by Hanna Hart
“I just have to grab some stuff and then I'll be heading out, too,” he said before disappearing into the house.
“Call me tomorrow, okay?” Wesley said, and Sophia nodded.
“Goodnight,” she said.
“Night,” he repeated before taking off in his car.
She watched him drive down the road, and when she saw his headlights disappear into the night sky, she walked back into her house.
“What was that?” Nash said with irritation as she stepped in through the screen door.
“His mom has cancer!” she said, throwing a hand into the air.
“I know,” he said, almost defensive. “And?”
“And?” she let out a frustrated laugh. “And he just sprung it on me tonight.”
“And?”
Sophia blinked. “And I can't just break up with him after he tells me something like that. You should have warned me!”
“I thought he would have told you by now,” he frowned. “Besides, weren't you the one who was so bent on honesty that you were going to tell him that we wanted to be together without any thought for his feelings? And now suddenly you're staying with him because you feel sorry for him?”
“I know,” she sighed. “I know, it's awful! I'll make it right, I swear, Nash.”
“Please, let’s not drag this out any longer than we have to, okay?”
She nodded. “We won’t. I promise.”
Chapter Fifteen
Nash
There were very few moments in Nash’s life where he felt like he was a teenager again but sneaking around to find places to kiss his girlfriend was certainly a step in that direction.
In the days since the baseball game, Nash and Sophia had been inseparable. Being with her felt right.
What felt wrong was whenever Wesley would call or text her during their time together and ask Sophia to hang out and she would politely decline.
Nash was getting impatient for her to break up with him.
“The sooner it gets done, the sooner we can stop feeling so weird about all this and get to actually enjoying ourselves,” he said in his office.
He had Sophia pressed against the wall, kissing her while the rest of the world continued to go by without notice.
A knock at the door drew the pair apart like shrapnel under heat.
“Come in,” Nash called, clearing his throat.
Wesley walked in with a tablet. He handed it to Nash and then turned, surprised to see Sophia standing there.
“Hey, you,” Wesley brightened. “I didn't know you were here!”
“Yeah, just came to talk to Nash about something,” she said without making eye-contact.
“I love when I get to benefit from you lecturing Nash,” Wesley laughed.
“Yeah,” Sophia said awkwardly, eyeing Nash briefly before announcing, “Well, I should be heading out. I'll talk to you guys later!”
“Hey, don't rush off on my account,” Wesley said.
“I'm not, I just really have to go.”
“Can you do dinner tonight?” the man asked, and Sophia shook her head.
“No, sorry. And now I'm on the verge of being late, so I'd better head back to the farm.”
“Alright,” Nash said, not looking up from the tablet and the expense reports Wesley had given him. “Say hi to Delilah for me.”
Sophia shut the office door behind her without a word, and Wesley cocked a curious brow.
“New cow,” Nash explained absent-mindedly. “How's it going, man?”
“Good, we have four wagon tours today, and we're pretty much booked solid until the end of November.
“That's great,” Nash said. “Way better than we expected.”
“Yeah…” Wesley trailed off, standing awkwardly in front of Nash’s desk.
He hoped that he wouldn't accuse him of being with Sophia, because if he did, Nash couldn't lie about it.
“So, what were you guys talking about?”
“Imogene,” Nash said without missing a beat. “Sophia is thinking of putting her in daycare instead of leaving her with Lauren all the time, and I said that we have a great daycare here if she wanted to utilize that.”
“Oh yeah? I told her that, too.”
Nash continued to busy himself in the account reports, but when he saw Wesley had no intention of leaving, he looked up and begrudgingly asked, “How are things going with you guys?”
“Okay, I think,” he answered unsurely. “She's a difficult one to read sometimes.”
“I know,” Nash laughed. He leaned back in his chair and said, “You know, she always said that she could read me, that we had this unspoken language.”
Wesley did his best to keep a smile on his face, but Nash could tell he was bothered by the comment.
“Was she right?” his friend asked.
“To a certain point,” Nash shrugged. “When it came to dissecting something, we were basically the same person. But I think she always knew how to read me better than I could read her, obviously.”
“Obviously?”
“Well, I was wrong about...” he said, then thought better of it.
“About what?”
“Forget it,” he shook his head. “Forget I said anything.”
“Aw, come on!” Wesley laughed. “What were you wrong about?”
“Well,” Nash narrowed his eyes curiously. “I proposed. She told you that, didn't she?”
He knew she hadn’t, but he wanted to bump this breakup along, and the farther away Wesley felt from Sophia, the better.
“No,” his friend said, looking stumped. “She didn't mention it. Actually, she avoided mentioning it. I guess she didn't want me to know that you guys were that serious about each other.”
“As it turns out, we weren't,” Nash chuckled.
“You weren't?”
“I mean…” Nash laughed. “Are Sophia and I married right now?”
“Oh, right,” Wesley chuckled as he slapped his forehead. “Obviously.”
“She said no. And that was the epitome of me thinking I knew her the way she knew me,” he said. “I thought I knew what she wanted. And Wesley? Getting married was the last thing she wanted.”
“That's why you broke up?”
He nodded. “Yup. She couldn't commit. She didn't want that life.”
“With you,” Wesley corrected.
“With anyone,” he said firmly.
“Do you think she still feels that way?”
Nash offered a shrug. “I have no idea, to be honest, but I'd guess she feels differently now.”
“I hope so,” Wesley said while wringing his hands. “We have a date this weekend, and I'm gonna tell her that I love her.”
Nash looked down at the flat surface of the desk in front of him. He swallowed uncomfortably, knowing that he was kissing the very girl his friend was in love with not fifteen minutes ago.
He wanted to tell Wesley right then. He wanted to say “Don’t do it,” but before he could think of any way to protest, Wesley said something that made him feel physically ill.
“I think she's my Kenzie.”
Nash looked up. “How do you mean?”
“You said you knew you were supposed to be with Kenzie when you met her. That she was the missing piece,” his friend said.
“And you feel that way about Sophia?”
“I think I do, yeah,” Wesley grinned.
“Look, man, I know you're going through a hard time right now, and you have all this family stuff going on, but just make sure you're not putting all your eggs in one basket, you know?” Nash warned. “Sophia is a great girl, but she's not…she's wild. She's her own person.”
“I know,” Wesley said fondly. “That's what I like about her. Besides, you just said she might be ready to settle down now.”
“Right, but I also implied that she doesn’t react well to declarations of affection,” he said hesitantly.
“Well, maybe that was just with you.”
“What do you
mean?” Nash asked.
“I mean, did it ever occur to you that maybe it wasn't that she didn't want to settle down, but that she didn't want to settle down with you?”
“Twist the knife, why don't ya?” Nash laughed.
He’d thought about it a hundred times, actually. And each time, he came back to the same answer…
If he and Sophia didn’t belong together, then nothing in the world made sense.
Even back then, leaving town had been the hardest thing Nash had ever done. Cutting off communication with Sophia cold turkey was like trying to kick a bad habit. He felt physical withdrawal pains from her love.
“But it worked out the way it was supposed to, didn't it?” Wesley said, interrupting him from his thoughts. “If Sophia hadn't turned you down, you never would have met Kenzie, and you loved her. Plus, then I wouldn't have been able to meet Sophia and Imogene.”
Nash nodded. “Right...”
The two continued to talk for some time, mostly about sports and the ranch, before Wesley went back to work.
The rest of the day seemed to drag.
Nash had never been so happy to leave work before.
He needed to get away from Wesley and the guilt he felt whenever they were in the same room together.
Nash went home for the first time in what felt like forever. He only went home to grab clothes and briefly once when he’d shown Sophia where he lived.
Despite the healing he’d been doing, he still hadn’t been able to face his marital home alone. Knowing that this was where he had begun his life as a married man made him feel uncomfortable in a way he couldn’t explain.
When he bought this house, he was with Kenzie. Now he was with Sophia.
He knew that his wife was no longer there to be with. He knew that it was pointless to punish himself for being happy without her, but his heart would always outweigh his logic, and he would feel a sweeping wave of sadness infect every part of him.
If things with Sophia kept going the way he thought they would, Nash decided that he would sell his ranch house and move in with her. He didn’t want this house anymore. He didn’t want to remember this life.
He’d mentioned selling his place while talking to his mother not too long ago, and she had urged him to keep it around.
“Years from now, you’ll be glad that you kept it,” she said.
“I don’t want to wait years to be happy,” he said.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she said in her soft, motherly way. “You’ll be happy well before then, believe me. When I lost your sister, I couldn’t walk by her nursery for months,” she said.
She spoke of his sister Natalie. He’d never met her. Gage was born, then Hayes, then Natalie, but she died of SIDS when she was just a few weeks old.
A year and a half later, Nash was born a healthy baby. Her miracle baby, as she liked to say.
“Your father kept insisting he take the nursery down,” she continued. “He said that every time I walked by it, it broke my heart, then it broke his heart. But you know what?”
“What?”
“I said no, and in time, when I started to feel better, I was glad that I kept that room around because it gave me the chance to relive everything good about having her around, no matter how briefly.”
Nash let out a breath, and his mother continued, “Do you see what I’m saying?”
“Yeah,” he said and told her that he would think about it.
But his mind was made up. He didn’t want to love his house. He didn’t want to exist in it without Kenzie, so why keep it at all?
He had his memories, and he would turn to those in the moments that he missed her, but for now, his mind was made up. He would sell the house as soon as it felt ready.
House aside, his mind remained fixed on Wesley for the rest of the night.
“She’s my Kenzie,” he heard his friend say over and over as he lay on the couch with Sophia.
Imogene was at Lauren’s, allowing them to be alone together.
Sophia pulled Nash on top of her on the couch and leaned up, reaching to kiss him. He loved the connection he felt when her lips were pressed against his, moving expertly to navigate the planes of his mouth and occasionally flicking her tongue against his.
Nash could usually lose himself in her kiss, but today something was different.
He pulled from her mouth, and she looked up at him in wonder before smiling coyly.
“So?” he said expectantly.
Her eyes went wide, and she giggled out, “So?” before reaching back up and kissing him again.
“It's been three days,” he said plainly.
She licked her curved lips, then looked down guiltily. “I know,” she said quietly.
“When are you gonna dump him?” he nudged before leaning back down and kissing her neck.
“I'm working on it,” she exhaled, craning her neck to give him a better playground. “It just never seems right, okay? I get up the nerve to, and then he'll start talking about how much he likes me, or he'll bring up his family, and it's like he knows I'm gonna do it or something!”
“Every time I see the guy, I feel like I have guilty slapped across my forehead,” he said.
“How do you think I feel?” she said. “Believe me, you’re preaching to the choir.”
“I'm also not crazy knowing that he still gets to kiss you,” he said, pulling up.
“Believe me, he gets a peck on the cheek and that's it,” she said firmly. “He can probably sense something's off anyway.”
“Hardly,” he scoffed, sitting up. “He's gonna tell you he loves you this weekend.”
“That’s soon.” Sophia closed her eyes and set her fingers against her right temple. “It makes me feel awful.”
“Just tell him you don't have chemistry with him,” he suggested. “You can't change chemistry.”
“I think I have to tell him the truth,” she said, and Nash set his jaw.
“We've talked about this. Please, for the sake of my friendship with the guy—”
“For the sake of your friendship, you shouldn't have kissed me!” she interrupted with a laugh.
“I can't help it,” he said, leaning back in to taste her one more time.
“Tomorrow,” he said in a whisper as the kiss broke. “Just, do it tomorrow, okay? Then we'll lay low for a few weeks, then we'll come out and say we're dating.”
“Why don't I just do it over text right now while you're here with me?” she offered, but Nash shook his head.
“Because then he'll want to come over. Trust me; it's not a good idea.”
The truth was Nash didn’t want to be there when Wesley found out. He had enough things in his life to feel bad about without adding hurting his friend to the list.
But Wesley would get hurt. Some things in life were inevitable.
Chapter Sixteen
Sophia
“Are you insane?” Lauren exclaimed as she followed Sophia into the pasture where the cows were herding.
She filled several troughs with feed, and one by one, the cows were alerted to the presence of food.
Sophia loved her animals. She loved the subtle differences in the cow’s coats and enjoyed seeing them interact so gently with one another.
Even though she had a small staff to take care of her farm, she still found that she mostly preferred being hands-on when it came to things like feeding and milking.
“Why are you breaking up with Wesley?” Lauren repeated as she watched her friend pour from the feed bag. “He's perfect!”
Sophia itched her nose with her shoulder, awkwardly shuffling her bag of grains as she did so. “I'm just not feeling it anymore,” she said.
“A few weeks ago, you said he was basically the perfect man. Handsome, kind, sweet—what gives?”
Sophia grabbed a small bucket full of the vegetable mash in the back of her truck and brought it back out to where the cows were feeding.
“I told you,” she said. “I just don't feel a connection to
him anymore. He's sweet, but I'm just looking for something a little deeper than that.”
“Just because he doesn't dissect the heck out of every song or TV show doesn't mean he isn't deep. Nice doesn't mean boring,” Lauren argued.
“I know it doesn't,” Sophia laughed. She knew this would be a hard pill for her friend to swallow. “I never said he was boring, I just, I changed my mind about him, okay? I'm allowed to change my mind.”
Lauren nodded, following her friend around the pen with crossed arms. “It's just weird. You seemed so happy about all of this until…”
“Until what?” Sophia asked.
Contemplation washed over Lauren’s face. She frowned deeply as she said, “Oh, Sophia. No! Why?”
“Why, what?” Sophia repeated.
“This has nothing to do with poor Wesley,” Lauren said with an eye-roll. “This has to do with Nash!”
Sophia blushed, but she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips. “I can't help it, Lauren. He's my soulmate!”
“Yes, he's your soulmate,” Lauren said exasperatedly. “That's all I've heard for the last three years, but sweetie, you have had all of this time to get back in touch with him, so why haven't you?”
“I was angry,” she explained, throwing the empty feed bag back into her truck-bed. “I thought I didn't need him. I thought he didn't want me, but it turns out he does.”
“He does? How do you know?”
“Because he told me so.”
Lauren rolled her wrist in the air and said, “And?”
“And we kissed, okay?”
With a slap to her forehead, Lauren sighed, “Sophia. How long has this been going on?”
“Just over a week.”
“Wesley doesn't deserve that,” Lauren said as she closed the driver’s side door of the truck behind her.
“I know, which is exactly why I'm going to break up with him tonight. We weren't even officially a couple!” she defended. “We just went out on some dates!”
“Yes, but he had expectations for this relationship, and you just kind of…” Lauren shrugged. “You just sort of used him until Nash came around.”
Sophia frowned deeply. “That's not true; I liked Wesley. Ugh, Lauren!”