by Shannyn Leah
His father looked at Dax and he quickly washed his smart-ass look away before the lecture turned on him. “Memories are funny, too.” Too late. “Because even the sad ones are worth experiencing, remembering and never forgetting.”
For the stern, hard-ass his dad had always been, today’s sudden ninety-degree flip left Dax’s mind muddled. What was his old man saying? All of a sudden they were going to start mentioning and remembering his mother? That he’d been wrong by attempting to erase the memories of her? And there it was, his father had left him more confused than he’d started. And it was all because of the woman who his sappy father now referred to as family. A woman he hardly knew. A woman Dax wasn’t even sure he trusted yet. His dad was getting sappy in his old age and the intent stare he wouldn’t break was enough to make even Dax’s adult self uncomfortable.
“If you say so, old man.” Dax wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he hoped his reply would appease him.
Finally, the employee finished personalizing the ornament and handed it to Rowdy. He pulled glasses from his pocket and put them on to inspect the fine print on the ornament.
Ava glanced from Rowdy to Dax, color staining her cheeks before she looked back at his father.
He ignored the little flip her look stirred in his stomach, blaming it on all his father’s family nonsense crap.
His dad lifted the ornament to show it off. Each red scarf had a red name painted on. In order from left to right it read, Rowdy, Dax, Ava and Kid.
Kid. Dax smiled. He liked the sound of that.
He heard Ava’s light gasp as she reached for the ornament. Her fingers grazed across her name and “kid” with a tiny tremble. “I don’t know what to say.”
Rowdy covered her hand. “How about stop thinking so much about tomorrow and live for today. Today’s a good day.” He looked at Dax. “Don’t you agree son?”
Sappy dad moment again. “Yeah, old man.”
Chapter Seven
Current Day
“I ORDERED THE ornament early this year. It’s at home.”
She watched Dax’s hand fall away from the gift stores handle. “You ordered it early?”
There was his Christmas sappy.
Ava nodded. “Yes, I was in there looking at their new shipment of greenery last week—which by the way, I got an amazing deal on two bunches in the urns at the house—” Dax’s hard stare brought her back to the present conversation. “Anyway, one of the employees suggested I buy the ornament early because they’ve sold out of so many styles.”
Dax pointed in the window at the display of blank personalized ornaments. “There are lots in there.”
Ava shrugged. “She must’ve been a new worker. I’ll remember for next year.”
He shook his head—sappy Dax again wanting to follow tradition. “Did you buy our baked goodies, too?”
Ava rolled her eyes and looped her arm in his. “Stop being so dramatic. Of course not.”
“Why not take away Mrs. Calvert’s fun time since you’ve cut off our ornament tradition.”
Stone and Hawk both groaned. “Don’t say ‘fun time’ in the same sentence as Mrs. Calvert. It just sounds so close to se—”
Stone punched Hawk’s shoulder before he could finish. “Once again, I agree with Hawk—.” He glared at Wanda and Ava, who couldn’t hold back her smile. “Again. Fun time has been ruined for us.”
“I like fun time,” Ava said.
“I like fun time, too,” Wanda said. “Fun time in the kitchen, or on the stairs.”
Ava spun a smile at Wanda and grabbed her coat. “Yes, especially on the stairs.”
“The stairs are dangerous to play on,” Olivia said.
Hawk stepped back, making disapproving sounds. Stone covered his eyes and waved his hands in the air, pleading for no more.
“What the hell are you all talking about?” Dax roared.
Ava pointed a warning finger at Dax. “You’re going to regret this little temper tantrum when you see the cute ornament I have that is not in that window.”
“This is not a temper tantrum.” He said it so sternly she almost believed him.
“Sounds like one.” Hawk chuckled.
“Can I get a treat at Mrs. Calvert’s?” Olivia asked.
“Haven’t you had enough treats?” Wanda ruffled the top of Olivia’s hat and the girl looked up at her with pleading eyes.
“Just one more.”
“Why not break another tradition.” Dax walked past Ava and lifted a giggling Olivia into his arms before marching straight between the guys and into the bakery.
“You better find that box or we’re going to be stuck with grouchy Dax for the holidays,” Stone muttered as he followed behind his friend.
Hawk punched his shoulder. “I like grouchy Dax.”
“You like horny Dax, too, but it doesn’t mean that’s the best Dax.”
“He isn’t less horny, isn’t that right?” Hawk called over his shoulder and winked at Ava.
Apparently the holidays were making even the hardest of men sappy.
They finished their shopping on the main street and when they got back to the house, Ava slipped out of her boots and leaned her back against the door, propping it open for the guys carrying the tree.
Olivia bounded inside first. She paused to sit on the bottom step to kick off her boots. “This tree is huge. It’s going to be the best!” She leapt back to her feet and ran into the family room and began rummaging through boxes.
Dax’s booming voice directed Stone who held one end of the tree and Hawk, who balanced the top, safely through the door. Instead of following Olivia into the family room, Dax instructed them into the living room in front of the large bay window.
Ava shut the door and stepped back looking from her daughter, who’d already dug the tree skirt out of a box and spread it on the floor in the corner, to Dax and the tree on the opposite side of the house.
“This is perfect. Exactly where my parents used to have it. I’ll grab the tree stand.” Dax clapped his hands and ran past Ava, stopping to kiss her cheek which brought a round of groans from the men still holding the tree. He grabbed the old metal tree stand from where Olivia had left it on the floor.
When Olivia looked up and realized Dax was setting the tree up in a different room, her heartbroken look crushed Ava. Then Ava looked at Dax and his excitement to involve his parents shattered what left of her heart.
Her daughter slowly followed Dax into the living room. “That’s not where the tree goes.”
Bent down on his knees to set up the stand, Dax didn’t look at Olivia when he answered. “This is where my parents used to set up the tree. Right in front of the window so you can see it outside.”
Olivia’s lips pressed together into a half pout and half angered look. Ava hugged her daughter’s shoulder and decided to step in. She knew Dax would move the tree in a heartbeat if he realized Olivia was on the edge of crying and screaming at the same time.
Her daughter beat her to it. “You’re breaking our family tradition.” She didn’t yell or shout, or say it with sadness that would crush all these men. Instead, her stern, matter-of-fact way sounded identical to her grandfather’s, causing the hair on Ava’s arms to rise.
The room fell silent and all eyes swayed in Olivia’s direction.
Dax straightened on his knees, and turned to face the little girl. Ava watched an onslaught of emotions cross his face. He lifted a foot to rest his arms on his knee and smiled at her daughter. “I don’t think I’m cut out for tree positioning. I’m just not as good as your grandpa. How about you direct me and the guys on where to go?”
Dax reached behind him back under the tree, which the boys still had elevated. He grabbed the tree stand and held it out to Olivia. “It’s a little heavy, can you manage?”
Her waves of hair bounced as she nodded and ran to snatch the tree stand from Dax. “This way boys. You’re in the wrong room!”
Dax stopped by Ava, wrapped an arm around her waist a
nd kissed her forehead. She’d never tire of these warm, protective, loving kisses. “You raised quite a kid,” he whispered against the side of her head.
Ava snuggled against him. “That scene was all your dad.”
“I know. I saw him in her, too.” Dax chuckled.
“You’re not going to let her manoeuvre the tree, right? She’s way too young—”
“Uncle Dad, get over here!”
“Coming!” Dax walked backwards while facing Ava and mouthed. “Uncle dad? What is that?”
Ava laughed with a shrug. “Baby steps?”
He shook his head and Ava knew her surprise this evening would be a good one.
Chapter Eight
7 Years Prior
STANDING AGAINST THE doorframe, Dax sipped his beer and admired the tree they’d set up in the corner of his dad’s living room. All the ornaments from his childhood adorned the tree, and his dad had even used the tree skirt with his child handprints which had been marked on each year. If he closed his eyes he could almost envision this house as it had looked before his mother died, when they’d spent Christmas together as a family.
His dad slapped him upside the back of the head as he walked by. “I’ve been calling you. That beer turn your ears off? Here.” Rowdy tossed his son a deflated inflatable mattress. “That one’s yours.”
“For what?”
Rowdy frowned. “What do you think?”
“I’m not sleeping under the tree. I’m a grown man.”
“You’re my boy.”
“Dad—”
Rowdy set the air compressor on the floor with a loud thud. Without looking up, he said, “Son, I’m not doing this without you. I can’t. So bring your damn mattress over here and let’s get it inflated.”
Dax set his beer on the end table as he walked to his dad, untying the string at the end of the bag. He pulled the mattress out, found the inflatable end and let the rest roll out on the floor. “Are you even going to be able to move in the morning after sleeping on the floor, old man?”
His father scoffed. “Old man. I could whip you.”
“You could try.”
“I taught you all you know boy.”
Dax laughed.
They moved the coffee table into the dining room and rearranged the remaining furniture to position the mattresses closer to the tree. When his dad looked satisfied, he started up the stairs. “Hey, get that box would you?” he shouted without looking back at his son.
Dax fetched the box from the hall bench where he’d left it and carried it to the dining room table. His fingers skimmed the top of the wood as a wave of emotions coursed through him. Expecting the feeling to mirror in his dad, he peeked into the kitchen.
Ava looked up from containers of takeout food she was dishing onto platters and into bowls. “The three of us aren’t going to be able to eat all of this food.” She waved the spoon in her hand across all the assorted foods. “There’s enough here to feed everyone in this town.”
“Yeah, I think my dad got a little carried away.”
“You think?” Her head whipped up after her snarky tone and a smile spread across her face. “Your dad really out does himself. You know that saying, ‘go big or go home’? I think they were referring to your father.”
Dax chuckled.
“I’ve never met anyone who puts themselves after everyone else like he does. All your dad has done is work around me, fit me in.”
“He’s a good guy.”
“He’s a great guy. Amazing.” Her smile fell. “I’m never going to be able to repay him.”
“He’s not looking for compensation.”
She sighed. “Can I be honest with you?”
Dax stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants. “Listen, I’m not my dad. I don’t put anyone first and I’m not the guy you should ask advice or take advice from.”
“I don’t need your advice. I need your honesty.”
He shook his head. “I’m honestly not liking the direction of this conversation.”
“That’s what I want, your honest opinion. Is your dad for real? All his kindness, giving me a place to stay, and the nursery talk. I mean he’s convinced I’m having a boy and should name him Oliver—”
“That was my grandpa’s name.”
“He wants to paint car wheels in the room he keeps calling the nursery and hang rims—real rims—inside the painted tires. Plus, there’s talk about hanging a fender above the window.”
This nursery sounded damn amazing.
“What I’m trying to ask is, is this really him? Or will he wake up one day and his pity will turn into regret?” She looked away and he watched her shoulders rise with a deep breath.
“You’ve been here for months. I think you already know the answer to that question.”
She nodded, her finger wiping under her eyes, at what he assumed were tears. Dammit. He would have enough of these with his father, he didn’t need hers too.
“I’m going to say this once.” He held a finger up and waited for her to look at him with her unsure eyes before continuing. “Once. So don’t keep running to me with your concerns, got it?”
She nodded.
“It’s not called pity, Ava. It’s called love. And, yes, my dad’s love is sincere. Had you asked me this morning, I likely would’ve lied to get rid of you.” He watched a flicker of hurt pump through her watery eyes. “But my dad’s always been a better judge of character than me, so whatever he lays out for you is real. And whether you choose to stay or go is up to you, but just be yourself with him. Do what’s right for you. He will respect whoever you are or wherever you need to go.”
She silently contemplated that for a moment, then asked, “Is this the advice you warned me against taking?”
His insides softened for a girl he had wanted nothing to do with that morning. “Smart ass.”
She let out an amused breath and grabbed a tub of noodles. She dished forkfuls onto a tray. “The real me is starving.” She dropped the sappy side of their conversation. Excellent. At least they were on the same page.
“Can you just give me and my dad a minute alone?”
She nodded as she set the container on the table and then began slowly lowering herself into a chair. She rubbed her stomach. “I can wait to eat, but this kid—not so much.” She spun a plastic white fork in the noodles before stuffing the oversized forkful into her mouth. A groan of pleasure escaped her. “Oh my god, these are so good.” She wiped her bottom lip. “Take your time.”
They’d better be quick before her and the kid ate all the food.
Back in the dining room, he found his dad standing by the table. His hand touched the lid of the box just as Dax’s had, and he could see the pain written across the stressed lines of his face.
Dax stopped by his side. “Are you ready?”
Without a word, Rowdy lifted the lid of the box. He ran his fingers along the top of rolled papers tied with red ribbons. Each of them had their memories written on them from previous years. He pulled out an old photograph and his thumb traced Dax’s mom cradling him as a baby in front of the lit Christmas tree.
His father’s finger lingered at her face. “She was beautiful. Inside and out.”
Words wouldn’t form. Dax gripped his father’s shoulder instead and they silently stood together grieving in a way they never had before. After what could have been minutes or hours, they finished looking through the lid. Before they closed the box, Rowdy pulled a small brown cardboard box out of his pocket. “I didn’t think you would ever be the marrying type.” He opened the box and slid out a ring box.
“I’m not.”
“Yes, that’s what I thought too.”
“Think. That’s what you think.”
“No. Not anymore.”
“Dad—”
Rowdy waved his hands at him. “Can you shut up for a minute and let your father talk, dammit.”
Dax clamped his mouth into a thin irritated line intended to discourage his father
.
Rowdy just chuckled and opened the ring box. “This was your mother’s engagement ring.” He ran his thumb across the clear stone set in the antique ring. “And it belonged to my mother before her.” He held the glistening ring out for his son to see. “I want you to have this.”
Dax held his hands up. “Dad, I’m not going to use this. You keep it.”
“How about we leave this ring in our family Christmas box and the day you’re ready to use it you’ll know where to find it.”
“Don’t get your hopes up, old man.”
“Too late.”
Dax grunted. “Stubborn ass.”
“You get it from me so don’t be bitching about it.” Rowdy put the ring box in the cardboard box and closed the lid.
“Where’s the food? I’m starving.”
Chapter Nine
Current Day
OLIVIA’S EAGERNESS TO decorate the tree put Dax’s search for the Christmas box on hold.
Laughter, singing and teasing wrapped around them for over an hour. It was memories they’d always treasure. Even though every one of them missed Rowdy’s presence, Olivia’s spunky personality entertained them all. But almost immediately after she hung the last bulb, Dax grabbed Ava’s hand and dragged her upstairs to continue the search.
After an hour of digging through dusty boxes and in squeaky cupboards, the smell of takeout food wafted up the stairs and her stomach growled in anticipation.
She stood and dusted off her pants, which were a new shade of gray that only a good wash would eliminate. “Dax, let’s take a break to eat.”
He finished looking through a box before he looked up. “Are you hungry?”
“Yes. Aren’t you?”
“Hungry for you.” His eyes turned a hungry shade of desire
Ava rolled her eyes as his determined walk toward her told her exactly what was on his mind. “Don’t even start. Every last adult in this house knows what we did up here earlier.”