by Sara Hess
Shaw wasn’t timid or shy though. She stuck up for herself and even for me when people had said things to me after the news about my past had come out. When I’d gotten the school housing apartment I’d asked her if she wanted to share it with me because I’d wanted a roommate and she was basically becoming my best friend, besides Amanda.
Shaw had also decided to stay at the University during summer break and was working some kind of computer job, but she was able to stay home and do it.
Shaw smiled when she saw me but then frowned. “You didn’t get the job.” She stated looking sad for me.
I shook my head with a joyful grin. “I did. They told me right then that they were happy to have me as I’d spent many hours volunteering there already.”
Her smile returned but she looked at Nic with mild irritation. “Why were you scowling then? You’re supposed to be happy your girlfriend got her dream college job, dickwad.”
I didn’t gasp anymore at Shaw’s language, or take it seriously that she called my boyfriend names. She did it with everyone, and I knew she did it mostly to irritate people. Nic hadn’t liked it at first, and they’d both taken some time to get accustomed to each other, but they got along with each other now. When he’d come across her reaming some guy out for disrespecting me I think she’d won him over for life, and I think it’s why he put up with a lot of her attitude.
I waved my hand behind me rolling my eyes. “He’s happy about the job, he’s just mad because I won’t let him buy me a car.”
Nic pulled me back against his chest and growled into my neck. “It would have been the perfect ‘you got your dream college job’ gift.”
I shivered at his breath on my skin before melting into his embrace. Any thoughts of disagreeing floating from my mind as other thoughts replaced it…naughty thoughts.
Shaw turned away with her own eye roll. “Before you two get too engrossed with each other; Carrie, did you get my message?”
Distracted with my thoughts and Nic’s hard body pressed against me I mumbled. “Message?”
Walking into the living room Shaw grabbed a glass off the table and headed for the kitchen. “Someone stopped by to talk to you, a lawyer. He said he has some business to discuss with you. I texted you about it.”
Nic’s arms stiffened around me at Shaw’s words and my mind focused as well. A lawyer was looking for me? That didn’t sound good.
I reached into my purse for the phone Nic had forced on me, but which I gave him twenty dollars a month for…because that’s all I could get him to take. “No, I turned down the volume during my meeting and forgot to reset it. Did he say anything else; give any kind of clue what it was about?” I asked worriedly.
Shaw stepped up to the refrigerator refilling her water glass from the built in water dispenser. “No, sorry. He left his business card there on the counter though and said to come by as soon as possible.”
Nic moved around me swiftly before I could even take a step. He swiped up the card and stared down at it with a frown. “Aaron Millington. I don’t recognize the name. His address isn’t too far from here, about fifteen minutes.” Nic looked up with a frown.
I wonder if he thought the lawyer had anything to do with his father. Ever since the trust fund situation Nic hadn’t heard anything from his father or mother. I was more upset about it than he was. I’d never met either one of them but Nic said ignoring him was something they’d done their whole lives so it wasn’t anything new.
How Nic grew to be such a loving individual with two cold parents was a miracle. He’d mentioned Maggie, the live in maid, and how she’d basically raised him, how great she was, and that it was her that had instilled in him the concept of love and affection. I was hoping to meet her at some point.
“I’m going with you.” Nic stated emphatically.
I nodded, knowing there was no way I’d be able to talk him out of it, and I wanted him there anyway. “Should we go now?” I asked.
Nic frowned down at the card again and sighed. “Might as well get it over with.” He walked over to me and kissed me gently staring into my eyes intently. “No matter what it is we’ll take care of it together, okay.”
I smiled letting any deep concerns seep out of me. We could get through this together. With my lips brushing his I whispered. “Together.”
Nic hauled me closer and took my lips forcefully. I returned the kiss just as fervently reaching my arms around his neck to pull him even nearer.
“Man you two, can you please take it to another room. You know I can’t stand that touchy feely crap.” Shaw chuckled uncomfortably. The only time Shaw seemed timid was when Nic and I would get hot and heavy with each other.
I pulled away with a gasp. Nic stared down at me with a wicked grin and I shook my head at him. He always made me forget where I was. Taking a step back I caught my breath. “I’m going to go change and you’re going to stay here so we don’t get sidetracked.” I stated halfheartedly.
Nic’s expression transformed to total innocence, but the heat in his eyes couldn’t be veiled. “I wouldn’t do that. Let me just head in there with you and grab something I forgot earlier.” He shuffled me ahead of him toward my room caressing his hands over my shoulders and arms. I knew where this was headed but had no desire to stop him. My rapidly escalating desires were actually completely opposite of that.
“I’m going out for a quick walk.” Shaw rushed around grabbing her purse and shoes and ran for the door.
“Thanks Shaw.” Nic said as he nipped down my throat.
“Shaw, you don’t…” I began to protest, but the door closed on my words.
“It’s okay. I’ve got a few errands to run anyway.” She yelled through the door.
Nic led me through my bedroom door and closed it behind us. He then spent the next thirty minutes locating that something he forgot earlier, and then I spent an extra twenty minutes rewarding him for finding it.
∞ ∞ ∞
Nic and I were waiting in the lawyer’s reception room an hour and a half later. My legs were bouncing crazily in anxiety. Nic set his hand on one knee and squeezed.
“It’s going to be fine.” He whispered soothingly in my ear.
I nodded and chuckled nervously. “My head knows, but my nerves are getting their messages from somewhere else.”
Nic’s hand moved up my bare leg to slip a finger up my shorts rubbing against the skin of my inner thigh. “I could have you bouncing for a completely different reason than anxiety.” He breathed in my ear.
I froze at the first intimate contact. My hand slapped down on his stopping his movements and my eyes stared at the secretary in completely different apprehension. We were the only ones in the room sitting off to the side and she was typing not paying attention to us which made me breathe a little easier.
“Stop it.” I admonished under my breath. My face had to be tomato red it was burning so hot.
Nic chuckled squeezing my leg. I jumped. The door to the back offices suddenly opened causing me to jump even more. Nic released my leg to grip my hand.
The man who came through the door was older, in his sixties at least, and almost all gray. He scanned the room and smiled when his gaze lit on us…a smile was a good thing. Walking toward us held out his hand in greeting, and Nic and I stood to meet him.
“Miss Harper. I’m Aaron Millington. I’m so pleased you could come so quickly.” He took my hand in a firm but gently shake. The man gave a smile of acknowledgement in Nic’s direction holding out his hand to him. “Aaron Millington.”
Nic took his hand. “Nic Stanford.”
Mr. Millington nodded but returned his attention back to me straightaway. His disinterest in Nic made me think that this had absolutely nothing to do with him at all. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I needed to get a hold of you so why don’t we go back to my office and I can explain. This is an extremely personal matter so would you like Mr. Stanford to stay here or to go with you?”
“I would like him to go wit
h.” I answered with no hesitation.
Mr. Millington nodded and smiled again. “Follow me then.” He moved ahead of us and we followed him through the door and down a short hallway to a small office. He went into the room holding the door for us and then closing it behind us.
“Take a seat, please.” He gestured to the two chairs in front of his desk.
Mr. Millington sat down at his desk and shuffled some papers in front of him before looking back up. His smile appeared more sober now. “Miss Harper, I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but your grandfather, Samuel Harper died two weeks ago.”
I gasped at the news. My mother had only mentioned them twice since the attack. Once, soon after I’d returned home I’d asked after them and my mother had stated they hadn’t wanted anything to do with either of us. The second time when she’d kicked me out she’d complained about them not helping her because of me.
Nic’s posture went slightly rigid next to me, but he remained silent allowing me to process the news. I knew he wasn’t going to interfere unless I broke down. At the moment I was just shocked. It had been so many years since I’d seen either of my grandparents that I hardly felt like I knew them anymore. However, they were still my grandparents, family, and it was distressing that I hadn’t been able to see him again, fix things between us, before he died.
“No, I didn’t know. How did he die?” I asked softly.
“Cancer of the liver. He’d had it and fought it for a while.” Mr. Millington stated gently.
“What about my grandmother, how is she?”
Mr. Millington frowned. “I’m afraid your grandmother died a year ago of a heart attack. She’d had two before this last one and her heart just couldn’t handle the third.”
The hits just kept coming. Tears gathered in my eyes. Both of them were gone without any closure or mending of our relationship. A multitude of emotions swamped me; disappointment, sorrow, hurt, and some anger. I wished things could have been different between us. I knew they had to have been hurting for their son, as I had been hurting for my father. We could have helped each other.
Mr. Millington set a tissue box in front of me. Nic snatched one and placed it in my hand as he moved his chair closer and wrapped an arm around my waist. I breathed deeply getting control of myself as I used the tissue to wipe up the tears that fell silently.
Mr. Millington shuffled through his papers again clearing his throat. “The reason I got a hold of you is because you are the sole beneficiary of Mr. Harper’s will.”
I gasped again. “That can’t be. He hated me.” Nic’s hand rubbed my back soothingly.
Mr. Millington looked uncomfortable. “Well, I can’t say anything to that. I merely officiated his paperwork. There is an enclosed letter that is addressed to you that might explain why he did what he did. I would recommend that you read it at home in case it becomes too emotional for you.” He said looking even more uneasy.
I nodded. I definitely didn’t want to be breaking down more than I already was in this man’s office. He seemed nice enough, but neither of us would be comfortable with it.
He stared down at the papers in his hand. “Most of Mr. Harper’s assets have all been liquefied into cash. His home and car are now in your name. You will need to decide what you want to do with them. There is no mortgage or car payment. The liquid assets come to three hundred and twenty-three thousand and change.” He pushed a paper across the table which Nic picked up to read. My heart was thumping madly in continuing shock. “The house was appraised at two hundred and fifty-five thousand, and the 2011 Ford Fusion blue books at around five thousand. There is some jewelry and some keepsakes that your grandfather wanted you to have. They are in a lock box at the bank cited there near the bottom.” Mr. Millington pointed to the paper that Nic was holding.
Nic was no longer looking at the paper though, he was watching me carefully. I knew he was wondering how I was taking all this in. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure myself. Mr. Millington’s long winded discourse had at least allowed me to compose my emotions, so I was able to sign my name and supply my bank information to all pertinent paperwork during the next five minutes. After everything was signed Nic hustled me out of there as I clutched copies of everything to my chest in addition to the letter my grandfather had written me.
In the truck I sat there quietly staring down at the letter in my hand, but in the distance I heard Nic talking on the phone. It sounded like he was speaking to John about me not coming in for work. That sounded about right; I wasn’t going to be any good to anybody today.
The truck stopped and I looked up in apathy to see that we were back at my apartment. Nic was already opening my door guiding me gently out. He steered me up the stairs to my apartment unlocking it with the key I’d given him to keep. I absently noted him waving Shaw away as he led us down the hall to my bedroom. Closing the door behind us Nic scooped me up and sat down in my oversized bean bag chair cradling me in his lap.
We sat there silently; his chin on my head and my head on his chest staring at the letter in my lap.
“It’s probably not bad, right? I mean…he wouldn’t give everything to me and then write something terrible.” I finally mused out loud.
“Probably.” Nic agreed stroking my ear softly.
I went silent for another two minutes. “I’m afraid to open it.” I confessed feeling cowardly.
“I understand that. You could always wait, but then it will just nag at the back of your mind driving you crazy until you do. You can have me read it and I could give you the gist of it, but again, you’re going to want to know what it really says.”
Everything Nic said was spot on. I needed to know what it said. Taking a deep breath I opened the envelope.
My Dearest Granddaughter;
The first thing I want to tell you is I love you. I always have. I never blamed you for what my son tried to do. He was at blame. Your grandmother and I were completely unaware of your father’s predilection for young girls, but that does not make us feel any less at fault for what happened to you. Your grandmother fell apart after finding out what happened and suffered a mild heart attack. She loved you but she was weak in spirit and strength after everything. She could not face you afterwards thinking that she should have known what her own son was like. I tried to convince her that you would need our love and support after what you went through, but my persistence made her more upset which in turn caused her to have a second heart attack. I loved your grandmother with all my heart and had to concede to her wishes after that afraid of losing her.
After your grandmother passed away I thought I would finally be able to contact you, but I found out soon after that I had cancer of the liver. I did not want to come to you with something so dire hanging over my head and you possibly thinking you had to take care of me, so I worked through every treatment I could hoping I could come to you free of illness. Regrettably, I was not able to prevail over it and I grieve deeply at not seeing you one last time before my death. However, I do not regret saving you from having to deal with my illness.
I was able to see the interview you did concerning my son’s attack on you. You have turned into a loving and compassionate person and from listening to your interview I was also able to forgive my son. I believe if your grandmother would have seen it she would have been incredibly strengthened by it as well.
I went on the internet and saw the young man you are in a relationship with and in addition observed the scene where you profess your love and kiss if front of the entire stadium. It lightened this old man’s heart to see such young unhindered love. Tell him that if he isn’t totally devoted to you I will come back to haunt him.
My last prayer for you my sweet child is that you have a happy and joy filled life. Don’t let anything stop you from claiming everything you deserve.
With all my love and devotion,
Your grandfather,
Samuel Harper.
I was crying so hard by the end of the letter I could barely see t
hrough my tears. All these years I’d thought they’d both blamed me for what happened, that they hated me. Instead, my grandmother had taken the blame essentially becoming heart sick over it, and my grandfather…he’d written that he’d wanted to be with me, but couldn’t because of how weak my grandmother had become. Then when given a chance to come to me after her death he’d become sick himself.
I didn’t blame him for choosing his wife over me. He loved her and she was sick. I knew that it had to have been a difficult decision for him. I wished he would have given me the choice of being by his side at the end of his life though. Thinking that he’d had to go through that all by himself the same as I had to go through my issues alone was heartbreaking. We could have been there for each other.
But then I couldn’t help thinking that if he had made a different decision would I have been here to meet Nic? Would my path have gone in a different direction leading me away from him? This only made me cry harder, and it gave me a deeper understanding of what my grandfather might have gone through.
Nic cuddled me closer and silently comforted me through my downpour of tears, perceiving that I needed to release them. After a while they started to dwindle to a slow dribble. I held the letter up for him knowing that he was probably dying to read it and I wanted him to.
A minute later he let out a deep sigh and enfolded me even closer. “Oh baby. That’s just…not even right. I don’t know how else to express it. All three of you could have done so much for the other, healed the hurts that festered inside each one of you. You could have been out of your mom’s influence and received the love and support you needed. Your grandfather had a hard choice there and I’m not sure he made the right one.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking, about it being a hard choice for him, but I think he did make the right one.” I sniffed and another tissue was offered out to me.