* * *
Sidney straddled Rodrigo’s lap on the sofa. Their hungry kisses had become more amorous and would undoubtedly end the way they often did—with their tangled bodies in bed together. This time, however, Sidney pressed her palms against his chest and dragged away her mouth.
“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.
He didn’t want to leave, either. As much as he loved his home in Brazil, going back there was the least appealing thought he’d had in months. He didn’t want to leave Sidney behind. She’d come to mean more to him than he’d ever expected.
“Come back with me,” he said.
She laughed softly into his shoulder, as if he were kidding. She lifted her head and asked, “Are you serious?”
“Of course.” He smiled at her surprised expression.
“I can’t just up and leave. I have responsibilities. But I could fly down in a few weeks once I’ve had a chance to straighten out a few things here. I have plenty of vacation time saved up, so there’s no problem with me taking a couple of weeks off.”
He cupped her face in his hands. “Not for a visit. I want you to come to stay.”
Her eyes clouded in confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“I love you. I want to marry you.”
Even though he hadn’t planned to propose to her that night, it felt right. They were a perfect match and had the same disposition. He’d enjoyed her company and wanted to introduce her to his family and friends.
Her face changed from confused to saddened, and he sensed her withdrawal. This wasn’t the reaction he’d expected.
“I ca—I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I…I was married once, and I wasn’t very good at it.”
He laughed easily. “What does that have to do with anything? The problem is not marriage—it’s the people who come together. They have to be compatible, and we’re more than compatible.”
“Okay, well…I don’t speak the language and the culture is so different.”
His hands dropped at her paltry excuses. “That’s a strange thing to say. It’s not as if you couldn’t learn.”
“It might be difficult. I’ve lived in New York all my life, and to go to another country…” She shook her head in denial. “What would I even do there? I love my life here, and I can’t imagine living anywhere else.”
He frowned. “What are you saying?”
Her face became guarded and he could tell she was choosing her words carefully.
“My life is here. All my friends and family are here.”
“And what about us?”
She slid off his lap and walked across the room, wrapping her arms around her waist. He waited to hear what she had to say next because surely this had to be a big misunderstanding.
“I can’t marry you.” Her soft voice drifted to him, and his stomach tightened.
Still in denial, he went to her. She remained turned away from him, her head bowed.
“Why not? You love me, don’t you?”
“We’ve only known each other four months. I have a career. I have a life here.”
Taking her by the shoulders, he forced her to face him. “We talked about having children. We talked about—”
“You talked about having children. Not me.” She twisted out of his hands. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to marry you.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. He wasn’t ready to give up. “This does not make sense.”
“I knew you’d only be here for a short time, and I never expected more.”
“Tell me you don’t love me, and I will leave.”
“I didn’t expect you to feel this way.”
“I want to hear you say the words.” He was confident, certain she wouldn’t.
With a vigorous shake of her head, her eyes pleading, she whispered, “Don’t make me hurt you.”
“Say it.”
She looked down at the floor. Her arms tightened around her body and the heaviness in his stomach portended the words he didn’t want to hear.
“I don’t...love you.”
* * *
Like a physical blow, the words had knocked the wind out of him and made him feel foolish. How could he not have seen it? He hadn’t meant nearly as much to her as she’d meant to him. While he’d been thinking about forever, she’d only been thinking about right then.
Afterward they’d argued, of course, both saying things they probably shouldn’t have said. Mainly because he hadn’t been able to accept that she’d turned him down and had continued to push until she’d lashed out. She had accused him of feeling entitled when he really had no right to feel that way.
A fling. Her words from earlier in the day came back to haunt him.
Rodrigo looked at his drink. The trip down memory lane had been a painful reminder of what had been. She’d gotten under his skin. Having her here was a monumental distraction, but right now he didn’t care if she loved him or not.
He couldn’t think or concentrate, knowing she was only a short distance away. What made it even harder was imagining her moving to Brazil and becoming a permanent fixture in his life, the way he’d wanted. She was the only woman he’d ever asked to marry him, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget her. He wanted to convince her to spend more time with him. He wanted to convince her to…stay.
He swallowed the last of his drink.
He suspected Sidney hadn’t told him the whole truth about why she’d turned him down. He felt there was more to her reasoning than she’d let on, and it had nothing to do with him being prideful or feeling entitled, as she’d suggested. He just knew, in his gut, that she was keeping something from him.
But what?
The attraction between them was as strong as ever. Before she left Rio, he’d find out the real reason she’d turned down his proposal, surmount it, and get her to agree to marry him this time.
After she arrived at the hotel, Sidney had checked in with her mother and then gone down to the hotel restaurant for a late meal. Wearily, she’d undressed when she’d returned to her room. The tension of the day had taken its toll and all she wanted was to crawl under the sheets and forget everything that had happened since this morning. But she didn’t.
Instead, she picked up her purse and pulled out a photo that reminded her of why she’d come. She walked to the window and looked down on the lit street, the moon hovering over the landscape and reflecting in the dark water of the Atlantic Ocean. Cars honked and pedestrians wandered around below. Some holding hands, others arm in arm.
With her fingertips she traced an outline of the person in the photo. A baby.
Only a few more weeks and she could adopt the perfect little girl in the picture, with her big brown eyes and chubby cheeks—Alana. Born to a teenage mother, she’d been given up at birth and, as far as Sidney was concerned, placed with the adoption agency just for her. But she had to secure this contract first and keep her job long enough to make the adoption happen. She could potentially lose her little girl if she didn’t have stable employment.
Six years ago Sidney had married the man she’d thought she’d spend the rest of her life with. But it wasn’t meant to be. Her ex-husband had come from a large Southern family and had wanted a large family of his own. They’d married right out of college and tried to get pregnant immediately, but after almost a year of trying they’d gone to the doctor and learned the truth. Sidney was unable to have children, the cause unknown. Telling them that this was typical of twenty percent of all infertility cases hadn’t helped at all. Their relationship had become strained and was only worsened by the pressure applied by his family.
She’d gone through hormone treatments and acupuncture. Every time someone else became pregnant—whether planned or unplanned—it had stung. But hearing about unwanted children abandoned at hospitals or tossed in the trash had hurt even more. She’d questioned the fairness of it. Why was it that she, who wan
ted a child so badly, couldn’t have one but others who didn’t could?
She and her husband hadn’t been able to afford the more expensive fertility treatments, and in the end, their marriage hadn’t survived the trials of infertility.
Over the years, jealousy, anger, and other emotions friends wouldn’t typically associate with her personality, consumed her. She had three beautiful godchildren and loved them all. She dutifully celebrated their birthdays and other milestones, but she wanted children of her own and sometimes felt as if her friends offered her the role of godmother out of pity.
Resting her head against the window glass, she closed her eyes. That’s why she couldn’t marry Rodrigo. When she’d fallen in love with him, she’d wanted to tell him but hadn’t been able to. In his culture family meant everything. Close family ties were prevalent in all areas of his life, and he had spoken openly of his desire to have a family.
Embarrassed, ashamed, and feeling less than a woman, she’d turned down his proposal and made him think their feelings weren’t mutual. It had been the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. But she’d let him go and taken his anger, rather than have him look at her with pity, or even worse, disgust. She’d seen that look before, and she couldn’t bear to see it in his face.
Chapter 6
Just like the day before, Javier met Sidney downstairs, but when she climbed into the back of the limo, she was not alone. Rodrigo waited for her in the interior. He smelled good and looked beyond handsome in a black three-piece suit. She cautiously slid across the seat and shyly greeted him.
“You shouldn’t be surprised to see me,” he said. “I tried to call you last night so we could talk, but I couldn’t reach you.”
“Did you?” she said instead of outright fibbing. She’d seen his calls but had wanted time to herself to think.
He didn’t respond to her remark, but she could tell he knew she wasn’t being totally honest by the lift at the corner of his mouth.
“We do need to talk about what happened.”
“No argument there, but now may not be the best time.” She glanced at the glass partition between them and Javier.
“He can’t hear us.” He sat back and extended his arm along the back of the seat, looking relaxed while she remained a bundle of nervous energy. “Making love to you in my office was completely unexpected, but clearly we have unfinished business between us.”
Sidney twisted the belt of her dress between her fingers. “What does that mean?” she asked, afraid of the answer.
“I won’t beat around the bush. When you finish in the meetings today, I want you to come home with me.”
Her fidgeting stopped.
“You weren’t expecting that,” he said.
“No, I wasn’t.”
“It is the only thing that makes sense,” he said in a matter-of-fact voice. “We still have chemistry. Passion.” He ran a fingertip down the side of her face, the gentle movement evoking a torrent of sensation in the exact spot he touched.
She hadn’t expected him to suggest she come stay with him. In fact, she hadn’t been sure what to expect at all, but she’d been ready to beg him to keep the contract if that’s what it took to keep her job and ensure she wouldn’t lose her chance of getting her baby. Her little girl waited on her, and she couldn’t let pride get in the way of completing the adoption. She’d already invested a lot of time and thousands of dollars, and nothing in the world would prevent her from bringing home her sweet little angel.
“What about the contract?”
His eyes hardened. “Winning the contract is not contingent on sleeping with me, if that’s what you’re asking. I promise not to interfere.”
She breathed easier, but he turned away from her. She’d angered him.
“I’ll come by your room to pick you up with your luggage after I leave work.”
“Thank you,” Sidney said quietly.
“Thank you?” he scoffed. “For what? For being weak? For being unable to resist giving you whatever you want?”
The car pulled up in front of Moda headquarters, but he didn’t wait for Javier to open the door. He climbed out without a backward glance and left her alone in the car.
She’d angered him and she regretted it, but she had to be sure that he wouldn’t pull the contract from under her. Javier then took her to Belo and she didn’t hear from Rodrigo for the rest of the day.
Before leaving late that afternoon, she said goodbye to Nelza and Gilberto. At the hotel she packed up her belongings to wait for Rodrigo. With fresh makeup and every hair in place, she was ready for when he arrived.
When he did, she opened the door and noted how his eyes lit up. He had a way of making her feel like the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “Linda. Sempre.” Beautiful. Always.
The first time she’d heard the words in New York, she’d known what he said without a translation because they were so close to Spanish, which she had studied in college. Hearing them now brought back memories of their time together. He’d said them often, usually when they were on their way somewhere and she was dressed up. It had made her take extra care with her appearance. She would style her hair into neat curls and apply her makeup carefully, making sure her clothes were perfect so she could hear the same murmured words of appreciation.
“Thank you,” she said. Her cheeks flushed with warmth.
He’d mellowed since this morning and wore the relaxed clothes to match, looking more like the man she’d met and fallen in love with. Chinos covered his long legs and a shirt open at the collar revealed his strong throat.
How many times had they lain in bed together and she’d traced the line of his collarbone with the tip of her finger? With her lips, even? Laughing at her own power when he groaned and grabbed her hips to thrust into her with a helplessness that made her feel as if she were a femme fatale who held him ensnared. The memory made her heart seize for what could have been.
No wonder they hadn’t been able to help themselves yesterday. Almost from the moment they’d met, there had been a fire smoldering between them, which had only increased in heat during their time apart.
He took her luggage and placed a hand at the small of her back. Downstairs, he escorted her to a lead-colored late-model Jaguar XJ sedan and opened the passenger-side door.
“You drive?” she asked.
“You sound surprised.”
He smiled, which prompted her to smile in return. Her gaze dropped to his mouth, and she recalled their last kiss in his office.
“I am a little. I assumed you’d have a driver at all times.”
“Perhaps it’s the control freak in me,” he said. “I use a driver on very rare occasions.”
He watched her slide onto the white soft-grain leather seat and took in every detail of her appearance.
As always, she left him breathless. On the walk to the car her hips had swayed from side to side, a hypnotizing movement that could inspire appreciation in even the most detached man. This morning she’d worn her hair pulled back, but tonight she’d set it free and styled it into large, bouncy curls that fell onto her shoulders.
The hem of the skirt she wore swirled around her calves, and his eyes traveled upward, taking in the oversize gauzy blouse in rose. She was almost completely covered from head to toe, nothing inappropriate in her manner of dress, and yet he still thought of the treasures beneath the loose-fitting articles of clothing.
She settled in and crossed her legs, and he closed the door, flexing his fingers and reminding himself to be patient.
He’d had plenty of time to think about their situation, and with the digging he’d done, he knew the dire straits her firm faced because they’d lost a major account the year before.
If she married him, she’d never have to worry about money or losing her means of employment. She would be well taken care of. The thought of how she’d turned down his proposal still left a bad taste in his mouth, but he had a n
ew purpose now and only a short time in which to accomplish it. He’d show her just how beautiful his city was, how rich the culture and friendly the people. At the end of it all, he’d ask her to marry him again, and this time he had no doubt she’d say yes.
Chapter 7
They exited the car in front of Rodrigo’s apartment complex in Leblon, a small but upscale neighborhood and home to the priciest real estate in Rio de Janeiro. In this neighborhood, the rich and famous dined at high-end restaurants and tossed back overpriced drinks at stylish bars.
The valet came over and greeted them both. Rodrigo handed him a few bills before the young man hopped in to take the car to the garage.
The interior of the apartment complex was well lit and painted in bright colors that evoked the tropics. Two security guards sat at a U-shaped desk watching video screens. When they saw Rodrigo, they greeted him, to which he responded with a nod. Their curious eyes rested on Sidney for a moment before returning to the screens. She wondered if it was a common occurrence to see him bringing a woman home.
Inside the elevator he pushed a keycard into a panel in the wall. “My apartment is on the top floor. Only my family, the property manager, and the security guards can access that level.”
“How’s your father?” Sidney asked.
He looked at her in surprise. “You know about his heart attack?”
“It was in the news.” She’d searched out news about him and his family, but she wouldn’t mention that tidbit.
“He’s much better. He takes his medicine and follows doctors’ orders.”
“Does he live nearby?”
“Not too far, in Copacabana in the house he lived in with my mother. It’s the house I grew up in and way too big for him alone, but he insists on keeping it. We think he holds on to the property because of the memories. My sisters and their children often go over to visit, and he loves to have my nieces and nephews spend the weekend with him.”
Heartbreak in Rio Page 4