by Shannyn Leah
“I’ll make sure he behaves.” Stone tossed a hat at her. “Where’s Dax?”
She looked down at the gray plaid hat and ruffled through the tub for gloves to match. “He’s looking for the Christmas box. He didn’t find it in the basement with the rest of the decorations this morning and he’s wound. He’s been up since before the crack of dawn looking.”
“Do you want me to get kick his ass down here?”
Ava laughed. “Thanks, but I think you have your hands full enough with that one.” She glanced at Hawk who was scrolling through his phone and grinning like a child opening presents on Christmas morning. She could only imagine what he was looking at on the screen. Maybe a sexy text from one of his go-to women or even a not-so-subtle picture of their invitation for the night. Yes, Stone had his hands full.
“I’ll get Dax.”
Stone shrugged, faking a pout over being denied an opportunity to whoop Dax. She was sure the two of them did quite enough at the shop.
After a quick search of the second floor, Ava found the attic door open and heard rustling. She’d never been in the attic, likely because the doorway was located on the side of the house she hadn’t lived in before Dax had ripped the wall dividing the duplex down.
This attic appeared as she’d imagined an old attic in an old house would look like. Cobwebs danced on the peaked roof above and swayed from the old chairs hung on the rafters. As she walked down the empty pathway in the middle of plastic covered furniture and boxes on either side, she took her time to look. She couldn’t help but wonder if the vanity or standing mirror covered in so much dust she couldn’t see herself, had belonged to Dax’s mother before she died. In Rowdy’s process to erase all memories of his wife, had he stored all the belongings they’d had up here? Had the old harvest table and press back chairs sat in their kitchen before?
She stopped behind Dax who was hunched down on his knees and digging in the bottom of a cupboard. She could see the areas he’d searched where his handprints had disturbed the layers of dust.
Her eyes followed the wood doors of the cupboard that were so large they almost touched the ceiling. How had they carried that beast of a piece up the thin winding stairs into the attic? This whole attic sparked her curiosity. Maybe it was because some of this had once belonged to Rowdy and he’d been the best father figure she’d ever known.
She touched Dax’s thick shoulder, never quite prepared for the loving tingle their contact sent through her. She smiled, knowing he would be hers for the rest of their lives. Today, however, he seemed too distracted to even notice her. She didn’t hold it against him. The holidays always had these Colyn men a little on edge.
Softly, she said, “Dax, everyone’s here and ready to go.”
“I haven’t found the Christmas box yet. What the hell did my dad do with it? The old senile man.” His grumble was muffled from inside the cupboard.
“We can look for it when we get back.”
He popped his head out and she stifled back the laughter that surfaced at seeing cobwebs tangled in his hair. “I need that box. It was my parents and—”
“I know.” She knelt down in front of him, missing his father too, and ran her fingers through his hair, dusting the cobwebs away. This would be their first Christmas since his father had died only a short couple of months ago. “I know.” She cupped the back of his head and rested her forehead on his. “We’re not doing this without them, I promise. I picked up some of the items on the list. New pajamas for the three of us and I stocked up the hats and mittens. We will grab the rest while we’re out right after we pick out a tree, go on a sleigh ride and fulfill all our family traditions. But we will not go to sleep tonight without finding that box. I promise.”
His hand gripped the back of her neck and pressed their heads harder together. “I love you, woman.”
She shrugged. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
His deep chuckle sounded more relaxed than he had all morning. “I can soon change that thought.” With a swiftness she didn’t think she’d ever get used to—the man had the strength of an ox—Dax lifted her enough to lay her back on the ground, trapping her with his arms on either side of her head, palms flat on the floor, kneeling just above her.
She pushed his chest. “The floor is filthy.”
He ignored her objections and covered her mouth with his warm, hard and hot kisses.
He won.
Her mouth moved with his, her tongue danced when his pressed between her lips and her fingers gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him down. She needed the space between them gone and to feel his body against hers.
He nuzzled her neck with kisses and nibbles while his fingers unbuckled her pants.
“No, stop.” She pushed his chest again, realizing where he thought this was going. “I’m in my long johns.”
“I goddamm love your long johns.” He bit her neck harder.
Ava laughed and playfully hit his chest. “Everyone’s waiting.”
“And they can snack on Wanda’s treats until I’m finished snacking on you.”
“You’re crazy!”
“Crazy about you.”
She laughed harder. “You’ve also gotten sappy.”
He pushed up on his hands to look down at her, his rapid breaths pushing past his swollen lips. Lust clouded his eyes as he stared down at her. “Sweetheart, this is our first Christmas together as a couple. It’s about to get damn sappy and you’re going to love every second of it.”
Ava touched his face. “I love sappy Dax. So much better than cocky Dax.”
He scowled at her. “You think I’ve lost my cockiness?”
She sucked in her lips and grinned.
Without warning, he yanked her jeans down past her knees. She yelped in surprise then covered her mouth with her hands.
“That’s right, when I’m done you’re going to want to scream. But for all the right reasons.”
She held back her giggle, because whether he knew it or not, that was his sweet, sappy side.
“I’ll save the Santa suit for tonight.”
“Santa suit? I’m not wearing some skimpy Santa suit.” That wasn’t entirely true, but a little tease never hurt anyone.
“We’ll see, sweetheart.”
Chapter Three
7 Years Prior
DAX PURPOSELY STAYED a good ten-feet behind his dad and Ava, but they were both making it almost impossible. Ava slowly shuffled her winter boots in the snow and his father kept running ahead to examine a tree and then coming back to discuss it with them.
Dax didn’t want to discuss tree heights, width, or even tree species. White spruce, white pine, balsam fir...he didn’t give a damn which one the old man chose. He’d rather know why the old man needed a live tree in the first place.
If Rowdy noticed Dax’s solemn mood, he didn’t let on. Finally—with no help from his son—the old man settled on a Colorado blue spruce tree. “I’m going to grab one of the guys to cut it down.”
Dax briefly considered offering to cut it down himself, then declined, not wanting to encourage whatever it was impelling his father’s odd behavior.
Ava pulled her hat down further over her blonde hair and tightened the red scarf around her neck. “I’m going to go sit in the lounging area.”
Good plan. Her lack of presence would give Dax some privacy to talk to his dad.
“Go with her son.” Rowdy waved them off.
Dax gritted his teeth.
Ava had already started down the path and stopped to turn at the suggestion. Her unsure eyes looked between Dax and Rowdy. “I’m okay, Rowdy.” She waved.
Dax waved back and watched her a few seconds longer than he should before he turned. A fist met his shoulder and his father’s annoyed stare reminded him of when he’d been a boy and a good scolding was on its way. “Get going. The girl has no money, she doesn’t know anyone in there, and you’re being a stuck-up, bratty ass.”
Rowdy pulled his wallet out of his back poc
ket and shoved a handful of bills in Dax’s hand. Dax felt like a teenager on a date with his dad providing the cash. Only Dax had never gone on an actual date. He had no interest in dating. Hooking up with a woman, yes. But dating was out of the question.
“Get her something warm to drink and maybe a snack. She’s eating for two. And would it hurt you to smile? Seriously? A corner lift. Or a nod that doesn’t say her presence annoys you.”
“Her presence does annoy me.”
“Didn’t know I raise a spoiled jealous brat.”
Dax squared his shoulders. “I’m not jealous.”
“How old are you again?”
“How old is she? You’re treating her like a lost child.”
His father stepped closer. “What do you think she feels like right now? How would you feel if everyone in your family had just died? How’d you feel when your mom died? I know how I felt.”
Dax’s mother’s death had nearly killed his dad and she’d taken a piece of Dax’s heart with her too.
“If you can’t find an ounce of sympathy inside you that relates to what she’s going through then I didn’t raise the man I thought I had.” Rowdy stood still, his eyes challenging his son until Dax realized the old man was right. “Don’t make me start singing.” A glimmer of humor danced in his father’s eyes.
Dax glared harder.
“Dax the halls with boughs of holly...”
“Stop.”
“...tis the season to be jolly—”
“Fine,” Dax growled to shut his father up. Anything to make him stop. “But I have my own damn money.” He shoved the money against his dad’s chest before turning and trudging back through the snow toward a woman he didn’t even know.
Damn, his dad was getting sappy in his old age. But he was right. The girl had lost her family, and here she was, choosing a Christmas tree with a widower and his miserable son while likely only thinking about those she lost. Just like Dax had been thinking about his mother since the first day in December. Just as Rowdy had been doing as well.
Current Day
AVA’S BOOTS CRUNCHED on the already flattened snow trail through the farm tree. She followed Dax, who had hoisted Olivia onto his shoulders, and listened as they discussed tree specifics.
“Your jacket is dusty.” Ava jumped as Wanda’s hands began dusting the back of her jacket. “Almost as if you were rolling around on the ground.”
The older woman had no idea.
As Ava remembered making love with Dax while the rest of the group had waited two floors down, she said a silent prayer of thanks that the cold winter air had already nipped some pink color into her cheeks, hiding her current blush.
“Ohhh!” Hawks voice made her mentally jump back to the present. “She was rolling around. Score for Ava. Pump it.” He walked backwards in front of her and extended his fist toward her. “Come on, pump it.”
“Do it, or he’ll never stop,” Stone grunted, but Ava heard the amusement in his voice, too. Apparently, the only people they had fooled were Wanda and Olivia.
“Stone’s right.” Hawk shook his fist in front of her and she rolled her eyes but extended her fist to meet his. “That’s right. Pump this for that piece of ass you got. Damn, girl.”
She yanked her hand back. Although Dax and Olivia were way in front of the rest of them, she scolded, “Watch your language.”
Hawk only chuckled. “The girl has been raised in the shop. You think she hasn’t heard the words ass or damn? I’m surprised she’s never said them.”
Ava straightened and gave him her best teacher glare. “She would never.”
“Uh-huh. That girl’s going to be a ball-buster.”
Stone chuckled this time. Ava shot him a look, but he only shrugged. “He’s right.”
“He seems to be right an awful lot today.”
Hawk waggled his eyebrows at her. “Shouldn’t you be the one in a good mood after you and Dax—”
Ava jumped as a snowball flew by the side of her head and hit Hawk right in the side of his.
He groaned, but it sounded more like shock than pain as his hand scrubbed the side of his face. Wanda’s laugh echoed behind Ava. When she turned, the older woman patted her hands together, dusting off the remaining snow.
Ava smiled.
“Maybe if you stopped chasing a different woman each night and settled down, you’d get afternoon sex time too.”
Hawk blinked at Wanda. “Sex time?”
Ava’s smile widened.
“Is sex time a thing?” Stone chuckled.
“I guess you boys better each find one good woman, then you’ll understand sex time. I had daily sex time with my husband.”
A round of groans followed and Ava covered her mouth as laughter poured out.
“What? We talk about Ava’s sex time and your sex lives but the old woman is off limits? I do not think so. I’d even go as far to say I’ve had more sex than all three of you put together.”
Hawk shook his head and then picked up his pace to catch up with Dax and Olivia. “You can’t un-see those images,” he shouted back at them.
“He’s right again.” Stone picked up his pace too. “You women stop giving the ammo for him to be right. We’ll never hear the end of it.”
Wanda looped her arm through Ava’s. “That’ll teach them to try and brighten your cheeks.”
Ava laughed and patted the old woman’s arm.
“How’s he doing?” Wanda nodded toward Dax.
Ava’s eyes followed and she watched her two favorite people searching for the perfect Colorado blue spruce tree. They passed the most gorgeous, full white spruce in search of Rowdy’s favorite.
“He misses him.”
“That’s to be expected. We all miss him.”
Ava squeezed her arm and inhaled in a deep, cool breath. “So much. We’re going to have to find that box tonight.” She sucked in her lips for a moment before continuing. “It has his earliest and most recent memories and I want to add to it. I want to give him good memories now to mix with those older memories, uou know?”
“You have secret.”
Ava stopped walking and turned to eye the woman, without breaking their arm contact. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. We live in the same house. There’s no hiding things from me. Just like your sex time.”
Ava wasn’t sure whether to laugh or worry about what else the older woman knew.
“Now now.” Wanda patted her arm, and started walking again. “Your secret is safe with me.”
A secret no one was supposed to know about. Ava leaned into the older woman’s side for the rest of the short walk.
They found the group gathered around a Colorado blue spruce, just as Ava knew they would. Olivia trailed behind Dax as he circled the tree, listening to him spout off about its height, width and branch density. Her little head nodded up and down in agreement, eyes wide with enthusiasm. As Ava watched Dax, she saw the same glimmer of pride in his eyes as his father used to have. She still couldn’t believe how much Dax had changed in such a short time.
Dax stopped across from Ava. “This is the one.” He winked at her and she smiled.
“First family Christmas tradition done.” She said to her daughter.
Olivia stopped beside Dax, her knitted-together eyebrows just showing under her hat. It was Olivia’s thinking mode look which was more adorable than her daughter would ever know.
“Kevin told me you’re all not my family.”
Ava’s body numbed as her daughter’s change of topic registered in her head. Her heart clenched so tightly in her chest she couldn’t find air to breathe.
Two months had passed since Olivia’s blood father—a loser drug attic—had stolen her from her bed as bait to lure Ava. Ava had found her daughter, and Kevin’s motives to eliminate her and her daughter and inherit the half of Dax’s shop Rowdy had left to Olivia had backfired. He’d been arrested and charged with kidnapping and two counts of attempt
ed murder. The man would be in jail for a long time. Not a day went by that Ava didn’t think about him, but then she’d look at Dax—the man who’d stood by her as she’d dealt with her hard past and the man who would give his life to protect her. She knew she and her daughter would always be safe.
Ava’s eyes found Dax now and the loving look he cast to her daughter gave Ava the strength to find her own breath and chase away the chills of fear. She needed to focus and to take this opportunity to listen and talk to her daughter. She’d refused to discuss that night until now, shrugging it off as if nothing had happened. Even a child counsellor hadn’t been able to break into her daughter’s thought. And now this.
“Baby, of course they’re your family.”
Olivia rolled her eyes. “I know that.”
The teacher side of Ava would have normally scolded the eye roll. The mother in her struggled to keep her smile at bay. But this topic held no humor.
“He said I had another grandpa and uncles who are his brothers and are my real family.”
Ava’s jaw tightened at the thought of the drugged-out, dysfunctional family coming anywhere near her daughter. The day would never come. Never.
“But people pick their families all the time. My friend Alice has two families. Her parents are divorced, so she has her mom and her dad’s new family. She didn’t get to choose them, but since you’re going to marry Uncle Dax...”
The circled quieted even more, as if that were possible. There hadn’t been mention of an engagement, let alone a wedding.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Ava took a step toward her daughter, her life, her everything, and wondered if things between Ava and Dax had been too rushed for her daughter to comprehend. “Dax and I haven’t discussed marriage yet.” She glanced at Dax. “But he is your family, just as he’s always been, marriage or not. And yes, you do have blood relatives on Kevin’s side.” She refused to call the man her father, blood or not.