in your power to be with me every minute. You sure have. You slept with me. You even married me.”
“Jillian…” He stood, speaking through clenched teeth. “You’re acting like a fool.”
“A fool? I must be stark raving mad! I listened to you. I listened to you pretend that Milo was in the room, and I fell for everything you said. Grandfather, how dare you? Well, do you both want to know something? I don’t want your protection. I’d rather cast my lot with the rest of them.”
She spun around and strode down the hallway. But she could hear them behind her.
“Jillian, wait!” Robert shouted.
“Robert, you’ve got to wait, give her a minute to think.”
Her grandfather might slow him down, but Robert was coming after her. She hurried down the corridor, grabbed a jacket from the hall closet and ran outside. She wasted no time but headed straight for the stables.
She didn’t talk to Jimmy; she didn’t go for a saddle. She just threw a bridle on Crystal, leapt up bareback and went racing out into the snow.
She rode for hours, thoughts tumbling through her mind. He had married her because he’d been hired to. She’d been so much in love—and he had been on guard duty! In a way, he’d shot her through the heart in this lifetime, too.
It was Christmas Eve. The light was already beginning to fade. And she needed to get back to the house; she wanted to spend the holiday with people she loved.
Including Robert.
It was, after all, Christmas, and she had to give him a chance.
She rode back to the house, heading toward the stables. As she got close, she saw the house door open. Gracie came running out. “Jillian?” she said, shivering as she reached the horse’s side.
“Yes, Gracie?”
Gracie, hugging her arms across her chest, shivered, smiling. “You’re wrong about Robert. He loves you so much.”
Jillian flushed, wondering just how much the whole household knew.
“Thanks, Gracie.”
“He’s been out searching for you. I think he was heading for the cottage. Jillian, if he loved me that way, I’d be at that cottage, giving him a chance.”
Jillian hesitated, still hurt. But she couldn’t believe that everything had been a lie. He had been with her through too much. Maybe even through a second lifetime, a second chance. And she’d been in his arms, made love with him; surely that emotion hadn’t been a lie.
“Thanks, Gracie,” she said. “Thanks so much.”
She turned Crystal around, patting his neck, and started for the cottage at a lope that quickly became a gallop. She reined in when she reached the cottage. There were hoofprints in the snow. Someone had been there. Was he still there now? If he was, she didn’t see his horse, but she had to go in and check. She had to hope.
She leapt from her horse and raced inside. Someone had been there. A fire was burning in the hearth, water was boiling on the stove.
“Robert?” she called as she pulled off her gloves, walking around the ground floor. “Robert?” He didn’t answer. Maybe he was upstairs in the studio. She walked up, then sighed, blinking back tears. The room was empty. It was her own fault. She had run away. She hadn’t given him a chance. But this was Christmas Eve. He would give her another chance when she finally found him, she was certain.
She walked over to the easel where Milo had worked. “I miss you, too, you know, Milo. So much. I wish you had appeared to me.”
“Jillian.”
She heard her name, weakly at first. Then more strongly. Coming from the stairs.
She turned. Blinked.
Milo.
Not really. Not Milo in the flesh. Milo, barely there, a reflection on the air, nothing more.
“Milo,” she whispered.
“Jillian, get out. Run!” he told her. It seemed difficult for him to talk to her, to form words.
She shook her head. “Milo, I’m not afraid of you.”
“It’s not me, Jillian. Just…run.”
“Why?” she demanded.
He tried to speak, but his image blurred, faded.
Like a wisp of smoke.
Smoke!
Then she knew. She heard the crackle of flame, and the wisp of smoke was suddenly a billowing. Fire!
Jillian started to race back down the stairs, but the flames were bursting upward, blocking her escape.
It was her dream come to life, tongues of fire, hungry, rabid, reaching upward. Reaching for her.
She opened her mouth and began to scream.
And scream…
CHAPTER 16
Robert had ridden for hours. He’d gone to the cottage, but finding no sign of Jillian there, he had returned to the house, hoping against hope that she would be back. When he didn’t find her, he was ready to head out again, but he decided to accost Douglas and Daniel first, in case they could help in any way.
“She’s out there somewhere, and I don’t know where.”
“She’s an excellent rider, and she knows this terrain. She’s going to be all right,” Douglas said firmly, but Robert could tell he wasn’t sure himself.
Theo walked in from the kitchen. “I’ll go with you, Robert,” he said. “Maybe I can think of a few places to look that might not occur to you.”
“Great, thanks.”
“Griff’s coming, too. He’s gone down to the barn to get our horses,” Theo said, pulling on a pair of gloves.
He left, and Robert stared from Daniel to Douglas. “Douglas, you were afraid of something happening to Jillian, afraid someone in this family was behind it. You don’t want that to be true, and neither do I. But you are worth a small fortune, and that can bring out the worst in people. You and Daniel have been fighting for weeks. What’s going on?”
They were going to answer him, by God. In the past hour, the fear he had been feeling had doubled, tripled. He hadn’t wanted to come here, to this house. At first it had been just gut instinct, but then he’d thought about the book. Morwenna had refused to leave her home because of her father. Jillian had insisted on coming here because of her grandfather. It was frighteningly similar.
As he’d ridden in search of her, he had hoped the ghost of Milo Anderson would appear to lead him in the right direction, which he knew was totally insane.
But all he had now was that insanity. He had to use it.
“The argument has nothing to do with Jillian,” Daniel said heatedly.
“What was it about?” Robert persisted.
“My sex life. Are you happy?”
Robert stared at Daniel, frowning.
“I’m not pleased with his choices,” Douglas said.
“And I’m not pleased that he thinks he has a right to pass judgment on my choices,” Daniel said flatly.
Daniel’s frown seemed sincere. “In my desk? I got rid of all of it when you told me about the cat.”
“It was there.”
Before Daniel could respond, Griff burst into the room. “There’s a fire.”
“Where?” Douglas exploded.
Robert could barely breathe. “Where?” he repeated, terror filling him. Fire. She had dreamed of fire, had awakened screaming with terror. Fire…
“Where?” he thundered.
“I think it’s the cottage. If we—”
He was out of the house before Griff could finish speaking. He’d taken Igloo that day; he leapt back on him now. Griff reached his side, along with Theo, who was shouting that his horse was gone. “Go, go both of you! I’ll catch up. Who the hell has Cream?” he muttered. “Go!”
Robert needed no encouragement.
He had never ridden so hard in his life. Desperate as he was, he became aware of each slight sound, each nuance of scent. The day was cold, crisp. The sky was blue. His horse’s hooves made thunder, striking upon the ground. Distant thunder, muffled by the thick blanket of snow. The cold seeped into him, though he was sweating with fear.
His horse’s hooves seemed to beat out words. We will not make it. We will not make it.
He knew, suddenly, that history could repeat itself.
He knew that he had ridden through the snow before and failed. Now he had a second chance to save her. And if he failed again…? His heart was sick, and he was afraid.
“Robert, you’ll kill yourself, and we’ll never get to her!” Griff called to him.
“We’re almost there! The cottage is just ahead.”
“Oh Lord!” Griff shouted. “The flames…”
Robert gritted his teeth. He had to believe. But in what? Miracles? That he could ride into the fire and save her? He would. By God, he would.
* * *
With the fire racing up the stairs, she’d had no choice but to retreat—once she’d realized that she would die if she didn’t stop panicking. At first she had felt rooted to the spot, but now she hurried to the rear of the studio, then rushed into the bathroom to soak a towel to put over her face to filter out the smoke. Then she’d looked out into the night. It would be a long fall, but she would land in the snow. She wouldn’t let herself think about the rocks below the snow, cold and hard. Anything had to be better than the flames.
A Season of Miracles Page 26