Such a weak word for all the turmoil going on inside him, he shook his head in confusion. How could you feel ecstatic and at the same time scared to death? You wanted to shout it to the world, but keep it locked inside you. Hell, no wonder he never did relationships. Well it was too late now for regrets, he told himself. He was in love with Cooper and now he was going to find away so that they could spend more time together.
It wasn't going to be easy, but he'd find a solution that would work for both of them. Once again, he wondered if she would be agreeable to moving to Dallas, and live here with him. His gaze whipped around the chrome and tiled kitchen. Cooper was the very first woman he'd bought home and it felt right that she was here now. He didn't feel as if she was invading his space, but would it feel that way say after a month or two? He frowned, and grew even more confused.
Hell, he was losing his sanity, he blew out a breath of aggravation and a growl rumbled in his chest. Leave it, he told himself, he would have plenty of time to come up with the ideal solution that would work perfectly well for both of them. In the meantime, there were other matters that needed to be taken care of and dealt with. Cooper and his relationship would have to placed on the back burner for now.
~*~
In the darkness, Cooper let the silent tears trickle down her cheeks as she lay in Nate's sleeping arms. Tomorrow, they would return home and the day after that she would put Sandie and her family to rest, and she would also be saying goodbye to the man she loved. Which meant she would have only one more night with Nate.
It was breaking her heart and she was emotionally torn, but she knew it was the only sensible thing to do. A soft sob broke passed her lips and she squeezed her hers shut praying she hadn't woken Nate. However, when she felt his hand caress down her arm, she knew that she had.
Nate was only dozing when he heard the little cry, his heart broke knowing that Cooper was crying. “We'll get through this sweetheart. I know how much this is hurting you.” He whispered against the side of her head and tightened his arms around her.
“I know and thank you for being there for me.”
“There's no need to thank me sweetheart.” Nate frowned, something in the tone of her voice had him concerned, but when she spoke next his worry evaporated.
“Nate make love to me.” Cooper wanted to lose herself in his arms, for at least a little while she wanted to forget everything. She sighed gratefully, when he rolled her over and his body covered hers.
His heart banged in his chest, Nate tenderly brushed the lock of hair of her face before his mouth slowly lowered to hers.
Cooper was swept away by Nate's dexterous mouth, tongue, hands and fingers playing over her body in exquisite ecstasy. When he finally slipped into her body, he sent her into a world of blissful rapture.
Unable to sleep after making love to Cooper, Nate spooned her sleeping body. Something was off, he knew it was, but what? It wasn't as if their lovemaking hadn't been phenomenal, there was just something odd about it and he couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe he was just imagining it, perhaps it was all the stress they were both under. Yet he couldn't stop the niggling feeling that something was wrong.
Did he only imagine Cooper's desperation when they were making love or was it real, and if it was, what did it mean? His gut knotted as his concern increased. Actually now that he thought about it, the moment she entered the kitchen earlier today she'd been acting weird, and it wasn't because they were going to the morgue. No it was definitely something else, but what?
His heart started sinking and he shook his head in denial. No, he wouldn't believe it, surely not. But the longer he thought about it, he realized it was a possibility. Could Cooper be trying to put some distance between them and if she was, why? Surely, after all that has happened, she's come to realize that there is more than sex between them.
However, the longer he thought, the surer he was that she was trying to separate herself from him. He had to do something and fast, he wasn't prepared to lose her now that he was in love with her. But what? How could he fix this before she had the chance to end things between them? Desperation clawed at him as he tried to come up with a way to convince her that they belonged together.
Oh God, he couldn't lose her, not yet, not now, not ever. He had the next few days he told himself, surely he could talk her around. Yet his anxiety and fear amped up because deep down in his gut he knew there was a very good chance that he could lose her. He didn't have any idea how to stop it from happening, but he was going to do everything he could to make sure it never did.
No way, no way in hell was he going to give her up without a fight. He couldn't.
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* * *
EIGHTEEN
With mounting concern, Nate watched Cooper from across the crowded room. It seemed that everyone in town was filling the house, and had come to pay their condolences. It broke his heart to see the sad little smile on Cooper's mouth, and it tore at his gut when he had to stand beside her at the graves while she silently wept. He was worried though, desperately worried that she was pushing him away. Oh not physically but she was erecting barriers around herself that he just couldn't scale, no matter how hard he tried.
Tonight though, when they were alone, he was going to talk to her. He wanted to put it off a little longer, but he was afraid that if he didn't do it now it would be too late. Out the corner of his eyes, he noticed people starting to leave and sighed in relief. Putting down his drink, he strode towards Cooper and when he reached her, wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. His chest ached when she stiffened and tried to move away. He wasn't about to let her go and held her more firmly.
When she felt the arm slide across her back, Cooper didn't have to glance up to know who it was. Her body and senses knew the moment he reached her side. She couldn't look at him, the last time she did, she couldn't miss seeing the confusion and fear in his eyes. It told her that he sensed something was wrong, but wasn't sure what. Soon though, he would know and she wasn't looking forward to the traumatizing end after all that she'd been through the last few days.
She didn't dare put if off though, it would only become harder to end things between them. No, she had to do it just as soon as everyone left and by the looks of things, it would be only a matter of minutes.
Nate stood in the open doorway with Cooper and watched his brother sidle down the path. “How are you holding up sweetheart?” He asked her with concern and his heart dropped to his feet when he saw her empty eyes.
“Fine thank you. Nate I'd like to thank you for all that you've done to help me through this. It was very kind and considerate of you. I know it might seem ungrateful, but I think it would be best if we don't see each other again.” There she'd said it and without bursting into tears. However, it didn't stop her heart shattering as she watched the disbelief and hurt enter his eyes.
For a moment, Nate was at a loss for words, the devastating pain gripping his chest was overwhelming in its intensity. He drew in a rough breath and every sinew in his body went rigid. “You're sending me away? Just like that?"
Why was he making this so hard, Cooper bemoaned. “It's for the best. You live in Dallas, I live here. You're rich and sophisticated and I'm just a small town doctor. Think about it Nate, we have nothing in common but fantastic sex. But it's only sex.”
“Damn it Cooper it's more than sex and you know it. If you give it a chance we can work things out. And you damn well know it's baloney that the difference in our life styles has anything to do with how we feel about each other.” Nate all but shouted back at her, but knew when she raised her chin that she wasn't going to back down.
“Please Nate just go. Don't make this harder than it already is. In a few days you'll realize it's better this way.” Cooper knew that if he didn't go soon, she was going to burst into tears.
Nate wiped a hand over his face in frustration. “Fine I'll go, but only because I know how hard the last few days have been on you. I'll e
ven give you time to come to your senses, but I'm coming back Cooper. Mark my words, woman. This thing between us isn't over yet by a long shot."
Cooper sucked in a ragged breath, and her heart gave a jolt over his warning. Her eyes brimming with tears, she watched him stride furiously down the path, he spoke heatedly with his brother before they both climbed in the car and drove off. Closing and locking the door, she dragged herself up the stairs and once she entered her room, threw herself down on the unmade bed and wept.
~*~
“What in the hell's going on? I thought you were spending the week?” Trent asked as they drove away. He knew when he turned to wave to his brother and Cooper that they were discussing something heatedly.
Nate let Trent drive, he was so furious, hurt and upset to get behind the wheel. “That was the plan, however she sent me away. I had a gut feeling she wanted to end our relationship, but I'd hoped for a bit more time to make her see reason.”
Trent whistled between his teeth. “I didn't realize you were involved with each other. I did wonder though when she stayed at your place.”
A long heavy sigh eased out of him. “It started the first time I came here and we both agreed it would only be for the weekend. Hell, Trent I thought after that weekend I just needed one more night with her to get her out of my system. But it still wasn't enough and after the accident, I realized just how much I cared for her.”
His brother's admission floored him and Trent didn't know what to say.
“Damn infuriating, stubborn woman won't admit she feels something for me. She just informed me that the only thing we have between us was sex and nothing else. Even if it was amazing sex." Nate growled and slammed his fist down on the dash.
“Whoa, Bro that's a little bit too much information.” Trent bit the inside of his mouth to stop himself from laughing when Nate speared him with a glare of disgust “They do say though that there's a fine line between lust and love.”
"And you would know this, how?" Nate snarled the question, knowing he was acting like an idiot, but couldn't seem to help himself.
Trent ignored his brother's sarcasm. “What do you plan to do?”
Nate swung his head and glared determinedly at his brother. “Give her a little space for now. Hopefully, she'll come to her senses in a few days.” But he was worried though that she would refuse to acknowledge her feelings.
“Sounds smart.” Trent eyed Nate out the corner of his eye and saw the pain and apprehension on his face.
Was it being smart, Nate didn't know. However, at this point he didn't have any other ideas. He just prayed it would work, he didn't even want to think about what would happen if she didn't wake up and admit that she cared for him.
“And just what's going to happen if she does come around? Have you made any plans?” Trent wondered just how far Nate was going to take his relationship with Cooper.
For a few minutes, Nate was silent and then let out a heavy sigh. “I thought she might consider moving to Dallas. Work in one of the hospitals there. I was thinking about her moving in with me.”
Now that really floored him, Trent took a quick glance at his brother before he returned his attention back to the road. “You're actually going to let a woman move into your hallowed sanction. Hell, this must be serious. Do I hear wedding bells in your future?”
The mention of marriage, Nate recoiled. He hadn't thought of anything but continuing their relationship, and her maybe coming to live with him. He loved her, but hell did he love her enough to consider a permanent future with her. And was it fair on her not to contemplate a life time commitment? It was a long time before he replied to his brother's question. “No I haven't given it any thought. It's a huge step and I'll have to give it some consideration.”
“Wise decision bro. You don't want to rush into anything and end up regretting it later.”
Was Trent right, Nate was starting to wonder if maybe asking Cooper to move to Dallas was a bit hasty after all. Well, he had the next few weeks to consider his options. After all, it would be a momentous step for both of them to take without considering the long term consequences. “You're right. I shouldn't make any hasty decisions.”
“Have you thought that a few weeks to cool things down might be what you both need?” Trent didn't want his brother confusing love for sex, and then later realize he'd made a huge mistake.
Nate didn't bother answering his brother, he was now considering whether he might be mistaking his feelings for Cooper. After all, he told himself, it had been an emotional time for both of them. And just maybe what he was feeling towards her wasn't love but just a reaction to the grief they were both sharing. Yet, why was her sending him away continuing to hurt him so much. He blew a frustrated breath out, leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes.
He still wanted her with a passion, but perhaps a month or two apart would help him find out exactly what he truly felt for her. It would be damned hard, but it would be for the best. And what he asked himself, if she contacted him first. Just the thought of it sent a zing of anticipation through him. He would cross that bridge when and if she did. Other than that, he would let things ride.
Hell, two months without her was going to be an eternity. Nevertheless, it was the wisest thing to do. He just hoped it didn't backfire on him and he lost her altogether. Well dumbass she isn't yours now anyway, so what do you have to lose? Nothing, he told himself and yet everything. Hell, the damn woman was going to drive him insane, but before she did, he was going to sort this mess out. Be damned if he wouldn't.
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* * *
NINETEEN
Concentrating on the papers in front of him, Nate's head jerked up when his office door was thrown open and his brother marched across the room, and stopped on the other side of his desk. "Is there a reason you're here disturbing me?" He snarled as he tossed down his pen and leaned back against his chair.
“Damn right there is. Everyone here is ready to quit, including me. You better get off your proverbial and do something about the situation between you and Cooper. And by hell, do it now.” Trent growled.
Nate's jaw clenched, he hissed out a harsh breath. “It's not yours or anyone else's damn business.”
“The hell you say. Because you've postponed the meeting the Jackson brothers twice, they're thinking of pulling out of the deal. You've had plenty of time to decide what you want Nate.”
Trent was right. He'd been putting off contacting Cooper, frightened that she wouldn't agree to see him. “You're right, it's time.”
“Great.”
Solemnly, Nate watched his brother stride across the room and closed the door behind him. He closed his eyes for a few minutes and drew in a deep breath, lifting his lashes he leaned forward and lifted up the phone, and punched in the number. His heart racing he waited for Cooper to answer, his stomach took a dive when he heard the unfamiliar feminine voice on the other end.
“Hello.”
“Hi, is Cooper about or is she at the clinic?” He was disappointed when he didn't recognize who it was.
“Is that you Nate?”
“Yeah.” He drawled out.
“How wonderful to hear from you. This is Kate. Donny and I are getting married in a few months and we bought Cooper's house.”
His stomach took another dive and something was crushing his chest, making it nearly impossible to breathe. He rasped in some air. “Cooper sold her house? Has she left town?”
“Yeah she's been gone nearly a month. I would have thought she would have looked you up when she moved to Dallas. Maybe she's been too busy, you know settling into her apartment and her new job at one of the hospitals there.”
Dallas, apartment, job. His heart picked up speed. “You don't happen to know which hospital?”
“Sorry Nate, I don't. I'm sure she'll be in touch with you soon. Your invitation is in the post. I hope you'll come for the wedding. Maybe you and Cooper can drive down together.”
“Yeah sure thing Kate. Wouldn't miss it. Bye now.” Before she could say anything else, he hung up. He wiped a hand over his face. Cooper was here. Somewhere here in Dallas. It hurt tremendously that she hadn't contacted him. Well it didn't matter he'd find her, and when he did he knew what he was going to do. He was taking an enormous risk, but Trent was right things couldn't continue the way they were.
~*~
Just finishing her shift, Cooper was writing up her files in the hospital cafeteria. When a shadow fell over her, she lifted her head and her heart almost stopped beating. Nate, here in the flesh and looking so darn gorgeous and sexy, she wanted to throw herself in his arms. She fought the temptation and smiled brightly. “Why Nate, what a surprise. I hope there's nothing seriously wrong to bring you here?”
It had taken him a few hours of phone calls to track her down, and a few minutes of sweet talking one of the nurses to find her. Now as he stared down at her beautiful face, Nate didn't have any more doubts about what he was about to do. She might be pretending that there wasn't anything between them other than sex, however, what he saw in her glorious eyes told him everything he needed to know. Love and desire were shining back at him. “Yes it's serious but I'm pretty positive it's not wrong.”
“Ah...I think I'm a little confused.” The moment she'd arrived in Dallas she'd had to stop herself endless times from calling him, or going to his penthouse. And now seeing him, she wanted to burst with happiness. Wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let him go.
“Then I'll explain it to you. Remember when you sent me away I told you that things weren't over between us.” He smiled when he saw her lick her lips nervously, it also started a fire in his belly, which he forced himself to ignore. “I've given you enough time Doc. More than enough in actual fact. You know there is more between us than sex. Amazing sex, fantastic sex. I want more than one more night in your bed Cooper. I want forever.”
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